So Far
by kissmedraco
Summary: I couldn't understand how I could dislike someone so much during the day, yet lie awake at night fantasizing, in great detail, about the shape of that same person's lips, and how they would feel against mine, just once...
1. Torn

**Disclaimer: I clearly don't own these characters. Except Charlotte. **

It was too easy, really.

Too easy to imagine myself running my hands through his long, luscious hair and looking into those alluring gray eyes.

It disgusted me that words like "luscious" and "alluring" were the kind that came to mind when I thought of him, but those were exactly the kinds of words one used to describe Sirius Black.

That was, of course, if the words were meant to have a positive connotation. Words like "manipulative", "tantalizing" and "womanizer" also came to mind, on days where his incessant flirting with every female in sight became slightly irritating.

Though, the reasonable side of me hated to admit, the irritation most likely stemmed from the envy I felt when I watched him charm his way through a multitude of girls, none of which, begrudgingly, were me.  
It was impossible not to be jealous of whichever girl was sitting on his lap in front of the fire on any given day. And it was impossible not to imagine myself in her place, with his hands on my waist and his lips whispering in my ear...

The fact that three quarters of the female population, and most likely a sizeable portion of the male one as well, seemed to join in my admiration made me simultaneously feel better and worse. Better, in the sense that I wasn't the only one who went weak in the knees when he grinned, with that stupid, perfect smile in which one side of his mouth turned up slightly higher than the other (not that I noticed). It meant attraction was inevitable and I wasn't alone in the silent torture, nor was it in my fault. But worse in the sense that I was falling for his annoying, twinkly-eyed little trap. And that I had that much more competition.

I wasn't _really_ competing. And if I was, the scales were most definitely not in balance, and I was on the side that tipped lower. Any competition in which one competitor has zero chance of winning is not really a competition at all. Sirius had never looked at me the way he looked at other girls; never eyed me in the hallway between classes, with a smirk that just screamed "meet me in the broom closet for some one-on-one time". The horny git.

Unfortunately, I couldn't speak any of my frustrations out loud to anyone, owing to the fact that Sirius was my, for lack of a better word, friend. Our friendship basically consisted of me sneering at his late night common room snog-fests from close up, as opposed to from across the room, but still, it was a friendship. Somehow I couldn't see even overly confident Sirius Black, who brushed off insults as if they were houseflies, being all too pleased with what I, as his supposed friend, thought of him.

I couldn't understand how I could dislike someone so much during the day, yet lie awake at night fantasizing, in great detail, about the shape of that same person's lips, and how they would feel against mine, just once...

These fantasies were probably the source of my enmity. If I wasn't so insanely attracted to him, I would most likely laugh off the constant girl attention, like the majority of our other friends did. "That's just Sirius," James would say, and Remus would shake his head disapprovingly, an amused smile teasing his lips. But because my stomach wrenched unhappily every time I saw Sirius latch his mouth onto someone else's, I couldn't help but scowl and fume silently. I shouldn't have been cursing Sirius under my breath. I should have been cursing myself. As hard as I tried, and oh, did I try, I couldn't shake him off my mind. So I was just going to have to deal with it, and continue living my life admiring from afar. Or rather, from up close, too close for comfort even. The phrase "so close and yet so far" had never seemed more appropriate.

* * *

The typical Saturday afternoon in mid-October: I was curled up in an armchair in front of the fire, absent-mindedly twirling my wand to stir the dregs in my coffee cup, feigning interest in the Transfiguration textbook in my lap. Peter was in the chair next to me, fascinated by an ant crawling across the pages of his History of Magic book, and Mary was across from us, pretending to work on her Astrology homework but really watching Remus and Sirius play a game of particularly intense Wizard Chess at the table in the middle of us all. Her gaze, predictably, kept lingering on Sirius' concentrated face for longer than necessary. Lily was plastered to the side of the couch, trying to stay as far away from James as possible. He was pestering her with questions about the Potions essay, just as an excuse to talk to her. I caught her eye and gave her a sympathetic smile, and she rolled her eyes with exasperation just as James scooted even closer to her, asking loudly what she thought her Amortentia potion would smell like.

"Like the blood that's going to be shed if you don't stop asking me questions," she snapped, and James, looking dumbstruck, fell silent. Remus laughed quietly as he surveyed his chess board to decide his next move, but stopped and looked apologetic when James shot him a death glare.

"Thank you, Lily, for letting me know it's _my_ blood you'll be smelling in your love potion. Quite romantic, really," James retorted after regaining his composure. Even I chuckled under my breath, feeling sorry for Lily. James was impossible to scare off; the harder she tried to get rid of him, the harder he tried to get her to go out with him.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Lily seethed through clenched teeth, burning red. She shot James a quick look, and after seeing the satisfied grin on his face, she stood up, gathered her belongings, and stormed off to the girls' dormitory without another word.

"What did I say?" James asked, feigning innocence, and leaned back against the couch with his arms behind his head, the same satisfied smirk on his lips.

"You know what you should do, mate?" Sirius said, not tearing his eyes off the board as one of Remus' knights violently smashed into his only remaining bishop, "You should try and make her jealous,"

I scoffed, in no way surprised that player-boy Sirius would come up with such an awful idea. He turned and looked at me, surprised, and my heart fluttered a little at how cute he looked with his eyebrows furrowed. Stupid heart.

"What? It's brilliant! I know a certain Hufflepuff who would be happy to latch herself onto James whenever Lily's around. And probably when she's not around, too," Sirius grinned, turning to James and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Except Lily's not exactly the jealous type. Especially since she doesn't see James like that at all," I countered, and mouthed "sorry" to James when I saw his crestfallen expression.

"Aw, come on, Charlotte, let us have a little fun," Sirius whined, turning back to his game and edging on one of his rooks to take down Remus' pawn.

"You really don't think she likes me even the slightest bit?" he asked me sadly, chewing on his lip and stealing glances towards the girls' dormitory as if waiting for her to come back down any second.

"Er, well," I paused, torn. If I was going to be truthful, the answer was no, but there was a hopeful glint in his eye that I couldn't bring myself to crush, "I guess anything is possible, really. I'm not a seer, so as far as I know, maybe she does…will like you," James smiled thankfully and turned back to his essay. Remus caught my eye and winked, knowing that I had lied to spare our friend's feelings. I smiled back, then wrapped a lock of my blonde hair around my finger, lost in thought.

If I had asked any of my friends whether they believed Sirius could ever like me, would they respond the same way I had answered James?

Would they lie to give me a glimmer of hope or would the idea be so ludicrous that they wouldn't even hesitate to bring me back to reality?

I shook my head, the idea of ever revealing my fantasies to anyone almost causing me to laugh out loud.

As if.

**A/N: If anyone is reading this, thank you times a million. If anyone takes the time to review, thank you even more. **

**I'm super interested to see where I can take this!**


	2. Hags

I woke up to the sound of someone closing the door behind them as they left the room. I blinked rapidly, my eyes adjusting to the light streaming in from the window. Yawning, I wondered why the curtains around my bed weren't drawn, before realizing I had fallen asleep with my face on a book. My Charms textbook, to be exact, which I noticed when I picked it up by the corner to avoid touching the pile of drool on the pages. I grabbed my wand off the nightstand, muttering an incantation to dry the book off before throwing it haphazardly in the direction of my book bag. I collapsed back into the sheets and was just beginning to drift off again when the door opened for the second time, this time closing with a loud slam.

"What the 'ell?" I groaned, not lifting my head off the pillow. I could hear Scarlett, another of my roommates, mumble incomprehensibly in the bed next to mine, and Mary let out a stream of a few choice words under her breath.

"It's seven in the morning," Scarlett bemoaned, followed by the unmistakable sound of her flopping back into bed.

"I thought you wanted to go to the library before breakfast," Lily's voice came from the dresser where she was most likely standing, getting ready earlier than I could fathom, as she usually did.

"But _he _was standing right outside the portrait, with some fourth year Ravenclaw all over him," Isabelle, the fifth and last of the sixth year Gryffindor girls, seethed from the doorway. I finally looked up, intrigued, to see her walk over to Lily's bed and flounce down on it, arms crossed over her chest.

"This early?" Lily asked with a mixture of amusement and disgust on her face.

The muffled response of Isabelle groaning into a pillow answered Lily's question.

"Oh, sweetie," Lily said sympathetically, sitting next to Isabelle and patting her on the head, "He's just a pig,"

"A beautiful one," Isabelle huffed, sitting back up, "And how embarrassing was I? The second I noticed them I just turned around and walked right back into the common room. What if he saw me?"

I didn't have to ask to know who she was talking about. The end of fifth year was also the beginning of an, er, relationship between Isabelle and Sirius. She treated him as if he were the most serious, no pun intended, boyfriend she had ever had, but he treated her as more a fling. When she confronted him about it on the second to last day of term, he told her they weren't going to see each other over break anyway and he didn't want to get "too attached". She didn't take the break up too well; every owl she had sent me during the summer mentioned his name at least once, followed by a couple curse words. A couple months into the next school year and she still didn't seem to be his biggest fan. Not that I could blame her.

"Just get over him already," Mary groaned, sitting up in her bed, evidently giving up on anymore sleep, "I did," I smiled to myself, remembering the day before, when she had been quite obviously glancing at Sirius every minute when we had been seated by the fire.

"Me too," Scarlett piped up, already having stood up and making her way to the bathroom.

"Yeah, that's why you draw every new girl he's with as a hag in your journal," Isabelle muttered, and Scarlett yelped, turning around and grabbing the diary off her nightstand, clutching it to her chest protectively.

"How did you know about that?" she asked, horror stricken, and Mary laughed.

"When you're immersed in that thing you don't notice when _anybody_ comes up behind you. We've all gotten a look at one point or another," she responded, and Scarlett whimpered, grasping the journal even tighter and running off into the bathroom with it.

"I reckon there's a picture of me as a hag in there, too," Isabelle finally grinned, and I managed a chuckle. It was easy to forget just how many girls Sirius had dated. Mary had her turn fourth year, and Scarlett had gotten the first few months of fifth year. Lily and I were the only girls in the dormitory who had not gotten a taste (literally) of Sirius Black.

I wasn't sure whether to feel insulted or complimented. Was I not good enough, while evidently most of the school was? Or was I _too _good to just snog and throw away?

I groaned inwardly. It was too early to read into things. I tried to fall back asleep, but my mind was too awake to consider dozing off as a possibility. I slid out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom, where Scarlett was still hiding, and rapped on the door.

"What? Want to look at my journal again?" she said, her face red, when she swung open the door. Her expression changed when she saw it was me, "Oh, sorry, Charlotte. I didn't know it was you," she smiled apologetically. I waved my hand.

"Don't worry about it," I said, and saw Scarlett glare over my shoulder at the girls snickering behind my back.

"You're all just jealous because Charlotte hasn't been made a hag and you have," I could hear Lily sticking up for Scarlett as I closed the bathroom door behind me.

Little did Lily know that secretly, a part of me wanted Scarlett to draw me in her journal, complete with pale skin and numerous warts.

Because that would mean I was with Sirius Black.

**A/N: Short again. I guess short chapters are just my thing. Sorry!**

**I'm still just introducing characters so hopefully the chapters might get longer when I'm actually getting into the plot.**

**Also, two chapters in one day! Wow! Probably won't happen too often, I was just REALLY in the mood to write. **

**If someone, anyone could PLEASE take the time to review, that would make my day.**

**Please. I'll kiss you if you do.**


	3. Buzz

I was planning on going straight to the Great Hall for breakfast with the rest of the girls before class started. I walked swiftly, determined not to let my head turn and look at Sirius, who was stationed by the fire with other three Marauders, clearly having finished with his early morning snog session. I had no interest in speaking to him just now, not when he had just unstuck himself from some other girl's body a few minutes prior. I tried to convince myself I was angry because he had hurt Isabelle and I didn't appreciate him breaking the heart of one of my friends. But the feeling that had overcome me was undeniable. That same feeling I always got.

I really hated jealousy.

We had almost made it to the portrait hole when I heard it.

"Oi, Charlotte!"

I stopped and winced, unwilling to turn around. I had taken another step forward, deciding to pretend I hadn't heard, when Scarlett spoke up behind me.

"Charlotte, Sirius is calling for you,"

With a sigh of resignation, I finally turned, stopping myself at the last second from glaring at Scarlett. It wasn't as if she knew I was angry with him.

"Do you want us to wait?" Lily asked, giving me a strange look. She could probably tell something was off; she was always really good at reading emotions.

"No, that's alright, I'll just meet you down there," I muttered, and she nodded, looking uncertain, before they all clambered through the portrait hole without me. I cursed Sirius under my breath before making my way over to the couch, standing in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest, "What do you want?" I asked, my voice sharper than I meant it to be, but he didn't seem taken aback at the slightest.

"You're the best Herbology student in the year," he said sweetly. My resolve faltered a little at the compliment, but I regained my composure, "I was hoping you could help me with my essay,"

"The one due next class?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I was in no way surprised that he had waited until the last second; there was no time for homework when there was snogging to be done.

"Yeah," he responded, no shame in his expression, "That's why I need your help,"

"What-what about breakfast?" I stuttered, starting to break down when he began to pout, his hands clasped by his chin in a silent plead and his gray eyes large and puppy-like. He didn't deserve my help, but I couldn't help but feel special. He had singled me out and asked me, me _specifically_.

"Thought about that already," he grinned, motioning towards the table, where a muffin and a glass of orange juice had been nicely arranged on a tray, "I took a trip to the kitchens,"

I hesitated. When had he had time to go to the kitchens, between now and the time when he had a Ravenclaw latched on his lips? And why had he gone to so much effort just to get my help on an essay? I blushed, weighing my options, before finally giving in and flopping down on the couch with a huff. I blamed the hormones. They made the decision, not me.

"Yes! You're the best," he smiled, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. My breathing slowed, and I watched, wide-eyed, as he planted a kiss on it before letting it drop back onto the couch, "I am forever in your debt, milady," he bowed comically and grinned at me before turning to rummage through his book bag for a piece of parchment and a quill.

"You haven't even started yet?" I yelped, my heart still beating erratically and my voice slightly choked after the unexpected physical contact.

"Nope," he answered happily, "So it's a good thing you've agreed to help me,"

I groaned, already regretting my decision. I glanced at the clock on the wall.

"So we have approximately an hour to write an entire two meter paper," I said incredulously, doubting the chances of finishing in time.

"Good luck with that," Remus said from where he was sitting, legs draped over the arm of a chair, his nose buried in a piece of parchment I couldn't quite see.

"Jokes on you," Sirius said, sticking his tongue out juvenilely at his friend, "Because my handwriting is larger than average. Ergo, it takes up more space,"

"That's not the only thing larger than average," James laughed, and I scowled disapprovingly. Peter giggled, momentarily distracted from the Divination homework he was struggling to finish, and even sensible Remus let out a small chuckle. Boys were so immature.

"You're disgusting," I shook my head, only making them laugh harder, "I'm leaving," I stood up, but Sirius grabbed my hand for the second time, pulling me back down lightly. He let go, and my skin tingled where his fingers had been clasped. I felt light-headed; it was those hormones again.

"You said you would help. We're done with the jokes, promise," he said, shooting a warning look at James, who put his hands up in fake surrender.

"Why do you care so much?" I complained, genuinely confused as to why one essay meant so much to him.

"Hey," he retorted, his hand on his chest in mock-hurt, "I may seem like a troublemaker on the outside," he froze when Remus scoffed, but didn't stop, "But I'm a hardworking student on the inside. Where it counts," he finished solemnly, and I didn't know whether to laugh or not. The hushed giggles coming from the other boys answered my question, and I couldn't stop myself from chuckling lightly, even though I was still determined to be angry.

"Well then," I replied seriously, mocking his tone of voice, "We should really be getting started,"

Even the strongest of resolves couldn't resist a small smile after the dazzling grin Sirius gave me just then.

* * *

I could hear my name being called out again after Herbology, and I turned to see Sirius strolling up to me, holding a piece of parchment in his hand and a wide smile on his face.

"Full marks on my essay!" he exclaimed, and I felt a mixture of pride and anger at myself from helping him receive a grade he didn't quite deserve. He looked so grateful, however, that I couldn't help myself from smiling, "And it's all thanks to you,"

"Congratulations," I said quietly, and before I knew what was happening, he was enveloping me in a hug. My arms were awkwardly stiff at my sides, and I could feel my lungs contract. My entire body was numb where it was pressed against his, and I was dizzy from the musky scent of his neck, where my unsuspecting nose was uncomfortably buried. It was over as quickly as it had started, and I could breathe normally again.

It wasn't the first time he had hugged me; we had been friends for a while, after all. But he wasn't particularly the hugging type, and the hugs were so sparse that I never had a chance to grow accustomed to them. Each one affected me in the same way, and left me tongue-tied and tripping over my feet. I cursed myself for being so susceptible to his touch when I barely even liked him as a person, but it was as if my body wasn't even connected to my mind when I was around him.

I tried to pull myself together, and felt someone watching me. I looked up to see Lily staring at me, a weird glint in her slightly narrowed eyes. I blushed deeply and looked away, not wanting her to know the feelings I had for Sirius. She would demand an explanation, and I didn't know how to give her something I couldn't even figure out myself.

"Shall we all walk to Potions together?" James asked, coming up behind us, with Remus and Peter on his tail, and wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulder nonchalantly. She pushed him off with a look of disgust on her face, but he wasn't fazed. He just grinned at her as if her repulsion at his touch was a sign of a perfectly normal relationship.

We made our way back into the castle, chattering light-heartedly, and were just about to walk down the stairs to the dungeons for our next lesson when I heard dark laughter come from my left side. Unable to stop myself from turning and looking, I saw Avery and Mulciber, the two most dreadful human beings in the entire school, whispering to each other and shooting looks in my direction. Severus Snape, who used to be one of Lily's closest friends before he called her something she could never forgive him for at the end of the last term, was leaning against the wall behind them, looking sallow and refusing to make eye contact with any of us.

"Don't look at them, just keep walking," I could hear Lily whisper angrily. There was a hint of sadness in her voice, which was always there whenever Snape was near; she had never gotten over losing her best friend, but there was no way she could forgive him after he had called her a Mudblood.

"Hey, Witte," I froze at the sound of my name leaving Avery's mouth, and I felt a hand on my back, urging me to keep walking, "My favorite person. Have I mentioned how thankful I am for you yet?"

"Just keep going," Sirius' quiet voice reached my ear, and I shuddered when I realized it was him who was pushing me forward.

"Buzz, buzz," Mulciber said, and he and Avery laughed loudly, continuously making buzzing noises. I could feel every inch of my skin turn red with embarrassment. Ever since last year, the two of them had continuously made fun of me every time I encountered them in the hallways. They were ecstatic having something to harass me for ever since they found out I was only a half-blood. I had been a fill-in for Mary, who was a Chaser on the Gryffindor team, in the last Quidditch game of the season fifth year, when she had come down with an exceptionally bad case of the flu and was bed-ridden in the hospital wing for a week. The team refused to forfeit, and James recommended I take Mary's spot after seeing me play the summer before, when we had all visited him, and deeming me "not bad". I had had the Quaffle when we were one hundred and sixty points behind Slytherin and was closing in on the posts when I had noticed a buzzing by my ear. It turned out to be a bee, and I freaked out, dropping the ball in my hands, only moments before our Seeker caught the Snitch, ending the game and causing our ten-point loss that could have been avoided if I hadn't dropped the Quaffle. The entire school had seen my mistake, and Avery had seen the reason why through his binoculars. He didn't hesitate letting everyone know it was a bee that caused me to lose the championship. Half the school didn't talk to me for weeks; everyone had wanted to see Slytherin lose. Only the Slytherins themselves made a point of thanking me and forcefully shaking my hand every time they saw me.

I couldn't help my fear. I had been deathly afraid of bees since I had gotten stung as a little girl. My mother, a Muggle, had taken me to the hospital after I swelled up and was having difficulties breathing. The Muggle doctors tried everything they normally did when children had allergic reactions, but nothing seemed to be working. My father had to sneak me out of the hospital and Apparate me to St. Mungo's, where a Healer had explained that wizard children had more serious allergic reactions than Muggle children did. I had spent the next few days there, drinking numerous potions, until I finally went back to normal. It was an extremely traumatizing experience for a five year old, and I had never been the same around the tiny creatures ever again. Even my Boggart was a bee, which I had sadly learned in front of many of my classmates in Defense Against the Dark Arts my fourth year.

"Leave her alone," Sirius snarled, and I realized he, James and Remus were all pointing their wands menacingly at the Slytherins, "Or you will be sorry,"

"Is that really the way to treat your brother's friends?" Avery asked, eyeing Sirius with an amused expression on his face, "I doubt he would be happy to know you were threatening us,"

"I couldn't care less what he thinks," Sirius replied, growing angrier at the mention of Regulus, who was the complete opposite of Sirius in almost every way. He had been growing extremely interested in the Dark Arts, something that was almost expected in the Black household. Sirius was the noble exception, one of the only situations in which I could say I thoroughly admired him.

"It's not worth it, let's just go," Lily said coldly, and Avery's face changed almost instantly. His lip curled and he looked at her with intense hatred.

"Nobody asked you to get involved, Mudblood," he spat, and Remus had to knock back James' hand to stop him from cursing Avery with a spell he would later regret. Lily was absolutely seething, fearlessly looking back at Avery which just as much antagonism in her eyes. I could see Snape finally stand up from his slouching position, scanning Lily's face. He stepped forward, putting his hands on his friends' shoulders and whispering something I couldn't hear before they all wordlessly turned and walked away. Avery shot us one last angry look before they disappeared through a doorway.

"Snivellus to the rescue," James said sarcastically, his voice dripping with dislike for the pale, long-haired Slytherin. Lily laughed, her voice a little too high pitched.

"He probably just didn't want to get in trouble," she hissed, "He only thinks of himself,"

The rest of the walk to Potions was quiet and awkward, with nobody willing to speak after what had happened. I stopped right before the door of the classroom, turning and blocking the doorway so Remus, James and Sirius couldn't get through.

"Thanks for sticking up for me," I said quietly, scanning their faces. Remus and James smiled and nodded.

"That's what friends are for," Remus exclaimed, and I smiled at the cliché, yet appreciated, statement.

Sirius had yet to say anything. I look at him questioningly, but he was looking at the floor, his jaw still clenched. He always became angry when Regulus was mentioned; we all avoided bringing him up at all costs. I whispered a second thanks directly to him after the other two boys had slipped past me and into the classroom, all my previous anger from earlier in the day dissolving after seeing how badly the encounter had affected him. He still didn't look up, so I turned, my feelings slightly hurt, leading the two of us through the door seconds before class began.

"I _did_ owe you for helping me with the essay," I heard his voice behind me, a trace of his typical carefree nature laced in the words, and I could just picture him smiling even though I couldn't see his face.

So I smiled, too.

**A/N: So first of all, I want to give a huge thanks to jakefan, Ali, and Elphaba01, my first reviewers! Ah! You all made my day, thanks so much for taking the time to let me know that you like the story!**

**Hopefully I'll be able to update every day, or every other day at the least. It's summer vacation and I don't have much to do.**

**Thanks so much for reading. Review if you'd like!**


	4. Fear

I couldn't help but notice that Sirius seemed a lot more glum than usual at dinner later that day.

It wasn't as if I was purposely looking over at him. At least not as flagrantly as the other girls, excluding Lily, were. I simply stole a few glances now and again, my self-control completely disappearing as it unfortunately tended to do whenever he was around.

His normal smirk was replaced with a slight frown, and his eyebrows were perpetually furrowed, as if he was worried about something. His was barely eating any of the food piled on his plate, only picking at a clump of carrots with his fork. His eyes were glazed over, his mind clearly somewhere else than the table at which we were seated.

Either the others hadn't noticed, or they chose to pretend nothing was wrong, because they continued to joke around happily as they had done every other day since the beginning of our time at Hogwarts. I watched Sirius carefully as James cracked a joke that was much too dirty for a dinner environment, expecting him to guffaw like a madman, as he normally would have done. Instead, he looked up, chuckled lightly, before turning his attention back to his uneaten meal. James didn't seem fazed; instead, he was now focused on Lily, who was arguing that she, as a prefect, could not condone such "inappropriate behavior".

"What are you going to do, take points off of Gryffindor?" James grinned at her mischievously, as if he was daring her to do just that.

"I could!" she shot back, but we all knew she wouldn't really. Despite her claims that she was unbiased in the face of rule-breaking, she wanted Gryffindor to win the House Cup as much as any of us did.

I tried to catch Sirius' eye and wordlessly convey my concern. As much as I didn't want to care, I admittedly felt slightly worried. I blamed it on our friendship. Was it not my duty, as Sirius' friend, to help him in his time of need? But then again, as far as I knew, there was nothing to even be concerned about. I wouldn't be surprised if the reason for his gloomy behavior was a snog session cut short earlier in the day. Yes, that was probably it. I cursed myself for caring, and was turning back to my plate when I noticed Remus, from whom I was seated across, looking straight at me.

He had noticed me staring. My face burned red and I opened my mouth to explain myself but nothing came out. I watched anxiously as he leaned forward, motioning with his finger for me to do the same. I complied, our heads centimeters apart, presumably so our conversation wouldn't be overheard. I was glad about this; if he was going to accuse me of being attracted to Sirius, I would rather the rest of our friends didn't know.

"You noticed, too?" he whispered, and I felt my whole body relax. He hadn't figured it out; he'd only realized that I had seen what he clearly already saw.

"That Sirius isn't…himself?" I asked, just to make sure, and he nodded slightly, "Do you know what's wrong?" I asked, hoping my own explanation was at least a little close, but Remus shook his head.

"He's been like this since Potions," he answered, and I tried to remember if I noticed Sirius acting strangely earlier, but nothing in particular came to mind, "We pulled him aside in an empty hallway and asked him if anything was wrong before we came here," Remus continued, "But he claims he's fine,"

I scoffed, and Remus looked at me curiously.

"'Fine' never actually means 'fine'," I explained, "Trust me. I know,"

This much was true. There had been numerous times where I had felt annoyed with the entire world and made no effort to conceal it, but muttered that same word to anyone who asked if I was alright. I had no interest in explaining every little thing that had gone wrong to everybody who inquired, so I shrugged them off with the one-worded response so I could sulk alone. It was strange that Sirius had done the same; I didn't mean to be stereotypical, but I had always believed "I'm fine," to be a female solution to problems, particularly under certain, er, hormonal circumstances.

"So then why doesn't he want to tell us what's on his mind?" Remus looked positively baffled.

"Maybe it's a pride thing," I shrugged, leaning back and taking a bite of my chicken leg. I didn't know why Remus expected me to know how Sirius' mind worked.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, still leaning forward, now resting his weight on his elbows and looking at me inquisitively. I almost laughed at the expression on his face; the idea of one of his best friends being unwilling to tell him his problems seemed incomprehensible to him.

"Maybe whatever it is that's bothering him," I began, then paused to take another bite of my food, enjoying myself a little too much. Remus waited impatiently until I finished chewing and finished my sentence, "Is embarrassing. Or makes him look less manly, or something else ridiculously ultramasculine like that," I didn't realize I had completely abandoned the idea of speaking quietly until I felt more than one pair of eyes on me.

"Maybe you should keep your voice down," Scarlett whispered out of the corner of her mouth, trying to inconspicuously motion towards Sirius with a tilt of her head.

A wave of guilt passed over me as I hesitantly looked at him. He didn't look upset anymore; he looked angry. His eyes flashed as his gaze travelled between me and Remus, before landing back on me.

"If you're done talking about me behind my back," he said, and his voice travelled over the suddenly quiet table. Everyone who hadn't been listening to Remus and me looked over at us curiously, and those who had looked down at the table awkwardly.

"Sorry," I squeaked.

"We were just-" Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Save it," he said, standing up suddenly, "I'm going back to the common room. Don't follow me," he told Remus, who had begun to get up from the table. He sheepishly sat back down. A long silence ensued between those of us who remained as we watched Sirius storm out of the Great Hall and disappear through the doorway.

"Well," James said with false cheer, "That was fun," and the chatter uncertainly rose up again.

Remus let out a fake-sounding chuckle, the same guilt I was feeling present on his face.

"Maybe I _should_ go…" he began, casting a nervous look at the door again.

"No," I stated firmly, "I'll go. I was the one who he heard, not you, so it's my responsibility," my stomach turned anxiously at the thought of confronting Sirius, _alone _at that matter, when he clearly had no interest in speaking to me, but I felt bad for Remus. It wasn't fair for him to do it instead of me, when the situation was my fault.

"Are you sure?" he looked at me, surprised.

"Yes,"

"But…" he began, but didn't continue.

"But what?"

"Don't take offense or anything," he said quickly, "I just don't think you two are…close enough for him to want to open up to you and not to us,"

I shouldn't have felt hurt; he was absolutely right. Sirius and I weren't the best of friends, not by any standards. But there was that little part of me, that traitorous part that ached when our lack of interaction was mentioned. The same stupid part that fantasized about kissing him while the rest of me screamed "no". I tried not to let any of this show on my face as I stood up and gathered my belongings, not giving Remus another chance to argue.

"I'm going," I stated affirmatively, and something in my voice stopped Remus for trying to get me to change my mind, "I'll make him talk,"

* * *

I practically ran up the stairs and through the corridors until I made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady. It swung open after I sputtered "pumpernickel", trying to catch my breath, and I scrambled through the hole into the common room.

It wasn't hard to find him. Everyone else was at dinner; he was the only one in the room, the back of his head visible over the top of the armchair by the fireplace. I approached him cautiously until I was only a few meters away, at which point I froze, trying to think of what to say. He was scowling, staring into the fire, the toe of his shoes dangerously close to the hearth.

"I told you not to follow me," he said suddenly, causing me to jump a couple centimeters into the air.

"Technically you told Remus, not me," I tried to joke, but he didn't respond, "Look, I'm sorry. We both are,"

Still no response.

"We were only talking about you because we were concerned for…for you," I faltered, and he actually turned his head to look at me, his eyes narrow.

"There's no need to be concerned," he smiled sarcastically, "I'm just being ridiculously overmasculine,"

I blushed deeply, feeling even guiltier than before. My words, coming out of his mouth, made me sound so _mean. _He had never done anything to me; nothing other than make me jealous. But it wasn't as if he was doing it on purpose. My uncontrollable emotions weren't his fault. They weren't even mine. They were just _there_.

"Wow, I'm a bitch," I said, more to myself than to him. He laughed out loud, surprising the both of us.

"Wish I could argue with that right now," he chuckled lightly.

"I really am sorry," I tried again, and he sighed, pushing the chair back and turning it so it was facing me. I felt awkward, standing there as he stared, and I wrung my hands behind my back, waiting for him to respond.

"I believe you," he said finally, "And I don't blame you either. I'm just being a prat,"

I didn't agree with him, at least not out loud, but I didn't disagree with him either. I moved to sit on the nearest couch, working up the nerve to ask my next question.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I finally asked, quietly, and he continued to stare, as if sizing me up. Without warning, he rose from his spot and came to sit down next to me. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, and I restrained myself from shivering. I watched, my breath slowed, as he ran a hand through his hair, opening and closing his mouth a few times.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully.

"I understand if you don't want to," I spoke carefully, gauging his reaction, "But it might help,"

He looked at me again, and I could almost see him weighing the options in his mind.

"You have to swear you won't tell anyone," he said when he had made his decision, and my heartbeat quickened.

"Sure," I said uncertainly, "But why?"

"Well," he smiled at me, scooting a little closer, and I felt goose pimples emerge on my arms, "I'm about to tell you my biggest fear, and I don't exactly want the whole school knowing, you understand,"

I restrained the urge to grin. For the second time in a single day, Sirius Black had chosen me over everyone else.

"I read somewhere that telling a person about your fears is the best way to get to know them," I said quietly, unsure why I was telling him that.

"I don't have to ask about yours," he said in a teasing tone of voice. I should have known he would refer to the bee incident. I groaned, and covered my red face in my hands.

"That's so embarrassing," I mumbled between my fingers, and I felt the couch vibrate from his laughter.

"You can't help what you're afraid of," he said after he suddenly stopped laughing, and there was an undeniable sadness laced in his words.

"What is it?" I asked, my eyes searching his face for clues. He mumbled something under his breath, and I had to ask him to repeat it.

"Dark magic," he said again, louder, and I looked at him incredulously.

"That's not embarrassing at all," I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice, "That's completely normal. You're talking to the girl who's afraid of _bees_!" He smiled sadly.

"Yeah, but that wouldn't stop you from being an Auror if you wanted to be one," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You want to be an Auror?"

"More than anything, but I can't even face my idiot brother's friends without getting scared," I realized then his reasons for the gloominess at the dinner table; the encounter with Avery and Mulciber had left him feeling foolish and upset about his fear.

"But…" I wracked my brain for the right words to say, "That'll just make you a better Auror," I spoke, and he looked up, confused.

"How so?"

"Just look at the way you handled the Slytherins," I said excitedly, "I never would have guessed you were afraid. None of us could tell. It takes one type of person to face a Dark wizard; it's an even better one who still wants to do it while even though he's afraid,"

Sirius didn't say anything for a few moments, opting to look at me curiously instead. I bit my lip, worried I had said the wrong thing, but then his face split into a wide grin.

"You're something, you know that?" he said quietly, and I smiled, feeling pride in being able to make him feel better. I didn't know I had it in me, especially considering the fact that being around Sirius usually made me feel sick, for more than one reason.

He looked as if he was considering something, but then the portrait swung open and the voices of numerous Gryffindors, satisfied after dinner, filled the room. The rest of the sixth years crowded around Sirius and me, filling in the empty seats. They seemed to be able to tell the change in Sirius' mood, because they all fell into a comfortable and happy conversation, not mentioning the scene from the dinner table.

Remus looked at me, a questioning look in his eye, and I smiled reassuringly to let him know that everything had gone alright. He smiled back, hesitantly, and I knew he would later ask exactly what had happened. I would have to come up with an excuse to avoid spilling Sirius' secret, but all thoughts escaped from my head when Sirius whispered in my ear:

"Thanks, Charlotte,"

**A/N: Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. I love every single one of you!**

**I did notice a stupid mistake I had made in the previous chapters, so I ended up getting rid of Ava's character and replacing her parts in the story with Mary's name. **

**I'm pretty sure nobody will be too disappointed.**

**Thanks for reading, review if you'd like! (Please!) :)**


	5. Snap

Sirius had left to go to the restroom, and suddenly the atmosphere was extremely awkward.

I felt uncomfortable, sitting on the couch with my hands clasped in my lap, every pair of eyes on me. It was evident that everyone was extremely curious about what had happened after I came up to speak to Sirius alone, but I avoided saying anything. I just looked uneasily from one friend to another, waiting for someone to speak first.

"Well…?" Remus finally said, urging me to explain.

"Well what?" I answered quietly, playing dumb.

"Don't pretend you don't know what he's talking about," James replied, exasperated. I just looked at him, trying to make my eyes look as wide and innocent as I could.

"Why was Sirius so upset?" Mary finally asked, out loud, what everyone else was obviously thinking.

"And what did you do to make him feel better?" Scarlett added, a hint of jealousy in her voice.

"I…can't say," I said slowly, and Lily threw her hands up in the air, aggravated.

"Why not?" she inquired, and I winced, apologetic.

"I just can't," I repeated, more firmly this time. Sirius may have been infuriating sometimes, or rather most of the time, but he had specifically asked me not to tell his secret. I wasn't about to spill it to everyone right after he had opened up to me for the first time in his life. He trusted _me_, and me alone, not to tell, and I didn't want to break that trust so quickly. Especially when I thought about the feeling of his warm breath on my ear when he leaned in and whispered his thanks. It still tickled a little, just from the memory.

"But we're his best friends," Peter spoke up, looking hurt, and James and Remus nodded in agreement.

"I promised I wouldn't tell," I said, struggling to look firm and intimidating, "And I won't. That's the end of that,"

"You're so stubborn sometimes," Isabelle scoffed, looking slightly angry. I felt bad; she was probably thinking the worst, the scars of her broken relationship with Sirius still very raw. Her mind was quick to jump to conclusions.

Remus was trying to catch my eye. I reckoned he wanted to establish a silent agreement that I would tell him later. Surely he felt he had a right to know, considering he was such a large part of the fiasco at the dinner table. I purposely avoided his gaze, not wanting him or anyone else to falsely assume I _would _tell.

"What's going on here?" Sirius asked. He had come back and was now looking around at us, confused, clearly sensing the tension in the air.

"Nothi-" Remus began, but James cut him off.

"Why did you tell Charlotte what was wrong, and not us?" he asked, looking at Sirius sharply.

"Oh," Sirius said, bewildered, before hesitantly taking the empty seat next to Remus. I felt a bit disappointed that he hadn't come back to sit by me, but brushed it off quickly. Why should I care?

James was now tapping his foot impatiently, raising his eyebrow and waiting for an explanation. Sirius looked at me quickly, then back at James.

"I don't have to tell you everything, you know," he said quietly. James' eyes widened, and he looked a bit taken aback.

"Oh, well, alright then," he sputtered, before turning to Lily and attempting to strike up a conversation with her, his feelings clearly bruised.

I felt bad for James, but, of course, that one traitorous part of me was acting up again, and my heart fluttered slightly in quiet pride. Sirius wouldn't even tell his best friend, the one he _lived_ with, his secret when asked, but he told me. A small, pestering voice in the back of my head asked _Why?,_ but I ignored it. I didn't see the need in questioning a good thing. _Why is it a good thing? _ the voice said again, and again I tried to ignore it, battling back and forth in my head. The part of me that liked Sirius was undeniably happy; sharing secrets was something only close friends did. It was almost intimate. But the other part of me couldn't help but question it. Why, indeed? Why me?

"He's angry," I heard Remus whisper to Sirius.

"He'll get over it,"

"You are being a bit strange,"

"Drop it,"

"But we just want to help you, Sirius, and you won't let us,"

"I said, drop it,"

"Why _Charlotte_, and not us?" Remus asked incredulously, his voice even quieter. I had to strain my ears to hear, and it was difficult to look nonchalant, but I kept my eyes on my hands, trying to appear as though I wasn't listening.

"I don't know," was Sirius' honest response, and my heart leapt into my throat.

"You don't know," Remus repeated slowly.

"I don't. It just happened,"

"What happened, exactly?" Remus' voice was now a bit suspicious. I snuck a glance out of the corner of my eye to see him give Sirius a knowing look, and Sirius' mouth dropped a little. I blushed involuntarily.

"No!" he said, almost too quickly, "Nothing like that,"

"If you say so," Remus didn't sound convinced.

"Trust me. She was just being nice,"

"Just making sure," Remus concluded, before muttering under his breath, more to himself than to anyone else, "Knowing you, I wouldn't be too surprised,"

"Exploding Snap?" Mary said loudly from my other side, causing me to jump.

"Y-yeah, sure," I stuttered, trying to keep the hurt off of my face as she pulled a deck of Self-Shuffling Cards out of her bag and placed them on the table. My mind was elsewhere as the deck dealt twenty cards each to Mary, Scarlett, Isabelle and I. Why was Sirius so quick to dismiss the idea of something happening between us? Was the idea really that incomprehensible to him? I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I didn't think I was particularly _ugly,_ and I thought higher of myself than I did of many of the girls he had seen over the years, though that might've been a slightly biased opinion. He seemed to like me enough as friend, but it wasn't as if we were close. If we were close enough that I was like a sister to him, then his apparent disgust at the idea of kissing me would make sense, but we weren't anywhere near that level. And nice? _Nice_? I almost groaned out loud, frustrated with myself. I didn't even want to care, but I couldn't deny that my feelings were damaged. I wanted him to see me as more than just nice, but, at the same time, I didn't want to be like almost every other girl at school. I was so absorbed in my own conflicting thoughts, I barely noticed when one of the cards in my hand exploded, singeing the ends of my hair.

"Alright?" Lily asked, momentarily disengaging herself from what was apparently a very heated discussion with James, the usual, and raising an eyebrow at me. I had realized my hair was smoking, and was frantically trying to blow it out.

"Perfectly fine," I responded in between puffs of air, smiling sweetly once my hair was back to normal, apart from the slightly burnt ends. She looked at me strangely, but seemed to believe me, because she turned back to James, who hadn't seemed to notice she wasn't paying attention and was still chattering loudly. I felt someone's gaze on me, and turned to see Sirius draped lazily on an armchair, a textbook he hadn't even bothered to open on his lap. He was looking at me thoughtfully, and I could again feel heat rising to my cheeks; I had been blushing a lot more than usual lately. I stared back at him questioningly, and he grinned and motioned for me to come over to him. I looked around to make sure he was indeed asking for me, and, although my feelings were still hurt, I reluctantly stood up, placing my deck down on the table.

"I'll be right back," I said to the girls, who were looking from me to Sirius suspiciously.

"Your cards are going to explode," Scarlett pointed out, but I was already standing by the arm of Sirius' chair, hesitantly resting my hands on it and looking at him inquisitively. He motioned again for me to lean down, and doing so, I could feel everybody watching us, but Sirius didn't seem to mind.

"I have an idea," he said, not bothering to keep his voice down. I glanced up to see Remus looking at us curiously.

"And what would that be?" I asked nervously. I had absolutely no clue what was going through his head. He motioned once more for me to come even closer, and his lips were again by my ear, centimeters away from touching it.

"Wait until everyone else leaves," he whispered, and before I had a chance to respond, he had turned away, opening his book and not looking at me.

Confused, I went back to my seat and picked up my cards, which, miraculously, hadn't exploded. Mary, Isabelle and Scarlett apparently hadn't continued their game at all. I was almost certain they had been watching Sirius and me, and their eyes were all still on me when I sat back down.

"Shall we continue?" I smiled, trying to control my heart, which was thudding against my chest so rapidly I was sure they could hear it. They all looked at me for a few moments longer, but finally turned back to their cards, and the game continued. Again, my thoughts were not in the right place. Sirius "having an idea" and wanting to tell me about it once everyone else was gone was a bit suspicious. I couldn't even think what I would normally think, or rather, hope, based on the conversation he had just had with Remus.

"So…" Isabelle said slowly, snapping me out of my reverie. She was keeping her eyes focused on the game, but I could tell her mind was elsewhere, like mine, "What did Sirius say to you?"

I opened my mouth, thinking of an excuse to give, but at that exact moment, my entire hand of cards exploded, just as Scarlett had predicted, and I yelped loudly. The girls all squealed, before bursting out laughing, presumably at the expression on my face. Only Lily, who had turned to see what had caused the noise, rushed over to help me brush the ashes off my robes.

"I think you're finished with Exploding Snap for today," she laughed.

"Alright, mother," I grinned at her, happy that Isabelle had been distracted and I wouldn't have to figure out how to answer her question. I knew if I told her the truth, that Sirius wanted to see me alone again, she would get the wrong idea.

I settled into the couch with a piece of parchment and a quill, deciding I could pass time by doing some homework. I managed to get it done in the time that it took people to start leaving, but I was distracted every once in a while with checking to see who was still left in the common room and with stealing quick glances at Sirius, trying to figure out what he was planning.

Finally, Remus, the last straggler, closed his book and yawned. He announced that he was going to bed and headed up to the dormitory, shooting us one last imploring look over his shoulder before he disappeared through the doorway.

I looked up, and Sirius beamed at me.

We were alone.

**A/N: Yay for cliffhangers!**

**Thanks, for the hundredth time, to everyone who has reviewed. You're all my favorites.**

**I hope you enjoyed today's chapter. Please **_**please **_**review! **

**Thanks again! :)**


	6. Plan

Neither of us said anything for a few moments.

"So?" I said finally, breaking the silence, and Sirius grinned.

I watched, fidgeting nervously, as he stood up and walked over, lowering himself down on the couch next to me. We were in the same position as we had been in earlier, before everyone had come back from dinner, but the previous experience didn't make me any less flustered this time. My breathing was just as delayed, my heartbeat just as erratic. For a split second, I imagined myself leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. I wondered what would happen if I did. Would he respond positively, or did his conversation with Remus mean he would push me away, repulsed? I didn't even notice that I was staring at his mouth until it twitched and I involuntarily tilted my head a couple centimeters closer to his, before realizing what I was doing. Shooting backwards quickly, I looked up at his eyes, abashed, but he didn't seem to have noticed my strange behavior.

"I was thinking about our conversation," he began, and I nodded, signifying for him to continue, "And what you said about my, er, dilemma and how it could help,"

I nodded again, noticing how he couldn't even say the word "fear". He must have been really embarrassed. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about kissing him again. He was just so _close_. And maybe I could make him feel a bit better, take his mind off of things for a while…

I almost didn't realize when he started talking again, and I cursed myself for being so easily distracted. When he was sitting mere centimeters away from me, it was harder to convince myself that I didn't like him, and that I didn't care. When he was close enough to touch, it was harder to restrain myself from reaching out and running my fingers through his hair, just to see what it felt like.

"And then I thought about what else might be able to help," he said, then paused, smiling teasingly, keeping me in suspense. Unwilling to play his games and admit that he had an effect over me in any way, I kept silent, assuming he would give up eventually and continue. But his smile never faltered, and we sat there for a few awkwardly silent moments before I cracked.

"And?" I urged, and his smile widened.

"Well, you might not like the idea," he said, slowly looking away, the teasing still evident in his voice. I almost groaned; he was so _irritating_.

"Try me," I muttered, and he looked back at me.

"As you may know, I'm known around here, by some, as slightly…_troublesome_" he wiggled his eyebrows, looking satisfied with himself.

"That's one way of putting it," I scoffed.

"Alright, so I may be a bit of a prankster," he shrugged, grinning, "But somebody's got to lighten up the mood around here,"

"What exactly does this have to do with what we were talking about earlier?" I cut in, not liking at all where this was going.

"I'm getting there," he held up a hand to signify that I wait, and I bit my lip, deciding to let him finish speaking before I jumped to any conclusions, "As I was saying, I wanted to think of another way to help me overcome my…my problem," I noticed again how he avoided directly mentioning his fear, "So I thought about what I'm good at, and my tricks were the first thing that came to mind. And _then_ I thought of how I could connect the two,"

"Oh, no," I groaned, breaking my promise to myself not to interrupt, after I strung two and two together.

"Oh, _yes_," he responded, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"What do you plan on doing?" I winced, already imagining all the ways something could go wrong.

"I'm not sure yet," he said thoughtfully, "I thought that's where you might come in. Help me come up with a plan,"

"_Me_?" I asked incredulously, staring at him in disbelief, "Why _me_?"

"You were just so willing to help me earlier," he faltered, seeing the look on my face and frowning slightly, "I just assumed you'd be willing to help me again. But if you aren't…"

"I am," I said quickly, regretting the words the second they left my mouth, "I was just surprised you asked me and not one of the guys. I'm sure they'd be ecstatic if you asked them to help,"

"I thought it would be fun for the two of us to do together. I always pull pranks with the guys. Besides, you're the only one who knows the reason why I want to do it," he shrugged, "We've never been super close, but after you came up here to talk to me, I realized that that's stupid. We should be,"

"Should be…close?" I practically squeaked, and he smiled softly.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "You're a good friend,"

"Thanks," I smiled back, hesitantly, feeling guilty for all the negative things I had thought about him. I definitely didn't _feel_ like a good friend.

"So you'll do it?" he asked anxiously.

I paused. My instinct was telling me to say no, but he looked so hopeful, and, for the _third _time in two days, he had singled me out. I felt as if I couldn't refuse. Besides, I reckoned saying yes would mean getting to spend more time alone with him, which was definitely preferable to being with him when there were other girls around. I sighed, and glanced up to see him looking at me expectantly.

"Fine," I said finally, and he jumped up triumphantly, "But first…"

"What?" he asked, sitting back down.

"Explain to me how you think this will help," I, for one, was seeing more bad than good when I thought of the possible outcomes of pranking a bunch of Slytherins who clearly spent a fair share of their time dabbling in the Dark Arts.

"If I can get them, and I mean _really _get them," he said quickly, looking at a spot on the wall and smiling as if he was imagining the trick playing out in his head, "It'll make me feel…I dunno, stronger, I reckon. Like I have some control over them,"

"But think of all that could go wrong," I urged, and he sighed.

"Right, but there's not much they would risk here, not when Dumbledore's around. And just imagine the look on their faces. They've harassed you pretty often. Wouldn't it feel nice to finally get back at them, just once?"

"It wouldn't feel _too_ awful…" I agreed, and I had to admit, the prospect of getting vengeance on Avery and Mulciber for all the times they had made buzzing noises at me in the hallways made me undeniably happy.

"It'll be good for both of us," he said confidently, and I stared at him, searching his face. I could see the pleading in his eyes; he was desperate for me to agree. I felt bad. I knew how weak his fear made him feel, how poorly he thought of himself because of it. If he truly believed this scheme of his would really help, it was at least worth a shot. I knew what it felt like to be afraid of something, and I could imagine how good it would feel to be able to control that fear for once.

"You're right," I gave in, and he grinned again, his dazzling smile making me slightly weak in the knees. It really was impossible to say no to that irritatingly perfect smile.

"Good," he nodded, then stood up from the couch, stretching his arms over his head and yawning loudly before continuing, his voice business-like, "We can discuss plans tomorrow. I'm exhausted,"

"Tomorrow. Sounds great," I agreed, and he started walking towards the boys' dormitory, stopping right before the staircase and turning around to look at me.

"Goodnight, Charlotte,"

"Goodnight, Sirius,"

With one last smile, he turned away and walked up the stairs, leaving me alone in the common room. I groaned and slumped down, laying a hand on my forehead and closing my eyes. What had I gotten myself into?

* * *

A pair of hands were on my shoulders, shaking me awake, and I blinked a couple times, Lily's face coming into focus above me.

"Wake up, Charlotte," she said in a sing-songy voice.

"Wha' time 's it?" I mumbled, trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Time for breakfast," she trilled.

I sat up, yawning deeply, and looked around to see that I was still in the Common Room. Confused, I thought about the night before and remembered my conversation with Sirius. I must have fallen asleep on the couch after he left, too tired to make it to the dormitories. My dream had been strange, to say the least. I could remember that Sirius was in it, and we were running down a long corridor, before he finally opened a door at the end and pushed me through it, locking the door behind me. The room was dark, but I could see that Avery and Mulciber were there, trapped in a giant spider web and struggling to scream under the threads that were wrapped around their mouths. I fumbled around for my wand, and when I finally found it, I cast Lumos to see that there was a gigantic spider on the other side of the room. I watched as a bee, just as large as the spider, flew through the open window, and the spider scuttled forward, attacking it and pinning it to the web in-between the two Slytherins. The last thing I remembered, before Lily had woken me up, was that, when the spider turned to look at me, I realized it had Sirius' face. A shudder ran down my spine at the memory of the nightmare, and the apprehension that came with what I had agreed to do again filled my mind. If the dream was any indication of what was really going to happen, I really did not want to take part in the prank.

"What day is it?" I asked Lily as I tried to comb my fingers through my hair, which had knotted into one big clump when I had been sleeping. I was so disoriented, I couldn't even remember what classes I had had the day before.

"Saturday, silly," she smiled, flicking her wand and untangling my hair for me.

"Thanks. Listen, I think I'm going to skip breakfast today," I said, not feeling the least bit hungry, "You lot go on, I think I'll go for a shower,"

"Oh," Lily said, looking at me strangely, "Alright,"

"Feeling a bit dirty, are we?" James asked, winking at me, and I looked at him, confused. He leaned in closer, whispering so that only I could hear, "Remus told me you and Sirius were alone in here again last night,"

"Oh, no, it's _not _what you think," I replied, burning red.

"Of course, of course," he grinned, "But don't worry, your secret is safe with me,"

"I didn't do anything!" I yelped, but his grin only got wider.

"What are you two on about?" Remus asked, walking over to us and noticing my bewildered expression.

"We were just talking about last night," James teased, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Last night," Remus repeated flatly, then turned to me, "Did you..?"

"No," I stated firmly, "I did not do anything with him. Nothing. I promise," my voice faltered slightly on the last word, remembering all the thoughts that had been running through my head the night before, when Sirius had been sitting so close to me. But I wasn't lying; I didn't actually _do _anything. Thinking was not synonymous with doing. Which was good, or I'd be in a lot of trouble.

"I know," James said finally, throwing an arm over my shoulder, "I was just teasing,"

"Teasing about what?" I heard Sirius' voice behind me. He was looking at us with a smile on his face, clearly interested.

"Nothing," I said quickly, avoiding his gaze and shrugging James' arm off of me, "I'm going to the showers," Turning away from the group without waiting for a response, I walked quickly to the stairs and ran up the steps towards the bathroom. I Summoned a new set of robes from the trunk at the foot of my bed, and after hanging them carefully on a rack, locked the door behind me and undressed, stepping into the shower. The hot water was relaxing on my skin, and I stood there for longer than necessary, mulling things over.

I didn't blame my friends for being suspicious about Sirius and me. The two of us were almost never alone, so it would have been strange for them not to notice that we had been alone twice in one day. I still didn't completely understand why Sirius asked me to help instead of one of them. He didn't _have _to tell them the real reason why he was doing it; they were all notorious pranksters, after all. All he had to say was that he wanted to prank the Slytherins; I was almost certain none of the Marauders would ask too many questions. Either the fact that being asked "why" was a slight possibility scared him, or…was it possible that he just really _liked_ me? As a friend, of course. I wasn't about to kid myself and think that maybe he liked me more than he let on. It was all so confusing, and even the steam surrounding me didn't clear my head enough to let me get a good grasp of the situation, especially when the majority of my thoughts were focusing on all that could go wrong with his idea. I wasn't going to lie to myself; I was a little afraid. Who knew exactly what Avery and Mulciber were capable of, or if they would even care about getting in trouble with Dumbledore? I thought that Sirius was biting off more than he could chew, possibly putting himself, and _me_, in danger.

Sighing, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself. I dried my hair with a flick of my wand, and got dressed slowly, still absorbed in my thoughts. Making my way downstairs, I started to feel the first signs of hunger and thought if I got down to the Great Hall quickly, I could still snatch a few pieces of bacon before they were all gone.

I noticed my book bag lying on the floor by the couch, and I realized I must have left it there without even noticing. I was about to pick it up and sling it over my shoulder, when my hand brushed against a foreign piece of parchment sticking out of one of the side pockets. Tentatively, I picked it up to see a note scrawled in handwriting I didn't recognize.

"_Meet me in the library at noon. Be ready with ideas for the best plan __ever__! – S"_

Pocketing the paper, I left the common room, unable to stop myself from smiling.

**A/N: Your reviews make me all giddy, ah. And your reactions to the cliffhanger were priceless. I love you guys!**

**I'm pretty sure nobody was predicting a prank to be his idea. I wonder what's going to happen.**

**(No, seriously, I don't know. Half the time I'm making this stuff up as I go along.)**

**Thanks so much for reading, review pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaseeeee. :)**


	7. Alone

After what seemed like days of waiting, when in reality it was only a few hours, I casually strolled, or at least attempted to look like I was casually strolling, into the library, looking around for a tall and attractive long-haired boy who seemed out of place; Sirius didn't spend much time in there. I didn't see him from where I was standing, and was about to turn and walk farther in when someone's hands unexpectedly clapped over my eyes. I jumped a few good meters off the ground and let out a shrill yelp, earning me a disapproving hiss from Madam Pince. At least I assumed it was Madam Pince; it was difficult to tell when my sight was obstructed by a pair of unidentified hands.

"Someone's a bit jumpy," I heard the owner of the hands laugh from behind me, and I relaxed; the voice undeniably belonged to Sirius. After a moment of relief, I came to the realization that _Sirius Black's _hands were on my face, and I stiffened considerably.

"You took me by surprise…" I said quietly, painfully aware of my uneven breathing and praying he couldn't tell. He chuckled and removed his hands. I turned around to look at him, my cheeks burning where his fingers had been.

"Sorry," he said sweetly, smiling innocently, and jerked his thumb towards the back of the library, which was considerably emptier than the crowded center, "Shall we go to the back? I don't want anyone overhearing,"

"Alright," I agreed reluctantly, the idea of being alone with him in an isolated corner not quite appealing to me. I knew how haywire my emotions would go and, worse, what people would think if they noticed. I followed behind him as he led us to an empty table, blushing when he pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit.

"For the lady," he grinned, and I sat slowly, blushing even deeper and avoiding his gaze. Expecting him to take the seat next to me, I was surprised when he walked to the nearest shelf and started grabbing numerous books at random.

"What are you doing?" I asked, confused, and he continued to pull out books of all sizes, not looking at me.

"We need to look like we're studying," he said as if it were obvious, placing a large, teetering pile on the table in front of me, "Otherwise we'll look suspicious,"

"Yes, because being surrounded by books like…_Fashion Tips for the Ill-Dressed Witch _is definitely _not _suspicious," I replied, amused, picking up the topmost book on the pile and reading the cover. I scanned the spines of the rest of the books, smiling when I realized they were all about clothing.

"Yes, er, well," Sirius frowned, looking a bit embarrassed, "We won't look suspicious from a _distance_. Let's just hope nobody comes too close,"

"So," I said, finally mentioning the reason we had met after he sat, "The plan,"

"The plan," Sirius repeated, and I stared, expecting him to continue.

"Well…?" I urged.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly,"

"I've got nothing," he admitted, "I've been thinking about it non-stop since last night but there's always _something _wrong with everything I come up. It has to be perfect,"

"I know you told me to come with ideas, but I'm not any good at this stuff. I tried telling you last night," I said quickly, looking at him apologetically.

"It's alright," he sighed, but smiled soon afterwards, "That's why we're here. I even brought something to get our brains working," he grinned mischievously, and pulled a plate of biscuits out of his bag, placing them on the table and moving the books so they obstructed the view of the plate from the librarian.

"We're not allowed to have food in the library," I whispering, leaning out from behind the makeshift tower to glance at Madam Pince, who was reading something at her desk and not paying attention.

"I know," he mumbled through a mouthful, spilling crumbs all over the floor, "You have to learn to break the rules sometimes,"

"Madam Pince is scary," I shook my head, staring disapprovingly as he shoved another biscuit in his mouth, "I'm not sure this is the place where I should be breaking rules,"

"Loosen up," he urged, pushing the plate closer to me. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the dishware. I had to admit they smelled heavenly, clearly a freshly baked batch from the kitchens. With one last glance at Madam Pince, who was now reprimanding a girl for blowing bubbles out of her chewing gum, I hastily took a biscuit and ate it as quickly as I could.

"Oh, that's _divine_," I exclaimed and ate another one, slower this time to indulge in the flavor.

"Good, isn't it?" he beamed, "You passed my test," he added as I was reaching for a third, and I froze, looking at him questioningly.

"What test?" I asked warily.

"I had to make sure my partner-in-crime was able to disobey the law," he stated, wiggling his eyebrows at me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So you brought biscuits into the library?" I asked incredulously, giggling.

"You _did _hesitate," he pointed out and I held up my hands, jokingly admitting defeat.

"Fair enough," I said, reaching for the last biscuit and not realizing he was reaching at the same time. Our hands brushed, and I pulled away frantically, barely stopping myself from taking a sharp breath. There was a brief moment of awkward silence before he took his hand away as well.

"Go ahead and take it," he said softly.

"No, that's alright, it's yours," I replied, shaking my head.

"No, really," he said, pushing the plate even closer to me.

"I insist," I stated firmly, pushing it back. He looked at me for a few seconds before pushing the plate again, this time more towards the middle of the table.

"In that case, no one's going to eat it. What a waste," he said mournfully, "Just look at it, all alone,"

I laughed softly, and he looked at me feigning sadness, his eyes wide. I sighed; I really did want that biscuit. I almost reached for it once more, but stopped and looked back at him.

"Are you sure?" I asked, and he smiled triumphantly.

"Take it, take it," he pressed, then added, slightly quieter, "I got them just for you,"

"Thank you," I mumbled and looked down, embarrassed, trying not to read too much into the statement. He didn't _mean_ anything by it. He just wanted to thank me for agreeing to help him. Yes, that was it. I took the biscuit and took a small bite out of it; it didn't taste quite as good as I thought it would.

I turned back to Sirius to see that he was now staring out the window thoughtfully, his face resting on the palm of his hand. I watched for a couple minutes, fascinated, as he slowly drummed his long fingers against his chin, forgetting completely about the biscuit in my hand. Suddenly, he slammed his other hand down on the table and whipped his head around to look at me, causing me to yelp for the second time in less than half an hour and drop the biscuit, which broke into pieces all over the carpet. His eyes were lit up and he didn't even seem to notice I had done anything unusual.

"Boggart," he said loudly, and I stared, dumbfounded.

"Er, what?"

"Boggart," he repeated excitedly, "You know how there's a boggart in the wardrobe in that one empty classroom in the left wing on the fourth floor?" he rambled.

"Um, there is?" I asked, still just as confused, if not more.

"Yes," he said impatiently, as if this was widely known information, "What if we lured the Slytherins in there and set the boggart on them?"

"So we could see what they're afraid of…" I said slowly, comprehension beginning to dawn on me.

"Exactly," he exclaimed, "We could just send them an owl telling them where to go and when. They're dumb gits, they'll go even if the letter's anonymous,"

"And what do we do after we see what form the boggart takes?"

"We can figure that out once we get to it," he was still talking very quickly and very excitedly, "But it'll be a start,"

"Right," I nodded, seeing it all play out in my head, "But…using their fears against them, isn't that a bit…low?" I asked, and he blinked at me, disappointed.

"They use your fear against you all the time," he said dully.

"They make fun of me for it, but that's all," I argue.

"That's enough," he grumbled, "They've never had any mercy on us. Why should we worry whether or not we're being _low_?"

"I just don't think we should stoop to their level," I mumbled.

"You promised you would help," he whined, "Please don't back out now,"

I stared at him. He was right; I did agree to help, after all. It would be mean of me to take back my promise. A thought popped into my head suddenly.

"We don't want them to know it's us, right?" I asked, and he smiled, taking my question as a sign of me still being interested.

"Right,"

"But we want to set a boggart on them,"

"Right,"

"So someone has to open the door of the wardrobe,"

"Where are you going with this?" he sighed.

"Well, how are we supposed to open the door without them seeing us?"

I expected him to be unable to come up with a good answer, but he stood up from the table instead, grinning at me devilishly.

"Follow me,"

* * *

Sirius walked rapidly down the corridor. I had to practically jog to keep up with his long strides.

"Where are we going?" I panted, struggling to stay level with him.

"Common room," he said quickly.

"What for?"

"You asked how we could open the door without them seeing us,"

"And how is going to the common room going to answer my question?" I huffed impatiently.

"You'll see," he replied, throwing me that same irritating grin he always wore when he was excited about something he was keeping secret, "Are you by any chance any good at nonverbal spells?" he asked, as if the question was in any way relevant to the topic.

"Sure," I shrugged, "But what-"

"Great," he cut me off.

"Why are you asking?"

He ignored my question, having just arrived at the Gryffindor tower. Saying the password quickly, he clambered through the portrait hole before turning to me.

"Stay here. I'll be right back," he said, disappearing before I had a chance to response. Sighing impatiently, I leaned against the wall next to the Fat Lady, crossing my arms over my chest. I had hardly waited a minute before I heard the portrait swing open again. Sirius scrambled through it, his bag bulging considerably more than it had been before.

"What do you have?" I asked, but he shushed me and motioned for me to follow him as he headed back down the corridor.

"Not here," he whispered, looking around furtively, and led me to a random door, which he opened and stuck his head in before entering and beckoning for me to do the same. I entered, closing the door behind me. We were in a dark classroom, empty except for dust and a few desks and chairs pushed against the far wall. I looked at Sirius incredulously.

"What's so secret that we have to hide in _here_?"

"I'll show you," he said slowly, "But you have to promise not to tell anyone,"

Interested, I stepped closer, nodding.

"I promise,"

"It's not mine, it belongs to James. It's been passed down in his family for years," he said, "And it's helped us get away with _tons_, so it's important that no one finds about it,"

"I won't tell, just show me," I pressed. He looked at me momentarily, before opening his bag and pulling out something large and brown, with a slight silvery sheen. I looked closely and gasped.

"That's an Invisibility Cloak!" I exclaimed, "They're extremely rare; I reckon this is the only one in the whole school,"

"I reckon you're right," Sirius grinned, "So Avery and Mulciber won't be expecting it,"

I stepped even closer, reaching out a hand.

"Can I try it?" I whispered excitedly, and he chuckled, placing it in my hands. I blinked at it in awe, before slipping it over myself. I looked down at myself, and seeing nothing, emitted a gleeful shriek, "This is wicked!"

I ran a few laps around the room, laughing delightedly. Sirius followed me with his eyes, presumably aware of where I was from the noise. He laughed, too, amused by my excitement.

"Just don't be that loud when we're actually in the same room as the Slytherins," he chuckled. I stopped running and walked over to him, closer than I would have dared if he could have seen me. We were less than a meter apart, and I breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm myself after running around and getting my nerves racing, but it was difficult when I was close enough to smell his musky scent. We stood like that for a few moments.

"Why are your eyes closed?" I asked, for, indeed, his eyes were shut tight the entire time I was standing there.

"It's strange knowing you're so close but having no idea where you are," Sirius said quietly, "It's disconcerting not knowing where to look,"

I took a couple steps backward before taking the cloak off. He opened his eyes finally, and silently took the cloak from my hands, folding it carefully and placing it back in his back. I cleared my throat.

"So we'll arrange for them to meet in the classroom at a specific time, and we'll already be there, under the cloak, and once they come in, I'll cast a nonverbal spell to open the wardrobe and let the boggart out. Is that right?" I asked, trying to get the full sense of the plan.

"Exactly," Sirius nodded, "Once we see what their boggarts are, we can plan our next move of action from there,"

"Got it," I said, committing it all to memory. It didn't sound _that _bad; I was sure whatever came next would be worst. I decided not to worry about it until we got there, though. I would focus on this for now; this much I could handle.

Sirius stared at me strangely, with a look I couldn't quite read, before he spoke again.

"What do you say we go join the rest of them in the common room now?" he asked, and I nodded wordlessly, simultaneously disappointed and relieved that it wouldn't be just the two of us anymore, the disappointed part taking over the majority of my emotions once he had turned and walked towards the door, holding it open for me before following me out of it.

I did notice, however, that it was slightly easier to breathe now that we weren't alone in a murky classroom.

Yet part of me wished it would happen again.

**A/N: Thanks, like always, for the reviews. They really do mean a lot to me! :)**


	8. Excuses

"Sirius?" I said tentatively, pulling lightly on his sleeve to stop him from entering the common room. I dropped my hand quickly, surprised with how easily I had just touched him without any hesitation.

"What is it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows inquisitively.

"Aren't they going to ask what we've been doing?" I asked. By "they" I meant the rest of our friends, who were most likely all sitting by the fire and wondering, whether silently or out loud I wasn't sure, where Sirius and I had been. I hoped for the prior; the idea of them all crowded around trading inferences about our whereabouts made me feel slightly sick. I really didn't want them to think I was Sirius' new plaything, for lack of a better word. Though, yes, my infuriatingly insuppressible hormones did get the better of me and cloud my judgment when he was close by, I never really wanted to be just another fling to him, another name on the list of dozens of floozies. I could only hope my friends knew me well enough to discern that.

"Just follow my lead," Sirius whispered with a wink, and turned around to face the portrait hole, "Pumpernickel,"

The portrait swung open and he scrambled through it quickly; I followed closely behind. The Fat Lady's gaze swept from him to me, and she gave me a knowing look. I almost groaned out loud; if even a _portrait_ thought there was something going between us, it was inevitable others would think the same. Attempting to shake the image of the devious glint in her eye out of my head, I trailed after Sirius. I tried to keep a slight distance between us, reasoning that it would look more suspicious if I was practically attached to him as I had been earlier. Sirius walked up to an empty armchair by the fireplace, where, just as I had predicted, all of our friends were sitting and conversing. He grabbed the back of the chair and hurdled over it, landing comfortably in the seat with a satisfied grin on his face. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes; a normal person would have just walked around to the front of the chair. I chose a seat on the couch next to Lily. She turned, feeling the cushion beneath her tilt slightly from the extra weight, and looked from me, to Sirius, and back to me apprehensively.

"Where have you been?" she said warily, and James leaned out from her other side and looked at me, that same knowing look on his face that he had been wearing that morning. I glared at him and he smirked; I then faltered and looked at Sirius desperately. He had told me to follow his lead, yet he was sprawled on the armchair looking as if he didn't have a care in the world; either he really didn't, or he was just a very good actor. He caught my eye and nodded, so slightly that it was only susceptible to me.

"Hasn't Charlotte told you?" he said in a very loud voice, catching the attention of the rest of the group, who had been deep in conversation and hadn't noticed us come in.

"Told us what?" Remus asked, bewildered.

"Is this about what the two of you have been doing?" Scarlett chimed in, "We've all been very curious,"

"I've already asked," Lily spoke up.

"Charlotte," Sirius said in a booming voice, ignoring them, "is my new _tutor_,"

Everyone turned to look at me, and I struggled to keep my face straight and look as if this wasn't news to me. I prayed none of them were looking at my hands, where I was uncontrollably twiddling my thumbs, a nervous habit of mine.

"You don't need a tutor, Sirius," Peter said slowly, confused, "You have better marks than most of us do,"

"Peter, Peter, Peter," Sirius said in a tone one would use with a child, but I knew he was just stalling while he struggled to elaborate further on his lie, "Though that may be true, I'm sure you're as aware as anybody that I simply cannot be bothered to do my homework half of the time. Numerous teachers have let me know that I _must_ do something about the dreadful habit if I want to continue receiving good marks," his voice was theatrical, and I slumped in my seat, resisting the urge to bury my face in my hands. The odds of anybody believing a word Sirius was saying were looking very slim.

"They have?" James asked, seemingly perturbed by the fact that Sirius hadn't told him this earlier.

"They have," Sirius nodded grimly, "So since Charlotte was so helpful with my Herbology essay the other day," he gestured towards me and I smiled weakly, "I enlisted her to help me complete the rest of my homework. I guess 'tutor' wasn't the correct term to use…she's more of a _motivator_," he concluded, and leaned back with his hands behind his head and a smug look on his face; he was pleased with himself.

"A motivator," Mary repeated skeptically.

"I think it's just as strange as you do," I cut in quickly, "But a friend asked me to help, so I am," I was technically telling the truth, but I still felt as if I didn't sound credible enough.

"So when you ran in here ten minutes ago…" Remus looked at Sirius.

"I was getting a book I had forgotten," Sirius said, without skipping a beat, "Speaking of which, I'm going to go put that back now," he got up from his seat, grabbed his bag and walked towards the boys' dormitory, whistling casually; I presumed he was putting James' cloak back before James went upstairs and noticed it was missing. With him gone, everyone turned to look at me. I managed, for a few unnerving moments, to keep the blush from appearing on my face. They seemed to buy everything Sirius had said, miraculously, because they all turned back to what they had been doing before we had arrived, seemingly convinced; James even looked a bit disappointed. I sighed to myself, relieved, and settled deeper into the couch, gazing out at my friends appreciatively. Lily and James were arguing quietly about something, as always. Mary and Scarlett were curled up on the next couch over, poring over the latest edition of _Witch Weekly. _Peter and Isabelle were playing a game of Gobstones, which Peter was losing terribly. My eyes finally settled on Remus, who was sitting alone with a book in his heads, but was staring at the floor instead. His forehead was creased, his eyebrows were furrowed, his mouth was set in a thin line, and his eyes were full of distress. Concerned, I got quietly off the couch and moved over to the armchair next to him, the one Sirius had just been occupying.

"Remus?" I said quietly, but he didn't seem to hear me. I reached out and tapped him lightly on the shoulder; he started and dropped the book he was holding, looking at me with wide eyes, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I apologized.

"Oh, no, it's alright. What's up?" he asked, leaning down to pick up the book from the floor and placing it on the table beside him.

"I just noticed that you look plagued," I kept my voice down, unsure if he wanted everyone else to know that he was worried about something, "Is everything alright?"

"Oh," he said, surprised, then smiled at me gratefully, "Yes, Charlotte, I'm fine, but thanks for asking, that's nice of you,"

I stared at him, unconvinced.

"I was the one who told you the meaning of the word 'fine' at dinner yesterday," I reminded him, and his smile faltered. He hesitated.

"Alright, so maybe there is something on my mind, but I can't tell you," he said, a guilty look on his face. I raised an eyebrow, "I mean, I _really _can't tell you. This isn't a matter of pride, I promise," I searched his face, but didn't detect a trace of dishonesty.

"I believe you," I nodded, understanding the need to keep certain secrets perfectly well, "I just hope whatever it is works itself out,"

"I wish it would," he said, more to himself than to me, and smiled sadly. I decided not to ask him to elaborate, knowing it wouldn't get me anywhere. Instead, I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly tired. My night of sleep on the couch clearly had not been very effective; I felt absolutely fatigued. Planning with Sirius and lying to everyone else was not only leaving me heavy-hearted and nervous, it was also tiring me out completely. I decided it wouldn't be of any harm to rest my eyes for a few minutes. It was Saturday, after all. There was nothing else I had to do…

* * *

A pair of hands was shaking me awake for the second time in one day, but this time, they didn't feel like Lily's. I looked up, my vision cloudy, at Sirius' face, which was staring at me intently. I sat up immediately, then groaned and placed a hand on my aching forehead. Remus, James, and Peter were all standing behind Sirius, looking impatient and a bit scared, though that may had just been my imagination; I was feeling a bit disoriented.

"Everyone else is at dinner," Sirius was saying, and I had to strain to comprehend what he was saying, "You've been asleep here for hours. You should go eat, or go up to bed if you want,"

I was confused as to why he cared and why the Marauders weren't at dinner with the others, but I was so tired I couldn't figure out how to form words; all I wanted was to get back to sleep.

"Will you go, Charlotte? You shouldn't spend the night in here for the second time in a row," Sirius was still talking. My eyes were drooping, but I nodded, just to get him to go away, "Great," he said, relieved.

"Sirius, we _really _have to go," Remus was saying, now from behind me, his voice strained. I wondered briefly where they were going and why it was so important.

"I know, I know, I'm coming," he said quickly, looking at me one more time, "Go, Charlotte," he said firmly, then ran after the others. I waited until I heard the portrait hole close behind them, then settled back into the armchair. I didn't feel like walking all the way up to the dormitories; the chair was good enough. In fact, it felt incredibly comfortable. Before I knew what was happening, my eyes were closing again, and then I was out.

* * *

I heard the portrait door slam and hushed voices filled the room. Blinking, I sat up, and groaned quietly. My back ached and there was a horrible crick in my neck, which was inevitable after hours of sleeping in an armchair. I cursed myself for not going to bed; the position I was in felt like a good idea when I was tired, but the results were definitely less than satisfactory. I glanced at my watch, seeing that it was four thirty in the morning. The voices got louder, and I looked around to see Sirius, James and Peter walk into the room. I looked up at Sirius, whose eyes practically bugged out of his head when he saw me. His mouth dropped.

"You were supposed to go upstairs!" he said incredulously, and James and Peter both whipped their heads around and looked at me with, terrified.

"I…I was so tired, I didn't think I could make it that far. I thought-" I said, incredibly confused as to what they were doing so early in the morning, but stopped short, noticing that the three of them were carrying someone between them. On closer inspection, I realized it was Remus, and I gasped. He looked absolutely miserable. His whole face was drooping, and there was a large cut down the side of his cheek that hadn't been there before. He looked as if he could barely walk, which explained why his arms were draped around James' and Sirius' shoulders and they were holding him up. He looked up at me, not looking as scared as the others, but with a look of defeat, "What _happened_?" I asked, my mouth agape, and scrambled up from my seat. They stood there, clearly unsure what to do.

"Damn it, Charlotte, why didn't you listen?" Sirius said with exasperation, then looked at James and Peter, "What now?"

"She can't pretend she didn't see anything," Remus spoke up, surprising all of us, his voice feeble.

"But, we can't…" James said slowly, looking from Remus to me with bewilderment.

"If this gets out…" Peter added, and I had never before seen him look so panicked.

"It won't, we can trust her," Remus added, gaining strength in his voice.

"Whatever it is, I won't tell. What's going _on_?" I pressed, my heart pounding. I had absolutely no idea what was happening, but I knew I didn't like it.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked Remus quietly, ignoring me, but I heard. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think I could be trusted; he was using me, after all, for his little scheme.

"Positive. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed. I'd love to explain myself, but I don't think I'm up for it right now, and I'm sure Charlotte wouldn't appreciate having to wait," Remus said. Sirius, James and Peter all looked at each other uncertainly one last time.

"Alright," James said finally, "We'll take you upstairs first, and then we'll tell her,"

I watched apprehensively as they dragged Remus through the common room and up the stairs to the dormitory. There was a lump in my throat, but not from the need to cry. It was from fear; I was absolutely _scared _about what they were going to tell me. Any situation that left Remus in the condition he was currently in could not be friendly. Whatever I was getting myself into would not be enjoyable, but I couldn't imagine seeing what I had seen and not knowing what had caused it. If the Marauders were in some kind of danger, I wanted to be aware of it. The three boys finally came back. They walked up to me slowly and hesitantly.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Peter asked.

"It's not something that will be easy to take in," James added.

"If you had only just listened to me and gone upstairs," Sirius grumbled, looking as if he was actually _angry _with me, like I had done something wrong. I felt a surge of frustration; I wasn't aware that falling asleep in my own common room was a crime. Besides, it was clear in the situation that _he _was the one doing something wrong. Catching him and the others in the act didn't make me the villain.

"I _want to know,_" I urged, my panic rising. What could be so drastic that it was taking them so long to work up the nerve to tell me?

"Fine, fine," James said quickly, "But I reckon it'll be better to show you then to tell you,"

I blinked, dumbfounded. _Show _me? Show me _what_? Wouldn't it be dangerous? The same thoughts seemed to be racing through Sirius and Peter's minds, because they stared at him silently for a few moments.

"You're right," Sirius finally shrugged, admitting defeat, "But definitely not in here, we can't risk someone coming downstairs and seeing," Peter nodded in agreement.

I took a wary step backwards. The thing they wanted to show me was _with them_? My mind was racing with all the (terrifying) possibilities. What could they have that was small enough to be hidden from sight yet deadly enough to cause that kind of damage to Remus?

The three of them were walking towards the portrait hole, and I followed behind carefully, pausing when the rest of them did. Sirius was in the front, and he stuck his head out the door, looking around for anyone who might have been roaming the halls. He presumably decided the coast was clear, and motioned for us all to continue following. I almost asked why we didn't use the invisibility cloak, but bit my tongue when I realized James and Peter didn't know that I knew about it. We crept stealthily down the corridor, and Sirius led us into the empty classroom we had just been in yesterday when he was showing me the cloak. I thought about how ironic it was that part of me had been wishing to go back there with Sirius soon, and there we were, though definitely in different circumstances than I had imagined.

"Muffliato," James said, pointing his wand at the door before pocketing it and turning back to the rest of us, "Just in case anybody walks by, so they don't overhear," he clarified.

The three of them were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing me. They all looked distraught, and I noticed Peter clenching and unclenching his fists. I waited expectedly for them to show me whatever it was they were hiding.

"Should we just…do it?" James asked the others, his face etched with concern.

"Might as well get it over with," Sirius muttered, a hint of anger still in his voice. He was clearly very annoyed that they had been caught and were now forced to explain their secret to me.

"Should we countdown or something?" Peter asked nervously. I was completely perplexed now, with absolutely no idea what to expect.

"Alright then, on three. One…two…THREE," James exclaimed.

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

**A/N: The amount of reviews for each chapter is getting gradually smaller, hahah, it's making me sad!**

**Please review! I appreciate every single one, I promise! :)**


	9. Secret

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to scream, so I settled for a high-pitched squeal and involuntarily fell backwards into the wall. I wasn't exactly scared, just taken by surprise; much more surprise, admittedly, than I had experienced ever before. I leaned against the wall, uncertain whether I should step forward or not. I opted for the latter, and surveyed the scene in front of me, shaking my head slightly in disbelief.

Where Sirius, James, and Peter had previously been standing, there were now three completely different creatures. The first was a big, black, shaggy dog, sitting upright and panting slightly, its eyes staring at me unwaveringly. The second was a large stag, perfectly calm and also looking at me intently. The last I could barely see at first in the dim lighting of the empty classroom, but I realized it was a brown rat with a long, pink, worm-like tail. It was also, like the dog, sitting upright, its tiny front paws wrung together. I unintentionally shuddered; rats were nowhere close to bees on my fear spectrum, but I still would rather keep my distance from them when given the choice.

"You're…you're Animagi," I said quietly, my tone incredulous. Not one of the possibilities that had been running through my mind had been anything close to the reality; I never could have guessed that my friends were turning themselves into animals in their free time. It wasn't exactly a common pastime; we had learned about Animagi in Transfiguration, and the transformation was a long and arduous process, and that was without the strain of getting registered with the Ministry. I laughed darkly to myself, highly doubting that the Marauders had troubled themselves with trivial matters like not breaking the law. "Can you turn back? This is kind of freaking me out," I said; I also had numerous questions that couldn't be answered by three animals, as interesting as that would be. The dog, stag, and rat all disappeared, and Sirius, James, and Peter were again standing in their place.

"Now you understand why it's crucial you don't tell anyone about this," Sirius grumbled, "I don't see spending the next ten years of my life in Azkaban as something I'd particularly enjoy doing,"

"So you_ are _unregistered?" I gasped, the concept a bit more dreadful now that it was confirmed and not just my own suspicion.

"Well, I hardly think the Ministry of Magic would happily allow three students to turn into animals at will," James said, and Peter laughed nervously.

"How did you _do _it?" I asked in awe. I couldn't even pretend to disapprove; I was too busy being extremely impressed. Becoming an Animagus was normally a very difficult task for advanced wizards, let alone for a bunch of teenagers.

"It's wasn't easy," James sighed, "It took us three years and a lot of research; we weren't able to do it successfully until last year,"

"But…why? And what does this have to do with Remus? Is he an Animagus, too? Why was he hurt and none of you were? Does Dumbledore know about this?" I rambled, desperate to have all my questions answered. I couldn't remember ever being so dumbfounded in my life. James chuckled sadly.

"Slow down," he urged, "We'll answer all of your questions, I promise,"

"I'll answer your first question. Or at least I think it was your first one…" Peter trailed off, looking hesitant, but shook his head and continued, "No, Remus is not an Animagus. Not technically,"

"Not…technically? What does that mean?" I asked, exasperated.

"He's a werewolf," Sirius said suddenly, staring at the floor, his voice still laced with exasperation.

"Sorry, _what_?" I said, hoping I hadn't heard him correctly, but James and Peter nodded. My heart felt funny, like it was struggling between sinking into my stomach and leaping into my throat.

"Remus is a werewolf," James repeated, and my mouth dropped. I had been wrong; _now _was the most dumbfounded I had ever been in my life. I tried to say something, but couldn't come up with the right words; I just stared at the three boys in front of me blankly, waiting for one of them to elaborate deeper.

"He was bitten when he was really young. We didn't know at first. Every full moon he just told us his mum was ill and he was going home to visit her, but he was really going to the Shrieking Shack to transform. We got the truth out of him eventually," Peter explained.

"The Shrieking Shack?" I repeated, still stunned. I was surprised I was able to speak, but my curiosity slightly overpowered my shock.

"It's not actually haunted, the noises everyone hears are Remus howling and thrashing about," James said, and I winced at the idea of Remus, as a werewolf, running around the dilapidated old house on the edge of Hogsmeade and making the terrifying noises all the villagers were afraid of. The explanation for what everyone had assumed was a ghoul made sense, but it was sickening.

"That's why they planted the Whomping Willow," Sirius spoke up, "It covers the entrance to the Shrieking Shack that Remus uses,"

"How does he get in? Wouldn't the Willow just hit him out of the way?" I asked. I was familiar with the large tree, and I was also familiar with what it could do, which was why I stayed away from it if I could help it. I had had the displeasure of passing by as Davey Gudgeon was being carried to the Hospital Wing after the tree almost took his eye out. I had always scoffed when students made the idiotic decision to dare each other to touch the Willow; few seemed to agree with me until the sight of Davey's bloody face brought them to their senses.

"There's a knot on the trunk that paralyzes the tree if you press on it. Dunno how he did it before, but now we just send Wormtail to do it since he's small enough," James shrugged.

"Wormtail?" I inquired, baffled.

"Oh, right," James smiled, "We have nicknames for each other. Peter's Wormtail, I'm Prongs, Sirius is Padfoot, and Remus is Moony," I nodded as if this was completely normal.

"You still haven't answered the question as to _why_," I pointed out.

"Why we became Animagi?" James asked, and Sirius scoffed. We all turned to look at him.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" he said contemptuously, "Once we found out, we weren't just going to sit back and let our best friend suffer by himself every full moon. It was clearly too dangerous for us to keep him company as humans, so we turned into animals,"

"Sirius," James said in a warning tone, "Believe it or not, becoming an unregistered Animagus probably wouldn't be the average person's solution. And stop being so angry, Charlotte didn't do anything wrong," I blinked at him, surprised. Normally Remus was the one to tell the rest off; seeing James speak so responsibly was…different. Sirius seemed to agree, judging by the way he was looking at his friend. They stared each other for a few moments, before Sirius sighed. He uncrossed his arms and turned to me.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm just frustrated. This isn't exactly something I hoped I would have to explain to anybody, ever,"

"So Dumbledore _doesn't _know?" I asked, but it was more of a statement than a question.

"Merlin, no!" Peter exclaimed, looking as nervous as ever.

"Dumbledore may be lenient in many situations, but I'd rather not think of what he would say about this," James said with a shudder.

"But if you're just sitting with him in the Shrieking Shack…" I started, but the look on their faces interrupted my train of thought, and I narrowed my eyes, "Are you _not_?"

"Er…well…" Sirius stuttered, his face awash with guilt, not unlike James' and Peter's.

"We _may_ go out exploring every once in a while…" James began, and my eyes practically popped out of my head, "It's just so _cramped _in there, Remus goes crazy, he practically bites and scratches himself to pieces, you saw how he looked just now and that was after we were out on the grounds, he's happier then," he said quickly all in one breath, flinching under the heat of my gaze.

"Are you _crazy_? What if he runs away from you and someone gets hurt?" I hissed.

"No one has," Peter said, looking as though he might cry, though his eyes were always watery so it was hard to tell if it was because of the conversation or not, "We keep him under control,"

"Don't worry about it, please, Charlotte," Sirius pleaded, "We're careful, we really are. We care about Remus too much to be too reckless," I stared at them sternly for a few more moments, but, after seeing the beseeching looks on all their faces, I finally relaxed slightly.

"I'm obviously going to worry, but I won't make a big deal out of it," I sighed, and James opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't let him, "And I _won't _tell anyone, either, I already promised," I said to him specifically and he closed his mouth, looking sheepish.

"Thank you," Sirius whispered, and I looked at him. He was again gazing at me with that same look I always had trouble comprehending, and I blushed, turning back to James and Peter.

"Well, thank _you _for telling me about all of this. We should get back to the common room now, before people start waking up," I advised, and they nodded, looking relieved that I hadn't made too much of a hubbub out of the situation. I wanted to; everything they had told me was almost unbelievable, and I felt slightly obligated to yell at them and tell them they were being brash and stupid. But something stopped me; I reckoned it was the fact that they truly just wanted to help their friend. That much I could tell; their intentions were true, and their hearts in the right place. I couldn't bring myself to contradict that; after all, I cared about Remus, too. I couldn't imagine having to go through what he had to go through every month, especially not alone. Having his best friends there probably made what I assumed were the worst days of his life slightly better.

"I want a word with Charlotte real quick, so you two go on without us," Sirius said, and I stopped walking towards the door to look back at him, surprised. I turned back to see James and Peter eyeing us curiously, but they shrugged and left, closing the door behind them. I winced internally; Sirius was making his tutoring cover-up look less and less realistic.

"What's up?" I asked finally, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. I didn't want him to know how much harder my heart was beating now that it was just the two of us again. Sirius Black and I. In the same empty classroom for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. The last couple days of my life had definitely been interesting, to say the least.

"There's something else. Something that relates to what we just told you,"

"Then why didn't you just tell me while James and Peter were in here?"

"Because it also relates to our…plan,"

"Oh," I said, confused once again. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in St. Mungo's soon; my brain was undergoing so much befuddlement. Not to mention all the secrets I was being forced to keep: Sirius' fear, the prank, the cloak, Remus being a werewolf, the rest of them being Animagi…I wasn't sure how I would be able to keep track of it all. I had never been trusted with so much information before, and I had learned it all within the span of a few days. It was enough to make anyone go mad. I watched warily as Sirius pulled a large piece of seemingly empty parchment out of the pocket of his cloak, "That's what you want to show me?" I asked skeptically.

"Come stand next to me," he said in response, and I reluctantly obliged. I would have preferred to stay where I was; the closer I was to him, the less control I had over my emotions. Even though he was being a prat just a little bit earlier, angry with me for something that wasn't my fault, I still couldn't help my feelings; I really hated myself sometimes. He pulled his wand out, and tapped it against the parchment as I watched on, interested, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good," he said clearly, and writing began to appear on the parchment. I read:

_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers, are proud to present THE MARAUDER'S MAP._

"What is this?" I asked, simultaneously bemused and fascinated.

"Look," was Sirius' one-worded response. He opened the parchment up, and I saw a map of the entire school and grounds with small dots all over it. Leaning closer, I realized some of the dots were moving around, the others stirring slightly, and each one was labeled with a name. I gasped, and Sirius chuckled, "We can track the movements of every single person in the school," he said.

"How did you do this?" I asked, my eyes travelling down the map until I found the classroom we were standing in. Two dots, one labeled with his name and one with mine, were indeed there. I noticed how close together they were with a slight flush.

"Homonculous Charm," Sirius said with pride, grinning down at the parchment as his hands with the kind of look a pleased father would give his child. I was impressed yet again; the Homonculous Charm was a highly advanced spell.

"Wow," I breathed, scanning the paper and noticing that even the ghosts were labeled. I could've continued to stare for hours, but Sirius pointed at a certain room and my attention was drawn there, to a bundle of dots in the dungeons, labeled with names such as Avery, Mulciber, Snape, and Black.

"We can use it to see when they're coming up to the room with the Boggart, so we can be ready," Sirius said excitedly, obviously forgetting completely about how annoyed he had been with me less than an hour earlier in the anticipation of the first stage of his, er, _our _prank. I couldn't help myself; I laughed out loud. He looked at me strangely, "Why are you laughing?" he asked, confused.

"It's nothing, just…first you show me the cloak, now this. Are you hiding any more extremely rare objects that just so happen to be perfect for what we're planning to do? Like the Elder Wand, for example?" I giggled, half-joking, but half of me didn't think I would be too surprised if he did pull the legendary wand out of his pocket. He joined me in laughing.

"No, no, that's all, at least that I'm aware of," he smiled, "Though I wouldn't object to having the Elder Wand…" he added, a wistful look on his face. He folded the map up, tapping it with his wand again and whispering "mischief managed". All the words disappeared, and he stuck the parchment back into his pocket. We stood there in awkward silence for a few seconds before I spoke up.

"So, um, how does it feel? Being a dog?" I asked, bringing the conversation back to what it had been about previously in lack of a better question, and he looked at me, surprised by the sudden change in topic.

"Oh, uh, it was strange at first, obviously, but I got used to it. It's fun, but the fleas are a pain in the arse," he said absent-mindedly, glancing at his watch, "Listen, we should head back now, I need to take a quick shower. I promised someone I would meet them before breakfast,"

"Who?" I said without thinking, cursing myself silently when he glanced at me with that same unreadable look.

"Elizabeth Clark," he said hesitantly, and my mood instantly deflated.

"The Ravenclaw?" I asked dully, and he nodded, looking slightly sheepish. I didn't know why I was surprised; I didn't really believe that spending more time with me would stop Sirius from hanging around other girls. We were just friends, after all, so there was no reason for him to cease his regular snogging sessions. Still, that didn't keep me from being disappointed. I kept my face straight, however, trying to look as though I couldn't care less about whatever girl he was planning on latching his lips onto next. I cleared my throat and said, struggling to keep my tone even, "Well, then, let's go," I smiled weakly, not allowing him a chance to respond before turning to leave the room.

I kept my head high as I listened to his footsteps following me towards the common room.

But I couldn't stop the lump forming in my throat.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the latest chapter, you're all fantastic. **

**I also will definitely not be updating tomorrow, so I wanted to take this chance to say this to all of you (or at least the Americans): Happy Fourth of July! :)**


	10. Envy

A couple of hours later found me at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, wolfing down eggs and sausage as if I hadn't eaten in a week.

The initial shock from the conversation I had had with Sirius, James and Peter had somewhat worn off, and the consequences of skipping dinner the previous night had finally hit me. As I was watching with disgust as Sirius, his skin glistening slightly from his shower, bounded down the stairs from the boys' dormitory and out of the portrait hole for his early morning "meeting", I had felt suddenly ravenous, and had to wait impatiently on the couch for a little over an hour until breakfast would be served. I had tried to busy myself with a book someone had abandoned on the table, but the words had just blurred under my glazed eyes, images flashing through my head: a werewolf trailed faithfully by three Animagi, Remus' sad eyes and the gash down the side of his face, and, lastly and infuriatingly, Sirius and Elizabeth Clark, centimeters away from each other and leaning closer…

My friends' voices had finally coming travelling from the direction of the stairs, and I had joined them with relief as they headed down to the front of the school for breakfast.

I was now gulping down my food, starving not just from lack of nourishment in the last twelve hours, but also from the stress of all the secrets weighing me down. It was a lovely feeling to be trusted, but it was also a huge burden. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if I accidentally let something slip.

"Where are Remus and Sirius?" I heard Mary say, and I almost choked on my toast unnecessarily. It was perfectly normal for one friend to ask about the whereabouts of another; it definitely didn't mean she knew anything. I groaned inwardly as I realized how much more paranoid I would be now.

"Remus decided to sleep in a bit, and I dunno about Sirius," James replied without skipping a beat, quickly spreading jam on his bread and shoving it into his mouth to avoid answering any more questions. I noticed Peter staring down at the table

"He's with Elizabeth Clark," I told the others, my voice more bitter than I hoped it would be. I wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a secret; he hadn't said so and he never put too much effort into concealing the times he spent with girls. _I don't even care if I wasn't supposed to say anything_, I thought darkly, remembering the image that I had pictured in the common room earlier.

"What a surprise," Lily said with a mixture of sarcasm and repugnance, and everyone chuckled, though Isabelle, Mary and Scarlett's laughs seemed a bit forced, not unlike mine.

"Hey, can't let a handsome face go to waste," James grinned, and I giggled, genuinely this time.

"Speaking of Sirius…" Scarlett muttered, glancing towards the door of the Great Hall. We all looked up see Sirius strolling casually towards us, followed closely by Remus. For once, my eyes were drawn to the latter; he looked better than he had before his nap, but still not very great. He was walking slower than Sirius, for one thing, and with a slightly noticeable limp. He still looked tired and dejected, but the cut on his cheek had turned into a light pink line; I presumed he had performed some sort of Healing charm on it. His face provided a stark contrast to Sirius', who was beaming and looking extremely pleased.

"Good morning," he said cheerily, flouncing down onto the open seat next to James. I winced, pained by the fact that a girl had put him in such a vibrant mood. Remus remained silent, lowering himself down onto the bench next to Sirius slowly. I watched him closely, and noticed a pained expression flicker across his face for a fraction of a second as he settled into his seat.

"Have a good time?" Lily said sarcastically, but there was a hint of an amused smile on her lips.

"Yes, actually, I enjoyed myself immensely," Sirius, not at all fazed, replied in the same exuberant tone he had spoken in earlier, "Pass me those eggs, will you, Isabelle?" he asked sweetly, and she hesitantly passed him the platter. I reckoned she was thinking the same jealous thoughts I was; I didn't know if that made me feel better or worse.

I glanced again at Remus, expecting him to be dully picking at his food, but I saw with surprise that his plate was already piled high and he was digging in. Being a werewolf must have left him really hungry.

_Werewolf. _How strange it was to look at the boy I had known for years and think of that word. I didn't think I would ever get used to it. Every time I looked at him from now on, that same word would be flashing through my mind: _werewolf, werewolf, werewolf…_

He looked up suddenly and I immediately averted my gaze, embarrassed to have been caught staring. I didn't want him to think I believed him to be some sort of freak of nature, though that technically was what he was. He may have been a dangerous creature once a month, but he was still my friend. _I _became a dangerous creature once a month too, though in slightly different circumstances, and he treated me just the same. I was probably more of a threat to him than he was to me; there was no way he could get into the Gryffindor tower and hurt me during the full moon, but he had unfortunately been the victim of my week-long, er, _moodiness_ more than once. I smiled to myself as I thought of this; my reasoning for things was becoming stranger and stranger.

"I think it's a relatively nice day," Lily mused, glancing up at the bewitched ceiling, "We should go sit outside by the lake,"

"Sounds great," James said quickly, and Lily scowled.

"I was speaking to the girls, not-" she began, but Sirius cut her off.

"It was rude of you to mention it in front of the rest of us then," he sniffed, mumbling through a mouthful of food, "I think, for moral reasons, you have to invite us as well,"

He and James grinned at each other, and I smiled too, knowing perfectly very well that Sirius couldn't actually care less if Lily invited him or not; he was just doing his best friend a favor and earning him more time with the girl he liked. Lily knew this as well, and her scowl deepened.

"He's right, Lily," Scarlett chirped, staring straight at Sirius. Lily glared at her momentarily then sighed, defeated.

"Fine," she stated shortly, and James' eyes lit up, excited at the prospect of spending a Sunday with her, even if she didn't want him there, "Let's go," she stood up.

"I'm not finished," Sirius whined, but James shot him a look and his shoulders slumped. He too, stood up, and we all followed suit. I was in the back of the group, and Remus trailed back until he was level with me. Peter looked at him curiously.

"I want to talk to Charlotte," Remus said quietly, and Peter, along with James and Sirius, who had been peering over their shoulders, nodded in understanding and sped up, leaving us space to speak privately.

"What's up?" I asked stupidly, knowing what the topic of conversation would be as we walked forward slowly.

"Did they tell you everything?" he inquired, without elaboration on what he was talking about, but I didn't have to ask. He stared ahead of him, at the back of our friends' shoes.

"I think so," I affirmed.

"You don't hate me, do you?" he said quietly, finally looking at me, and I looked back at him incredulously.

"Hate you? Why would I _hate _you?" I asked, baffled.

"Well, I mean, it's not every day you find out one of your friends is a…monster," he muttered, shooting nervous looks at the gaggle of first years to our left. My eyes softened with pity.

"You're not a monster," I said softly, but he shook his head sadly.

"Yes, I am. Literally,"

"You're not to me. I don't think of you any differently," I said firmly. This was a lie, of course, but I didn't want to make him to feel any worse than he already did. It wasn't as if I would _treat _him differently. He looked at me for a moment then smiled.

"Thanks," he mumbled, and I grinned back.

"Of course. You're my friend, Remus, just because you happen to be a…you know," I said, not wanting anyone to overhear, "Doesn't change the fact that I care about you. You worry too much," I grinned and nudged him slightly with my elbow. The smile was immediately wiped off my face when he winced, "Shit, oh shit, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," I said hastily, holding my hands up, unsure what to do.

"Don't worry about it," he laughed, and I let out a relieved breath. He elbowed me softly in the ribs and I giggled, but his face grew serious again moments later, "Do you have any _questions _or something? I know how weird it must be to get that kind of information out of nowhere,"

"No," I said after a moment of hesitation, "No, I think they clarified everything,"

"Good,"

"Are you ok?" I asked, finally thinking of a question I wanted answered

"Truthfully, not so much. The days after are always painful, but I get through. As for the whole situation itself, it's no fun, but there's nothing I can do about it. At least I have the guys to help,"

"You know, you have some incredible friends. They really love you, I can tell," I said reassuringly, and he smiled softly.

"Yeah, that I do," he chuckled, "Not everyone's lucky enough to have friends who are willing to break a bunch of laws for them,"

We laughed at this, then trailed off into silence and looked ahead at the rest of the group, who were now settling themselves under a large tree near the lake. It really was an exceptionally nice day; I could feel the sun beating down on the top of my head, and there was a lack of the usual cold breeze. We joined our friends, sitting down on the warm grass. I leaned back against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes, basking in the sunlight, enjoying the company of my fellow Gryffindors, and, miraculously, feeling uncharacteristically relaxed.

* * *

Two weeks passed without a word from Sirius about the prank. Any time that we were together, he didn't mention it at all, and I didn't want to ask. Part of me hoped that he had completely abandoned the idea and we wouldn't have to go through with it, which was probably the best solution.

I was really starting to believe the whole plan was off, and was feeling a confusing mixture of relief and disappointment, when Sirius finally brought it up again. I was sitting on the couch in the common room one Saturday evening, working on my Transfiguration homework with Lily, when I heard someone come up behind me.

"Ready for our tutoring session, Charlotte?" Sirius said loudly.

"Our what?" I turned around and asked without thinking, but quickly remembered what was going on when I saw the expression on his face, "Oh, right, yeah, of course," I stuttered, startled. I could feel Lily looking at me, but I avoided turning towards her.

"Off we go then," he said with a pointed look, and I stood up immediately, closing my textbook and shoving it into my bag hastily.

"Right, let's go," I said, and finally looked at Lily, who, to my relief, was looking bored with the situation.

"Have fun," she said, still scribbling the answers to our homework questions on her parchment.

"Bye," I blurted out, then hurried after Sirius, who was already halfway across the room, heading towards the portrait hole, "What are we doing?" I hissed once I caught up with him, and he glanced at me momentarily and grinned.

"Going to the Owlery,"

"Why?"

"To send word to the Slytherins, of course,"

"Already?" I squeaked, almost stopping dead in my tracks.

"It's already been a fortnight, how much longer can we wait?" he said impatiently.

"At least let me see the letter," I bargained, and he pulled a rolled-up piece of parchment out of his pocket, handing it to me. I opened it and scanned over the note, which was unsigned:

_Fourth floor, left wing, three doors to the right of the mirror. Be there Sunday at 9 PM. Don't be caught._

"I don't recognize the handwriting, whose is it?" I asked, rolling the note back up and handing it back to him.

"I bewitched a quill to write by itself," he shrugged, "I didn't want to risk any chance of the letters being traced back to me,"

"Letters?"

"One for Avery and one for Mulciber. I don't want my brother involved," he said bitterly, "And Snivellus is too clever,"

"Oh," I said, than realized something, actually stopping this time and almost colliding with a second-year who was hustling in the opposite direction, "Wait. This is happening _Sunday? _As in _tomorrow_?"

"Yeah," Sirius smiled again and opening the door to the West Tower, where the Owlery was located. We trudged up the spiral stairs until we came to a wide arch. I shriveled my nose as I always did when I entered; I had been sending letters from the same room for years, but still had never gotten used to the putrid scent of owl droppings. I also shivered slightly from the draft coming in through the glassless windows.

"Shouldn't you have asked me if I was ok with the date before setting it yourself?" I asked bitterly, crossing my arms and rubbing my own shoulders to try and stay warm.

"Why wouldn't you be?" he said brightly, coaxing one of the school's barn owls down from its ledge.

"I…I dunno, I could've had plans or something," I struggled for a reasonable answer.

"At nine in the evening on a Sunday?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, as he tied the two pieces of parchment to the leg of a large, tawny owl. I flushed, embarrassed.

"You never know," I sniffed, and he smiled at me.

"Well, if you do have plans, cancel them. This is happening tomorrow night and I'd rather not do it alone,"

"Sirius," I began, but stopped, unsure what to say.

"Avery and Mulciber. They're Slytherins. I'm sure you can figure it out," Sirius said to the owl, and I wondered briefly how owls got delivered to the Slytherin common room, which was located in the dungeons, but shook my head, clearing the distraction from my head.

"Sirius," I repeated, more firmly this time, and watched as he let the owl go. It swooped through the air and rounded the corner, disappearing from sight.

"What?" he asked, turning back to me and wiping his hands on his robes. I shuffled nervously, and for a moment the only sound in the room was the hooting of hundreds of owls and the crunch of the straw and tiny animal bones beneath my feet.

"I'm scared," I said finally. My voice was so quiet it was barely audible. His expression changed, and he stepped closer.

"Me too, you know I am," he whispered back, "But we can do it,"

"Of course we _can_," I nodded, "I just don't think it's going to be very enjoyable,"

"Oh, I think you're wrong," he grinned, "I think it's going to be very fun,"

I looked at him anxiously, but my attention was shifted to the doorway when a floorboard squeaked. Elizabeth Clark, a pretty Ravenclaw fifth year and Sirius' latest fling, as far as I knew, was standing there, staring at us with an interested and slightly envious look on her face.

"Hello," she said cheerily, though whether her happiness was faked or not, I didn't know.

"Hello, Elizabeth," Sirius said awkwardly, clearing his throat, "We were just leaving,"

"Hmm," was all she said in response, and we squeezed past her. She didn't move from where she was standing, and I noticed she was clutching a letter in her hand, a little too tightly.

"What was that all about?" I asked curiously when we reached the bottom of the stairs, momentarily distracted from the prospect of what we were going to do the next day.

"Oh, erm," Sirius mumbled, flustered, "I may have lied and told Elizabeth I couldn't see her anymore because I was seeing someone else,"

"And why would you do that?"

"In all honesty…she's a bit of a nightmare,"

"She seems perfectly nice," I said, with a bit of a sick satisfaction.

"Yeah, well, I thought so too at first. Anyway, the thing is, this all happened this morning and since this is the first time I've seen her since then…" he trailed off.

"She thinks that 'someone else' is me," I finished for him, catching on onto what he was trying to say.

"Yeah," he nodded, and smiled apologetically, "Sorry, I hope you don't mind too much,"

_If you only knew, _I thought, but smiled at him sweetly.

"I'm sure I can handle it," I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as I could. The look on Elizabeth's face came back into my mind, though my imagination probably made her look more jealous than she actually was. Still, it was nice to have a glimpse from the other side; normally I was the one shooting envious glares, not the other way around. The part of me that didn't want to be another one of Sirius' flings shriveled up and disappeared; it felt really nice and…powerful when a stranger thought I was seeing him. It was a completely different reaction than when it was one of my friends that thought something was going on between the two of us; for some reason, Elizabeth's envy meant something completely different, even though she was ill-informed. I could just imagine all the looks I would get if Sirius and I were to traipse through the corridors, hand in hand.

Not to mention the fact that, if all said was actually true, that would mean the best.

It would mean that Sirius Black was mine.

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, I basically obsessively check my email for new ones twenty times a day and each one makes me super excited. Please continue to review, and also, if you haven't already, please do. They mean the world to me! :)**

**Also, if any of you also follow my other story, you'll see this twice, but not all of you do, so it's necessary to say this here as well. I unfortunately might not be able to update at all for the next two weeks. Next week I'll be visiting family, and the week after that I'll be on vacation. I'll try to find time to write, but I'm not making any promises because there's a strong chance I won't be able to. I'm really sorry! Please don't hate me!**


	11. Stun

The next day dragged by so slowly; even my thoughts seemed to be lagging compared to how they normally were.

The only thing I could think about was the unavoidable situation I was going to have to put myself in at nine o'clock that evening. I reckoned my brain was trying to slow down time on purpose, to give me a better chance of convincing myself nothing would go wrong. It didn't seem to be working; the moment I had woken up, before I had even managed to open my eyes completely, a feeling of overbearing panic had washed over me. I had considered staying in bed all day, feigning sickness, but the thought of Sirius going alone and the image of his face if I never showed up made me feel even worse. I had reluctantly gotten up when Lily announced it was time to get ready and go to breakfast, and trailed behind the rest of the group, moving my feet as slowly as possible. The guys had joined us, as well; Sirius had winked at me, and my stomach swooshed, though not for the normal reasons. His excited grin made me feel nauseous, and I avoided looking at him from then on.

The only momentary distraction from the anxiety rising in my body and clenching at my throat was walking past Elizabeth Clark on the way to the Great Hall. Sirius had been walking next to me, and the look she gave us was enough to make me forget about my nerves for a second; the only feeling I could possibly possess at that moment was pure satisfaction. I smirked at her before I even knew what I was doing, and her jaw stiffened before she turned to her friend and whispered something. The two had quickly walked away, chins held high, and I stared triumphantly at the back of their heads before a voice in the back of my head reminded me of my predicament. The prideful swelling in my chest died down, and the trepidation again took its place. It was ironic; in trying to help Sirius with his fear, I was causing myself fear as well.

We gathered around the Gryffindor table for breakfast, and I clenched my teeth as Sirius sat down in the empty seat next to me. Any other day, my hormones would have been going haywire, but this particular day, I wished he would get up and sit somewhere else, preferably at the other end of the long table. Isabelle was looking at us through narrowed eyes, and when she opened her mouth to speak, I knew I wouldn't be happy with anything she had to say at the moment.

"How's that tutoring coming along?" she asked, and I struggled to keep my face straight.

"Perfectly fine," I said, grabbing an apple and biting into it, "Mmm, apples are juicy today," I said stupidly through a mouthful of fruit, and winced. Apples are juicy? Who _says _that?

"Great, great," Isabelle nodded slowly, but I could tell from the look on her face that she wasn't quite done, "You know, Scarlett and I were in the bathroom last night and we heard something interesting,"

"Oh, yeah? What was that?" I asked, trying to sound innocently interested, though I had a pretty good idea of what was coming next.

"Elizabeth Clark came bursting in with a bunch of others Ravenclaw, in tears for that matter, saying she had seen you and Sirius getting cozy in the Owlery," Scarlett, who had been listening to the entire conversation, chimed in, staring at me accusingly. To my surprise, Sirius burst out into his bark-like laughter. I looked around at him, bewildered at his reaction.

"Getting cozy? Is that a direct quote?" he chuckled, and Scarlett and Isabelle eyed him just as incredulously, "I can assure you we were doing no such thing,"

"Then why…?" Isabelle began, but Sirius didn't let her finish her question.

"I told Elizabeth I couldn't see her anymore because I was interested in someone else, though the real reason was just that she was getting on my nerves," he said calmly, piling bacon on his toast, "And she just happened to run into Charlotte and me the same day. We can't be blamed for any inaccurate assumptions she made,"

"What were you two doing in the Owlery in the first place?" Scarlett asked, still not thoroughly convinced.

"What's it to you?" Sirius asked, looking at her curiously. I wondered briefly if he was really so thick as to not notice how much she was constantly fawning over him and how jealous she became whenever there was another girl involved. I hoped he was; if he didn't notice it with her that would mean he didn't notice it with me either, "I had just asked her to come with me so I could mail a letter before we went to the library for our tutoring session,"

I had been sitting there silently the entire time Sirius was speaking, but Scarlett and Isabelle now shifted their gazes over to me, seemingly waiting for me to confirm everything he had said; I nodded once. Sirius was simply trying to convince them that we weren't "getting cozy", which was true; whatever reasoning he came up with was fine, as long as they knew that much. The satisfaction I had gotten from the look on Elizabeth's face was forgotten as I looked at my friends; I was instead filled with a mixture of guilt and a bit of irritation. Would they all, with the exception of Lily, hate me if Sirius and I really ever did get together? It wasn't as if I would have done anything _wrong_; I was allowed to like whoever I wanted to like. Their suspicions, and my thoughts, were pointless anyway. Sirius was so quick to deny there was anything going on between us, which only led me to believe that there never would be.

The two of them finally seemed to believe what we were saying, and delved into excited conversation about some band from America that was coming to London on tour during the Christmas holidays. I made appreciative commentary every once in a while, but my mind was elsewhere. My thoughts were a bit too preoccupied with images of Slytherins and boggarts to focus on a rock band.

"What do you say, Charlotte? Want us to order you a ticket, too?" Mary was asking, and I blinked a couple times.

"What?" I asked, completely unaware of what was going on.

"To the concert. A ticket. 10 Galleons. Do you want one? We're all going," she said, motioning towards the rest of the group, who were all looking at me expectantly. I hadn't even noticed they had all joined into the conversation, or that they had been making plans to attend the concert.

"Oh, yeah, sure, okay," I mumbled, and they all grinned at me.

"Fantastic," Lily smiled, and scribbled something onto a piece of paper she had ripped out of the Daily Prophet, "Do you have the money on you now?" I rummaged through my bag and pulled out ten golden coins, handing them to her. She put them in an already bulging pouch, and attached that and the parchment to the leg of an owl, "Back to the common room then, I reckon," she said, after we all watched the owl fly away through an open window. We stood up and started to make our way out the door.

"Concert should be fun," Sirius said from behind me, and I jumped slightly, unaware that he had been standing there.

"Er, yeah, should be," I repeated, and he started at me with a searching look in his eyes.

"You're really nervous, aren't you?" he whispered finally, and I nodded.

"Don't worry, it'll go great," he said with a reassuring smile, and I attempted to smile back, but I could feel my lips trembling, "Just meet me in that one empty classroom at quarter to nine, alright? You know the one,"

I nodded again, and he clapped me on the shoulder before bounding ahead to join James, Remus and Peter, who were still talking animatedly about the concert. My heart sank; I was even more nervous than before.

* * *

I hesitantly knocked on the door of the classroom a minute early. Sirius had disappeared from the common room ten minutes earlier, so I reckoned he was already waiting for me. Sure enough, his voice came from the crack in the doorway, quiet and suspicious.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Charlotte," I whispered, and noticed with a pang that my voice was shaking. The door opened and Sirius pulled me in, closing the door behind me and leaning against it so no one else could walk in.

"Great, right on time. I knew I could count on you," he smiled, and I didn't even attempt to smile back that time. I just stared at him, blinking slowly, waiting for him to say something else. His smile faltered slightly, and he pulled the Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map out of his pocket, "I've got what he need. Have you been practicing your nonverbal spellwork?" he asked, and I froze. I hadn't even thought about practicing, and I felt another surge of panic when I thought about what would happen if I couldn't get the spell to work. He seemed to notice the expression on my face, because he added, quietly, "Don't worry. If you can't do it, I will. We should probably get going; we want to make sure we get there before they do,"

"Alright," I spoke finally, and he motioned for me to step closer. I took a couple tentative steps, and he laughed.

"We both won't fit under the cloak if you're standing so far away from me," he grinned, "I can't be _that_ repulsive to you," I smiled feebly. It was probably a good thing that he thought I didn't want to be next to him; he didn't seem to suspect at all the feelings I got when I was around him. I moved even closer until our shoulders were brushing, and he threw the cloak over us. I stiffened; it was one thing being so close to him, but it was another thing entirely when there was a constricting cloak surrounding us, rendering me escapeless. I could feel my heartbeat in every inch of my body, and was certain he could feel it as well from where our arms were connected. All I could smell was his musky scent, and the warmth reverberating off his body made the air suddenly much harder to breathe. I pursed my lips, resolving to breathe only out of my nose, but that just made his scent even stronger, and I was quickly becoming light-headed. He mistook my strange behavior as fear of the situation, and turned his head marginally to the side to look at me, "Don't be scared, Charlotte, it'll be fun, you'll see," he said quietly, and opened the door, leading me out into the hallway. He stared down at the map in his hand, tapped it with his wand, and whispered "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," before placing his wand back into his pocket. He held the map close, his eyes scanning over it, "Nobody's coming, and the Slytherins are still in the common room. We can go,"

"Let's go then," I whispered, my voice strained, and he held the map in front of us before beginning to lead the way to the fourth floor. We had only walked a couple steps when he grabbed my hand suddenly, pulling me to the side. He flattened himself against the wall, and I followed suit, though I barely registered what I was doing. All I could concentrate on was the fact that his fingers were wrapped around mine and he wasn't letting go. He motioned with our intertwined hands to the map, and I peered closely, noticing a dot labeled "Argus Filch" moving towards us. The irritating caretaker had come to Hogwarts in our third year, and had been making students' lives hell ever since. He had a kind of vendetta against the Marauders, who wreaked more havoc than most, and I wasn't surprised that Sirius had wanted to stay out of his way. I was surprised, however, that he had found it necessary to grasp my hand first. We waited until Filch had clambered his way down the corridor, muttering incomprehensibly under his breath, before we continued on our way.

"Stay close," Sirius whispered as we crept down a set of stairs, our hands still clasped together. I was painfully aware of my palm growing clammy, but took the fact that he didn't drop it in disgust as a good sign. He even squeezed my fingers reassuringly when I let out an audible gasp after a group of chattering seventh years emerged out of a doorway we had just passed, narrowly missing trampling on the end of the cloak and exposing us. The squeeze only made my heart race even faster instead of having the opposite effect. I let out a relieved sigh when we finally made it to the classroom we had told the Slytherins to come to. We entered quietly; the room was dim and completely empty except for the wardrobe pushed against the wall, which was rattling ominously. We stood in the corner opposite from the wardrobe, where we had a clear view of both it and the doorway. To my disappointment, Sirius finally untangled his fingers from mine; my hand felt frozen after so many long minutes of his touch. He pulled out his wand and muttered an incantation under his breath, so that all the torches on the wall lit up simultaneously, basking the room in a somewhat eerie glow.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now we wait," Sirius replied, staring down at the map in his hand. There were only five minutes left until the clock struck nine, and the Slytherins were still situated in the dungeons, their corresponding dots only moving slightly around their common room. We stood there for a few moments, our breathing, amplified by the otherwise silent classroom, the only discernible sound apart from the occasional rattling of the wardrobe. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Sirius yelped excitedly.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"They're coming!" he said, and pointed to the map, where, sure enough, two dots labeled Avery and Mulciber were walking side by side up the stairs. What seemed like only a few seconds passed before they were on the fourth floor, coming closer and closer to the classroom we had arranged to meet in, "Get ready," he muttered, and I hesitantly raised my wand, pointing it towards the wardrobe, my hand shaking uncontrollably. Sirius seemed to notice, because he wrapped his fingers around my wrist until I stabled myself. His hand lingered for a moment before it dropped; he nodded at me solemnly before grabbing his wand and pointing it towards the wardrobe as well. My heart leapt into my throat as I started to hear voices coming from the corridor outside the doorway.

"The note said to meet here at nine," Avery was saying firmly.

"Are you sure this is the right room?" Mulciber asked, and I noticed, relaxing slightly, that there was a nervous edge to his voice.

"Yes, look, the light is on," Avery replied, his voice louder than ever, and I knew they were standing on the other side of the door.

"Should we do this? We don't even know who the note is from," Mulciber said, and the panicky note in his tone was growing shriller.

"Relax, I told you what I think. Don't act like such a prat once we get in there, you'll ruin everything," Avery hissed, and the doorknob began to turn. Sirius tensed, and I shuffled sideways until I was closer to him. My fear was overtaking my emotions, and I felt safer when our shoulders were pressed up together. The door swung open with a loud creak, and the two Slytherins shuffled in, their wands up and their eyes darting around the room. Avery's gaze swept right over us, concealed in the corner by the Invisibility Cloak, and I flinched even though I knew he couldn't see me. He lowered his wand after a moment's hesitation.

"There's no one in here," Mulciber said stupidly, his wand still raised.

"Shut up, you don't think I can see that?" Avery snapped, and I couldn't help but notice the slightly disappointed tone in his voice. The wardrobe decided to rattle at that moment, and they both whipped their heads around, narrowing their eyes.

"What's in there?" Mulciber asked, hesitantly stepping closer to the source of the noise.

"I don't know," Avery said slowly, hiding behind him and peering at the wardrobe with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation.

"Now," Sirius whispered in my ear, so quietly I barely registered what he had said, but my mind wrapped around his words and I clutched my wand tighter.

_Alohomora, alohomora, alohomora, _I thought as hard as I could, my eyes squeezed shut, and for a terrifying second I thought I hadn't succeeded, but then the unmistakable sound of a wardrobe door snapping open reverberated throughout the room, and I opened my eyes, gazing at the scene in front of me. Sirius gave a tiny shout of triumph, but the Slytherins were too preoccupied to notice the sound.

A giant serpent had slithered out of the wardrobe, landing on the floor with a sickening thud. It stopped in front of Mulciber, who was staring at it with his mouth open and his eyes practically bugging out of his head. The serpent reared its head at him, its long forked tongue flitting in and out of his mouth and its beady eyes staring at him. It slithered even closer, so long that its tail still hadn't emerged from the wardrobe. Mulciber let out a high-pitched yelp and fell onto the floor, crawling backwards quickly and kicking Avery forward in the process. The snake turned to look at him instead, faltered for a moment, then transformed into something I had hoped I would never see in anything other than a textbook. The Inferius was pale white, almost translucent, and gaunt, with all of its bones completely visible. It had pale blue, pupil-less eyes and a sneering grin, and it was on all fours, poised as if to pounce. I couldn't help but gasp in fright, but Avery drowned me out with his guttural scream. He brandished his wand and waved it around frantically, yelling numerous spells, all of which bounced off the boggart, which was left untouched. A shot of bright red light ricocheted off the skeletal figure, coming straight towards us. Neither Sirius nor I had time to react before the Stunning spell hit Sirius in the chest. He crumpled under the cloak, pulling me down to the floor with him. We lay there in an uncomfortable pile, luckily still completely concealed. Before I could revive Sirius, who was slumped on the ground, a bit of drool trickling out of his open mouth, the door burst open and Severus Snape ran in, a frantic look in his eyes and his wand held out in front of him.

"I was wondering what you two were up to and followed you here. I heard weird noises, what the-" he said quickly but cut off, seeing the Inferius in front of Avery and looking from it to the terrified boy with an incredulous look on his face. Neither Avery nor Mulciber dignified him with a response; they both scrambled out the door, yelping in fear and leaving Snape all alone. The situation would have been comical if it wasn't for the fact that I had an unconscious person crushing my left foot. Frozen, I stared as Snape pointed his wand at the boggart. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when the boggart suddenly switched forms. My own mouth dropped when I realized the image in front of me consisted of two of my best friends; Lily and James were standing in front of Snape, leering at him, smirks on their mouths. They were wrapped in each other's arms, and I watched in a mixture of bemusement and horror as they both leaned in towards each other. I was watching Lily and James _snogging_, while Severus Snape stood off to the side, staring at them and snarling.

"No!" he yelled, and began to scream incantations. I didn't hear what they were, as the blood pounding in my ears drowned out his words, but they seemed to work, unlike Avery's, and Lily and James disappeared. The wardrobe door closed and didn't rattle any longer; we were again in a silent room. Snape glared at the spot where the boggart had just been, his face redder than I had ever seen it before. He whipped his cloak around him, turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, slamming the door.

Finally snapping out of my frozen state, I pulled the cloak off, praying no one else would walk in. I turned my wand, which I realized was still pointed towards the wardrobe, towards Sirius, who was still in the same helpless position.

"Ennervate," I whispered, and he stirred slightly, revived. He blinked a few times, then sat up suddenly, looking around the room with his eyebrows furrowed. He glanced on the cloak on the floor and the squished map still in his hand, then finally settled his eyes on me, looking completely bewildered.

"What the _bloody hell _happened?" he exclaimed, but I gaped at him silently in response.

I had no idea what to say.

**A/N: I came back from my aunt's last night, and I won't be leaving for vacation until Sunday, so I'm back for a couple days! Yay! I do have plans tomorrow and I'm babysitting Saturday, but I will **_**definitely **_**upload at least one more chapter before I leave. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews!**

**This is also my favorite chapter I've written so far, yay! Let me know what you think! :)**


	12. Touch

"Well?" Sirius insisted, and I gaped for a few more seconds, my voice having left along with Snape.

"Er, right, well, Avery was trying to fight off the boggart and his Stunning Spell bounced off it and, um, hit you instead, and, er, well you kind of lost consciousness," I stuttered when I was finally able to speak again, but I was fumbling over all my words.

"The git actually cursed me?" he scowled, but broke into a wide grin after a moment's hesitation, "He must've been scared out of his wits, huh?"

"I-I suppose so," I said, trying to force myself to laugh but it came out sounding more like a croak. Sirius looked at me curiously, his happy expression changing and his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Is that all that happened? Where did they go?" he asked, as if reading my mind and realizing I wasn't telling him everything.

"Avery, er, managed to fight the thing off, and then they ran," I lied through my teeth, staring at the floor to avoid his piercing gaze. There was a moment of tense silence, during which I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed he would believe me; I had been so glad to earn his trust and didn't want to lose it so quickly, but something in my gut wouldn't allow me to spill Snape's secret. It might have been the knowledge that the Marauders, particularly Sirius and James, had a history of finding a sick sort of pleasure in harassing the boy. He may have been a greasy, sallow, even _creepy _kind of person, but no one really deserved to be treated the way he had been. I only turned a blind eye to it now that James, hoping to earn Lily's affection, had sworn, with his right hand placed theatrically over his heart, that he would leave Snape alone unless it was completely necessary; previously, I had always taken Lily's side and disapproved of their bullying tactics. Even though most of the time Snape was a complete prat, especially now that he had called his supposed best friend something so unforgivable, I still couldn't help but pity him; I knew if I told Sirius what I had seen, he would immediately tell James and they would find a way to use it to make Snape's life hell. And it would also be inevitable that Lily would find out; she was already undeniably upset about the ruined friendship, and I didn't want to make it any worse for her. But another part of me, the selfish part, had a different reason to keep what I had seen to myself; I felt as if I could relate. If the roles had been reversed and Snape had found out about my feelings for Sirius, I would have died if he told anyone. That was a particular thing I would prefer to keep to myself, especially since Sirius clearly didn't feel the same way I did; just thinking about how awkward things would be around him if he knew made me want to throw up. I reckoned Snape would feel the same way, so I resolved to keep his secret, if only because it reminded me of mine.

"Well, then, he got lucky," Sirius said finally, not a hint of suspicion in his voice, and I felt my entire body relax. He hesitated for a moment, then said softly, "You look a bit shaken, we should head back to the common room,"

"Alright," I agreed, relieved to have avoided an uncomfortable situation in which Sirius perceived I was lying and I had to explain why I was evading the truth.

We stood up, Sirius wiping the drool of his chin with a look of disgust. He relaxed his grip on the Marauder's Map, placing it against the wall to smooth out the crinkles he had made with his clenched fist before peering at it closely.

"Corridor's empty, we can go," he said after a moment of watching the moving dots on the map, most of which were already settled in their dormitories. I looked at the map over his shoulder, glancing at a specific area, and noticed with a pang that Snape was situated in the corner of the Slytherin common room, alone. A brief image of him flashed through my mind, in which sitting in a chair facing the wall and frowning, his thoughts filled with the image of a lip-locked James and Lily. Sirius bent down, grabbed the Invisibility Cloak off the floor, and threw it over us carefully. He motioned towards the door, and I walked with him, my thoughts still elsewhere. We headed down the deserted hallway, and I did notice with slight disappointment that Sirius didn't hold my hand this time. He was unusually silent, and I tore my mind away from what I had witnessed, turning to look at him. He looked as if he was deep in thought, his eyes glazed over.

"What's up?" I whispered, and he jumped slightly, looking around at me with bewilderment.

"I was thinking about what we could do from here," he whispered back, glancing at the map in his hand to make sure there was no one to overhear our conversation, "I don't reckon we can do anything with the Inferius, but I'm sure we can use the snake somehow," he continued, but I noticed his voice was lacking the usual excitement it contained when he was talking about his plans.

"Of course we can," I said softly, though I secretly hoped he wouldn't think of anything and the prank would be abandoned. The last hour had been far too stressful; I couldn't imagine it being much more nerve-wracking, but if anyone could manage to make it so, it would be Sirius.

"Right, right," he agreed half-heartedly, but seemed distracted again. Deciding not to bother him any further, I didn't speak again, and we continued towards the Gryffindor tower in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I stayed as far away from him as I could, the distance restrained by the cloak, but still possible as the cloak was particularly large; the greater the proximity between us, the clearer I was able to think, so I stayed four steps away, the greatest distance I could manage without overstretching the material.

He stopped suddenly in a particularly narrow corridor only a couple turns away from the portrait hole, turning to face me so that I was trapped by him on one side and the wall on the other. He looked at me, his eyes sad.

"I'm sorry, Charlotte," he said quietly, and I stared, surprised.

"Sorry for what?" I asked nervously, taken aback by the expression on his face.

"I kept thinking about the way you looked after you revived me back there, and that made me think about the way you've been acting in general lately, and I realized I've been a bit of an arse," he said slowly, not taking his eyes off of mine.

"I don't understand what you're on about," I shook my head, flushing slightly under his gaze.

"You've been _scared_, Charlotte," he said sadly, "And it was my fault. That wasn't fair of me, I'm sorry," his voice was completely genuine, and I blinked at him, unsure what to say. It was true that I had been scared, but he hadn't forced me into anything; I had agreed, blinded by my irritating affections. He had also mistaken the look on my face earlier as fear, when it was really utter shock after the scene with Snape, which I had kept to myself. Part of him felt bad because of my lie, and that caused a wave of guilt to wash over me, distracting me from the other feelings that were currently possessing me, most of which were giddy and joyful. Sirius really seemed to care about me, even if it was just as a friend, and that meant a lot. I smiled, and he continued to stare at me, confused now.

"It's alright, really, I agreed to do this. Besides, I'm doing it as your friend. It's meant to help _you_. Don't worry about me," I tried to reassure him, my heart soaring at the concern in his eyes, and he nodded, smiling feebly, but he didn't look thoroughly convinced.

"Even so, I think we should postpone this for a while, at least until after break. We could both use some time to relax, I think,"

"That's perfectly fine with me," I agreed, and it was true. The more time, the better. He continued to look at me, the worry in his features still present.

"Thanks for doing this," he whispered, and I nodded, taken aback by the softness in his voice. My heart leapt into my throat.

"Of course. What are friends for?" I squeaked, forcing myself to smile weakly. He gave me an unreadable look, then stopped closer.

"You're a good friend,"

"Thanks," I responded, then added after a moment, "You are, too,"

"Hardly," he chuckled darkly, and I cocked my head to the side.

"Why hardly?"

"Well, you see, I have this thing where I put my friends in positions they don't particularly enjoy. I'm sure you can understand that, considering I'm doing it to you,"

"Sirius, stop it, I said it was alright,"

"Still," he whispered, quieter than ever, and took another step forward. I unconsciously took a tiny step backwards, centimeters from the wall, "I don't want you to hate me, Lottie," I froze, my heart thudding in my chest. _Lottie? _It was a pet-name, something I hadn't been called very often, and it wasn't just that; it was the way he had said it. Softly, almost seductively, though that might have just been my hopeful imagination. He was so close; my senses were overwhelmed. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down my frantic thoughts.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried," I whispered back, forcing myself to look into his dark eyes even though it made me feel dizzy.

"Listen, I wanted-" he began, but stopped suddenly, his eyes widening.

"Wha-?" I started, desperate to hear what he had to say, but he cut me off.

"Shh," he hissed, clapping his hand over my mouth. His fingers were inches away from my lips, which I frantically pursed, struggling to regulate my breathing. This was even worse, and also begrudgingly better, than the time he had placed his hands over my eyes in the library. He stood silently for a couple of moments, seemingly listening for something. I couldn't hear anything, but I reckoned that since his Animagus was a dog, his senses might have been a bit keener than mine. In fact, he had a sort of dog-like presence at that moment, the way all his features were alert and his neck turned slightly towards the end of the corridor. Suddenly, I heard it too; the dull thudding of a pair of boots, "_Filch_," he breathed, and, sure enough, the caretaker rounded the corner at the next moment, humming something under his breath. The hallway was so narrow that he was sure to run straight into us if we didn't immediately move. We may have been invisible, but we were still perfectly solid, and colliding with Filch when we were supposed to be in our tower didn't seem like a very good idea.

Before I even had time to react, Sirius' hand was released from my mouth and he was pushing me into the wall. He had just barely pressed himself against me, flattening our bodies, when Filch walked right past the spot Sirius had been standing in, narrowly missing trodding on the cloak, which was trailing on the floor. I unconsciously gasped, and the caretaker froze, looking around.

"Who's there?" he growled, frantically turning in every direction and squinting his eyes. I stayed perfectly still, holding my breath, which wasn't difficult, considering I had seemingly lost all ability to act like a normal human being when Sirius had grabbed me. I could feel his tense chest pressing against mine and his warm, silent breath was on my skin, which was suddenly covered in goose pimples. His long hair tickled my cheeks, and his large, grey eyes were glued to mine, silently telling me to not make any more noises. His hands were clasped around my arms, holding me in place, but I couldn't have moved if I wanted to; I was completely frozen under his touch. Filch finally gave up after what seemed like several days, stomping away and grumbling about ghosts.

Sirius relaxed, stepping away from me. I stayed against the wall, grateful that I could breathe again but regretful that we couldn't have stayed in that position for a few moments longer.

"We should go, let's not risk that happening again," he whispered, and I silently unstuck myself from the wall, walking beside Sirius with wobbling steps back to the Gryffindor common room. I wondered what he had meant by what he said; did he not want to be almost caught by Filch again, or was he referring to the contact between us? I hoped for the prior, but my pessimism told me it was both. Neither of us spoke again; I had no idea what he was thinking about, but all my thoughts were consumed by how fantastic it had felt when there was absolutely no distance between us. Being far apart seemed silly now; if I could have my way, I would've jumped into his arms and had him carry me to the portrait hole. I had to painfully convince myself that that would be ludicrous, and that what had happened would most likely never happen again.

"Sirius?" I asked tentatively when we were mere metres away from the Fat Lady.

"Hm?" he asked distractedly.

"We have the same problem as before,"

"What?" he looked around at me this time, bewildered.

"Getting in without anyone noticing," I explained, pointing in the direction of the common room.

"Oh, right," he sighed, "Let's just go for it and see what happens,"

I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but I followed closely behind as he whispered the password and the portrait swung open, revealing a particularly crowded common room for that time of night, considering we had lessons the next day. I almost groaned; it was just my luck. A couple heads turned to look as the entrance to the common room was opened after hours, but, of course, they could see no one, as Sirius and I were still concealed by the cloak. A few people stared for a few moments, confused, but they all eventually turned away, shrugging and rejoining their conversations. Only James, who was near the fire with the rest of our friends as always, continued to look in our direction with his eyebrows furrowed. Considering the fact that it was his cloak, I presumed he knew that Sirius was under it, but I hoped he didn't know about me. Sirius didn't look at him, or at anyone for that matter, but calmly continued towards the stairs that led to the dormitories.

"Think you can make it up without anyone noticing?" he whispered, crouching at the bottom of the girls' set of steps. I had to crouch as well for both of us to remain under the cloak, and I cast a quick glance at James, who had looked away and was now discussing something with the others, none of which were looking in our direction.

"I suppose so,"

"Good, then go," he nodded, and I lifted the edge of the cloak, crawling out from underneath it and onto the stairs. I had only managed to slide myself up two steps, staying close to the ground so anyone who happened to look up wouldn't see me, when I heard Sirius whisper again, "Charlotte,"

I noticed with a pang of disappointment that he hadn't called me Lottie this time, but I turned my head anyway, peering down at the foot of the stairs. It was a strange sensation, knowing he was there but being unable to see him. He seemed to guess what I was thinking, and he lifted the cloak slightly, peeking out.

"Goodnight," he whispered, and I smiled.

"Goodnight, Sirius,"

**A/N: This one was a bit short, sorry! Hopefully you were still able to enjoy it, ha.**

**Well, I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow morning and I'll be gone for a week, so I unfortunately won't be able to post during that time. I'm sorry. :(**

**Don't miss me too much! (I'm totally kidding!)**

**Please review! For real! **

**Thanks for reading. :)**


	13. Gift

The rest of the semester sped by, as I spent practically every hour of each day either doing the pile of homework assigned by all my teachers or studying for the exams coming closer with frightening speed.

Sirius and I barely spoke. His decision to postpone the prank left us with little to talk about, and there was also the fact that we were never alone. Every time it was just the two of us by the fire in the common room, I hardly had time to open my mouth to speak before someone else came bounding in, chattering away loudly and capturing both mine and Sirius' attention.

It was probably for the best anyway, as being within even ten metres of him had begun to make me more nervous than I had ever been before. My palms got sweaty and my throat dried up, all my thoughts concentrated on the scene in the corridor. Every time he was close, my whole body tensed, as if expecting him to press up against me again.

It was still upsetting to drift away from him, though, and go back to where we had been before the idea of the plan ever existed. All I could ever think about was the feeling of Sirius' body against mine, and how badly I wished it would happen again; I felt a pang of pain each time I told myself it wouldn't. I also thought a lot about Snape, something I never thought I would be able to say, and felt guilty each time I spoke to Lily, feeling as if I was hiding something important from her.

I was relieved to go home for the holidays and escape from everyone and everything; Christmas came and went, as did my birthday. Because I was born on December 26, I had always spent my birthday quietly at home with my family, and this year was no different. It had, however, been a bit special since it was my coming of age; my parents had bought me a golden silver watch, with the phases of the moon, encrusted with miniscule diamonds, circling the face. I had also used magic in every possible situation, just because I could, until my mother finally snapped when I Summoned a knife during dinner and narrowly missed slicing my father's ear off.

I spent the night in my room rereading, for the thirtieth time, the note that had come with Sirius' unexpected present on Christmas morning.

_Charlotte –_

_Happy Christmas! And happy early birthday! I got you a present as my way of saying Happy Birthmas. _

_Wow, excuse the joke. That was horrible._

_You can also think of the gift as a thank you. I can't say it enough. _

_You're the best. _

_Best wishes,_

_Padfoot_

I could mouth the words as my eyes moved down the parchment, having memorized the letter somewhere between the tenth and fifteenth times I'd read it. I absent-mindedly fingered the pendant around my neck, the cool metal refreshing against my suddenly warm skin.

The present had been a huge surprise, hidden amongst the other gifts I had received. I had opened it with shaking fingers, recognizing the handwriting as Sirius', and let out an audible gasp when I finally managed to rip all the wrapping paper off. It was a glistening silver necklace, with a charm on the end of the chain that I didn't recognize at first, but realized, with a giggle, that it was in the shape of a large dog, strikingly similar to one that I happened to know personally.

There was also a gift and note from James. The note read:

_Happy Christmas and birthday, Charlotte! _

_Since Padfoot lives with me and he was sending you a present, I reckoned it would be terrible of me not to send one, too. _

_Lily told me what you might like. _

_Have a good one!_

_Prongs_

Attached was a new book of poetry by one of my favorite poets; I was bemused by it, surprised that James and Lily had a conversation that didn't involve arguing, about _me_ of all things.

My parents had noticed the extra amount of gifts and questioned me. When I showed them what I received and told them who the presents were from, they smiled at the poetry book, but hesitated at the necklace, raising their eyebrows at me.

"Who is this Sirius fellow?" my mother had asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"A friend of mine," I replied innocently.

"A _boy_friend?" my father barked, his voice uncharacteristically gruff.

"What? No, not at all, he's just a friend, really," I stammered, flushing pink. There was a moment of silence.

"Well, alright then, if you're sure. It's just the type of present that, you know…" my mother trailed off, apparently presuming I knew what she was referring to.

"Why a _dog_?" my older sister, Julie, asked, not allowing me a chance to respond and turning her nose up slightly.

"Inside joke," I replied, but I was still distracted by what my mother had said. Her words were still ringing in my head the next day, and I sat on my bed, clutching Sirius' note in my hands, wondering if she was right. Was it strange for a boy to send a girl a piece of jewelry as a gift if they were only friends? My heart rate quickened at the prospect of Sirius trying to say something more than just what his letter said with the gesture, but I tried not to let myself get too excited. If anyone could completely disregard stereotypes, it would be him.

I nervously wondered if he had received my gift, and whether or not he liked it. I had felt bad that I hadn't gotten anything for Sirius and James, since they had bought me presents, and had immediately flipped through a quick-order catalog, trying to find something they would like. James was easy; I just got him a new scarf. His favorite Quidditch team's logo was emblazoned on it, and I was certain he would appreciate it.

Sirius, however, was much more difficult. I had scanned each page of the catalog three times, trying to find something that would come anything close to matching up with what he had bought for me. I found something wrong with each thing I considered; it had to be perfect. Finally, on a page that embarrassingly read "Gifts for Him", I came across a leather bracelet with a thin metal band that could be customized with any message. It took a bit of thinking, as I wanted the message to be personal and to represent one of the secrets that Sirius and I shared, just like his gift did.

I finally decided on "Mischief Managed", the quote used to clear the Marauder's Map when one was finished with it. Not only did Sirius and I use the map together, but the words also referred to our prank. We had already achieved some mischief, with the Slytherins and the boggart, and, if everything went to plan, there would be more after break.

It was corny and a bit dumb, but I couldn't think of anything better. I made the order quickly, before I could change my mind; as soon as an owl arrived with the purchases, I wrapped the gifts and attached hastily scribbled notes of thanks and good wishes. I didn't start to feel regret and anxiety until the owl disappeared from view; there was no turning back.

I was still situated in my room, praying that Sirius wouldn't hate the present, when my mother's voice called from downstairs, drifting in through the open door.

"Charlotte! There's someone on the phone for you!" she yelled, and I jumped up, confused. We only had a phone because my mother was unable to use magic and needed it for communication; my friends and I only ever corresponded with owls. I ran down the stairs and nervously took the telephone from her hand, placing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said a bit shakily.

"Charlotte! Happy birthday!" Lily exclaimed in her unmistakable voice, and I relaxed. It would make sense that she had a phone, considering the fact that she was Muggle-born. I vaguely remembered giving her my number in our first year, but she had never actually called.

"Thank you!" I smiled, though she couldn't see me.

"You're welcome, but that's not why I called, specifically,"

"Oh?" I asked, surprised.

"No, I wanted to tell you the plan for the thirtieth. I could've sent an owl, but I reckoned this would be easier," she said, and I opened my mouth to speak, but she continued, "Scarlett lives the closest, so we're all meeting at her house by Floo. Her dad's got a car; he'll drive us to the Leaky Cauldron. We can walk from there,"

"Right," I said slowly, "What is this for, exactly?" I asked, a bit bewildered. Lily didn't say anything for a moment.

"The concert, Charlotte. Remember? I ordered a ticket for you," she urged finally, and something clicked. I remembered the conversation in the Great Hall the day of the boggart incident, where I had agreed to go without really knowing what I was agreeing to.

"Oh!" I exclaimed, and she laughed.

"I'm glad you remembered. Now, we set up specific times for each of us to arrive so we don't get all tangled up in the fireplace. You're…" she trailed off, and I presumed she was looking over notes that she had made, as she was ridiculously organized and took notes for practically everything, "Ah, you're set to go at 6:04,"

"Right," I said again, then realized something, "What am I supposed to say? I don't know where Scarlett lives,"

"Just say 'the Moore residence' or something like that, it'll get you there," she chirped brightly, clearly excited, "Listen, I have to go. I'll see you in a few days, ok?"

"Alright. I'll see you," I responded, and there was a clicking noise, signifying that she had hung up. I placed the phone back on the kitchen counter, then put my head in my hands and groaned.

I didn't want to go to the concert. Especially since it meant seeing Sirius earlier than I was prepared to.

* * *

The clock above the fireplace read 6:03, and I nervously adjusted the chain on my necklace. I debated not wearing it, but thought it might hurt Sirius' feelings, so I kept it on. I had acquired a fidgety habit of playing with it when I was anxious.

"You're ready to go, are ya?" my father asked, his voice just as gruff as it had been when he was questioning me about Sirius' gift, from his perch in an armchair. He was reclining but his body was stiff and he was staring at me.

"Yes," I mumbled, watching as the minute hand clicked closer to the four minute mark.

"Just be careful, alright? Make good choices," he said, his tone suddenly softer. I looked around at him and tried to smile reassuringly.

"I will be, don't worry," I told him, though I was worried myself, for different reasons. From the expression on his face, I knew he could sense my anxiety, and I quickly looked away. The clock ticked, and now read 6:04. I bade farewell to my father, who waved, concern still on his face, then grabbed a handful of Floo powder. I threw it into the flames, yelled "the Moore residence", and stepped into the hearth as the fire turned emerald green.

A couple moments later, I shot out of the fireplace in a home I had never been in before. Scarlett, Lily, and Mary, who were seated on a yellow couch and poring over the tickets in their hands, all looked up at me and squealed. They jumped up, embracing me; each of them was bouncing on her feet, looking flushed and excited. I tried to sound as ecstatic as they did as they chattered happily about our plans, but my tone of voice was forced. Thankfully, they were so preoccupied in their conversation that they didn't seem to notice. The last thing I wanted was to have to explain why I wasn't as happy as they were.

"We're just waiting on Isabelle," Scarlett told me, and as soon as she was finished speaking, the flames glowed green again, and Isabelle came scampering out, a wide grin on her face.

"What about the guys?" Mary asked after Isabelle received the same enthusiastic greeting I had gotten, trying to sound nonchalant, but I could tell she was thinking of Sirius in particular.

"We're meeting them at the Leaky Cauldron," Lily responded, then pulled two slips of parchment out of her pocket, "Here, Charlotte, Isabelle, before I forget," she said, handing us both our own ticket. I didn't even bother looking at it and shoved it in my own pocket with trembling fingers.

A man I didn't immediately recognize walked into the room. He was thin, with short, blonde hair and the same shaped eyes as Scarlett, though his were brown and hers were blue. I noticed he was wearing considerably normal-looking slacks and a button-down shirt; I figured he was Muggle-born.

"Hello," he said, extending a hand to me, the closest to the door, "I'm Scarlett's father, William,"

"Charlotte," I said quietly, shaking his hand, and he smiled at me before moving on to introduce himself to the rest of the group. They all became a bit more subdued, now that there was an adult in the room.

"You want to wait for a little while before we go, or shall we just leave now?" he asked his daughter.

"Let's just go," she said quickly, and the other girls nodded, pursing their lips to refrain from giggling excitedly. I stood there, silently wishing we could spend more time in the house; Scarlett's father seemed nice enough, and the idea of sitting and having tea with him seemed a bit uncomfortable but still preferable to how I would feel as soon as Sirius was near. I was clearly outvoted, however, and we were soon piled in the car, whose seats were extended to fit more people than a typical Muggle car would. I had a window seat, and looked out at the bustling London streets, my stomach turning in nervous anticipation. All too quickly, we arrived in front of the infamous Leaky Cauldron pub; seeing it made the whole situation undeniably real, and I felt my heart leap into my throat.

"You lot have fun," Mr. Moore exclaimed as we got out of the car, me in the back of the group. I took my time saying goodbye to him; he seemed to notice my strange behavior and gave me a pitying look. I trailed behind the rest, wondering why both he and my father noticed while my friends had not, not that I minded. We entered the pub, looking around for the Marauders. We finally spotted them in the back of the dim room, seated around a table and laughing loudly at something James was saying excitedly. They spotted us walking towards them, and stood up, the Butterbeer in their mugs splashing onto the floor.

"Our lovely lady friends," James said, bowing and grinning up at us, his eyebrows waggling. He grabbed Lily's hand before she had time to react, kissing it. She recoiled in apparent disgust, though I thought I detected a hint of pleasure in her eyes. I thought again of Snape's boggart, and the guilt momentarily closed my throat.

Searching for a distraction and being unable to resist, I looked around at Sirius. He was leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets, and there was a smirk on his lips. He caught me looking, and smiled brightly. I briefly and crazily considered walking up to him and pinning him against the wall as he had done to me, but the thought disappeared quickly; blushing, I looked away. My heart was already thudding far too quickly for my liking.

"Shall we go then?" Remus asked, gesturing towards the door that led to the entrance to Diagon Alley, and we followed him. There was a steady stream of comfortable conversation between my friends and, determined not to look at Sirius again, I spoke loudly to Mary and Lily, who were walking on either side of me.

"My sister's awfully jealous that I'm going to this concert," I told them, not quite sure why, "She would have come as well, but she has work,"

"Oh, how I miss old Julie," Sirius spoke up from behind me, and, already breaking my resolve, I turned to stare at him, confused. I didn't remember my sister, who was three years older than us, and Sirius ever even exchanging pleasantries, let alone being close enough for Sirius to _miss_ her.

"Why?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, and he smiled mischievously; I felt my hands go clammy.

"Well, she was right fit, wasn't she?" James spoke up from Sirius' side, and they grinned at each other. I resisted the urge to scowl; my sister had always been considered the more attractive of the two of us. Though I was admittedly sad when she left Hogwarts, as was expected when siblings were separated, part of me had also been relieved that I wouldn't have to live under her shadow anymore. I felt a gut-wrenching pang of disappointment at the fact that Sirius had been one to fall into her doe-eyed trap. Even my _sister _earned his affection, and I couldn't.

"She had _huge _knockers," Peter spoke up, and everyone, even me, laughed, surprised at the words coming out of the small, nervous boy's mouth. He grinned, apparently pleased that he had done something amusing.

"That she did," Sirius said dreamily, and I didn't bother to suppress my frown this time. All the reasons I had ever disliked him came rushing back into my mind, words along the line of "pig" appearing in my thoughts.

"You know, you look a lot like her now," Remus said to me, and I stared; there was no trace of dishonesty on his face. I smiled at him appreciatively, appreciating the comparison; I had noticed that the differences between us got less noticeable as I got older, but didn't think anyone else had.

"He's right, you do," Sirius agreed, and I felt even more pleased, the dislike disappearing again. "Pig" was replaced with "sweet"; my poor brain was going through confusing changes far too quickly. If Sirius thought my sister was fit, and also thought we looked alike…did that mean he thought _I _was fit? The idea brightened my mood considerably.

We made it to the far end of Diagon Alley, deeper in than I usually ventured when shopping for school supplies. Music reverberated from a large building on the right side, dulled behind the closed doors. A queue, starting from the door, trailed down the side of the cobbled street behind a red velvet barricade, and we fell in line behind a young witch and wizard, who were holding hands and whispering to each other. I stared at them unconsciously, but tore my gaze away, embarrassed, when someone behind me cleared their throat.

"I like your necklace," Sirius whispered into my ear, and I started, realizing I was again rubbing the charm without thinking.

"Oh," I said, dropping my hand and looking around at him, my eyes wide, "Thank you. For buying it for me, I mean," I stammered. I couldn't feel my face, or any part of my body, for that. I thought with slight panic that I might never be able to move again.

"It was nothing," he waved his hand, but he looked pleased, "Do you like it?" he asked, and I noticed, my heart fluttering rapidly, that he looked suddenly nervous as he anticipated my response.

"Yes, I love it, really," I breathed, and added, slightly quieter, "It's beautiful,"

"I'm glad," he beamed, "I was scared you wouldn't like it,"

"I do," I said quickly, and was working up the nerve to ask what he had thought of my gift when he spoke again.

"Look," he whispered, and stuck his arm out in front of me. I held my breath as he rolled up his sleeve, revealing the bracelet I had bought him around his wrist. He grinned at me and kept his arm up for a few more moments before dropping it and pulling his sleeve back down.

"So you like it?" I asked nervously.

"It's bloody fantastic!" he said happily, "I thought _my _gift was clever, but you beat me out for sure,"

"Really?" I squeaked, and he smirked, amused by the look on my face.

"Really," he said after a moment of silence, his voice surprisingly soft, then yelled theatrically, the tenderness in his tone gone, "I'll wear it _forever!_"

The rest of the group looked around at us curiously, but were distracted from asking any questions as we had moved to the front of the queue and were now being asked for our tickets.

I grinned to myself as I pulled my ticket out of my pocket and presented it to the burly man standing guard, feeling as if the concert I had unwillingly signed for might actually end up being fun.

**A/N: I dunno if I like this chapter much, but it happened and it was somewhat fluffy in parts. Fluff makes me happy.**

**Maybe some of you are surprised to see this, but probably not, considering I'm never gone for as long as I say I'm going to be. I _am _still on vacation, but every minute of free time I have had was spent writing.**

**Everyone else is out doing something fun and I'm sitting in the breakfast room of the hotel by myself, because it's the only place I get WiFi, hahah.**

**But I don't mind, I love this story and your reviews.**

**Speaking of reviews, please do write them. Reviews make me even happier than fluff does. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	14. Rules

James was at the head of the group as we strolled into the large, dimly lit room.

There was loud music blasting out of invisible speakers and an unbelievably large amount of people, half of which were seated at the bar that took up the majority of one wall. The other half, which was made up of mostly girls around our age, were already squeezed against the barrier blocking them from jumping on stage; they were all giggling excitedly, and many of them were covered in glitter and had on shirts decorated with the flashing names of the band members. I was feeling grateful for the fact that my friends hadn't gone to _that _length when James suddenly stopped walking, and I narrowly avoided toppling into Peter, who was directly in front of me.

I peered over his head to see a floating tray of drinks levitating in front of James. He reached out a hand slowly, wrapped his fingers around a mug of what looked like firewhiskey, then quickly drew back and winced, obviously waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, his expression changed into the kind of surprised euphoria one would usually find on a young child's face on Christmas morning.

"There's no age line or anything…this is the best day of my life!" he exclaimed, and took a long swig of the drink in his hand.

"It's the best day of your life because you can get drunk?" Lily scoffed, and James grinned, a couple drops of firewhiskey on his chin.

"And because I get to spend a lovely night with my favorite people," he said sweetly, and Lily shook her head, "The only thing that could make it better, my dear Lily, is if you finally agreed to go out with me,"

"Keep dreaming," Lily laughed, and James only looked deflated for a moment, before taking another gulp of his drink and smiling at her mischievously.

"You'll say yes eventually," he said.

"Why haven't any of you grabbed a drink?" Sirius cut in, and we looked around at him. He had already downed an entire mug and was holding on to the tray to keep it from floating away so he could take another, "Come on, Peter, have a drink with your best mate," he urged after an impressively long swig, his voice already slightly slurred.

Peter didn't think twice before rushing forward and taking a drink from the tray Sirius was still holding on to; I could see the eagerness to please in his eyes before he took a clumsy sip. The rest of us hesitated, but it didn't take long before Remus' sensibility broke and he too took a mug.

"Oi, girls, reckon you'll join in on the fun?" James said, and Sirius let out an uncharacteristic giggle as he tore the mug away from his lips. I didn't take the time to answer; I was too busy gaping at Sirius with a mixture of disgust and fascination.

Isabelle, Scarlett and Mary all shrugged and took a drink as well; I tore my eyes away from Sirius to look at Lily, whose jaw was clenched defiantly.

"I'd rather not, thank you," she said, "I happen to be a _prefect_," she put emphasis on the last word and stared with accusation at Remus, who lowered his mug and looked a bit abashed.

"Leave him alone. We're on break," James whined.

"He can do what he wants, but I'll pass," Lily said, and I felt relieved as James turned on me. I had never gotten drunk before; the only alcohol I had ever had was champagne with my parents on holidays. I told myself I didn't want my first time to be in a room full of strangers, but the real reason was Sirius; if I could barely keep myself under control around him while sober, I shuddered to think what I could possibly attempt when intoxicated.

"I'm with Lily," I said, and she beamed at me appreciatively.

"Good. Some of the men here look like complete creeps. I'd rather be able to have my guard up," she told me, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at a large toothless wizard, who was seated at the bar and watching Isabelle with open-mouthed interest. I turned to look at her and saw, amused, that she was dancing wildly, her hands up in the air and her hips moving with surprising skill. It wasn't possible that she was _that_ drunk already, and I immediately realized what she was trying to do. All my amusement disappeared and was replaced with seething fury; she kept glancing up at Sirius to see if her plot was working, and, considering the fact that he was watching her with the same interest as the old wizard at the bar, it was.

"You ladies want to have a drink with us?" a voice behind me said, distracting me from the anger rising in my throat, and Lily and I looked to see a couple of wizards who looked to be in at least their forties; one was balding considerably and the other had a potbelly that was sticking out from his velvet jacket. Both were eerily close; I could feel their unpleasant breath on my face. Lily eyed them with complete disgust.

"Get lost," she seethed, and they staggered away, grumbling under their breath.

"Well, that was nauseating," I said, trying to keep my eyes off of Isabelle and Sirius but failing miserably. She was dancing closer and closer to him; my only comfort was the jealousy on both Scarlett and Mary's faces.

"I'm not sure if any of you remember, but we're here for a concert," Lily yelled over the music, and all our friends looked around at her, "Charlotte and I just got hit on by men our fathers' age, so if we could step farther away from the bar and closer to the stage, that would be great,"

The authority in her voice kept all of them from arguing, and they followed her into the crowd forming around the front of the room. We squeezed in-between a group of French witches who were telling a couple of fascinated men that they came to London just for the concert and a gaggle of girls with platform shoes and teased hair who were complaining about being so far from the stage.

"The concert is supposed to start at half past six, and that's in five minutes," Scarlett squealed, and I could tell from her droopy eyes that she was already considerably buzzed.

In fact, it seemed that our entire group, minus Lily and me, had already had their fair share of drinks and were swaying slightly on their feet. I noted with satisfaction that Isabelle looked slightly angry, as Lily's command had distracted Sirius from her dancing body, but the satisfaction drained as I looked around for Sirius and realized he was chatting up the group of girls to our right. All of them were looking up at him with dreamy expressions; I hoped my face never looked like that when he was talking to me.

"Are you having fun?" Remus asked suddenly, and I jumped, surprised.

"Oh, yeah, tons," I stuttered unconvincingly.

"You're lying," he said, and tilted his head slightly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied again, and he smiled.

"Just not your kind of thing, is it?" he asked, and I shook my head, "It isn't mine, either," he whispered, and held up his mug, which I realized was still full to the brim.

"You're just pretending to drink it, aren't you?" I asked, and he put a finger to his lips, grinning, "Why?"

"It's just easier. This way they won't bug me about it," he shrugged. I stared at him for a couple of moments.

"Why are you friends with them if they pressure you into things?" I burst out, my anger with Sirius audible in my voice, and his face darkened.

"Why are you?" he retorted, then sighed, "They're great guys who just do certain things I don't necessarily agree with. But they _are_ the best friends I could possibly have," he said firmly.

"I'm sorry. I know they are," I apologized. I was impressed with his quickness to defend his friends, and felt slightly ashamed of myself because of the truth of his words. Sirius was my friend, too; he wasn't doing anything wrong, yet I was angry with him anyway for my own selfish reasons, all because he was doing something I didn't agree with. I should have been able to accept him doing what made him happy, but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't feel anything but resentment as I watched him whisper something into one of the girl's ears.

The music blasting suddenly stopped and a scream filled the room; I turned towards the stage, eager for the distraction. The band was running onto it, and I stifled a giggle at their appearance; each of them had huge hair and was wearing a glittery jumpsuit. The glitter-covered girls in the front row suddenly made more sense.

I realized with surprise that even Lily was whooping, and her eyes were large with excitement as she watched the lead singer step up to the edge of the stage and spread his arms out to the crowd. She tore her gaze away to look at James, who had crept up to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Would you go out with me if I wore an outfit like that?" he asked, and I expected Lily to reprimand him, but instead, she just laughed, not unkindly, and turned her attention back to the stage. James looked pleased.

"We're Basilisk Fang, and we hope you enjoy the show," the drummer was saying, his American accent magnified to spread throughout the room, and they began to play.

I didn't know any one of the songs they performed, but I jumped along with the rest of the crowd. The air in the room was practically tingling and everyone was soon coated in sweat; it would have been impossible to stand still. I could barely hear the singer, as it seemed that every person in the room, besides me, was singing along loudly. Lily's voice was in my ear, and I noted with amusement that she knew every word of every song. I lost myself in the blaring music and was able to forget about everything momentarily, swaying happily and feeling grateful towards my friends for dragging me along.

That is, until a pair of hands grabbed me around the waist. I yelped, my scream lost among the hundreds of others reverberating around the room.

"It's just me, Charlotte," Sirius' wobbling voice whispered in my ear, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. All my judgment was clouded, however, as I felt intoxicated myself just from his touch. His thumbs rubbed my back, and, my breath slowing, I involuntarily fell backwards into him, dancing against his body without even thinking about what I was doing. His hands gripped me tighter, pulling me closer, and we stayed in the same position for two songs, my mind blank except for the bliss of being against Sirius again.

"I didn't know you could dance, Lottie," he slurred, and I felt his cool fingers against my warm skin as he swept my hair over my shoulder. I felt his long hair against my exposed neck and, before I knew what was happening, his lips were on my neck, leaving a soft kiss burning on my skin. I tore away, turning to look at him, which was difficult in the tightly packed group of people.

He blinked at me through narrow eyes, surprised, and staggered on his feet, stepping closer to me again. He reached out, attempting to grab me, but I shrugged out of his hands, my heart beating erratically.

"You have to stop," I forced myself to yell over the loud music.

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"You're drunk, Sirius," I said, and he smiled, his grin large and child-like.

"So?" he laughed, reaching out again, but I took another step back into a large wizard, who didn't seem to notice.

"So I don't want you touching me when you're drunk," I told him, my voice more hostile than I intended, and he scowled, dropping his hands. I was aching to go back to him and let him do whatever he wanted, but my mind was telling me not to; there was no pleasure in what he was doing if he had no idea what was even going on. His blank eyes told me that the firewhiskey had completely taken over his thoughts; I was surprised he had even been able to remember my name. I wasn't about to let myself be his drunken hook up, as much as it pained me to stop him.

"Fine," he hiccupped, and stumbled away into the crowd.

I looked around at my friends, but all of them were too preoccupied with the concert to have noticed anything. I sighed, relieved, then closed my eyes. I felt suddenly ridiculous, standing in the middle of a group of people I didn't know and dancing to songs I had never heard. I placed a hand on my forehead, which felt incredibly hot, and wished I could just go home.

Without bothering to tell anyone where I was going, I pushed my way out of the crowd. I eagerly gulped the fresh air that was suddenly available when I finally made my way out of the sea of people; the hole I had squeezed through closed up as soon as I was gone. My head was pounding and I could barely hear my thoughts over the music, so I looked around for a restroom, planning on spending the rest of the night in a stall by myself.

I finally found a sign pointing me towards my destination, and quickly made my way over to it, desperate to be alone. I was just about to push open the door to the powder room labeled "Ladies" when I noticed two familiar figures walk past me and into the end of the deserted corridor.

Sirius was pulling Isabelle along by her hand and she was giggling uncontrollably, the laughter punctured only by an occasional hiccup. He pushed her against the wall the same way he had done to me in the hallway at school, and I stood, frozen, unable to tear my eyes away. She was saying something I couldn't quite hear, and then he was pressing his lips to hers, the same lips that had been against my neck only a couple minutes ago.

My heart sank past my stomach and seemed to land on the floor at my feet. My throat suddenly burned and I felt my eyes fill with angry tears. I breathed loudly and frantically through my nose, but neither of them noticed; they were snogging ferociously. I stepped back, my thoughts whirling in my mind.

He had just been dancing on me and kissing me and calling me by a pet name only moments prior, and now he was attached to Isabelle so closely it was as if his life depended on it. I didn't understand what he was playing at, and I felt a sickening disappointment in my gut. A wave of nausea passed over me, and I walked backwards to the opposite end of the corridor, unsure what to do. Half of me wanted to go charging at them to tear them apart and maybe rip Isabelle's hair out of her skull, and the other half wanted to go running into the bathroom and cry my eyes out.

Something hit me on the back, and I whirled around. It was the levitating tray carrying full mugs of firewhiskey, and it kept backing up and hitting me over and over again, as if begging me to take a drink off of it and relieve it of its burden. I hesitated, and turned back to look at Sirius and Isabelle. His hands were dangerously low, and feeling a surge of cold fury, I angrily grabbed a mug and downed it in three large gulps. It burned down my throat and into my stomach, and I hastily grabbed another, drowning the contents instantaneously.

The tray refused to move, and soon a third mug was emptied. I dropped it to the floor carelessly; my thoughts were completely blurred, and I was swaying back and forth ominously, barely avoiding hitting my head against the wall.

I steadied myself and, wiping a hand against my mouth, stalked back into the crowd, determined not to let Sirius Black ruin my night.

* * *

I woke the next morning, and everything in my body ached horribly. I groaned and attempted to open my eyes; I blinked a few times, but the bright light streaming in was too much. I lurched, and someone held up a bucket, hitting it against my chin. I threw up in it, tears of pain prickling in the corners of my eyes. My head had never hurt so much in my entire life, and I weakly dropped it back onto the pillow beneath me.

"Where am I?" I groaned.

"Ah, she speaks," my sister's voice spoke up, and, with considerable effort, I opened my eyes a crack and stared up at her. Her amused face visualized, my room coming into view behind her. I realized I was in my own bed, but I could not for the life of me remember how I had gotten there.

"Think you can drink this now? I've been trying to force it into you for the past four hours but you kept falling back asleep," Julie said, holding up a goblet of something.

"What is it?" I croaked.

"Hangover Potion. It's saved my life plenty of times. Just drink it," she urged, and I eagerly opened my mouth. She tipped the contents of the goblet into it, and I swallowed. Within moments, my head was cleared and my body ceased to ache, though it still felt uncharacteristically heavy. I managed to sit up and open my eyes all the way.

"What in Merlin's name happened to me?" I asked, and Julie laughed.

"Two of your friends dragged you through the fireplace at two in the morning. They said you had a bit too much to drink, but I think they might have been underestimating your condition," she explained. I groaned, embarrassed.

"What friends?" I asked.

"Remus Lupin and Sirius Black," she said, and I felt suddenly sick again at the idea of Sirius carrying me back to my house, "Though Lupin did most of the explaining. Black didn't seem like he was fit to say anything,"

"Oh. Great," I breathed, relieved that Sirius had still been out of it.

"You're lucky Mum and Dad were sleeping. They would have killed you on the spot," she grinned, "You owe me,"

"Thank Merlin," I mumbled. The image of my father seeing me drunk out of my wits was enough to scare me into never drinking ever again. Not that I wanted to, anyway; as far as I could remember, the experience wasn't enjoyable in the slightest, though my circumstances were a bit different than others'.

"I reckon you had fun?" Julie asked, "I never thought my little sister would be the type to go out and get herself pissed," I hesitated, briefly considering telling her the truth, but decided against it. I didn't want anyone knowing about my feelings for Sirius, or the way I had reacted when I found him snogging someone else, not even someone in my family.

"Yeah, it was great," I tried to say as brightly as I could.

"I'm glad," she beamed, then stood up, "Go back to sleep now, Mum and Dad will be suspicious if you're up at six in the morning,"

"Alright," I said, gratefully snuggling back into my sheets. I stared up at my sister, who was already halfway to the door, "Thanks, Julie," I said, and she turned, shooting me one last smile before disappearing into the hallway.

* * *

Two days later, I was back at school. My parents hadn't figured out anything, and even the soot on the rug by the fireplace miraculously went unnoticed. I spent a quiet couple last days of break, spending most of the time in bed, feeling sorry for myself and staring at the necklace Sirius had gotten me. I had taken it off in an angry huff, and it sat on my nightstand, seemingly teasing me.

I didn't know if Sirius liked me or not. I doubted anyone could have, not even a genius like Dumbledore. He _had _kissed my neck, but he was completely hammered when he did so, and moved on to snogging Isabelle only moments later, seemingly forgetting anything had even happened between us. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have snogged me instead if I hadn't stopped him, or if that was too strange a concept for even his drunken mind.

I spent those two days _hating _him, trying to convince myself I was done with feeling anything for him, but it was pointless. Images of all the sweet things he had ever said or done came flashing back, and I was reeled back in. My mind was switching back and forth so often I narrowly avoided throwing up again in the confusion.

I considered being done with men forever; they were too confusing. I could live alone like my Aunt Rhonda, who had a large flat she shared with her twenty-three cats and seemed perfectly happy despite the fact that she was forty-five and had never married.

I was surprised to see, on the first day of the second semester, that Isabelle and Sirius were acting exactly the same way they had been before the concert. We were seated at dinner, and they ony spoke to each other in what was clearly a friendly way. I was watching, confused, when Remus spoke.

"How'd it go with your parents after the concert?" he asked, seemingly casual, but I could tell he was a bit disappointed that I had gone and gotten myself drunk after we had agreed it wasn't the type of thing either of us did.

"They never found out," I answered.

"How's that?" Sirius spoke up bitterly, "The Potters were lecturing James and me nonstop. I swear they were still yelling after we got on the train,"

"I have a cool sister," I shrugged, not feeling the least bit sorry for him.

"Lucky you," James huffed, "My parents threatened to take my broomstick away. I had to promise I would do chores every single day over summer break to get them to agree to let me keep it,"

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much next time," Remus laughed.

"Shut up, Moony, you were doing it, too," James hissed, and Remus caught my eye. I grinned at him, and looked up to see Sirius looking between the two of us curiously. I immediately dropped my gaze; I had felt a crazy urge to slap him when our eyes met.

"I'm done," I said suddenly, pushing my plate away, "I'm going to bed," I stood up.

"Already?" Remus asked, and I nodded, feigning a yawn.

"Yeah, I'm super tired," I lied.

"Wait," Sirius said, shoveling the last bites of his food into his mouth, "I'll come with you," he said quickly, standing up and wiping his hands off on his robe.

My stomach twisted, but I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, so I didn't say no. I turned wordlessly and began to walk towards the door; Sirius caught up with me as he came around the other side of the table.

"I want to ask you something," he said, as we walked out in the hallway and up the stairs.

"Hm?" I said, trying to keep the panic off my face. I crossed my fingers in my pockets and prayed silently that he wasn't about to bring up what had happened between the two of us at the concert.

"Are you and…and Remus involved in some way?" he asked, and I stared, disbelieving. His expression was genuine and I laughed loudly, taking him by surprise.

"Absolutely not," I howled, and he blinked at me, his eyes wide, "What makes you think that?"

"Well, you talk to him a lot, and I just thought…" he trailed off as I continued to laugh, more amused by the situation than I should have been. Here I was, pining after Sirius, and he thought I liked _Remus. _

"I talk to you a lot, too," I giggled, and he flushed, embarrassed.

"Alright, sorry, forget I brought it up," he muttered, and I worked up the nerve to ask what I was dying to, though I was afraid of the answer.

"What about you and Isabelle?" I finally said, my voice strained, and his eyes widened again.

"Sorry?" he asked.

"Are you and Isabelle involved?" I repeated, the incredulous look on his face helping to strengthen my voice.

"No!" he said firmly, "Why Isabelle? That was over almost as quickly as it started,"

"It didn't seem like it when you were snogging her face off at the concert," I said, working hard to keep my voice from betraying the hurt I felt when I brought the incident up.

"Was I?" he asked, clearly genuinely surprised, then laughed, "Wow, I don't remember a single thing that happened that night,"

I felt relieved; he didn't seem to have any feelings for Isabelle. But he had kissed her anyway. That told me that what he had done with me didn't mean anything to him either, and I felt crushing disappointment mingling with the happiness that was already there.

"Isabelle doesn't seem to remember it either, if that makes you feel better," I forced myself to say, and he smiled.

"I'm going to get myself in real trouble one of these days,"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Girls are mad when they have _feelings_," he grinned, "And I don't get those,"

"You never have feelings for anyone?" I repeated, surprised.

"Nah, I'm just in it for the physical stuff," he smirked, raising a single eyebrow. I stared silently for a moment, then laughed shortly.

"You're a _pi_g," I exclaimed.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, not looking at all ashamed, "But of course, there are exceptions to every rule," he said cryptically, looking at me. I blushed involuntarily.

"Have you…have you found your exception yet?" I fumbled over my words, struck dumb by his gaze.

"I'm not sure. I might have," he said just as enigmatically, no longer looking at me but at a particularly and maddeningly attractive fifth-year Hufflepuff, who was walking by and shooting glances at Sirius over his shoulder, "However, as I 'm sure you know, sometimes rules have to be followed. See you, Charlotte," he said, and strolled up to the girl, casually throwing an arm around her shoulder.

I watched, frozen but for a little flutter of hope in my chest.

**A/N: I'm back from vacation, yay! **

**The amount of reviews for the last chapter was a record high, thank you all so much. It's still so surprising to me that people actually like my****writing.**

**Thanks again, and please review! :)**


	15. Determination

None of my teachers hesitated to jump right in after the break, and within a week I already had enough homework to leave me only an hour of free time a day, if any.

I was seated on the couch in the common room, staring at the sleeve of my robe, which I was supposed to be changing from black to red. I had been helplessly waving my wand for a good half an hour, but the most I had done was give the cloth a slightly maroon-colored tinge that was only visible at a certain angle.

Transfiguration had always been my hardest subject, and all the distractions in my life weren't helping me master the spell I had been told to practice for homework. I couldn't stop thinking about how Sirius had said he might have found the exception to his rule of keeping his female relations strictly physical. I hoped beyond hope that _I _was that exception, even though my mind told me I was only setting myself up to be letdown. Sirius and I were just friends; it was the way it had always been and the way it would always be.

Once I decided he couldn't have been talking about me, my mind was filled with all the possibilities of who it could be. I craved the answer, though I knew that once I had it, I would be heartbroken. There was no point in even pretending I disliked Sirius anymore; my feelings had grown considerably over the course of the past few months.

I still felt repulsion towards his actions around girls, but not towards him as a person. I wasn't sure if his confession made the situation better or worse. Half of me was disgusted that he was acting like a stereotypically horny teenage boy with no regard for the feelings of others. The other, more selfish, half was satisfied with the fact that he didn't reciprocate any girls' affections; the idea of Sirius falling for someone that wasn't me made my insides shrivel up in envy.

That thought brought everything back full circle, and again left me to wonder who the girl that Sirius thought was developing feelings for was. I could only hope she wasn't one of my friends, because, whoever she was, I would hate her.

Feeling angry and ashamed of myself for being so jealous and crazy about a dumb boy, I tried to drop the topic entirely from my mind and focus on my robes, which were slowly growing redder, but my attempts were rendered impossible when the dumb boy himself bounded over the back of the couch, landing next to me with ease.

"You need to stop doing that," I exclaimed after yelping and narrowly avoiding stabbing myself in the eye with my wand.

"Sorry," he laughed, not looking the least bit apologetic, and kicked his feet onto the table and leaning back against the couch.

I scoffed, shaking my head and diverting my attention back to my color-changing dilemma.

"Multicofors," I said firmly, yet my robes were still maddeningly blacker than they were red, "I said Multicofors, damn it," I seethed.

"Want some help?" he chuckled, and I realized he was watching me with an infuriatingly amused look on his face.

"I'm supposed to be your tutor, not the other way around," I hissed through clenched teeth, and looked up nervously at Lily and Mary, who were sitting on the loveseat and comparing answers to the Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. Neither of them were paying attention; all our friends had thankfully gotten used to the tutoring situation, and no longer showed much interest when Sirius and I were together. I thought bitterly to myself that they probably shared my belief that Sirius could never be interested in me, and no longer saw me as a threat.

"You help me with Herbology, I help you with Transfiguration," Sirius said calmly, smiling, and pulled out his own wand. He pulled the sleeve up on his other arm, and I was pleased to see that the leather band I had bought him was still around his wrist, just as he had said it would be.

"You're going to practice on the bracelet?" I asked.

"Sure am," he grinned, and I briefly wondered why, "Now watch," he said, and expertly waved his wand, muttering "Multicofors" as he did so. The brown leather changed to a deep scarlet color instantaneously.

"How did you do that?" I sputtered, frustrated that he had managed to execute the charm perfectly on his first try while I had been sitting and struggling with it for thirty minutes.

"You're moving your wand the wrong way," he explained, "You're doing it like this," he said, moving the wand in a U-shape.

"That's how you did it, too," I whined.

"No. Watch closely," he said, his tone surprisingly kind, and performed the spell once more, turning the wristband back to its original color. I stared at his wand movement, and noticed a barely perceptible flick of the wrist at the end that I hadn't realized was there before.

"Oh," I said stupidly, and he laughed.

"Here," he laughed, and took hold of my wrist. I was immediately reminded of the last time his hands had been on me, and my cheeks turned the bright red color I wished I could turn my robes into. He moved my hand through the motion, "Now try it yourself," he said, removing his hand.

"M-multicofors," I stammered, still distracted by his touch, and my hand shook slightly as I attempted to recreate the motion. To my surprise, my robes turned a deep magenta color.

"Were you going for magenta?" Sirius asked, grinning.

"I was going for red," I groaned, realizing the spell had gone awry because my thoughts had been elsewhere, though I couldn't tell him that without admitting it was him I was disoriented by.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. That's definitely a start," he said reassuringly, and I again marveled at his kindness.

"You're a good teacher," I told him, "We should have said you were the one tutoring me,"

"Am I?" he shrugged, "I've never really taught anyone anything before,"

"I feel so special," I said jokingly, but, in reality, I was pleased to be the first person he had taken the time to help with schoolwork. It wasn't much to show off about, but it was something.

"I told you I owed you," he smiled, "I'll be in your debt forever, so you best get used to it,"

"You're being dramatic," I laughed, but I again felt heat rush to my cheeks.

"I tend to have a flair for the dramatic," he winked, and my heart fluttered at the gesture.

"Oi, Sirius, we've been looking for you," James yelled from the portrait hole, and Sirius sat up. I realized with a start that his arm had been spread out on the couch behind me; if it had been any lower, it wouldn't have been around my shoulder.

"What's up?" he asked, and I cursed the Marauders in my mind for showing up and interrupting my time with the surprisingly sweet Sirius.

"We've got an idea," James exclaimed loudly, running over to the couch in an impressively small amount of steps, "Hi, Charlotte," he said brightly, and I smiled, my bitterness disappearing; James' enthusiasm was always infuriatingly contagious.

"What sort of idea?" Sirius asked, but from the mischievous glint in his eye, I knew the answer he was anticipating.

"A brilliant one!" James cried.

"Would you mind keeping it down? Some of us are trying to get work done," Lily protested, and James turned to her.

"Not all of us are satisfied with a life of studying, Lily," he said cheerfully.

"I may remind you for the hundredth time that I am a prefect. I'm positive whatever idea you have is going to break numerous school rules-" she began, but James cut her off.

"Nobody said anything about breaking rules, love," he said, just as merrily, "Your assumptions hurt my feelings," he feigned a pout, and she shook her head.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" she scoffed, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Ah, I've been called worse," he waved a hand, smirking, "You need to lighten up. Remus is a prefect, too, and he doesn't give me half the trouble you do,"

"That's because you'd hex me if I tried," Remus said wearily, settling into an armchair and staring at his friend with a mixture of exasperation and admiration.

"I think Peter should have been prefect instead," Lily said, glaring at Remus, then turned to look at Peter kindly. He blushed, looking pleased.

"Why's that?" Sirius laughed, and Peter scowled at him.

"He's less trouble than the rest of you put together," she sniffed.

"That's because he's too scared to talk in front of people most of the time," Remus chuckled, and Peter crossed his arms over his chest haughtily.

"I am not!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, you are," James said lovingly, "But you're a right criminal when it's just us around. Trust me, Lily, the school would collapse if Peter was prefect,"

Everyone laughed, and Peter huffed, flopping down on the couch, but looked satisfied with James' description of him.

"Whatever you say," Lily said, and turned back to her homework, defeated.

"What say you, Padfoot? You in?" James whispered, turning his attention back to Sirius.

"I don't know what I'm in for, but yes, I'm in," Sirius grinned.

"Count me out," Remus said from his perch on the armchair, "I need a nap,"

"You're just scared to get in trouble because you're a _prefect_," James grumbled, and Remus frowned.

"It's not my fault Dumbledore picked me. Besides, tomorrow night's full moon. I have enough to worry about," he said sadly, and James' expression softened.

"Sorry, mate, I forgot," he said apologetically, and turned to Peter instead, "Let's go, Wormtail," I noticed he didn't ask, but automatically assumed Peter would want to join. Considering Peter's constant craving for attention, it wasn't a surprise that he immediately stood up and trotted over to where James was standing.

"Right, well, it's just the three of us, then," Sirius said merrily, and looked at me, "See you later, Charlotte,"

"Have fun," I said knowingly and he grinned, leaning in closer to whisper:

"Don't feel too special. You're not the only one I pull pranks with,"

* * *

"Still here, are you?" Sirius asked from behind me a few hours later.

I looked up from the last sentence of my Potions essay, seeing that he was alone. Lily and Mary had left for dinner a couple of minutes earlier and Remus was upstairs, sleeping, but I had stayed to finish the last bit of homework I had left so I could enjoy my meal in peace.

"Where are James and Peter?" I asked, scribbling the last few words.

"They went down to dinner already. I came to wake Moony and to put the cloak back," he explained, patting his pocket.

"Right," I said stupidly, finishing up and rolling up the parchment with relief.

"Going to dinner now?" he asked as I hastily stuffed the completed essay in my bag, and I nodded, "Wait for us, will you? We can all go together,"

"Sure," I agreed, packing away the rest of my belongings and Vanishing my bag to my bed. I sat and waited awkwardly as he bounded up the stairs and disappeared through the door to the boys' dormitory, and was surprised to see him come running back down by himself moments later.

"Moony didn't want to get up," he said, answering my unasked question.

"Poor guy," I said sadly, and he nodded, understanding.

"I know. Least I can do is let him sleep when he wants to. Shall we go, then?" he asked, and I stood up, following him towards the portrait hole.

"So how was your prank?" I asked, unsure what to say.

"Not our best, but funny all the same," he grinned.

"What did you do?" I inquired curiously, and he raised an eyebrow.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," he said enigmatically, and laughed at the surprised expression on my face, "I'm kidding. We filled Filch's office with Dungbombs, and locked the door from the outside when he walked in,"

"That's horrible!" I laughed incredulously, "The man's going to die in there,"

"Eh, we let him out after twenty minutes," he said calmly, but he was smiling.

"Twenty minutes in a room full of Dungbombs is something out of a nightmare," I shuddered.

"I reckon he thought so, too. He was all red when he stumbled out and his nose was so scrunched up that I wouldn't be surprised if it'll be stuck like that forever," he chuckled.

"Where'd you find the bombs?" I asked.

"Don't tell anyone, but we happen to know of a passage that takes us from here to Hogsmeade. James got under the cloak and borrowed a couple of boxes from Zonko's," he explained proudly.

"Borrowed?" I scoffed, and he looked momentarily guilty.

"Alright, so maybe we stole them. Euphemisms aren't a crime," he shrugged, smiling.

"But stealing is," I pointed out, and he put a finger to his lips.

"Don't tell Lily," he whispered, "She'll skin us alive,"

"Your secret is safe with me," I laughed, "But what happens if Filch finds out it was you?"

"Oh, he knows,"

"What?" I asked, bewildered.

"He _definitely_ knows it was us. No one else would pull something like that. Only problem for him is, he's got no way of proving it," he winked, and I again felt the same flittering sensation in my chest.

"Lucky for you," I said quietly, and there was a momentary silence in which Sirius' grin disappeared and was replaced by a frown, "What's on your mind?"

"All this talk of pranks reminds me of ours," he said sadly.

"Yes, and?"

"We should just call it off," he said, looking at me with drooped eyelids.

"What? Why?" I asked, though part of me was rejoicing; the prospect of not having to continue with the plan lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.

"I don't want to put you in any more difficult situations," he sighed, "I still feel really bad about before,"

I hesitated, but realized that the plan was something he had been looking forward to for a long time. It would help him immensely; I could still remember the look on his face when he admitted that he was afraid of what the Slytherins were capable of, and it was a look I never wanted to see on him again. I had agreed to assist him in conquering the fear, and I wasn't about to back out now, just because of a little of my own trepidation.

Besides, having alone time with the boy, no matter how dumb I sometimes considered him, was pleasurable more often than not.

"I'm not a child, Sirius," I forced myself to say, and he stared, surprised, "I can handle it,"

"I know, but-"

"No 'but's," I interrupted him firmly, "We're doing it and that's final. You need it,"

"What did I do to deserve you?" he said happily after a moment of hesitation, beaming at me.

I didn't answer, but blushed deeper than ever before. We walked along in comfortable silence, and were in the Entrance Hall and getting close enough to smell the food wafting in from the doors of the Great Hall, when a group of Slytherins emerged from the dungeons.

"Speaking of the plan…" I whispered, and Sirius stiffened.

"Just think of the looks on their faces when they saw the boggart," he whispered back, and I giggled, causing them to look around at us. Their faces brightened when they saw who we were.

"Oi, Regulus, looks like your brother has got himself a new girlfriend," Avery said with a wicked smile, and I noticed for that first time Regulus Black was amongst the group. He bore an undeniable resemblance to Sirius, though both his height and his hair were shorter, and he was considerably less handsome. He was younger than the rest of the people he was with, but the cruel look permanently etched on his face and the air of carelessness around him made him seem more mature.

"I'm not his girlfriend," I said quickly.

"He's not my brother," Regulus said at the same time, though his voice was substantially calmer than mine.

"You better hope not, Regulus," Avery smirked, ignoring me, "A Black ending up with a half-blood will ruin the family name, won't it?"

"He's not part of the family anymore," Regulus said coldly.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Avery laughed, "I've been to your house. Mummy's burned your face right off the family tree," he told Sirius, whose jaw was clenched.

"That must hurt, right?" Mulciber spoke up.

"I don't want any association with people like you," Sirius hissed, and they all laughed, asides from Regulus, who was staring at his estranged brother with resentment, and Snape, who was lurking at the back of the group and looking at the floor as always.

"Let's go," I whispered, grabbing Sirius around the arm and yanking him in the opposite direction, but he didn't budge, just stood frozen and stared at the Slytherins, his nostrils flaring.

"Listen to your girlfriend," Avery said, "She may be a coward, but she's smart to run from us,"

"She's not a coward," Sirius snarled, and I would have been pleased with the compliment if it weren't for the circumstances.

"Are you sure? May I remind you of a certain situation?" Avery asked, raising an eyebrow, and turned to Mulciber, who pretended to be riding a broomstick, his arm held out by his side as if he was holding a Quaffle. I groaned inwardly, knowing what was coming.

Sure enough, Avery began to make buzzing noises, flapping his arms stupidly, and Mulciber gave a falsetto scream and feigned dropping the invisible ball in his hand. The group began to laugh loudly and juvenilely, including Regulus and Snape this time, and I blushed involuntarily, though this time it was with embarrassment and fury. They continued to laugh as they turned away from us and walked into the Great Hall.

Sirius fumbled for his wand and pulled it out, pointing it towards their backs.

"Don't," I urged. He dropped his wand angrily and looked at me, his chin still clenched and held high.

"You were right," he said, looking determined.

"About what?" I asked, confused.

"The plan," he said, "It has to happen,"

From the enmity that was plain in his voice, I knew things had just gotten considerably more complicated.

**A/N: This chapter was shorter than the last few have been, sorry! **

**Thanks for the reviews! The number is nearing a hundred. Which is **_**crazy. **_**I ****never**** expected a hundred reviews. Thank you all so much!**

**A special thanks to Ali for the longest review so far (no pun intended…ha), it was awesome to read so thanks a **_**bunch**_**. :)))**

**Thanks for reading, and please review!**


	16. Pain

That night was a particularly sleepless one; I dozed off for only a few minutes at a time before waking with a start, only to repeat the process over and over again. The few precious moments of sleep I did have were punctured by dreams that were annoyingly perceptive of all the things I worried about during the day.

Images of Remus as a werewolf, spawned by the thought of the full moon that would inevitably appear the next day, were followed by those of the Slytherins' leering faces and the prospect of the prank that had been set back in motion. Several of the dreams also contained visions of the drunken Sirius from the night of the concert, and they confusedly switched back and forth from the image of the kind Sirius that had helped me with my Transfiguration homework.

Scarlett woke me from a particularly long, by which I mean half hour, dozing session in the morning by whacking me in the face with a pillow, which she found hilarious and which I found a _fantastic _way to add to the pounding sensation that already present in my head.

"Let me sleep," I grumbled, and she giggled, flopping down on the bed beside me.

"It's Hogsmeade day," she crooned.

"Oh," I said stupidly, but my mood brightened considerably at the thought of drinking Butterbeer in The Three Broomsticks and sampling sweets at Honeyduke's. There was nothing better for distracting the mind stuffing oneself with unhealthy treats; I didn't know about others, but all my worries were replaced with the guilty feeling of overindulgence after a trip to Hogsmeade. It wasn't a great feeling, but it was still better than everything else that was plaguing me.

"Get up, you two. We're going to miss breakfast," Lily, ever the group leader, called from the bathroom door. She dried her sopping hair with a wave of a wand and began to pull on her robes.

"Who needs breakfast?" Scarlett said dreamily, settling deeper into my bed and closing her eyes, "The thought of all the Chocolate Frogs I'm going to eat is enough to hold me off,"

"Is Charlotte's bed more comfortable than yours, Scarlett?" Mary laughed from where she was sitting on the floor, sorting through a pile of mostly dirty socks in an attempt to find a clean pair.

"Considerably," Scarlett mumbled in response, her eyes still closed.

"Guess we'll have to try it out," Isabelle sighed, and, before I knew what was happening, she and Mary were leaping onto my bed, causing it to lift several centimeters of the floor and land again with a dull thud. Mary landed straight on my stomach, her feet, only one of which was socked, kicking the air happily.

"Seems a bit lumpy to me," Mary said, groping my shoulder.

"Gerroff me," I groaned, but I was laughing. She rolled off me and onto the empty spot on the mattress; the four of us were squeezed together like sardines.

"There's room for one more," Scarlett said in a sing-song voice, though there really wasn't, and Lily hesitated, before smiling and joining us, half her body dangling off the bed because of the lack of space. I closed my eyes, happy for my friends' company; it seemed to be an even better distraction than Hogsmeade would be.

"Well, this is interesting," James' amused voice floated in from the doorway, and we all squealed. Lily rolled right off the mattress and landed on the floor, but sat up as quickly as it had happened and glared at him. I noticed with a start that Sirius was also there, lazily leaning against the doorframe and smirking at the sight of the five of us in one bed. I felt myself blush, and groaned inwardly; it was far too early in the day to already have turned red because of Sirius Black.

"How did you get up here?" Scarlett asked incredulously, pulling the sheets up to her chin to cover her pajama-clad body. Mary's feet were sticking out of the end of the comforter, as she was taller than the rest of us, and she hastily crossed her ankles in an attempt to hide the fact that she was only wearing one sock.

"We have our ways," Sirius said mysteriously, "We heard suspicious noises and came up to investigate," he grinned.

"Looks like fun, what you're doing," James smiled mischievously, "Mind if we join?" he added, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"In your dreams," Isabelle laughed, not seeming at all fazed by the two boys standing in the entrance of our dormitory. She wrapped a leg around my waist and placed a hand on the side of Scarlett's face, "They're all mine," she said seductively.

"Can't say I'm not jealous," Sirius sighed, and I blushed again. Twice before I had even gotten out of bed; it was a new record.

"You two are _not _supposed to be here. I can get you in so much trouble," Lily said, scampering up from the floor.

"Lighten up, Miss Prefect," James smiled.

"I hardly think it's fair that girls can come and go to and from our dormitories as they please and we can't come up here without being threatened," Sirius grinned.

"I reckon you're right, Sirius," James said, "It's sexism, is what it is," he continued, widening his eyes for dramatic effect.

Lily paused for a moment, but she laughed out loud, surprising us all.

"You two are going to drive me mad one of these days," she shook her head.

"Oh, love, I think we're already halfway there," James winked, and I was startled to see Lily's cheeks burn red; she hardly ever blushed. The last time I could remember was when Slughorn had praised her Draught of Living Death and told her that "she was the best Potions student he had ever had the pleasure to teach".

"So, what do you say? Party in, er…whose bed is this, exactly?" Sirius asked.

"Charlotte's," Mary piped up, and I resisted the urge to pinch her.

"Charlotte," Sirius repeated, raising a single eyebrow, and looked at me with a smirk on his lips, "So you instigated this? You're dirtier than I thought,"

"I am _not_," I exclaimed, and blushed yet again. Three times, and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet.

"Oh, you don't have to deny it anymore, Charlotte" Isabelle said loudly, still playing her coquetry game, and turned to Sirius and James, "Charlotte is constantly _burning _with desire. She practically _dragged_ us in bed with her,"

"Wow, who would've thought?" James said in mock surprise, and Sirius eyed me with an unreadable look in his eyes.

And there was the fourth time; I debated burying my face in my pillow.

"If you won't let us join you, I guess we'll just have to have our own fun," Sirius said suddenly and grabbed James, dropping onto the nearest bed with him. Mary giggled, and Scarlett watched them with mingling fascination and amusement.

"Of course you'd choose my bed," Lily groaned, and James sat up suddenly.

"The bed I am currently sitting on belongs to _the _Lily Evans?" he asked, his eyes wide, and dropped again, spreading his arms wide, "I'm never leaving,"

"Oh, shut up," Lily huffed as Sirius roared with laughter.

"Listen, this is all fun, but I just realized I have an Owl to send before we leave for Hogsmeade," I lied. I was suddenly uncomfortable, as the burning sensation in my cheeks had decided it was tired of disappearing only to reappear moments later, and was now lingering for a frustratingly extended period of time.

"Oh, no, don't go," Scarlett pouted.

"I'm sorry, it's important," I said, and scooted out from under the sheets. I crawled over Mary and dropped to the floor, painfully aware of my short nightdress. I dropped to my knees, as leaning over would give James and Sirius a nice long look at my bum, and pretended to rummage through my bag.

"I know why you're actually leaving," Sirius said grimly, and my heart stopped momentarily before he continued, unable to stop himself from cracking a smile, "You just can't handle the burning desire anymore,"

Everyone laughed, and I blushed for the fifth time at the accuracy of his joking statement. It may not have been a _burning desire_, but his guess wasn't too far off, not that I would ever admit to it.

"You caught me," I forced myself to say jokingly, and hid my face in my bag in embarrassment. My hand brushed against my Herbology textbook, and, making a sudden realization, I groaned loudly, dropping the bag and leaning back on my heels, disappointed.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, concerned.

"I can't go to Hogsmeade," I frowned, "I completely forgot about the Herbology project due tomorrow,"

"Can't you just do it when we get back?" Scarlett asked, and I shook my head sadly.

"There's no way I'll finish in time," I sulked, and my craving for Butterbeer intensified with the thought that I wouldn't be able to have it. I cursed myself for not completing the essay earlier; I was convinced that I had finished all my homework the day before.

"We'll miss you," Isabelle said, and the rest nodded.

"We'll bring you back some Butterbeer," James offered, as if reading my mind, and I smiled at him appreciatively.

"That'd be great, thanks," I told him, and he nodded, returning my smile kindly.

"I'll stay behind with you for company, if you want," Sirius suggested, and I gaped at him, surprised by the offer. I wasn't the only one; Isabelle's eyes widened minimally and Scarlett suddenly looked a bit cross.

"Oh, no, you go on. It's my problem, not yours. I don't want to ruin your fun," I stammered, "But thanks for offering,"

"Of course," Sirius said with a grin, seemingly not noticing the sudden and slightly tense silence in the room.

"Right, well, the rest of us best be getting ready," Lily announced loudly, and looked at me apologetically, "Sorry, Charlotte, I wish you could come,"

"It's fine. You lot have fun," I waved a hand, though I could already feel all my previous worries come rushing in at the thought of my friends crowding around a table at the pub without me.

Ignoring the pitying looks, I sorted through my trunk for clothes to wear, my happy mood shot and dead on the floor.

* * *

An hour later I was bundled up in three layers of clothing and looking for a dry spot to sit outside. It was a particularly warm day for January, though still cold enough for me to wear two sweaters under my robes, and I had decided to take advantage of the weather and work on my project outside.

The warm sun had melted the majority of the sun on the ground, but most of the grass was still wet to the touch. I traipsed around the grounds, searching for somewhere to settle down that wasn't already inhabited by first or second years; from what I could see, I was the only student above thirteen that wasn't leaving for Hogsmeade.

I finally found a spot against one of the castle walls; a section of the wall jutted out into the grass, so I could sit behind it and work while still being slightly hidden from the view of anyone walking past. I looked around; on one side, I could see groups of students walking merrily down the path leading towards town, the Quidditch pitch visible in the distance behind them. On the other side, some couple hundred meters away, was the Whomping Willow, framing the gamekeeper's hut in the background.

Pulling my supplies out of my bag with resignation, I began to work, sighing under my breath. I continued to write for what seemed like days, as it was a particularly complicated project that had been assigned the day we got back from break. My constantly distracted mind, thinking of the bustling Hogsmeade streets with longing, didn't help either. I cursed myself again for forgetting about the essay; I had placed it aside and opted to do homework due earlier instead. I munched on some food I had snatched from the emptying Great Hall when my stomach began to grumble with hunger.

Students were beginning to return, noticeably more tired than they were when they left, and I was still writing. My hand was cramping and there were ink stains on my palm; I put my quill down with a sigh and decided to take a break, massaging my fingers. I didn't feel like going back to the common room and listening to everyone speaking happily of what they had done in Hogsmeade, so I remained where I was sitting.

The effects of my lack of sleep were beginning to settle in: my temples felt as if they were about to burst and my body felt suddenly heavy. I bundled deeper into the hood of my robes, and my eyes drooped as I stretched my arms above my head. The warming sun was relaxing, and, forgetting about the parchment still sitting in my lap, I dozed off, my head lolling against the brick wall behind me.

* * *

I woke suddenly after what I figured were several long hours; the sun was setting, leaving the sky with a purple tinge. The moon was starting to peek over the tops of the trees, and I sat up, wiping the drool off of my chin.

Still half asleep and not entirely sure where I was or what I was doing, I began to pack up, shivering in the sudden cold, though my project still had a few paragraphs left to go before it was completed. I stopped trying to shove my Herbology book into my bag, however, when I heard the undeniable sounds of footsteps in the crackling, half-frozen snow.

I looked up, and saw two figures heading towards the cabin in the distance. With some strain, I made out, with some surprise, that one of the figures was Madam Pomfrey; she was walking with definite purpose, with her chin set sternly and her hands clenched at her sides. The other figure kept looking around nervously, but didn't seem to see me, as I was still hidden by the stretch of castle wall and a shadow that hadn't been there earlier.

I recognized the gait of the person, and when he looked around once more, I caught a glimpse of his green eyes and realized, with a start, that it was Remus.

All my thoughts came flooding back in, and I remembered the full moon; I gave it a quick, worried look as it rose higher. Remus, sharing in my thoughts, looked up as well and walked quicker, catching up to Madam Pomfrey. I realized, of course, that they were not heading towards Hagrid's cabin, but towards the Whomping Willow.

Frozen in place with a small amount of fear and a lot of curiosity, I watched, my mouth slightly agape, as the nurse conjured up a long stick and used it to press the knot on the tree's trunk. Its waving branches ceased movement immediately, and Madam Pomfrey, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder, ushered him through a hole by the base of the trunk.

Still unable to move, I waited; sure enough, she reappeared many minutes later, her body visibly relaxed now that she wasn't in the company of a werewolf. She bustled towards the castle, disappearing out of view as she rounded the corner.

Only moments after she was gone, two more figures came running out of the forest, though not those of humans. A dog and a stag were bounding towards the hole Remus had disappeared through; I knew there must have been a rat by them, but I couldn't quite make it out in the rapidly darkening night.

Snapping out of my reverie and realizing exactly what I was doing, I began to panic and hastily picked up my bag. I made to step out of the shadows when the dog stopped and tensed; it turned its head, the nose at the end of its snout held high in the air and looked straight at me, its large eyes shining through the darkness. It turned back to the stag, nudging it to go on; the stag stiffened as well, looking around, and it too looked at me through massive eyes. I presumed James' and Sirius' Animagus forms had particularly keen senses.

It hesitated, but crawled through the hole without the dog. Frozen again, in trepidation this time, I watched as the dog ran in a terrifyingly rapid pace towards me. I had the sudden fright that it was about to pounce on me, and stepped backwards hastily, tripping over my own feet and landing on the ground in a heap.

The dog, however, slowed as it neared, and stopped completely when it was several meters away. It waited until it was completely immersed in the shadows, and soon was gone, replaced by Sirius Black.

I stared up at him guiltily; he looked absolutely livid. His nostrils were flared as they had been when we had encountered the Slytherins, and his eyes glinted with pure fury. He took a deep breath; all trace of the friendly boy that had offered to stay in Hogwarts with me instead of going to Hogsmeade was gone.

"Are. You. _Mental_?" he spat, punctuating each word with such malice that I couldn't help but flinch.

"I didn't mean to. It was an accident, I fell-" I tried to explain myself, but he interrupted me.

"What are you playing at? Are you trying to get yourself killed?" he asked incredulously, his fists still clenched.

"No! I just-"

"How can you be so _reckless_?"

"_I'm _the reckless one?" I squeaked, suddenly maddened by his hypocrisy and refusal to let me defend myself. I scrambled up onto my feet, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I've never done anything that could end my _life_," he seethed, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Yes, but you've done things that could end others'," I said coldly, "Roaming around school grounds with a werewolf just because you want some _fun_,"

His eyes widened momentarily, but he quickly recollected himself. When he spoke again, his tone was surprisingly even.

"I do it for Remus. Not for my own selfish curiosity," he said callously.

"I was working on my essay here and I fell asleep," I attempted to say just as calmly, but my voice broke mid-sentence, "I just now woke up. This was all just a horrible coincidence, and, trust me, I wish it never happened,"

There was a momentary silence, in which he looked suddenly guilty. His lips parted, and he looked at me apologetically.

"I thought-" he began, but it was my turn to interrupt.

"I know what you thought. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not as stupid as you seem to believe I am," I said, the anger seeping back into my voice.

"I'm sorry-"

"I have to get back inside before I get myself killed," I cut him off once more.

"I was just-"

"_I'm_ just doing as you wish, Sirius," I said shrilly, "Because I, unlike you, don't find pleasure in the pain of others,"

It was a low blow dripping with hypocrisy, and I knew it. His face stiffened, and he eyed me with cold disappointment.

"I see," he said quietly, and before I even had the chance to feel any remorse, he transformed back into a dog and ran away towards the Whomping Willow without a backwards glance.

**A/N: The beginning of this chapter was super fun to write. The end, not so much, but it had to happen.**

**Please review; let me know what you think, tell me if you love it or hate it, blah blah blah.**

**Actually, don't tell me if you hate it. I think I'd rather not know, hahha.**

**Thanks for reading, and please do review! :)**


	17. Hurt

I sat by the fireplace in the early hours of the next morning, my finally completed Herbology homework packed away, in a chair as close to the hearth as it could be without setting itself, and me, aflame. I wasn't sure why I lacked the desire to sleep; either I had already gotten my fill outside, or the anger in me rendered me incapable of falling asleep again. I reckoned it was a mixture of both, but, either way, I felt wide awake.

I was the only one in the common room, which made sense considering the fact it was only five in the morning and everyone who wasn't fuming with newly renowned dislike for the boy they were falling for was dreaming peacefully in their beds. The Marauders had yet to return, which I was grateful for, as I didn't particularly want to see Sirius again, but I was still full of the sickening worry that something had gone wrong.

Grabbing a poker, I used it to angrily stab the wood in the fireplace, finding satisfaction in the way that small pieces crumbled and turned to gray dust before flaming red and disappearing entirely.

I knew deep down that Sirius had only been worried about my safety, but it was infuriating that he had been so quick to think I would be stupid enough to be outside on purpose when I knew what was going to happen. I wasn't like him. _I _didn't find dangerous stunts exciting, but he seemed to think I shared in his idiotic longing for adventure and told me off before I even had a chance to explain myself. He had such _nerve _to call _me _reckless, when he was the definition of the word himself.

_You're angrier with yourself than you are with him_, I told myself as I gave a quickly deteriorating log a particularly gratifying jab. It was begrudgingly true; I hated myself for my short temper, which seemed to be one of the only Gryffindor traits I actually possessed.

The poker got stuck in the wood of the log and I attempted to pull it out. Failing miserably, I flopped back into the seat, left with no distraction from my thoughts. I barely contained a groan as I remembered the nasty things I had said. If Sirius and I were alike in any way, it was that he was just as quick to anger as I was. It would be a surprise if he _didn't _hold a grudge against me.

When were in our first year, a seventh year named Regina had discarded one of Sirius' Fanged Frisbees, and told him that "little boys shouldn't talk back" when Sirius had angrily demanded that Regina return it. Sirius dropped a bucket of Flobberworms on her head as his revenge, and she actually burst into tears; I still remembered the awe of seeing someone who seemed so _grown up _cry.

She had given the Frisbee back after that, and Sirius won, as he did more often than not. What the situation had taught me was that Sirius didn't forgive easily; if something as simple as taking a Frisbee got him riled up, I couldn't imagine what kind of effect my spiteful accusation had.

I placed a hand on my forehead and resisted the urge to cry out of frustration. It was so _difficult_. Half the time Sirius was the only person I wanted to be around, and the other half I wished I would never have to see him again.

It was almost comical that he made me smile more than anyone else, yet made me frown almost as often. The easiest thing to do would be to forget him entirely, but it was impossible. Every time I thought I was done forever and that my feelings were gone, he managed to rope me back in with just one maddeningly dazzling smile.

I sighed shakily in resignation and leaned forward to grab the poker once more, not thinking about the fact that it had just been sitting in a red-hot fire for an extended period of time. I wrapped my hand around it with zero hesitation, and let go just as quickly with a cry of pain that I was sure the whole castle could hear.

"Shit!" I shrieked, nursing my palm, which was bright pink and slowly turning into an unpleasantly deep maroon color. I thought wildly of the day before, when Sirius had helped me change the color of my robes; my hand was now the same color he had turned his bracelet into and the skin was beginning to blister.

I had never been on the wrong end of a Blast-Ended Skrewt, but I reckoned it would hurt less. I stuck my hand in my mouth, unsure what else to do. Either I had never learned anything related to Healing, or everything I had ever known disappeared from my mind in the face of the situation.

"Aguamenti," I hissed through clenched teeth after removing my hand, and a thin stream of water came out of the end of my wand, dousing my throbbing palm. It relieved the stinging sensation momentarily, but didn't help much in the long run.

I briefly considered waking Lily up; if anyone knew what to do, it would be her. I didn't quite feel like explaining why I was awake and playing with fire so early in the morning, however, and decided I was probably better off just going down to the hospital wing; Madam Pomfrey refrained from asking questions most of the time.

I climbed through the portrait hole. The Fat Lady grumbled at being woken up, but I silently raised my palm and she took one wide-eyed look at it before nodding in understanding.

"You go get that fixed, dear," she said sympathetically before settling back into her slumber, snoring quietly.

I hurried down the corridors, hoping I wouldn't run into Filch or his godforsaken cat, Mrs. Norris. Hours seemed to pass before I made it down to the first floor, and I felt a surge of relief when the doors to the hospital wing came into view. I was now holding my hand completely stiff; every time I tried to bend my fingers, it sent a rush of pain up my arm.

I pushed to door open with my good hand, walking as quickly as I could without breaking into a run, but stopped short at the view awaiting me.

Remus was lying in one of the wing's many beds, asleep yet still looking wearier than I had ever seen him. His shirt was off and there were bandages wrapped around his chest. I felt suddenly as if I didn't deserve to feel any pain; my meaningless injury was obviously nothing compared to what he had gone through.

James was perched on the edge of the bed, Sirius in a chair by the pillow, and Peter in another at the foot. They all looked tired and concerned, and the soft expression on Sirius' face as he looked down at his friend made me forget all the anger I had been feeling; it was replaced with a rush of affection.

None of them had noticed me walk in, but James seemed to realize there was someone else in the room and looked up suddenly, his eyebrows furrowed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, though he sounded surprised as opposed to angry. Sirius jumped at the sudden words, and looked around wildly. His eyes, as I expected, narrowed when he saw me.

"Curiosity's got the better of you, has it?" he asked coldly, his voice a stark contrast against James'. From the uncomfortable looks on James and Peter's faces, I knew Sirius had explained what had happened between the two of us. They both looked back at Remus, who was still sleeping and oblivious to his surroundings.

"No, I had no idea you were here," I said calmly. I had felt a surge of mingling frustration and disappointment at his words, but I couldn't muster up any anger into my voice. Not when Remus was right there, looking so fragile and helpless.

"So then-" James began, but was interrupted when Madam Pomfrey came rushing out of her office and into the room.

"I heard voices. What's going on?" she asked, eyeing Remus with fright, but paused when her eyes landed on me, "May I help you?" she blinked, clearly surprised.

"Er, yeah, sorry, I accidentally burnt myself," I explained, holding up my hand. I couldn't help but glance over at the bed, and felt a bit of satisfaction at the guilty expression on Sirius' face. It was the exact same he had worn when I had explained myself so many hours earlier, but it was soon gone and he stiffened again.

"Tsk, tsk," Madam Pomfrey said, examining my palm. I winced at her touch, and she dropped my hand, "Sit down,"

I sat on the bed next to Remus' while Madam Pomfrey went rushing towards a cabinet full of vials and bottles.

"What happened?" Peter asked, leaning over to look at my palm and grimacing.

"She probably did it on purpose as an excuse to come here," Sirius grumbled under his breath, and James shot him a look.

"I told you I didn't know you were here," I told him, scowling, "There was a poker in the fire and I grabbed it without thinking," I explained to the others, choosing to leave out the fact that I had been the one to put it there in the first place.

"What were you doing awake?" James inquired as Madam Pomfrey came bustling back over with a bottle in her hand. She unscrewed the cap and squeezed a few drops of a thick, brown liquid onto my hand.

"I just didn't feel like sleeping," I shrugged as cool relief spread over my skin. I looked to see my burn healing itself, the red slowly draining back to its original color. I tried not to betray any other emotion on my face, but from the sympathetic look James gave me, I knew I had failed.

"All better. Back to bed with you now," Madam Pomfrey chirped after she soaked a bandage in the same liquid and wrapped it around my palm, but I shook my head hastily.

"No, I want to stay with Remus," I said firmly, and she looked from me to the Marauders a few times, a bit bewildered.

"She knows, Madam Pomfrey," James told her, and she nodded, though a bit unsurely.

"Very well then," she said, giving me one last uncertain look, "Just keep your voices down,"

She hurried away, disappearing through the door to her office. I watched her go, then turned back, bursting with questions.

"What happened?" I asked, scooting closer and peering at Remus.

"This happens sometimes," Peter sighed.

"He just gets a little out of control every once in a while," James explained.

"He'll be okay though, right?" I asked, unable to keep the worry out of my voice. James smiled reassuringly.

"He'll be fine, Madam Pomfrey fixed him up. She even said this one probably won't scar," he told me, and I felt myself relax.

"Good," I said, relieved, but realized something else, "Does Madam Pomfrey know about you three being-" I began, but Sirius cut me off.

"Don't say it out loud," he hissed, "Of course she doesn't know, don't be thick,"

"Then what's your explanation for being here?" I asked, directing my question towards James and shooting Sirius a glare. He wasn't looking at me, but at the floor, his face hard. My heart sank a bit; my worries that he would hold a grudge against me seemed to be coming true.

"We just told her he came up to the common room looking like this. She doesn't ask too many questions," James whispered, looking at the door to Madam Pomfrey's office nervously.

Remus began to stir feebly, awakened by the voices conversing above him. He blinked a few times, looking around. He smiled at the Marauders, even Sirius, whose composure broke upon Remus' awakening. He continued to smile as he attempted to sit up but groaned in pain, the smile disappearing, and fell back against the pillow, turning his head from side to side.

He opened his eyes as he was facing in my direction. He looked past James straight at me, and stared silently for a few minutes, his eyes travelling down to my wrapped hand, before scrambling up and pointing, the bandages on his chest straining as he breathed heavily.

"What is she doing here? Did I hurt her? Did something happen?" he asked frantically, as James and Sirius attempted to push him back down.

"Calm down, Moony, you didn't do anything. She burned her hand in the common room," James said tenderly, and Remus seemed to calm down, allowing himself to be set back on the bed.

"It was her stupid mistake, not yours," Sirius added angrily, and Remus' eyebrows etched together. He looked between the two of us, confused.

"Am I missing something here?" he asked, and Peter chuckled nervously.

"Sirius and Charlotte got in a bit of a fight, but don't worry about it right now. You need rest," James told him. I marveled briefly at how responsible James became in certain situations; it was so different from the kind of person he normally was. He was almost _Lily_-like.

"A fight over _what_?" Remus inquired, ignoring the bit about how he was supposed to go back to sleep.

"Charlotte was outside by the Whomping Willow. I saw her right before I went into the passage to the Shrieking Shack," Sirius said. Remus yelped, and James sighed, exasperated. He leaned back in his seat, looking defeated.

"I wasn't there on purpose! I was working on my Herbology project and fell asleep!" I exclaimed as Remus whipped his head around to look at me accusingly.

"You were working on your Herbology project," he repeated, disbelieving, "Outside. In January,"

"Well, yeah, you were all in Hogsmeade and I didn't feel like sitting inside by myself," I said quickly, angered by the gleeful look on Sirius' face after Remus' accusation.

"And you fell asleep _why_?" Remus asked, still unconvinced.

"I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before," I told him.

"Because…?"

"I…I don't know," I lied, flushing. I could feel everyone's gaze on me, and I looked at the floor.

"And you just so happened to be near the entrance to the place you know I go every full moon?" Remus continued, and I looked back up at him, fed up.

"Stop with the questions already. It was an accident, and I hoped you would have enough trust in me to believe that," I said angrily, and his expression changed, "I would never put myself in danger like that, and I wouldn't want to do anything that could hurt you, either,"

"I believe you," Remus said quietly after a moment of silence.

"Thank you," I said, my voice still a bit sharp.

"Me, too," James piped up, and Peter nodded in agreement. I beamed at them gratefully. Sirius made an indignant noise, and Remus looked at him.

"There's more to this than I've been told," he gauged by the look on Sirius' face, and Sirius crossed his arms.

"Why doesn't Charlotte tell you some of the things she said to me?" he spat.

"Why don't you tell him some of the things _you _said to _me_?" I huffed.

"Why don't you both grow up?" James cried, and I rounded on him to tell him that was hardly a fair statement coming from someone who still laughed at fart jokes, but he continued, not allowing me time to speak, "Just apologize to each other and get over it,"

I looked at Sirius expectantly, but he had his nose turned up and a haughty expression on his face.

"I won't apologize until she does," he said juvenilely, and I laughed out loud in disbelief.

"Don't be a child," I said.

"I'm not, I just think I deserve to be apologized to first,"

"That's ridiculous! I wouldn't even have said anything if you hadn't accused me of things before I even had a chance to explain myself!"

"Your explanation was hardly believable, as if you were really-"

"ENOUGH!" Remus roared, and we both looked at him, shocked by the sudden outburst. He looked between the two of us again, this time angrily, and said, "I think you should both leave,"

"But-" I began.

"Moony-" Sirius tried to say.

"Just go," James cut in wearily, and we both glared at him, but he didn't falter. Peter avoided everyone's gaze, and seemed to be suddenly fascinated by a button on his sweater.

Sirius and I stood up at the same time, angrily turning towards the door. For a second, it felt as if we were united against the others, walking side by side on our way to the exit and leaving them behind. We squeezed, still shoulder-to-shoulder, through the doorway and into the corridor.

I peered at him out of the corner of my eye; his jaw was still clenched and his fists held tightly by his side. I felt suddenly ashamed of our childish behavior, and opened my mouth to speak.

"Sirius," I began apologetically, but he wordlessly turned and clambered through a doorway leading to a different corridor. I followed him, scrambling along in his wake, "Please, just listen to me for a second,"

"Charlotte," he said, the anger in his voice gone. He turned around, looking tired and deflated, "You just made my best friend kick me out of the room when I was trying to help him. Forgive me if I'd rather not speak to you right now,"

I debated arguing back and saying that it was both of our faults that Remus had asked us to leave, but decided against it. I fell silent, staring at the boy in front of me. He stared back for a moment, before nodding and murmuring his thanks. Turning his back on me, he walked away, apparently to take a path to the Gryffindor tower that I was unaware of.

Feeling as if I was about to cry, I headed back the way I had come. My temper had acted of its own accord yet again and screwed me over. Sirius' friends meant more to him than anything; I wouldn't be surprised if he never wanted to speak to me again.

My throat burned and I felt suddenly tired as I climbed up several sets of stairs; each step seemed extremely difficult, and the route back to the common room seemed to take even longer than the one to hospital wing, though I was going back exactly the same way I had come.

The Fat Lady was already awake as I walked up, and she eyed me with concern.

"Rough hour?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Anything to do with that Black boy?" she asked, and I blinked at her, surprised, "He's just been through here, too, looking as if his owl just died,"

"No, it's not about him," I lied, unsure why, and she shook her head.

"Teenager drama," she muttered.

"Swedish Short-Snout," I said, not wanting to talk to the woman in the portrait any longer, and she  
"tsk"ed a couple times before swinging open at the sound of the password.

I scrambled through the hole; the common room was still empty, as the other students still had about a half hour before they had to start getting ready for class. I felt fatigued, but still had no desire to sleep, so I settled back into the chair by the fire. The poker was still sticking out of the flames, and I kicked it angrily, the heat having no effect on my shoe-covered foot.

I cursed it for the entire debacle in the hospital wing, and, on impulse, grabbed my wand out of my pocket and Vanished it. I put out the fire as well, for good measure, and curled up in the chair.

I sat there silently for a few minutes, just staring at the empty hearth of the fireplace, before bursting into sudden tears.

I had never been much of a crier, but Sirius seemed to change the rules of everything. I was so tired of not knowing what to think, of not being sure whether I loved him or hated him that every emotion I had been feeling for the past six months came rushing out of my eyes. I buried my face in my hands, trying to suppress the sobs as to not wake anybody up, but they wouldn't stop coming no matter how hard I tried.

"Charlotte?" someone asked, and I whipped around. Lily was standing there in her nightdress and socked feet, staring at me with concern and a bit of fear.

"Hi," I hiccupped, and giggled suddenly at my own foolishness. She looked momentarily bewildered, then walked over to me, scrambling over the arm of the chair and squeezing in next to me. It was both uncomfortable and wonderful at the same time, and I leaned my head on her shoulder, sniffing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" she asked after a minute, and I laughed again, lifting my head to reveal a large wet stain on her pajamas.

"I ruined your nightdress," I said, and she smiled sadly.

"That's alright, Charlotte," she said kindly, and I nodded. I wiped the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand, feeling more and more like a child, "Why are you sitting here in the cold? I'll make a fire," she said, and I didn't argue, just watched her point her wand at the hearth. Flames appeared instantaneously, and I stared at them, the tears welling in my eyes again.

Lily turned to the set of fire tools that was always sitting on the side of the fireplace, and looked through them a few times.

"Where's the poker?" she asked, and I shrugged in response, trying hard not to laugh. She blinked at me for a moment, then Summoned a tissue and handed it to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, blowing my nose. I made to hand it back to her, but realized what I was doing and threw it in the fire instead. We both watched it burn before it shriveled up and disappeared. I felt grateful for her company; everything became a lot better just having her there.

"Is this about Sirius?" she inquired suddenly, still looking at the fire, and her words were so unexpected that I was momentarily awestruck. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, and she looked at me, her large eyes sympathetic, "I know you better than anyone, Charlotte," she said quietly.

"How long have you known?" I finally asked, and she smiled sadly before shrugging.

"I've had my suspicions for a while. I wasn't sure of it until the night of the concert,"

"Why were you sure of it then?" I asked incredulously, and she hesitated.

"You thought nobody noticed what happened, but I did," she whispered, and I didn't need clarification to know what she was referring to, "I admire you for stopping him," she added, and I smiled softly and gratefully.

"I don't want to like him, Lily," I sighed, "But I just _do_,"

"I can see why you wouldn't want to," she admitted, "He is a bit…" she trailed off.

"Promiscuous?" I offered, and she laughed.

"Wasn't exactly the word I was thinking of, but I reckon it works," she chuckled.

"He actually _told _me that he never has feelings for girls. That he's just in it for the physical stuff," I told her, and she wrinkled her nose.

"That's terrible. Those poor girls," she shook her head.

"Poor Isabelle, Scarlett, and Mary, you mean?" I asked.

"And you, too," she smiled sadly, "You like him more than any of them did, I can tell,"

"How do you do it?" I asked after a moment of silence in which I burned red and she pointedly looked away.

"Do what?"

"Not fall into his trap,"

"Just lucky, I guess," she shrugged, and her face hardened suddenly, "What did he do to make you cry, Charlotte?"

I froze, unsure what to say. I couldn't tell the truth without revealing numerous secrets I had promised to keep. I shook my head.

"It's just all the emotions finally coming out. Sometimes I think I like him, and sometimes I think I hate him. It's just all too confusing," I said, feeling a bit guilty, though I wasn't lying. Just withholding information.

She stared at me momentarily, but seemed to believe me. She hugged me suddenly, before letting go and looking me in the eye, her hands on my shoulders.

"I would tell you you're better off just forgetting about him, but I know it's easier said than done," she shook her head. It was if she knew exactly what I had been thinking earlier, "These situations are tough. Just…hang in there, and know you can talk to me whenever you have to, alright?" she asked, her maternal tendencies coming out as they often tended to.

"I will. Thanks, Lily," I smiled, and she stood up, holding her hand out to me.

"You're welcome. Now come get ready. We still have class," she said after I put my hand in hers, and began to drag me towards the stairs.

"Ever the prefect," I laughed, and she turned around to grin at me.

We were halfway up the steps when I paused suddenly. She turned again, this time with a questioning look on her face. I stared up at her, my head tilted slightly.

"What's up?" she asked.

"You said 'these situations are tough'," I said.

"Yeah, so?" she shrugged.

"Do you like someone, too?" I pressed, though I knew the question was one that was mostly popular amongst the younger girls. I was already being a child, so I might as well have continued. She hesitated for a fraction of a second before shaking her head and saying:

"Nope,"

Her tone was convincing, but what told me otherwise was the sad smile on her lips.

**A/N: ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! Woo! Thank you all **_**so **_**much, you have no idea how much that means to me.**

**I didn't even mean it to be, but this chapter ended up being pretty long, which is always good, I guess.**

**Thanks for reading, and please continue to review! I love you guys! :)**


	18. Trap

Sirius didn't speak to me for days.

The tension in the air was perceptible to everyone when we were in the same room; all our friends looked between Sirius and me nervously, waiting for one of us to say something, but neither of us did. I couldn't get Sirius, who was suddenly and maddeningly elusive, alone to save my life, and attempting to apologize in front of the others would only make things more awkward for them.

I was full of overwhelming guilt and wished beyond everything that I could take back the things I had said and done. I almost wished he would say some terrible things to me, instead of staying calmly silent whenever I was around, as I deserved whatever he thought of me and hearing what he had to say, no matter how insulting, would be less upsetting than being pointedly ignored.

I found myself not paying attention in every class, choosing instead to stare at the back of his head. I wished crazily that I could somehow learn how to communicate with my mind, and thought "I'm sorry" over and over whilst looking at him. Whether or not it worked, I couldn't know, because he not once turned around.

I was even caught by Professor McGonagall once, which was nothing short of mortifying.

"Miss Witte, if there's something in Mr. Black's hair, perhaps you should tell him," she said quietly to me in passing, "If not, I'd rather you focus your attention on the task I assigned you,"

Luckily, Lily had been the only one to hear, and she had given me a sympathetic look before attempting to assist me in changing the hairstyle of the mannequin head in front of me. My wand was pointed towards its wig, but my mind was still focused on Sirius; I wouldn't have been surprised if I accidentally changed Sirius' hair instead. If I could actually focus enough to perform the spell correctly, that is.

Lily's sympathetic looks were soon commonplace: they happened when Sirius pretended not to hear me at the breakfast table after I requested a plate of hotcakes, when he stood up and moved somewhere else after I sat down on the opposite end of the couch he was on, and when he showed up late to Herbology when there were only two empty chairs left and chose to sit next to Tobias McGinnon, an unfortunate boy who couldn't seem to control his body odor no matter how hard he tried, instead of next to me.

I almost began to resent her, though I knew she was just trying to help; I didn't want to be felt sorry for. She wasn't the only one feeling pity for me, either; James shrugged sadly at me every time Sirius left the room when I came in and Remus attempted to patch things up numerous times, with no avail.

"Just talk to her," I had heard him whisper once at dinner, but Sirius' response was so hushed I couldn't hear it. I didn't have to think hard to know the basic gist of what he had said, however, considering that he did not, in fact, "just talk to me".

Lily, Mary, Isabelle and Scarlett had all asked, of course, why exactly the two of us weren't speaking, but I had mumbled that I didn't want to talk about it, and they dropped it after they realized their constant pestering wasn't helping.

I couldn't help but notice that they all, with the exception of Lily, seemed slightly pleased by the turn of events. They tried to hide their satisfaction as to not look like terrible friends, but I could tell that, even if they didn't think I was a threat, one less girl for Sirius to interact with was good news for them.

The whole situation seemed to be good news for them, because Sirius seemed to lose interest in _all _girls, not just me. As far as I knew, he hadn't snogged anyone since our fight; the few days must have been a record for him. I wasn't entirely sure for his reasoning, but presumed that he was upset about what I had said about him liking to cause others pain. Perhaps he realized that his "physical-only" rule was harmful to others' feelings, but that was only a guess; since he refused to talk to or around me, I couldn't know for sure.

After a while, it seemed as if everyone resented me. They blamed me for the awkward moments in which we were all crowded in the common room and every attempted joke was punctured by the stiffness of the atmosphere.

On one of those nights, I felt suddenly sickened by the glare Isabelle shot me after she suggested a game of Exploded Snap and was met with a response of silence, and stood up.

"I'm going upstairs," I announced to no one in particular, but noticed with a twisting stomach that James looked relieved and Peter actually grinned at Sirius.

"I'll come with you," Lily offered, but I shook my head.

"No, I think I'd rather be alone, thanks," I responded, and my stomach clenched even tighter when she gave me another of those frustrating sympathetic looks. I turned without another word and trudged up the stairs and through the door to our dormitory, closing the door behind me and flouncing down on my bed.

I screamed, the noise muffled by my pillow, then fell silent, lying face down and listening. There were only a few minutes in which no one spoke, but soon I could hear voices and laughter floating up from the common room. I was not at all surprised that everyone was able to ease up once I was gone, but it didn't stop the hurt from burning in my throat.

I flipped over and stared at the ceiling instead. I didn't cry, as all the tears I possessed had come out the morning of the incident in the hospital wing; they were now absorbed into the shoulder of Lily's nightdress, and I almost desired having them back.

Crying would have been nice compared to the empty feeling in my chest. When Sirius stopped speaking to me, it was as if he pulled out my heart and took it with him. I was left numb, the nothingness only punctured with disappointment and guilt.

The voices outside suddenly got louder, and there were a few more unidentifiable noises before someone knocked on the door. I sat up, hoping, though I knew there was no chance, that it was Sirius standing outside it.

"Charlotte?" a voice rang out, and my hope deflated again.

"Go away, Remus," I yelled, turning away from the door.

"That's hardly fair. I just want to talk," he yelled back, sounding slightly amused, and, feeling a surge of anger, I got out of bed and stormed to the door, throwing it open so hard it slammed against the wall. He was smiling, but winced at the look on my face.

"Nothing about this situation is funny," I said coldly, and he nodded sadly, looking apologetic.

"I know, I'm sorry. May I come in?" he asked, and, my anger disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, I sighed, stepping aside and letting him into the room.

"I still don't understand how you guys manage to get up here," I told him, watching from the doorway as he looked around. His face burned when his eyes landed on the bra by the foot of Mary's bed, and turned his gaze back to me. I couldn't help but smile slightly at his embarrassment, and he smiled awkwardly as well.

"I won't say, but I reckon there's a reason they try to keep us out," he chuckled, and I finally closed the door, walking in and sitting on the edge of my bed. He hesitated, but I nodded slightly, and he sat next to me, looking uncomfortable. I waved my wand, cleaning up Mary's mess, and he sighed, clearly relieved.

"You said you want to talk," I pressed after a moment of silence.

"Er, right," he responded, "Are you ok?" he asked, peering at me. I flushed, turning my eyes downward.

"No," I answered truthfully.

"Sirius is just being thick, he'll come around eventually," Remus tried to say reassuringly, but I shook my head vigorously.

"No, the things I said were _horrible_," I whispered, "I _feel _horrible. This is all horrible," I rambled, and he pressed a hand on my shoulder, which I didn't realize was shaking until then.

"What did you say to him, Charlotte?" he asked softly, and I shook my head again.

"I can't repeat it,"

"Please," he urged, and I stared at his concerned face.

"I called him reckless," I began, and Remus cut in.

"That's hardly horrible-" he started to say, but I interrupted, speaking quickly.

"I told him he runs around with a werewolf…with you…for fun. And," I paused to take a shaky breath before I relayed the worst of it all, "I told him he finds pleasure in the pain of others,"

"Oh," Remus breathed, and I avoided his gaze; repeating the words had made me feel even worse, and the tears I thought I didn't have began to press against the back of my eyes.

"I went too far. I know I did, but he won't let me apologize," I choked out.

"You did," he admitted, "But did you actually mean it?"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly, "No, I didn't,"

"Then tell him that,"

"I _can't_. He won't_ let _me," I repeated, and Remus seemed to think for a moment. He stood up suddenly, walking over to the window and opening it.

"Accio stones," he muttered, and two small rocks came floating in. I continued to watch, entirely confused, as he mumbled some incomprehensible spell under his breath, waving his wand. The rocks momentarily glowed red; he pocketed one, and handed one to me.

"What is this?" I asked, bewildered.

"I'm going to get rid of everyone else, until it's just him and me. Then I'll leave. When I squeeze this," he motioned towards the stone in his pocket, "Yours will turn red. Go downstairs right away when that happens," he advocated, walking to the door.

"You're a genius," I told him, taken aback and feeling extremely impressed, "But how are you going to get everyone else to leave?"

"Leave that to me. You just sit tight and wait," he said, and turned towards me and grinned, one hand on the doorknob.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, and his smile widened.

"I hate seeing my friends angry with each other. Besides, it can't be pleasant when the bloke you've fallen for won't speak to you," he said, raising an eyebrow. I froze, my eyes wide.

"I-I'm not…I don't, I-" I stammered, feeling my cheeks burn, and he laughed kindly.

"Whatever you say, Charlotte," he chuckled.

"_Damn _it, does _everyone_ know?" I exclaimed, throwing my hands over my head in exasperation.

"No one but Lily and me, as far as I know," he shook his head. I froze again, narrowing my eyes.

"You talked to Lily about it?" I asked incredulously, and he grinned mischievously.

"Fun topic to talk about," he shrugged, and I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

"I'm helping you here, I don't think you want to maim me," he smiled, dodging the pillow with surprising ease.

"Thanks, Remus," I sighed, and he nodded, leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. I placed the stone he gave me on my nightstand, and sat for what seemed like ages, staring at it and waiting for it to change colors.

Finally, it momentarily glowed red, and, with a sharp intake of breath, I stood up, walking towards the door. I opened it and peeked my head around the corner, noticing that Sirius was sitting alone in a chair. I stared for a few nervous moments, and realized with a start that he wasn't moving, with the exception of his eyeballs, which were darting everywhere under narrowed eyelids.

I almost laughed out loud at Remus' nerve, and walked slowly down the stairs and up to him. His eyes landed on me, and I was sure they would have narrowed even further if they could.

"Using Petrificus Totalus was not my idea, I swear," I told him, my voice cracking slightly, "Please don't run when I undo the spell,"

His eyes didn't move, and I hesitated before waving my wand. His body slackened, and he sighed in defeat, but didn't say a word. Not taking my gaze off of him, I sat down on the couch, anxiously playing with my necklace.

"You're still wearing that," he spoke suddenly, his eyes following my hand. I dropped the necklace suddenly, having momentarily forgotten that it was from him, but he still stared at the dog-shaped charm resting against my chest.

"Never take it off," I responded, and added nervously, "Are you still wearing the bracelet?"

He didn't speak again, but shook back his sleeve, revealing the leather band around his wrist. My confidence was boosted by the sight of it, and I straightened up.

"How did Remus get the others out?" I inquired, and he sighed again, staring into the fire.

"They're all thick in the head. All he had to do was say there was something out in the corridor that they had to see and they all went running. I stayed back to ask him what he really wanted, but he cursed me before I had the chance," he said bitterly, still refusing to look at me.

"He's brilliant," I chuckled nervously in an attempt to lighten the mood. Sirius finally turned his eyes towards me, but they were flashing; I had the sudden impression that I had said something wrong.

"What do you want, Charlotte?" he asked, his voice lacking any warmth.

"I…I want to apologize," I said, failing to keep my voice level.

"Go on then," he pressed, and I took a deep breath.

"I only said the things that I said because I was angry that you thought me stupid. My feelings were hurt, and I retaliated without thinking. Gryffindor temper, you know," I tried to joke again, but there was no hint of a smile on his lips, "Right. Well. I only got angrier when you wouldn't let me explain myself. I know that you were just scared for my safety, and I shouldn't have gotten angry at all,"

"No, you shouldn't have," he agreed, and I took another breath before continuing.

"I didn't mean what I said. Any of it. Well, except the part about you being reckless. But the other things were uncalled for, and I didn't mean them at all, I promise,"

My voice was growing considerably higher pitched with each syllable, and, by the end, I realized with humiliation that were hot tears squeezing out of the corners of my eyes. Sirius seemed to notice as well, because his expression softened.

"Don't cry. Crying girls are my weakness," he begged, and the miniscule smile beginning to appear on his features gave me such a surge of relief that I burst into tears for the second time in less than a week.

"I'm…sorry…" I squeaked in between sobs, and Sirius looked completely bewildered for a moment. He hesitantly got up and came over to me, sitting down on the couch next to me and enveloping me in a hug.

"If I say I forgive you, will you stop crying?" he asked in a pleading tone of voice, while patting me on the back. I cried into his shoulder for a few moments longer, basking in the feel of his body against mine, his hair grazing my cheek, his scent tickling my nose. With incredible self-control, I pulled away and sniffed a few times, staring at him gratefully.

"_Do_ you forgive me?" I asked, and he bit his lip, then nodded.

"You've cried because of me twice now, I think I have to," he smiled sadly, and I blinked at him through watery eyes.

"Twice?"

"I wasn't asleep and you were pretty loud," he admitted, looking guilty, and I didn't have to ask to know what he was talking about. I felt my cheeks flush again, embarrassed that he knew how terribly I had cried over him.

"You're just one of my best friends, and I can't handle my friends being mad at me," I told him in false explanation, my voice still squeaky. Something unrecognizable flashed across his face, but he smiled again, nodding.

"I understand. I'm sorry I made you cry," he said, and reached out, brushing a stray tear off my cheek with his finger. I inhaled sharply, wishing his hand would linger, but he dropped it after an entirely too short moment.

"It's my fault for saying what I did," I whispered.

"If I had given you the benefit of the doubt in the first place…" he trailed off, looking remorseful again.

"It was a bit too coincidental. I wouldn't have believed myself either," I admitted, and he smiled again, but it disappeared and he looked at me sadly.

"You really didn't mean anything you said?" he inquired, "Because I've been thinking a lot about the last thing, and I reckon you were right,"

"No," I said firmly, "I wasn't. You care about others more than yourself, Sirius," I told him, but he was still pouting.

"Not always," he sighed, "Which is why the plan is off again. Definitively this time,"

"No!" I repeated, and he blinked at me, "I care about others, too, and this case I mean you. The plan is _not _off,"

"It is, too,"

"It is not,"

"Is, too,"

"Is not,"

"We're acting like children again," he sighed, but smiled feebly at me, "Just give it up,"

"I won't," I said, "If you quit, I'll just do it myself,"

"You can't," he gasped, his eyes widening, "I won't let you,"

"You can't stop me," I said stubbornly, and there was a heart-stopping moment of silence in which I was scared he would be angry with me again. Instead of storming off as I half expected him to, he grinned suddenly, shaking his head.

"You're absolutely impossible," he scoffed, still smiling.

"I could say the same about you," I sniffed, and he waggled his eyebrows.

"Guess that's what makes us a great pair, love," he smirked, and I was momentarily lost for words. He turned his attention away from me, giving me a chance to remember how to breathe, and looked towards the portrait hole.

"What-" I began, but he held up a finger, silencing me.

"We made up, so you can stop listening at the door now," he yelled loudly, and there was a dull thudding noise and a yelp of pain. The portrait slid open and our friends walked in, all of them grinning, even James, who was rubbing his head and wincing. They were followed by a group of younger students, all of which were looking cross and grumbling angrily under their breath.

"I misused my prefect privileges and wouldn't let anyone in," Lily explained as the younger students glared at Sirius and me.

"Lily Evans took advantage of her power?" I gasped theatrically.

"Don't get used to it," she smiled, throwing herself down onto a chair.

"I owe you a 'thank you'," I said, turning to Remus.

"We _all _owe him one," Scarlett exclaimed, "Dealing with the two of you has been awful," she groaned.

"My deepest apologies," Sirius said solemnly, diving into a deep bow, "It won't happen again,"

"Better not," Mary grumbled, "I'm going to bed, and if I wake up in the morning to find you two not speaking to each other again, I'm shipping you off to separate corners of the Earth," she exclaimed, cranky as she always was when tired, and ran up the stairs to the dormitories.

"In all honesty, though, don't ever be angry with each other ever again," James said, still rubbing his head, "I can't deal with the tension,"

"No promises. Charlotte can be a piece of work," Sirius sighed, lying back against the arm of the couch and placing his feet in my lap. I burned red, trying to look as if this was completely normal and that it didn't have any effect on me whatsoever. Both Lily and Remus looked at me, smiling knowingly, and I was resisting the urge to stick my tongue out at them when Mary's voice came screeching down from above, causing both Remus and I to fall into fits of hysterical laughter:

"Charlotte, where the bloody hell did you put my bra?"

**A/N: Those of you who also read my other story must think I'm having some sort of fluff obsession today, but, I swear, all the fluffiness is purely coincidental. ;)**

**Thanks for all the fantastic reviews, and thanks for reading!**

**Hope you're all happy that Sirius and Charlotte made up, I know I am. :)**


	19. Wrong

Everyone at the Gryffindor table turned to stare the next morning when an owl flew face first into my bowl of oatmeal, splattering it everywhere, and I squealed loud enough to cause Nearly Headless Nick to float away, mumbling "Of all the things to scream about…" under his breath. I didn't pay him any attention, as he was often bitter about his severed neck, and attempted to spit the oatmeal off my lips instead.

I could hear all my friends roaring with laughter at the sight of me, and I turned to glare at Lily, who picked up the owl tenderly and cowered under my angry look, smiling apologetically.

"Sorry about that. He's a bit old," she said, and siphoned the oatmeal off of the bird with her wand. I waited impatiently, and when she started to untie the scroll tied to the owl's foot, I scoffed in disbelief. She turned to me, wide-eyed, "Oh, right, sorry," she winced, and got rid of the oatmeal on my face as well.

"What did you do that for?" Sirius asked, "I thought it was a good look for her,"

"Shut up," I told him bitterly, and James choked on his eggs as he tried to hold back another laugh.

"Who are you bringing me a letter from? I didn't send you to anyone," I heard Lily say to her owl quietly, and I turned away from Sirius and James, who were now attempting to build a catapult out of breadsticks, to watch as she unraveled the piece of parchment. Her eyes scanned it, and her face stiffened. She scowled and almost ripped the paper in disgust before I reached out a hand to stop her.

"What is it?" I asked softly, and she glanced up at me, hesitating before she thrust the note at me. I took it from her hand, a bit nervous to see what it said. The words on the paper were written carefully, and the writing was dainty and impressively neat:

_Please talk to me. I'm still sorry. – S_

I didn't have to ask to know who it was from, and I looked back up at Lily, who was now staring at the Slytherin table with her hand in her chin, looking cross.

"He's still writing to you?" I asked, and memories of Snape and his boggart came rushing into my mind. I pretended to focus on the forgotten bowl in front of me, pulling a few feathers out of it and wrinkling my nose.

"He won't leave me alone," she whispered, "He even used _my _owl to send _me _a letter. How desperate can he possibly be?" she said angrily, but the question seemed rhetorical, so I stayed silent. My thoughts wandered back to the look on Snape's face when the image of Lily and James popped up in front of him; I had never seen someone look so disgusted and so _heartbroken _at the same time.

I looked at Lily, who was now picking at the muffin on her plate half-heartedly, and then at Snape, who was slouched against the Slytherin table and looking as glum as always. I realized that he glanced up at Lily every few moments, remaining so still that the eye movement was barely detectable. I continued to stare, until he suddenly glanced at me instead, his eyes narrowing slightly. Flustered, I dropped my gaze.

Lily sighed sadly, and I looked at her again. I knew it still pained her that her relationship with Snape had gone so wrong; they had been extremely close for such a long time. She had told me about how their friendship had developed before they even came to Hogwarts, something I couldn't say about anyone in the school.

She always said that it was for the best, that he was a bit _too_ interested in the Dark Arts for her liking. But I could tell that part of her wished that he had never called her a Mudblood, so she wouldn't have an excuse to not speak to him anymore.

I debated telling her what I had seen, that I knew Snape was in love with her, but I reckoned it wouldn't help much; if anything, it could make the situation even worse. But there was a guilty, aching feeling in my stomach that told me she had a right to know, and at least she would understand why he kept begging her to talk to him again.

"Lily-" I began, but James groaned in exasperation at that exact moment, drowning me out.

"This isn't working," he complained as the bread contraption he and Sirius were trying to build fell apart.

"It's a good thing we're wizards then, isn't it?" Sirius grinned mischievously, waving his wand. The catapult formed of its own accord, and his smile widened as he grabbed a hard-boiled egg and placed it on top, "Watch this," he said loudly, and we all turned to watch with slight trepidation. He waved his wand again, and the catapult shot upwards, flinging the egg into the air.

It reached a surprising height and shot across the room at a rapid face. I failed to suppress as a gasp when it reached the Slytherin table and hit Snape, who had been distracted by something Avery was saying, straight on the forehead before bouncing away under the table. He whirled around, looking straight at Sirius, who waggled his fingers at him and smiled sweetly. He jumped up, his robes swirling around him, and stalked out of the Great Hall angrily; I noticed that he shot Lily a particularly dark look before he disappeared through the doorway. The Slytherins all jeered at us from their seats, and were picking up things to throw back right when Slughorn walked past.

"Your aim is incredible," Remus breathed in awe, watching with amusement as the Potions professor reprimanded the Slytherins, all of whom glared at us with hatred after he walked away.

"Thanks," Sirius beamed, looking extremely proud, but jumped when Lily snapped at him.

"_Sirius!_" she exclaimed, her nostrils flaring.

"Yes?" he tried to ask innocently, but a hint of guilt flashed across his face.

"You're seventeen years old, yet you act like you're _five_," she hissed, standing up. Her fiery red hair whipped around her face ominously, and her green eyes were flashing.

"I hardly think a five year old would have been able to pull that off-" James began, but wilted under the furious look Lily gave him.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," she said coldly.

"But-" Sirius began.

"You can't-" James sputtered.

"Your own House-" Remus' eyes widened.

"How could-" Peter's lower lip wobbled.

"Lily-" Scarlett exclaimed.

"I don't believe-" Mary scoffed.

"Just because you're-" Isabelle huffed.

"ENOUGH," Lily shouted, and the rest of the table looked over at us for the second time. She turned wordlessly and walked away towards the door. We all stared after her, momentarily speechless and shocked that she would actually do what she had always threatened to but had never actually gone through with.

"I didn't realize she still cared about Snivellus that much," James said quietly, and I noticed a hint of bitterness in his voice; he had always been jealous of Lily and Snape's relationship, and not one person in the entire castle had been happier than him to see the friendship go down in flames.

"Me neither," Sirius shook his head, looking dumbfounded and ashamed.

"She's angry because Snape thinks she asked you to do it," I said, suddenly realizing why Snape had looked at Lily in such an accusatory way. He knew she had just read his letter, even if James and Sirius didn't; he must have thought she was so tired of his constant attempts to contact her that she snapped and asked her friends to punish him for it.

"How could you possibly know that?" Sirius blinked at me.

"I know _her_," I explained, "You'd better apologize,"

"To her or to _him_?" he asked, looking bewildered at the thought of telling Snape he was sorry.

I shrugged, and stood up.

"That's for you to decide. I'm going to go find Lily," I said, and hurried out the door without waiting for a response. It wasn't until after I had wandered down the corridor for a few moments that I realized I had no idea where to look for her. She could have either gone up to the common room or straight to the greenhouses for our first lesson of the day.

Or, in another option which seemed most Lily-like, she could have followed Snape. The only problem with that was that I could have no way of knowing which way Snape went; deciding on the most obvious, I turned in the opposite direction and went down the stairs to the dungeons. I walked through the main corridor, past the Potions classroom, and was just about to lose hope and turn back when I caught a glimpse of red hair in a small hallway leading off from the main one.

I tentatively rounded the corner to find her sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, looking strangely calm.

"Lily?" I asked hesitantly, and she continued to stare at the wall opposite her, not looking up at me.

"He called me it again," she said quietly, and I sat down next to her, "I was just trying to tell him it wasn't my idea, but he didn't give me the chance," she continued, and I was reminded of the similar situation I was in with Sirius, in which I wanted to explain myself but wasn't given the opportunity.

"I'm sorry, Lily," I whispered, unsure what else to say.

"He said, 'I don't need apologies from Mudbloods like you'," she shook her head, "And then his eyes got all wide and he said he was sorry a couple hundred times, but I threatened to hex him into the next century if he didn't leave me alone,"

I smiled sadly, able to imagine the scene, and Lily's feistiness, perfectly. I glanced at her; she was still staring at the wall, but there was a slight watering in her eyes that took me aback. I had said that I hardly ever cried, but Lily made me look like a blubbering baby in comparison; not once had I seen her in tears.

"Lily," I began, my heart thudding slightly as a thought popped into my head, "When you said you _didn't_ like anyone," I continued, adding emphasis on the word "didn't" to show that I meant the opposite, "You weren't talking about Snape, were you?"

She turned to look at me finally, her eyes wide, and all traces of tears were gone. She stared for a few moments, before laughing loudly in disbelief.

"Absolutely _not_," she exclaimed, and I was met with a wave of relief.

"Who, then?" I asked, and she studied me.

"I know about your feelings for Sirius, so I reckon it's only fair, right?" she asked, but she seemed to be questioning herself more than me. I waited, and she blinked a few times before sighing and burying her face in her hands, "Jbafeth," she groaned with her lips pressed against her palms

"Jbafeth," I repeated, "Don't think I know him,"

She lifted her face, her hands still held out in front of her like an open book, and her cheeks darkened to a color incredibly similar to her hair. I gaped, still not used to seeing Lily blush.

"I _said_," she hesitated, and swallowed, as if forcing the words out of her mouth was an incredibly difficult task, "James," she mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I must be mistaken, I thought you said _James_," I said, and she closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall.

"I did," she sighed, and my mouth dropped. I sat silently for a few seconds, and she opened her eyes again, but the flush on her cheeks didn't disappear.

"I…wow, that's …I thought…what?" I stammered stupidly, and she laughed darkly.

"I'm just as surprised as you are," she admitted, shaking her head slightly.

"But you _know _James is in love with you. Why haven't you said anything?" I exclaimed, unable to wrap my head around the concept. If I knew for a fact that Sirius had feelings for me that were anything _close _to the ones I had for him, I would pounce on him like a niffler on buried treasure. I already barely managed to keep myself from doing just that, and that was while convinced that he had no attraction to me whatsoever.

"I don't _want _to," Lily whined uncharacteristically, exasperated, "Sometimes I think I like him, but then he goes and pulls a stunt like that and all my feelings disappear,"

"In all fairness, it was Sirius' fault. James didn't have much to do with it," I pointed out, and she shot me a look.

"You know what I mean. I could name tons of other examples,"

"Right," I nodded slowly. I understood the coming and going of feelings all too well, and how confusing it could be to be sickened by the thought of someone at one moment and want to express undying love for them at the next. It was _exhausting._

"Just don't say anything, alright?" she asked in a pleading tone, her eyebrows etched together.

"Well, shit, I was planning on running around yelling 'Hey, guess what everyone? Lily likes James!' at the top of my lungs," I smiled, and she batted me on the arm, laughing.

I was just beginning to stand up from my spot on the floor, as the concrete was beginning to make my bum ache, when I saw a gray eye widen and a streak of dark hair fly through the air as someone tore their head away from the corner and tried to run.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I yelled without thinking, my wand already clutched in my hand, and the person fell forward, hidden from view. Lily muttered some choice words under her breath, her wand held tightly as well, and we both stood and nervously walked forward. I had my suspicions as to who the eavesdropper was, and my heart rate quickened as we turned the corner.

Sure enough, Sirius was lying face-down on the floor; I had spent so much time staring at the back of his head that I had no doubt it was him I was looking down at. Lily looked absolutely plagued, her eyes wide and frightful, and I shared much of the same feelings as I hesitantly waved my wand to free him from the body-bind.

"Twice in two days," he complained after regaining movement, sitting up and rubbing his head where it hit the ground. A lovely bump was starting to form; I thought of James', which he got from hitting his head on the portrait the night before, and almost laughed at the thought of them matching before I realized what a dire situation we were in.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked, and her voice was unnaturally high-pitched.

"I came to find you to apologize," he said, looking even guiltier than he had in the Great Hall, but a smirk was fighting to appear on his lips. I had no suspicions as to how he had managed to find us; the top of the parchment I knew to be the Marauder's Map was sticking out of his pocket.

"How much did you hear?" I asked, my tone matching Lily's and my mind swimming. I thought selfishly about how she had mentioned my feelings for Sirius earlier in the conversation, and my hands began to shake slightly. He looked at me for a moment, his eyes wide, before responding.

"I got here right when you said something along the lines of 'Sorry, I thought you said James'," he said, and I felt a wave of relief pass over me, before it was replaced with a panicky feeling for Lily's sake. She was wringing her hands, and was looking down at Sirius' satisfied smile with an expression that made me think she was about to be sick.

"You _can't_ say anything," she begged, and Sirius blinked up at her.

"He's my best friend. You can't _possibly_ expect me to keep something like this from him," he gaped.

"You have to!" she exclaimed.

"All you're going to do is give him false hope, Sirius," I cut in, "She doesn't want to be with him. It'd be like telling him he's getting a new television for Christmas, and then giving him a pair of socks instead," I said bitterly, thinking of my Uncle Darius and his false promises.

"Sorry, a tele-_what_?" Sirius asked, snapping me out of my thoughts about how it wasn't even a _good _pair of socks, his eyebrows raised in confusion. I momentarily forgot what I was about to say; he looked so cute when he was befuddled.

"It's a Muggle thing, though I have no idea what she's talking about," Lily explained, looking amused, but she seemed to remember what we were doing and lifted her wand, pointing it at Sirius. I flushed, embarrassed, before doing the same, though I wasn't entirely sure why.

"You're not going to tell him," she said firmly, and Sirius stared up at her for a few moments before nodding. His eyes kept flickering towards me, but they never lingered for more than a split second.

"Fine, I'm not going to tell him," he repeated, but something in his tone made me feel uncertain. I reckoned Lily felt the same way, for she waved her wand and muttered something under her breath. I dropped my own wand, watching her with bewilderment.

"No, you're not," she said again, smiling this time, and Sirius' smirk disappeared entirely.

"What did you just do?" he asked, and Lily laughed.

"If you decide to go back on what you said, let's just say you won't be happy," she grinned mischievously, and Sirius' eyes widened.

"What did you _do_?" he repeated.

"If you don't want all your hair to fall out, just don't say a word to James," she shrugged, her eyes glinting, and Sirius yelped, his hands on his head. He seemed to be pressing his hair against his scalp as if afraid it would disappear at any moment. I gaped, both amused and shocked, before pulling Lily to the side where Sirius couldn't hear us. I doubted he would be paying attention even if he could, as he was now pulling his hand away from his head and staring at it, presumably checking if any of his hair came off with it.

"How did you do that?" I asked incredulously, and Lily wiggled her eyebrows at me. For a moment, her actions reminded me of James; irony was a beautiful thing sometimes.

"I didn't, I just made him think I did," she grinned.

"You're _diabolical_," I whispered, impressed, and she giggled slightly.

"I like to think that I can be clever every once in a while," she smiled, but the look was replaced by one of worry as the sound of feet came pounding down the stairs and numerous voices drifted towards us, "Class is starting soon, I don't want to be late to Herbology," she exclaimed, and hurried against the swarm of students heading towards the Potions classroom to get to the stairs.

"Let's go, Baldy," I laughed as Sirius scrambled up from the floor, scowling. He fell into step beside me, looking so upset that I almost considered telling him that Lily's spell was fake just to get him to smile, but decided against it, "You'll be fine, just don't tell James what you heard," I tried to say reassuringly, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"You two coming?" Lily called from the foot of the stairs, and I quickened my pace, pushing past a large group of third year Hufflepuffs. Sirius trailed along behind me, and we silently made our way to the greenhouses.

I was grateful for the lack of conversation, as it gave me time to think about how complicated things had become; Lily and Remus knew about my feelings for Sirius, and Sirius and I knew about Lily's feelings for James. I tried to convince myself that everything would be fine and all included parties would keep their secrets, but my more rational side laughed in disbelief.

There was so much that could go wrong.

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I even got my first review threatening me to update or **_**else**_**, thanks to BoundToBeAWeasley, which is incredible. Thank you thank you thank you! To all of you!**

**Also, to Ali, since you're a guest and I can't send you a PM, each chapter takes me about two to three hours to write. Thanks for your review as well, it was the longest, as always, and **_**very **_**appreciated, also as always. **

**Thanks to all my new followers, and thank you for reading! :)**


	20. Misunderstood

Sirius wasn't bringing up the plan again, but, this time, instead of relieved, I felt impatient.

He had tried to call it off so many times that, in the course of convincing him that we had to go through with it, I managed to convince myself as well. My initial fear was replaced with a feeling of satisfaction as I imagined the Slytherins' reactions to whatever we did to them.

I even tried to think of something on my own, worried that Sirius had actually quit and I would have to keep my word and do it myself. My mind, however, only had space for schoolwork, keeping the multitude of secrets I was trusted with, and fantasizing about Sirius. Whether the fantasies involved kissing him or watching him get mauled by a hippogriff varied depending on the amount of time since I had last seen him snog a girl, but, either way, my poor brain barely had any spare room left, and definitely not enough for dreaming up a worthy scheme.

I needed Sirius' help. The notorious prankster, one quarter of the group known as biggest troublemakers in school, and the only person who could think of a plan that didn't involve putting me in grave danger; all of the plots I scribbled in my journal were scratched out after I managed to think of forty ways that they could lead to my untimely death.

Enlisting the help of any of the other Marauders was a possibility that only crossed my mind for a split second. I couldn't; I wasn't exactly a goody two-shoes, but none of them would believe me if I said I thought of the idea to prank a bunch of Slytherins all on my own.

One night, while writing down a particularly desperate idea that involved Bowtruckles and a Tooth-Growing Spell, I shut my journal with an exasperated groan and looked around for Sirius. I scanned the common room a few times, and was about to ask Lily, who was flipping through the Daily Prophet next to me, if she knew where he was, when I spotted him.

It wasn't surprising that I had managed to look right past him, as he and the girl he was intertwined with were pressed together so closely that it was practically impossible to tell where her body ended and his began. I blinked, already conjuring up images of hippogriff hoof-shaped indentations on Sirius' face.

It had been a while since I had seen Sirius canoodling with someone in the common room; lately, his prospects were from other Houses, so his "romantic" endeavors were normally in empty corridors and isolated courtyards. I reckoned that he had run out of girls and was attempting to rekindle old flames. It couldn't be too difficult. It didn't matter how brutally he had broken a girl's heart; they _all _still got dreamy expressions on their faces when they looked at him.

Not that I blamed them. He _did _look like he could be the model on a bottle of love potion; heavenly smile, sultry eyes, and luscious hair included.

Sure enough, Sirius and the girl broke apart momentarily, presumably to catch their breath, and I caught a glimpse of her face. Zara Murray, with her heart-shaped lips and undeniably and frustratingly perky bum, was a year below us and caught the attention of plenty of guys, Sirius included; she was one of his longest relationships, by which I mean the two lasted a whole three months in our fifth year.

I felt a surge of animosity and, by the looks of things, I wasn't the only one. Scarlett was sneaking covert glances over the top of her diary; I reckoned she was trying to see Zara as well as possible to assure that her hag rendition of the girl was accurate. Mary and Peter were in the middle of a conversation; he was speaking excitedly about something, but from the way her narrowed eyes were leveled above his left shoulder, it was clear what she was really focused on. Isabelle wasn't even attempting to be discreet; she was outright staring with such irritation it was a wonder that steam wasn't coming out of her ears.

"Don't look, Charlotte," Lily whispered, and I whipped my head around to look at her. I hadn't even noticed that I was still holding my journal; my fingers were pressed into it so hard that I had left dents on the leather surface.

"Hold this," I spat, and thrust the journal at her unceremoniously. She took it, looking wary, and I stood up angrily.

"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously, but I ignored her, opting instead to act upon my sudden determination before it disappeared.

I took a second to fix my hair and brush off my robes, so that I would at least look presentable while rudely interrupting something that technically wasn't any of my business. I paused, however, when Remus snickered from behind me.

"Just what exactly are you trying to do?" he asked with a small smile, lowering his book to stare at me knowingly. I scowled at him, racking my mind for an acceptable answer, as I actually had no clue. My initial plan had just been to march up, pry the two apart, and maybe punch Zara in the face for good measure.

"I'm going to tell them that this is a public area and that, if they want to slobber all over each other like dogs, they should go somewhere else," I said finally, and James grinned from his perch on the couch next to Lily. For a second, I thought that Remus hadn't kept his promise and spilled the secret, and I was about to wheel on him when James spoke.

"Like dogs, you say?" he smirked, and I stared at him silently for a moment, until his words finally clicked and I laughed. Remus chuckled as well, and Lily, the only one who had been bothering to listen to the conversation, looked between the three of us with a look of utter bewilderment on her face.

"I know I'm usually the last to laugh at James' jokes," she began, and James frowned slightly. I did notice, however, that she had allowed him to sit much closer than she normally would. Lily continued, furrowing her eyebrows, "But this one I really don't understand,"

"Ah, well, the minds of the innocent," James winked, and Lily stared at him before shaking her head and turning back to the newspaper in her hands.

"I really don't want to know," she said, and it took a great deal of self-control to keep myself from laughing again. I stole another glance at Sirius and Zara; her shirt had ridden up and his hands were on the exposed skin of her waist. I huffed, no longer feeling any desire to laugh.

"Charlotte, just sit down," Remus pleaded, seeing the angry look return to my face.

"I say, if she wants to do it, let her. It really isn't the most pleasant scenery," James chimed in, glancing over at the couple and wrinkling his nose.

"I agree," Lily said, and James' eyes widened in surprise before he smiled, pleased to have Lily's approval for once, though I knew she had only said it for my sake.

"Though, if you'd be willing to try it out, just to see it from Sirius' point of view…" James teased, ruining the nice moment he had managed to create, and Lily's nostrils flared.

"I think I've used up the word 'pig' already. How's 'swine' sound?" she asked, feigning sweetness.

"Right, well," Remus said loudly, "If you must, Charlotte. I suppose Sirius can use being told off for once in his life, seeing as he normally gets away with everything," he conceded.

In the time that it had taken to convince the others to let me go, I had lost the confidence and determination I had originally possessed. I clenched and unclenched my fingers a few times, attempting to work up my nerve again, as it would have been embarrassing not to do it now that I had made such a big fuss. A rush of courage ran through me as Sirius' hands travelled farther up, and I stomped towards the corner.

"Ehem," I cleared my throat, standing over the two, but they paid me no mind.

"EHEM," I repeated, louder this time, and they froze before slowly and reluctantly unlatching themselves from each other. I was almost surprised when there wasn't a noise of released suction when their lips broke apart.

They looked up at me; Zara looked ticked, her lips pursed and one eyebrow cocked. Sirius, on the other hand, appeared surprised at first, then his expression set into one of concern.

"Is there something wrong, Charlotte?" he asked, and there was such tenderness in his voice that I forgot my entire purpose in walking up to him. He blinked up at me with wide eyes, and it was as if Zara wasn't even there. She seemed to notice this, too, because she looked at Sirius with resentment, tapping her foot impatiently.

"No, I…" I trailed off, still lacking the ability to remember what I had been planning to say, "I just want to talk to you," I said stupidly, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Can't it wait?" Zara asked, peeved, and I suddenly felt guilty. I took a step backwards, flushing red.

"I suppose it can," I muttered, and was about to turn and walk back to the couch, humiliated, when Sirius stopped me.

"No, we can talk," he said, surprising both Zara and me.

"_Sirius_," she whined, and he shot her a sweet smile that could melt the strongest of resolves.

"We can finish our conversation later," he told her, and I scoffed at his word choice. He gave me a strange look, and I resisted the urge to clap my hand over my mouth.

"Fine," she huffed, standing up and flouncing off to the opposite corner of the room, where she threw herself into a chair and stared at us with her arms crossed over her chest.

"If she's going to be looking at us like that the whole time, I think we'd be better off talking some other time," I said, staring back at her. She didn't take her eyes off of us; even from a distance, I could see her pupils moving from left to right, looking between us with a look of pure irritation.

"Ignore her," Sirius waved a hand, turning towards me and ushering towards the now unoccupied seat next to him, "What's up?"

"Uh, well," I stammered, not entirely sure what to say, as I lowered myself down onto the bench. _I stormed over here because seeing you kiss her makes me want to throw both of you into the Lake and let the squid deal with you? _No, too vicious. _I interrupted your snogfest because it hurts my heart to see you with someone else? _No, too sensitive. _I did you a favor because I heard that Zara has more diseases than a flea-ridden banshee? _Tempting, but I was a terrible liar.

"Yes?" Sirius pressed.

"I noticed that you have hair," I laughed awkwardly, and immediately winced. There were _definitely _much better options than _that._

"Riiight," Sirius said slowly, looking confused, "I've had it for about seventeen years, but thank you for noticing,"

"No, I mean," I burned red, "You haven't lost it yet. Meaning you haven't told anyone about what you heard," Just because _I _knew that Lily hadn't actually cursed him, didn't mean that I couldn't play on it.

"Oh. Yeah, that," he nodded, "I've been extremely tempted, but I always catch myself at the last second,"

"Do you?" I asked stupidly.

"I do. James probably thinks I'm going mad. I keep grabbing my head and running away from him," he chuckled.

"That's funny," I said just as awkwardly, and he gave me another strange look. He took a breath as if to say something, closed his mouth as if he thought better of it, and then opened it again.

"Is this all you wanted to say?" he asked, and I shook my head vigorously, though there was nothing else I wanted to say specifically. I just didn't want to walk away and leave Zara free to do whatever she wanted to do to him again.

"I wanted to ask about the plan," I responded after a moment of hesitation.

"Ah," he said mysteriously, "The plan,"

"Yes, the plan," I repeated, and we looked at each other silently for a few seconds. Usually, I was the first to look away from him, as it was my face that grew too hot for me to handle, but, surprisingly, he lowered his gaze before I did, staring instead at his hands. They were folded on his laps, his fingers intertwined, and I was reminded of when he had held my hand on the day of the boggart situation.

"Do you _really _want to go through with it?" he asked, still not looking at me, and I was shaken out of my hand-holding fantasies.

"Of course I do," I said firmly, meaning it this time as opposed to all the others. He smiled feebly, finally glancing up.

"I'm assuming I'm going to have come up with the idea?" he guessed, though it sounded slightly more like a statement than a question.

"I've tried, I really have. I'm just no good at these types of things," I confessed, and he chuckled.

"Tell me what you've come up with,"

"No,"

"Please?"

"No,"

"For me?"

"Alright," I agreed finally, "Wait a second," I scurried over to where Lily was sitting. My journal was lying on the table in front of her, and I grabbed it, not stopping to explain what I was doing. I had the crazy notion that, if I didn't make it back to Sirius as quickly as possible, Zara would swoop in like a barn owl and steal my spot.

"You wrote it down?" Sirius asked, amused, as I flipped through the pages of the journal and handed it to him once it was on the right page. I felt momentarily grateful that I wasn't the type to write "Mrs. Sirius Black" surrounded in hearts and flowers all over the parchment. I, like everyone else, had indeed gotten a glimpse of Scarlett's diary in the past; if hers fell into Sirius' hands, she would have plenty of reason to die from mortification.

"It helps me think clearer," I muttered as he scanned over the pages. His lips twitched every so often, and I could tell it was taking a lot of willpower to keep him from laughing out loud at my ludicrous ideas. It didn't take long before he was unable to withhold himself, and a disbelieving guffaw came sputtering out of his lips.

"What in the name of Merlin's left nut made you think that anything involving _fire crabs_ could be a good idea?" he roared in laughter, and I couldn't stop myself from glancing over at Zara, who was still staring at us. She looked even angrier at Sirius' obvious amusement, and the satisfaction of it helped lessen the embarrassment I was feeling.

"I told you I was no good," I giggled, and he shook his head, looking up at me with incredulity.

"You're definitely creative, I'll give you that," he smiled, "Leave the brainstorming to me. I'll let you know when I come up with something,"

"Will it be soon?" I asked impatiently, and he raised his eyebrows.

"What happened to the timid Charlotte I know and love?" he asked, and I felt my heart expand at the word "love", even though I knew he meant nothing by it.

"She's gone forever. Tough Charlotte is new and improved Charlotte," I squeaked through my suddenly constricted windpipe.

"Fantastic," Sirius grinned, "I'm not making any promises, but I can most likely whip something up within the next week,"

"That sounds brilliant," I smiled back, grateful just to be having a nice conversation with Sirius. He didn't respond, and we sat there uncomfortably for a couple minutes. I tapped the bench with my fingers, and Sirius reread the pages of my journal that I had handed him. His grin eventually dissolved into an unexpected look of abashment and, when he spoke suddenly, his voice sounded uncharacteristically choked.

"So this is your journal," he said, leaning backwards against the wall. He lifted the book and thumbed through the pages, most of which were just full of scratch work from when I was working on numerous school assignments.

"I think we've established that," I said nervously, unable to understand why he was acting so strangely.

"If I were to read through this," he continued, flipping the pages slower than before, "Whose name would I find surrounded in little hearts?"

I froze, wondering, not for the first time, if Sirius could read minds, as I had been thinking about how I didn't do exactly that just a few minutes earlier. He glanced up at me and gave me a seemingly innocent look, though I read something more in his expression

"N-no one's," I stuttered, and his eyes narrowed. He closed the book, placing it down on the bench in-between us, and leaned closer to me.

"Liar," he whispered, and, startled both by his words and the proximity of his lips to mine, I blinked rapidly and attempted to regain the ability to speak.

"What are you talking about?" I croaked, and he leaned back again.

"I might've been a little dishonest when you asked how much I heard of yours and Lily's conversation," he said, picking up the journal again and twirling it in his hand, trying (and failing) to look disinterested.

"Oh," I breathed, and memories of how Lily had very clearly said that I had feelings for Sirius came rushing back in.

My first impulse was to stand up and run. I could hide in an empty classroom, hidden in a wardrobe for the rest of my life, and it would beat the humiliation of Sirius knowing that I liked him as more than a friend. My next impulse, once I ruled that one out, was to pull out my wand and erase his memories, though that might be a bit overdramatic and the rest of our friends would most likely never forgive me.

My third impulse, and the one I chose to act on, was to play dumb. I remained where I was, though every inch of me was aching to disappear. My fingers were no longer tapping, but were instead pressed into the skin of my palms; I was sure there would be crescent shaped scars on my hands forever.

"I'm not following," I lied, making my eyes as wide as possible. I was going for the wide-eyed, deer-in-the-Lumos look; whether I managed to pull it off or if I looked more like a bug-eyed house elf was up to personal interpretation.

"Now, granted, I was at the opposite end of the corridor, and Lily's voice was a bit hushed, but I could have _sworn _she said something about you liking someone," Sirius said, confirming my fears, and I felt as if I was floating away, just like Professor Binns, who got up one day to teach and left his human body behind.

_So this is what it feels like to be a ghost_, I thought to myself, though it was hardly an appropriate time for such nonsensical thoughts.

"I don't remember that happening," I shrugged, choosing to continue down my chosen path of lying my way through the situation. Sirius leaned closer again.

"So Lily _didn't _say anything about you liking Remus?" he asked, and I stared, my mouth agape, before bursting into hysterical laughter. He blinked, bewildered, as tears squeezed out the corners of my eyes and I made every effort to suppress the laughs spewing out of my mouth. The mingling of amusement, disbelief, and relief was a recipe for hysteria, and it took several moments to get myself to calm down.

Sirius was casting apologetic glances at all the people around us, several of which were grabbing their belongings and moving farther away. He clenched his teeth and patted my arm awkwardly in an attempt to get me to stop.

"Are you alright?" he asked after I had somewhat relaxed, sounding deeply concerned, and I hiccupped, giggling at the incredulous look on his face.

"Just peachy," I replied.

"I'm taking that, er, _response_ to mean that I was mistaken?" he inquired, and I nodded.

"I've told you once before that I don't think about Remus that way," I told him. He was looking at me as if I had gone completely off my rocker, which, in all fairness, it really did seem as if I had. In my defense, however, the situation was extremely comical, at least from my standpoint. "Sirius" and "Remus" didn't sound all that much alike, but if Sirius was listening from a distance, I could understand how he could have misunderstood, especially since he had already asked me about my relationship with Remus once and was clearly in the mindset for believing it to be true.

"Sorry about that, then," Sirius shook his head, looking embarrassed, "Moony's a great guy, though, the idea of you liking him isn't _that _funny," he added, glancing at Remus, who was staring at us with a completely confused look on his face.

"That's not why I was laughing," I said quickly. The idea itself wasn't funny; Remus _was _a great guy. Funny, sweet, loyal, and, now that I was looking at him again, quite handsome. He'd be a great boyfriend for somebody, just not for me, not when I had uncontrollable feelings for one of his best friends.

"Why then?" Sirius asked, looking even more baffled.

"You wouldn't understand," I giggled.

"Right, well, I'm glad we got that cleared up. Lily's secret is enough for me to keep," Sirius said, looking relieved, "Now if you excuse me, Zara looks as if she's about to explode," he added, standing up, and I glanced over at her. She admittedly did seem fit to burst at any moment; part of me hoped she would. She couldn't snog Sirius then.

"Let me know about the plan, then, alright?" I asked, and Sirius nodded, still eyeing me warily as if I could start laughing crazily again. He lingered for a second, then nodded once more and walked away. I made my way back to the couch, settling down next to Lily.

Everyone stared at me, and I blushed under their imploring gazes.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, for starters, we'd like to know what Sirius could have possibly said to make you laugh that bloody hard," James spoke up, and everyone else nodded.

"He-" I began, but stole a quick look at Remus, deciding against telling the truth. Instead, I leaned back against the couch, smiling to myself and saying:

"You wouldn't understand,"

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I know I normally would have updated yesterday, but I wasn't home at all and didn't have any time to write. I'm sorry!**

**Also, I was asked what Charlotte looked like. I wasn't really sure how to explain, so I decided to make a Sim of her because I'm a total loser. If you're interested, there's a link to a picture in my bio!**

**Thanks for reading, and thanks for all the awesome reviews. Keep it up! :)**


	21. Jealous

I waited a couple days before deciding to speak to Remus, as I didn't want him to connect my words with the situation in which I was hysterically laughing. Remus was a sensible person, butanyone's feelings would be hurt if they were told "Yeah, the idea of me having feelings for you is what made me howl like a deranged person".

I was a bit nervous to speak to him. It was twice now that Sirius had asked me about my supposed relationship with Remus. I couldn't help but think that maybe Remus had said or done something that led others to believe that there was something going on between the two of us. The thought that Remus might actually be the one that has feelings for _me _even crossed my mind, which made my stomach swoop unpleasantly. He was one of my closest friends, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

I dismissed the idea eventually. Remus had seemed completely on board with the fact that I liked Sirius, and had even helped me when Sirius wouldn't speak to me; neither of those were hardly the kind of thing that a jealous admirer would do. Besides, nothing Remus had ever said or done anything that hinted that his feelings toward me were anything but platonic.

Once I had mulled over the situation, I was left feeling nothing but confusion. I didn't think that _I _acted as if I liked Remus. Lily had clearly picked up on my feelings for Sirius and had said _nothing _about Remus; if I treated Remus similarly to how I treated Sirius, wouldn't she have thought that I liked him as well? I had no idea where Sirius was coming from, and reckoned Remus was the only person I could ask.

We were in Charms, the last lesson of the day, and I was resting my chin on my hand, lazily waving my wand to transform the vinegar in the goblet in front of me into wine. I had been switching the liquid back and forth for the entirety of the class; I was much better at Charms than at Transfiguration, and had no trouble mastering the spell, leaving me free to stare across the room at the Marauders.

Peter was partners with Remus; Remus had managed to learn the charm just as quickly as I had, and was now trying to teach Peter, who kept turning the vinegar into ice. Sirius and James were partners, and after several unsuccessful attempts, in which their goblet exploded numerous times and they had to replace it, had finally managed to create wine. They were now whooping happily, seemingly proud of themselves.

I rolled my eyes, but my heart was secretly pounding at the satisfied look on Sirius' face. His smile was so perfect that I wouldn't have been surprised if he was part-Veela. I briefly wished he was; at least then I would have a reasonable excuse for being so crazily attracted to him, instead of only having my hormones to blame.

I glanced back at Remus, wondering briefly how best to approach him about Sirius' accusations, and was startled to see him looking at me as well. He grinned and tilted his head towards Sirius to show that he knew I was staring, and I flushed. He looked as if he was silently laughing, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

Feeling another pair of eyes on me, I turned my head to see Sirius looking between Remus and me suspiciously. I immediately dropped my head, not wanting Sirius to get the wrong idea. I felt guilty, which was ridiculous; it was perfectly normal for me to make faces at my friend from across the room. He and James did it all the time when teachers split them up, and no one accused _them _of liking each other.

Unable to resist, I glanced back up at Sirius. He was still watching me, an unreadable expression on his face.

"What?" I mouthed, simultaneously annoyed and pleased that he was staring at me.

"Nothing," he mouthed back, and I scowled to show that his answer wasn't satisfactory. He grinned, my heart fluttered, and then he wasn't looking at me anymore, but at James, who was whispering something to him. I continued to watch, intrigued, as James pointed first at Flitwick, then at the wine in the goblet; predictably, he was debating whether or not they should drink it.

Sirius shook his head and motioned to the boy sitting behind him. Duncan Young, a pompous and irritating Ravenclaw, was attempting to flirt with a couple of girls sitting next to him. His arm was draped over the back of one of the girls' chairs, and she was discreetly scooting farther away from him. Unfazed, he moved even closer to her, leaving his wine-filled goblet unprotected.

Already realizing what they were planning to do, I hissed in disbelief, and Lily lifted her head from the book she was hiding in her lap to look at me.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and I shook my head, not wanting to get James and Sirius in trouble with her, but she followed my gaze. James was leaning forward, shielding Sirius from view, and his eyes were trained on Flitwick, who was concentrated on unsticking Peter's finger from his frozen goblet, like a watchdog's.

Sirius, hidden from Flitwick but still perfectly visible to Lily and me, Conjured up a flask. He picked up Duncan's goblet, tipped its contents into his own flask, then placed it back on Duncan's desk. He scrambled back into his seat, and James leaned back again, smirking.

"Oh, they are in _so _much trouble," Lily shook her head as Flitwick finally managed to defrost Peter's finger and moved on to James and Sirius' desk. He picked up their goblet, dipped a finger into the wine to taste it, then smiled at them before putting the goblet back down. James and Sirius grinned at each other.

"Mr. Young, if you wouldn't mind," Flitwick called in his squeaky voice, calling for Duncan's attention. He unglued himself from the disgusted-looking girl's side and looked down at Flitwick.

"Yes, sir?" he asked, and Flitwick motioned towards his goblet.

"May I see your goblet, please?" he asked kindly, and Duncan nodded, smiling haughtily, but his smile disappeared when he picked up his goblet and looked into it.

"Professor, my wine's disappeared," he exclaimed, looking bewildered. He glanced down at the goblet a couple more times, as if the wine would suddenly reappear.

"I don't see a spill," Flitwick responded, clambering up next to Sirius and James' desk to look around at Duncan's feet. I noticed Sirius shift slightly in his seat, his hand in his pocket, and I knew he was attempting to hide the flask as well as possible, "You didn't drink the wine after I specifically said not to, did you, Mr. Young?" Flitwick continued, and Duncan's eyes widened.

"No, sir, you can ask her, I was talking to her the whole time," he said frantically, motioning towards the girl next to him. Sirius and James were snickering into their hands.

"Can you vouch for Mr. Young?" Flitwick asked the girl. She looked hesitant for a moment, still sitting on the edge of her chair as to be as far away from Duncan as she could, but shook her head finally.

"I didn't see him drink it, sir," she said, and she grimaced as if it was incredibly difficult for her not lie and get Duncan in trouble.

"See, sir? It wasn't me. I didn't do it!" Duncan practically yelped; he may have been arrogant and annoying, but he was about as afraid of teachers' disapproval as I was of bees. I reckoned his boggart would be all of his professors crowded around and yelling at him; the thought made me smirk, though I was in no way approving of what Sirius and James had done.

Sirius and James were no longer able to withhold their laughter, and James let out a loud guffaw. Flitwick trained his eyes on him, looking between him and Sirius with an exasperated look on his face. I glanced quickly at Lily, who was watching intently and sitting stiffly in her chair. I half expected her to yell out that she had seen Sirius take the wine, but she remained silent.

"Mr. Potter, did you drink Mr. Young's wine?" Flitwick asked, looking tired. He, like most other teachers, had caught James and Sirius doing things they weren't supposed to do far too often for his liking.

"No, sir," James said sweetly.

"Did you, Mr. Black?" Flitwick asked, turning to Sirius, who was looking giddy.

"No, sir," he responded truthfully, burying his hand deeper into the pocket of his robe where the flask was hidden.

"Do you know what happened to it?" Flitwick continued, and James and Sirius both hesitated. They could deny it and avoid getting in trouble, but I knew that they wouldn't; they wanted the satisfaction of everyone knowing what they had pulled off.

"Yes, sir," Sirius said finally, still smiling. Flitwick waited silently for further elaboration, but when he didn't receive any, he sighed.

"What happened to it, then?" he pressed, and James and Sirius exchanged a quick look.

"We took it, sir," James responded, "But we didn't drink it,"

"So technically we didn't break any rules, Professor. You only said not to drink it," Sirius added, and Flitwick's nostrils flared, which was a comical look for the normally cheery teacher.

"Detention for cheek," he told Sirius, "And you, too, Mr. Potter," he added without any clear explanation. Flitwick was a fair and kind teacher who practically never gave out detentions, but, as usual, James and Sirius were the exception. He didn't want to let them get away with what they done for the hundredth time, even though they technically hadn't done anything wrong; seeing someone receive detention for _cheek _was something I had yet to encounter.

"Yes, sir," James said brightly, not at all fazed.

"And I would like you to give Mr. Young his wine back," Flitwick continued.

"We can't do that, sir," Sirius piped up.

"And why is that?"

"We Vanished it," James lied. They may have been okay with being caught, but they weren't about to give up the alcohol; I scoffed in disbelief and, admittedly, a hint of admiration.

"Ridiculous," Lily whispered from beside me.

"Give me your goblet, Mr. Young," Flitwick sighed, and Duncan handed it to him, shooting daggers at James and Sirius. They looked up at him, smiling. Flitwick filled the goblet with vinegar, and handed it back to Duncan before rounding on James and Sirius again, "And you two, see me after class so we can work out your detention,"

The class, which had been unusually silent, resumed quiet conversation once Flitwick had walked away. I continued to watch Sirius and James, who were looking incredibly pleased with themselves.

"I can't believe them," Lily said, and I shook my head.

"All for one goblet of wine,"

"They could have gotten it some other way if they really wanted it. They just wanted to put on a show," Lily said bitterly.

"I still can't believe you like James. You're complete opposites," I whispered, leaning closer to Lily.

"I can say the same about you and Sirius," she responded, and I laughed, feeling the truth of her words.

"They _do _say that opposites attract," I shrugged, and she smiled softly.

Class was over soon after that, and I remembered suddenly that I had wanted to speak to Remus. I had forgotten all about it during James and Sirius' little stunt, but as the two of them walked towards the front of the classroom to discuss their detention with Flitwick and the rest of us walked in the other direction towards the door, I decided to seize my chance and grabbed Remus by the sleeve.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, and he turned his head to look at me, surprised.

"Sure," he answered, and Lily gave me a strange look.

"If it's about Sirius, can I hear it, too?" she whispered, and I shook my head.

"No, it has to just be Remus," I said apologetically, and Remus furrowed his eyebrows. Lily looked momentarily bewildered, but shrugged.

"Alright then. See you at dinner," she said, before smiling hesitantly and disappearing through the doorway with Scarlett, Mary, and Isabelle.

"Moony, do you want to help me with my Potions homework before dinner?" Peter asked from Remus' other side.

"Sorry, Wormtail, Charlotte asked to speak with me," Remus told Peter, who looked disappointed. His face brightened, however, and he stopped right outside of the door.

"I'll just wait for Padfoot and Prongs, then," he said brightly, and Remus nodded at him.

"See you later," he said, and turned back to me, "What's up?"

"Well, um," I began, not entirely sure what to say, and we walked silently for a few moments down the corridor. All the other students, excited to be done with lessons for the day, were way ahead of us, and we had left Peter behind, so it was just the two of us in a mostly empty hallway.

"Yes?" Remus urged.

"Sirius said a couple things involving you and me, and I thought I would ask you about it," I said awkwardly, glancing at him quickly. He looked confused.

"Things like what?" he asked, and I looked down at the floor instead.

"Well, er, he's asked me twice now if there's something…going on between us,"

"Us? As in you and me?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I told him no, but I was just wondering if you knew why he kept asking me that,"

"I don't," Remus shook his head, and there was no hint in dishonesty in his voice. I felt myself relax.

"So you…you don't…_like _me or something?" I asked, and Remus froze, staring at me with wide eyes, before he started laughing. I was right with my previous thoughts; it was a bit offensive. I crossed my arms over my chest, and Remus must have read some anger in my face because he immediately stopped laughing.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have laughed. You're pretty, Charlotte, and fun to be around, but I don't…I never…it's just not like that," he said apologetically, and I smiled, relieved and appreciative of the compliment.

"Good. Great. Because I don't…I never…either," I said stupidly, but he nodded in understanding.

"I know. You like Sirius, always have, right?" he asked, and I nodded as well.

"So then why is Sirius convinced that I like you?" I inquired, and Remus seemed to think for a moment. His face lit up suddenly, and he tilted his head.

"Maybe he's…jealous?" he offered, and I gaped. I was so preoccupied with thinking that Sirius would never like me that the thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

"_Jealous_?" I repeated, and Remus nodded quickly.

"I mean, you and I are good friends. I can see how maybe it could appear to him that we…you know. Jealousy sees things others don't," he explained.

"But why would Sirius be _jealous_?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Maybe he likes you more than you think," Remus shrugged, grinning.

"But he's never exactly held back when it comes to girls. Why wouldn't he tell me?" I continued to fight against what Remus was saying, unwilling to believe that Sirius might actually have feelings for me and give myself false hope.

"Lily said that he told you his relationships are purely physical, right?"

"Yes, so?" I asked, confused.

"Well, if he has actual feelings for you, it'd be different than with other girls, wouldn't it? He wouldn't know what to do in that kind of situation," Remus said excitedly.

"Maybe," I said, beginning to crack. I felt a glimmer of hope push its way into me, "You don't _know _something, do you?" I asked, feeling a hint of suspicion at how much Remus had seemingly thought about the situation.

"No, he hasn't told me anything. I think he'd have a hard time convincing himself, let alone telling others," Remus said, grimacing apologetically, "I can ask him about you, if you'd like," he offered, but I frantically shook my head.

"No," I said quickly, "He's going to think that you're asking because I like him,"

"Right," he nodded, "Like you thought that I liked you,"

"Exactly," I agreed, blushing a little.

"Sorry again that I laughed," he smiled feebly, "It's just…maybe…I might like someone else,"

"Who?" I said immediately, then winced. As if another secret was what I really needed.

"I don't know…" he trailed off, not looking at me.

"Oh, come on. You know who I like," I pressed, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"Fine. I kind of have a tiny thing for Scarlett," he admitted, and I gaped, surprised.

"_Scarlett_?" I repeated, and he looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed angrily.

"Is there something wrong with her?" he asked defensively.

"No, of course not," I responded, somewhat amused by his quickness to stand up for her, "I'm just surprised. You're very good at hiding it,"

"Yeah, well, I'm never going to tell her, so it's for the best," he shrugged.

"Why not?" I pouted, imagining Scarlett and Remus together. They would be cute; Remus' nose was practically always buried in a book and Scarlett's was always stuck in her journal. They were both relatively quieter than the majority of their friends. She was sensitive and he was sensible. I could just see them cuddled on the couch and reading together; perhaps opposites attracted, but that didn't mean that two very similar people couldn't be perfect for each other.

"My kind aren't exactly the romantic type. Most of us are alone forever," he said sadly, and I didn't have to ask to know what he meant.

"That's so sad!" I exclaimed, "You don't deserve to be alone,"

"It's best for everyone," he smiled weakly at me, "I shudder to think of the kinds of situations I could put her in if things went too far. Besides, she likes Sirius,"

I remained silent, unable to come up with a good argument. I had no idea what happened when werewolves got involved with humans, and winced at sudden mental images. I immediately changed my facial expression to something more neutral, not wanting to discourage Remus, but he wasn't looking at me. We carried on walking, neither of us speaking.

"Remus-" I began suddenly.

"Charlotte-" he said at the same time, and we both laughed, "You first," he said.

"I was just going to say that you're a great friend," I said sincerely, "And thanks,"

"You're welcome. You're a great friend, too," he beamed.

"What were you going to say?" I asked.

"I was just going to say that, if something does end up happening with you and Sirius…" he trailed off, looking hesitant.

"Yes?"

"Just be careful. I'd hate to see you get hurt," he said seriously, and I took a deep breath, thinking of how easily Sirius had shooed Zara away when I interrupted them in the common room.

"Yeah, me too,"

**A/N: Thanks for the fantastic reviews, you guys all rock. :)**


	22. Sneak

"Boo,"

I jumped at the sudden noise, hitting my skull against the headboard of my bed and glaring in the direction of the doorway. My vision was clouded as I rubbed the back of my head, but the stars that had appeared after the unexpected and unpleasant contact with solid wood disappeared eventually. I was left to gaze upon Sirius, who was standing in the empty doorway and grinning.

"You have _got _to stop sneaking up on me," I seethed.

"Think of that," Sirius smirked, motioning towards the painful bump beginning to form on my head, "As revenge for when _you_ made _me _hit my head against the floor,"

"That was different," I sniffed, "You were eavesdropping on a private conversation,"

"Don't get your wand in a knot," Sirius laughed, then placed a hand on his chest in false sincerity, "I'm terribly sorry that I hurt you, Lottie,"

I fell silent, thinking about all the other times he had unknowingly hurt me and wondering if I would ever receive an apology for that. A throbbing skull was hardly anything compared to all the godforsaken heartache I had gone through for the boy. Not that I could tell him that.

"Are you going to come in, or were you planning on awkwardly standing in the doorway forever?" I said bitterly, avoiding looking at him and focusing on flipping through my book instead, trying to find the page I had lost when I was interrupted.

"Aren't you going to ask how I got up here?" Sirius teased, taking my words to heart and moving away from the door. I couldn't see him, but felt my mattress tilt slightly, so I knew he was sitting on the edge of my bed. Sirius Black. On my bed. I remembered suddenly how excited James had been when he found out he was on Lily's bed, and, for once, I understood him completely.

"You're not going to tell me anyway," I responded dully, trying to focus on finding the right page in my book instead of on the inappropriate thoughts that had filled my mind. I blushed, feeling ashamed, but it was hardly my fault; any seventeen year old girl would think similar things if a boy as gorgeous as Sirius sat on _her _bed.

"You know me so well," Sirius laughed, and there was a brief moment of silence. I continued flipping pages, until Sirius' hand appeared in my peripheral vision. I didn't have any time to react before he gingerly took the book from my grasp, placing it down on the bed.

"I have to read that by tomorrow," I said, staring at the book, which was close enough for me to grab easily, though my hands remained in my lap.

"Is that why you're up here?" Sirius asked.

"The common room is too loud," I nodded, and finally looked up at him, "Why are _you _up here?"

"I just had detention," he said calmly, as if this was a perfectly reasonable response to my question.

"Right. I always go straight to your dormitory after I have detention, too," I said sarcastically, and Sirius laughed. He leaned closer to me, a mischievous spark in his eye.

"I came here because being trapped in a classroom with Filch and scrubbing floor tiles for two hours gave me plenty of time to think,"

"Think about what?" I gulped, overwhelmed by how much closer he was to me. His eyes were still flashing impishly, and there was a satisfied smirk on his lips.

"About my burning desire for you, of course," he winked, and I gaped silently. I could feel my eyebrows shoot up and my cheeks turn redder than I reckoned they had ever been before. A couple of moments passed in which my mind was racing, mostly with thoughts about Remus' theory that Sirius really did like me, and I was completely unsure what to say or do, "I'm just joking around, relax," he laughed suddenly, "You don't have to look so mortified,"

"That whole "burning desire" joke is so old, Sirius," I said, forcing myself to roll my eyes, though my heart was still thudding unnaturally fast. I felt simultaneously relieved and disappointed; relieved because he mistook my expression for one of repulsion at the idea of him liking me, which saved me from a possibly devastating situation, and disappointed because, for a fraction of a second, I had thought that he was being serious, and the idea elated me.

"You don't have to worry, Charlotte," Sirius frowned slightly. I realized my face was a bit too stiff; he must have thought I was genuinely upset by what he had said. Which I admittedly was, though not for the reason he thought, "I wouldn't even try to lay a hand on you,"

"Oh. Right," I said, even more disappointed even though I knew he was trying to make me feel better. He thought that I was disgusted with the idea of us, and seemed to feel the same way. I continued to scowl, wondering why I was so unattractive to him that he wouldn't even dream of touching me in an, er, indecent way. Remus' idea deflated again.

"Unless of course you wanted me to," Sirius added in a sly tone, sounding much more like himself, and he was staring at me in such a way that I didn't know if his words were genuine or not.

"You're impossible," I attempted to laugh, choosing to take the safe route and assume he was kidding, though the noise came out sounding more like a suffocating cat.

"It's a gift," he shrugged, smiling, and the awkward tension in the air was dissolved. I almost sighed out loud in relief, and settled back against my pillows, trying to stay as far away from him as possible. My previous thoughts hadn't disappeared entirely.

"So why are you really here?" I asked, examining my toes just for something to do. Sirius, clearly feeling as if he was right at home, fell backwards, resting his head on his arms and staring up at the ceiling. I wondered how many girls' beds he had lain on in the past, but dismissed the thought, as it made me want to tell him to get out and never come back.

"I really did have a lot of time to think," he said, flipping over onto his stomach to look at me, "And I think I have an idea for the plan,"

"Really?" I perked up, suddenly much more interested in the conversation.

"Don't get too excited," he laughed, "It's not that great,"

"What is it?" I asked, forgetting my resolve to keep my distance. I scooted forward, eagerly anticipating his response.

"I was thinking something along the lines of Mulciber and a room full of snakes," Sirius smiled, and I wrinkled my nose.

"What kind of snakes?" I asked warily.

"We want to scare the guy, not kill him, Charlotte," Sirius shook his head, grinning at my expression, "_Fake_ snakes with some kind of charm to make them move like real ones,"

"That's the plan. A room full of fake snakes," I deadpanned, my high expectations a bit disappointed. Sirius pouted, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What did you expect?" he scoffed, obviously insulted.

"I don't know. Something a bit more…exciting," I shrugged, "But that's good, too," I said quickly, seeing the crestfallen expression on Sirius' face and feeling guilty for causing it.

"No, it's not," he groaned suddenly, burying his face in his hands, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I'm losing it," he said in a panicky tone, lifting his head again to look at me with a frantic expression.

"Calm down," I giggled, unable to stop myself from being amused, "You're not losing it,"

"But I _am_," he shook his head, "I can't come up with anything and I don't know why,"

"Are you sick or something?" I asked, and he shook his head again.

"No, I-" he began, but paused before continuing, "I just don't know,"

"The snakes are _fine_, Sirius," I said soothingly, scooting even closer so that Sirius' face was centimeters from my left knee.

"I don't want _fine_," he said bitterly, angrily pulling at a thread in my bed sheets, "I want _fantastic_,"

"It _will_ be fantastic. He'll probably wet his pants," I tried to sound reassuring, and I was silently watching Sirius unravel the thread and hoping I would be able to fix it once he left, when he froze.

"Instead of a room," he said slowly, staring me straight in the eye. I bit my lip, trying not to turn red, "We put the snakes in a giant net,"

"Right…" I said hesitantly, hardly seeing how this changed the situation at all.

"We do it during class, when there's a crowd," he continued.

"So everyone sees?" I inquired, and he nodded quickly.

"Exactly. He'll probably cry…nobody will ever let him forget it," Sirius smiled to himself, presumably imagining the prank play out in his mind. I did the same, and I would be lying if I said the visual wasn't pleasant.

"But if everyone sees, won't they figure out it was us who did it?" I pointed out.

"Ah, I think it's time to introduce you to my personal mantra," Sirius grinned, scrambling up into a seated position and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I stiffened, trying not to let my face betray my sudden euphoria, "When in doubt, deny _everything_,"

"Great motto," I giggled stupidly, feeling slightly dizzy.

"Thank you," he beamed at me, "As for your _genius_ input about the pants-wetting…"

"Yes?" I asked, my heart beating erratically, though whether it was because Sirius' arm was still around me or because I was anticipating what he was about to say, I wasn't sure.

"Meet me in the common room at one," he whispered, which was unnecessary considering we were still the only two in the entire dormitory, so I presumed he was doing it for dramatic effect.

"One in the _morning_?" I yelped, looking at him wide eyes, "What for?"

Sirius released his hold on me, stood up and strolled over to the door, throwing me a dazzling grin over his shoulder.

"You and I are going to take a trip to Zonko's,"

* * *

Sirius was already waiting for me when I crawled out of bed at the ungodly hour of one in the morning and tiptoed down to the common room, careful not to wake any of the other girls. Mary's loud snoring did a good job of masking any noise I happened to make, and I escaped without being questioned.

"Ready to go?" he asked eagerly, jumping up from his perch on an arm chair and practically shaking with excitement.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said truthfully, stifling a yawn. I wondered briefly if my sleeping schedule would ever go back to normal, or if one of the side effects of being close with Sirius would always involve losing countless hours of what would have been otherwise peaceful slumber.

"Let's go then," Sirius grinned, pulling the Invisibility Cloak out of his pocket and shaking it out. I stepped closer to him, and he threw the cloak over us. He took my hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, which only managed to make me feel nervous _and _light-headed as opposed to just the former. I was again reminded of what Remus had said.

We clambered through the portrait hole, leaving the Fat Lady to complain groggily about being woken up and yell "Who's there?" after us. Sirius silently led me down several flights of stairs to the fourth floor, the only sound being our footsteps and quiet breathing. Sirius held the Marauder's Map in front of him, watching for ghosts and, mostly, Filch. We finally stopped in front of the same mirror that we had passed on our way to the classroom with the boggart in it.

Sirius pulled out his wand, and stuck his arm out of the cloak, which was a strange sight. He tapped the wand against several bricks around the mirror's frame, and it sprang open, revealing a large room lit only by one flickering lantern on each of the four walls.

"The guys and I hang out in here sometimes," he whispered after closing the mirror behind us and pulling off the cloak. He cast "Lumos", better illuminating the room, and I did the same. My gaze landed on a pile of boxes in the corner, stacked so high that the topmost ones were teetering precariously.

"What's in those?" I asked, pointing towards the boxes, and Sirius grinned.

"A couple of things we've borrowed over the years," he wiggled his eyebrows, and led me straight towards the boxes. I expected him to open one of them, but, instead, he leaned his body against the pile and pushed. It seemed imminent that they would all topple over, but they miraculously stayed upright. They shifted a few inches to the side, and Sirius stopped pushing and disappeared through the crack that he had created between the boxes and the wall.

"What are you doing?" I asked incredulously.

"Come on," he responded, and I hesitated before following, turning my body sideways to fit through the narrow spot.

The space on the other side was even smaller than I expected, and Sirius and I were mere centimeters away. I held my breath as he felt around the wall with his hand, pressing myself against the other wall to avoid touching him accidentally. As always when he was so close, I was enveloped in his musky scent; it made me felt even more light-headed than before.

"What are you looking for?" I responded in a strangely choked tone, attempting to breathe in and out through my mouth. Something about being alone with him when it was so late, not to mention dark, always succeeded in making my emotions go even more haywire than usual.

"It's here somewhere," he responded enigmatically, and gave a gleeful shout when he seemed to find whatever it was he was searching for. He hit the brick, which appeared to look exactly the same as all the others, with his fist, then turned to give me a smirk before disappearing through the wall, "I opened the passage, just walk through," he called out. I reluctantly unglued myself from my wall and stuck my hand out; it disappeared just as Sirius had. I stepped forward, and found myself in a different room entirely.

This one was much narrower, and dirtier; the floors and walls appeared to be made of packed dirt. There was a scurrying sound that reminded me of rats, and not the friendly kind that also took on the form of a boy named Peter.

"The wall is like the one to get into Platform Nine and Three-Quarters," I breathed in awe, turning around to look back at the spot I had come through; it appeared to be a completely solid wall.

"Sure is. Took us forever to figure out how to use it," Sirius shook his head, smiling, then grabbed a torch off of the wall. He pointed his wand at it, and a burst of fire shot out, lighting the torch and illuminating the muddy walls. I could see spiders crawling above our heads, and shuddered.

"Where does this come out?" I asked, following behind in Sirius' wake. He was walking briskly, and seemed to be an expert; he stepped over every log sticking out of the floor without even looking down. I kept awkwardly stumbling, at one point narrowly avoiding toppling straight into Sirius' back.

"The basement of the building next to Zonko's," he responded calmly, as if it was perfectly normal to break into random basements in the middle of the night.

Choosing not to ask any more questions, mostly because I was a bit frightful of what the answers would be, I continued along silently for what seemed like hours, until we finally came into a circular room. The walls and floors were still made of the same material, but the space was much less narrow, and there was a ladder on the far side.

"Ladies first," Sirius said, blowing out the fire and placing the torch in a bracket on the wall. He motioned towards the ladder, but I stayed put, shaking my head.

"You go first," I told him. I had two reasons, one of which involved bums; I'd rather have to stare up at his than have him be looking at mine. In fact, I'd rather enjoy it. The other, more important reason was that I was afraid of what or _who_ might be waiting for us at the top of the ladder, and I selfishly wanted Sirius to scope the place out first.

"What happened to timid Charlotte being gone forever?" Sirius teased, smirking at me. We stared at each other for a few moments, then I sighed in resignation, placing my foot on the bottom rung of the ladder.

"If I fall on top of you, I can't be held responsible," I said, and Sirius chuckled.

"I wouldn't complain," he said from behind me, and my hand almost slipped off the ladder, but I shook my head and continued to climb. The ladder was surprisingly high, but I was too busy being preoccupied with the fact that Sirius was right below me with a perfectly good view of my butt to be afraid of falling off. I could only feel grateful that I had slipped on my good jeans before leaving my dormitory.

I reached a trapdoor above my head, and rattled the handle on it a few times.

"Push, not pull," Sirius laughed, and my face burned as I pushed upwards on the circle wooden door. It opened easily, and I popped my head out into a cellar, empty asides from the boxes scattered throughout the room and a furnace in the corner.

"No one's here," I whispered, and Sirius laughed again.

"I didn't expect anyone to be,"

I pulled myself up and wiped the dirt off my clothes, looking around. There was a set of stairs against the far wall, but the door at the top of them was shut and no light shown through the cracks around it. Sirius scrambled up behind me, and, to my surprise, headed straight towards the stairs.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, though I was still following along obediently.

"Relax," he urged, and walked up the stairs, "Careful on the third step, it squeaks,"

I briefly wondered how many times he had done this, but obliged, skipping the third step entirely to avoid accidentally making a noise.

"Who lives here?" I whispered, and he shrugged.

"Some old witch, I think," he whispered back, and opened the door. It swung open silently, revealing a short, dark corridor. There was another door that I assumed led to the rest of the house, and another at the end of the hallway through which I could see moonlight shining. Sirius headed towards that one, and it too swung open easily.

I walked through, breathing a bit easier now that we were outside and not trespassing inside some poor, innocent woman's house. We were still in her backyard, however, and I shot nervous glances back at the house as Sirius trudged towards the chain-link fence separating the lawn from an alley.

"This is so not me. I do _not _sneak out to Hogsmeade in the middle of the night and steal from joke shops," I rambled nervously, more to myself than to Sirius, and he chuckled.

"Welcome to my life," he grinned, and crouched down to grab ahold of the fence, pulling it upwards to reveal a narrow space between it and the ground, "You're going to have to crawl through," he told me, and I sighed, dropping to the cool grass and shimmying under the fence, presumably giving Sirius another lovely faceful of bum. I wouldn't have been surprised if, by the end of the night, my good jeans were completely ruined.

"Hold it up for me," he said once I was through, and I did, shivering slightly in the cold. I was surprised that I wasn't freezing, as winter hadn't quite yet passed; I reckoned the adrenaline was what was keeping me warm. Sirius crawled under the fence with ease and jumped up. Wasting no time, he walked swiftly to the door in the building opposite, "Zonko's storeroom," he said quietly, and pointed his wand at the door. The doorknob turned slowly, and the door swung open.

I stayed as close to Sirius as possible without actually touching him, and he lit his wand, revealing a room with shelves lining each wall. Each one was full of thousands of boxes; how anyone could find _anything_, I had no idea. Sirius seemed to know exactly where everything was, however, and headed straight towards a shelf on the opposite wall. He peered closely at the line of boxes before pulling a particularly large one out and opening it.

"I knew it! Look," he said excitedly, and I peered inside the box to see what had to be hundreds of what appeared to be rubber snakes, though they were extremely realistic. I wasn't afraid of snakes in general, but the sight of so many of them sent a shiver down my spine, "Read the description," Sirius continued after I looked away, and I pointed my own wand at the white label on the side of the box, which described a charm to cast on the snakes to cause them to move around and appear real.

"Right, so we nonverbally cast the spell on the snakes and then release them," I said, and Sirius nodded. He took another one of the boxes, placing it on top of the first one.

"Reckon two boxes will be enough?"

"Should be," I replied, but mostly just to get him to leave quicker. I could have sworn I heard a floorboard creak above us, "Can we go now?"

"Wait," Sirius said, and headed towards the other side of the room, where the boxes were considerably smaller, "Your comment about Mulciber peeing his pants reminded me of these," he called over to me, taking one of the boxes out, opening it, and holding up what looked like a bag of sweets.

"What are they?" I whispered, stepping closer to him so that he would lower his voice.

"If you eat one, they make you wet yourself if you scream. They're called "_A Bed Wetter's Worst Nightmare_" because they're supposed to be given to people with bad dreams, but it should work just the same," he explained, eyeing the bag in his hand with admiration, "I got Peter with these in our first year on April Fool's. He woke up, saw the mess and cried,"

"Huh," I said, momentarily impressed, but also feeling sorry for poor Peter.

"The only problem will be getting Mulciber to eat one…" Sirius trailed off, thinking.

"We can figure that out later, now let's _go_," I urged, pulling on his sleeve. I was absolutely certain that a floorboard creaked this time. Sirius stuffed the bag of sweets into his pocket, and waved his wand at the two boxes of snakes. They levitated into the air and bobbed along beside us; I took a step forward, and the box inched towards the direction I moved.

Another floorboard creaked, and I thought I heard hushed voices. At first I thought it might be my own paranoia, but Sirius' eyes widened, and he again grabbed my hand; this time, I was too frightened to even be affected by his touch, and I held onto his hand for dear life as he dragged me quickly towards the door we had come in through. A light came on in the opposite end of the room, illuminating the cracks of a different door, right as I slipped into the moonlit alley.

Giggling giddily, Sirius again held up the fence for me, and I crawled through, quickened by my own fear, and held it up for him to come through. The boxes soared over the top of the fence, and followed along behind us as we loped back into the quiet house, through the dark corridor, and down the stairs into the murky old basement we had originally come into.

Not even waiting for Sirius to say "Ladies first" this time, I bounded towards the trap door in the corner, throwing it open and scurrying down the ladder as quickly as I possibly could. My legs were shaking when I hit the floor, and I waited impatiently for Sirius, followed by the boxes, to make it down. He was going at a leisurely pace, and there was a careless smile on his face when he finally landed beside me.

"We almost got _caught_," I hissed, and Sirius chuckled.

"Ah, but we didn't," he smirked, his eyes glinting in the dark. He picked the torch up off the wall, lit it, and headed down the dirty pathway towards Hogwarts without another word.

"Can you imagine what would happen if we did?" I squeaked, casting nervous glances at the boxes still floating in the air as if someone would pop out of one of them any second and accuse us of stealing.

"I can, and the idea isn't very pleasant," Sirius said brightly, "But we didn't, and that's all that matters,"

"How can you do this all the time? I think my heart's about to fall out of my bum," I shook my head, realizing for the first time that my heart was pounding even faster than it usually did when I was around Sirius.

"You get used to it after a while," Sirius grinned, looking around at me and throwing me a wink.

"Except I'm _never _doing that again," I grumbled under my breath. We travelled along the rest of the passage in silence, except for the occasional sound of the wooden boxes colliding with each other, and I was relieved beyond belief to see the blank wall in front of us once we finally arrived back at the castle.

Sirius tested the wall by sticking his hand through, and when it disappeared, he followed it. I did the same, with zero hesitation this time, eager to be back in my bed as soon as possible. We were again in the tight corner; Sirius waved his wand, and the boxes fell to the ground with a dull thud.

"We'll leave them there for safekeeping," he explained, and squeezed through the crack between the boxes and the wall. I lingered, casting one last nervous glance at the boxes that had caused me so much emotional trauma and briefly wishing I had never gotten myself involved with Sirius and his schemes, then followed.

We had already left the hidden room behind the mirror and were halfway down the corridor when I realized something.

"Sirius," I whispered as quietly as I could, and he turned to look at me, "The _cloak_,"

His mouth made an "O" shape and he reached for his pocket, but, as he did so, a clanking noise sounded from the end of the hallway. Frozen in fear, I just stared at Filch in shock as he rounded the corner, while Sirius frantically attempted to pull the cloak out and throw it over us. He wasn't quick enough, however, and the caretaker walked slowly toward us with a malicious grin on his pasty face. I could only gape in horror at his quivering jowls as he inched forward, and I heard Sirius swallow besides me. Filch opened his mouth, his eyes bulging even more than usual, and jeered:

"Well, aren't we in trouble?"

**A/N: To the guest who said something about Ben Jelen, thank you. I had no idea who that was, but I looked him up and HOLY GORGEOUS. He's not **_**really **_**how I picture Sirius, but I can totally see where you're coming from.**

**As for the TumTum tree, since you asked for a description of Charlotte, I thought other people might want to hear it, too, so I'm writing it here instead of in a PM:**

**She's average height, has wavy and slightly frizzy dark blonde hair that goes a little past her shoulders, is slim, has a long and oval-shaped face, a thin and slightly pointed nose and chin, plenty of freckles on her cheeks and nose, and greenish-gray eyes that are slightly larger than average. Hopefully that helps! :)**

**Thank you for the A+ reviews! I adore you all! :)**


	23. Realize

Professor McGonagall sat silently behind her desk, her hands folded on its glossy surface and her face stern; even with the curlers in her hair, she looked extremely formidable, and I was having difficulty looking her straight in the eye. I opted instead to awkwardly look between her chin, my lap, and the ceiling.

I cast a quick glance towards Sirius, who was slouching in the chair beside me. His lazy posture said he didn't care, but I sensed the stiffness in his jaw and the slight narrowing of his eyes that betrayed the worry he was attempting to hide. Even to someone as unfazed by authoritative figures as Sirius, McGonagall was extremely intimidating, especially when torn out of bed to take care of two students caught wandering the corridors in the middle of the night.

All I could hope was that she wouldn't contact my parents; I could only imagine my father's wrath if he heard. He would quickly assume the worst, and I blushed involuntarily as I realized McGonagall was probably thinking the same thing; finding Sirius and I alone in the dark castle at night pointed to certain unavoidable conclusions.

We had been sitting in her office for several moments now, and McGonagall had yet to utter a single syllable. She just gazed down at us with a slight scowl on her lips, causing me to shift uncomfortably in my seat and nervously rub the charm around my neck. I could hear Sirius' fingers tapping anxiously on the arm of his chair, but I didn't dare look at him again.

When McGonagall finally spoke, her voice was calm but extremely cold:

"Do you have a reasonable explanation as to why you were roaming the school at almost three in the morning?" she asked, and I opened my mouth only to find that I had lost the ability to speak. I made an awkward choking noise, turning towards to Sirius in panic. His back stiffened slightly, but there was still an air of carelessness about him as he responded.

"No, Professor," he said calmly, and McGonagall's nostrils flared in a way that reminded me of the dragons I had seen when on vacation in Romania. I was almost surprised when flames didn't shoot out of her nose.

"No?" she repeated, "You just decided to take a stroll?"

"Yes, Professor," Sirius nodded.

"Do you really expect me to believe that, Mister Black?" McGonagall said incredulously.

"No, Professor," Sirius said again after a brief moment of hesitation. I gaped at him, shocked by his brash responses.

"Well, then am I correct in assuming you and Miss Witte were, er, engaging in inappropriate acts?" McGonagall asked awkwardly, her stern expression dissolving into one of embarrassment. My face mimicked hers, and I shook my head frantically.

"No, Professor," I exclaimed, burning scarlet.

"Yes, Professor," Sirius said at the same time, and I turned to him again, my eyes wide and panicked. He sent me a quick look that told me to go along with what he was saying, so I turned back to McGonagall, though it was now even harder to look her in the eye.

"Yes or no?" McGonagall asked, looking between us with her eyebrows etched in confusion.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"Well," McGonagall chirped after a moment of silence, "I think a week's worth of detention will do, and that's a lenient punishment-"

"A _week_?" I interrupted shrilly, and McGonagall shot me a pointed look.

"_And _ten points from Gryffindor," she continued, "Each,"

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said calmly while I stared open-mouthed at the Transfiguration teacher, my head swimming.

"Should I hang them by their wrists for a while, Professor?" Filch called gleefully from the back of the room, and I turned to see a nauseatingly vicious smile on his face.

"That won't be necessary, Argus," McGonagall told me, and his exuberant expression disappeared, "If you could, however, escort them back to the Gryffindor tower, that would be lovely,"

"Yes, mam," Filch said bitterly, and Sirius and I stood up.

"You'll think twice before making an ill decision like this again, I hope," McGonagall warned, and Sirius and I nodded silently before turning to leave. His reasons for not replying were unknown to me, but I was still struck dumb by my overwhelming mortification.

Filch hobbled down the corridor, leading us back to our common room. He was chattering happily about how nice it was to "finally see some discipline in the school", and that his only wish was that McGonagall would have allowed him to punish us the way he saw fit. I thought about the horror stories I had heard about the shackles in his dungeon office, and the thought made me nauseous. I hoped that if I did throw up, it would land on Filch's cat. That would shut him up.

I attempted to catch Sirius' eyes numerous times, but he was staring straight ahead, his jaw still clenched. I had never seen him so upset about a detention, and McGonagall had let us off easy considering the circumstances. The Marauders had once received a full month when they attempted to poison Snape in our second year. I could still remember them repeating "He'd only be asleep for a few days!" over and over again in protest.

Filch seemed entirely disappointed when we reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, and it took all of the self-control I had to keep myself from kicking Mrs. Norris as Sirius and I climbed through the portrait hole, leaving Filch behind to mutter darkly to himself.

I waited until the Fat Lady stopped complaining about the "ungodly hour of night" and the portrait hole snapped shut behind us before wheeling on Sirius, who was finally looking at me with an irritatingly serene expression.

"What the _hell_?" I asked, and realized that my hands were on my hips like my mother's always were when she reprimanded me about not putting my dirty launder in the hamper. I dropped my hands, clenching my fists at my sides instead.

"What?" Sirius asked placidly, and I let out an indignant noise, stammering incomprehensibly for a few moments before finally pulling myself together.

"Why would you tell her we were…that we are…that…_you know!_" I exclaimed stupidly, and Sirius placed a finger to his lips to shush me.

"Keep your voice down, or you're going to wake everyone up," he urged, and I breathed in and out deeply for a few moments before speaking again, in a strained and quiet voice.

"Why would you tell her that?" I repeated, and Sirius rolled his eyes, turning to walk towards the stairs to the boys' dormitory. I stayed put, staring after him in disbelief before shaking my head and running after him, stopping him right before he put his foot on the first step, "I asked you something,"

"Think a little, Charlotte," Sirius sighed, exasperated, "We couldn't exactly tell her the truth. I hardly doubt we'd get away with a week of detention if we told her we took a trip to someone's basement in Hogsmeade in the middle of the night,"

"Well, yes, you're right, but, _ugh_," I stuttered, "Couldn't you have come up with a different excuse?" I blinked at him, and he stared back for a few moments, his lips pursed. It was hardly helping that he was so close to me and my mind was racing with thoughts of kissing him at such an inconvenient time.

"What's so wrong with me, Charlotte?" he asked quietly, and I raised my eyebrows. He looked suddenly saddened, and there was a hint of something else in his expression that I didn't quite recognize. My heart faltered in my chest.

"What do you mean?" I asked tenderly, refraining myself from placing a reassuring hand on his arm. He looked so _upset_; I wanted to hug him, to comfort him, to do _anything _to get rid of the pout off of his face, and all my displeasure at what he had told McGonagall disappeared.

"Every time there's something that has to do with the idea of us, you get this _sour _look on your face like just the thought alone disgusts you," Sirius said, and I felt myself inhale sharply, completely taken aback by the rawness in his tone. I realized what the previously unrecognizable look in his eyes was; it was _hurt._

"Oh, no, it doesn't…I don't….you're…" I spluttered, completely unsure how to even begin to respond to what he was saying.

"You know what? Don't worry about it," Sirius shrugged with a sad smile, and he squeezed my shoulder. I was still so shell-shocked by what he had said that I didn't even feel the surge of emotion I usually experienced when he touched me, "You can't win them all,"

With that, he turned and ran up to his dormitory, leaving me alone and feeling as if I was about to pass out right at the foot of the stairs.

It was past three by the time that I managed to rid my body of the numbness it had been filled with after Sirius left and climb the stairs to the girls' dormitory. I undressed ridiculously slowly, so disoriented that it took me a good three minutes to get my shirt over my head, and it took me even longer to pull my nightdress on and scramble into bed.

Though I could have gotten a few good hours of sleep in before I had to get up for breakfast, I lay wide awake, the side of my face pressed into my pillow and my wide eyes staring, unseeing, at the dressings I had pulled around my bed.

The usual sounds of the wind slamming against the closed window, the numerous clocks around the room ticking, and the soft breathing of the sleeping girls seemed even louder than usual, but they did nothing to distract me from my thoughts.

All the signs pointed to Sirius liking me. Sirius Black, the boy I had pined over for years and who had never shown the slightest interest in me, now seemed to be _disappointed _because he thought I was repulsed by the idea of us being together.

I thought back to when he had said he wouldn't lay a hand on me. Was that just him trying to respect my wishes, or at least the wishes he thought I had? Did he secretly fantasize about me the way I did about him, and felt bad about it just like I did?

He had told me and me personally that he might have found the exception to his no-feelings rule. Had that been a hint all along, his way of trying to let me know that _I _was the exception? Remus' theory was beginning to look more and more accurate, and the idea was enough to make me feel completely wide awake even as the clock ticked closer to the fifth hour.

I screamed into my pillow, muffling the noise as to avoid waking anybody up. I was absolutely giddy with excitement; the prospect of being liked by the guy I had thought would never look at me twice was exhilarating, and I practically chewed my nails to the stub as I imagined where we could go from here.

My state of half-delirium increased as the clock struck six, and I was conjuring up scenarios in which I would leap into Sirius' arms the second I saw him and kiss him with all my might. Other visuals included declaring our eternal love in front of everyone in the Great Hall, and skipping hand in hand to all our classes together.

Needless to say, I became a bit of a hopeless romantic within those few hours, and I was staring dreamily at the ceiling when the dressings around my bed were pulled sharply to the side and Lily poked her head in through the crack she had created.

"Oh," she said in surprise, "You're awake,"

"Wide awake and ready to take on the world," I sighed happily, spreading my arms out wide against my pillows, and Lily cocked an eyebrow, staring at me with a mixture of skepticism and concern.

"Has Derek Thornhall given you any of his homemade sweets lately?" Lily asked, "Because those are _not _regular Cauldron Cakes, trust me-"

"No, silly," I giggled, interrupting her.

"What's wrong with you then?" Lily asked incredulously, and I beckoned for her to come closer. She looked around behind her, before clambering onto my bed and closing the dressings behind her. I sat up, staring at her with the same exuberant expression on my face.

"You're so pretty," I told her, grabbing a strand of her dark red hair.

"_Honestly_," she scoffed, swatting at my hand, "What has gotten _into _you?"

"Plenty of things," I giggled again, "For one, I got absolutely no sleep. And for another, I think _Irius-Say Ack-Blay _might like me back," I whispered, and Lily's eyes widened.

"_What_? Really? What happened? How do you know? Did he say something?" she asked quickly, then her eyes grew even larger and she gasped, "Did he_ kiss _you?"

"No, calm down," I laughed, and she relaxed visibly, "Though I wouldn't have minded…" I sighed wistfully.

"What _happened_?" Lily repeated, and I shook my head.

"Nothing. I just get the feeling," I told her, and she scowled at me.

"You _get _the _feeling_? Way to get me all excited for nothing," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"_Excited_?" I asked, grinning, "Who knew Lily Evans was such a romantic?"

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes, and I had just opened my mouth to say something else when the dressings around my bed opened again. Mary stared in at us suspiciously.

"What's going on in here?" she asked, and opened the dressings wider to reveal Scarlett and Isabelle standing on either side of her, both peering in curiously.

"Nothing," I said quickly, not quite willing to share my news with the rest of the girls yet, and Isabelle's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, really?" she asked, and then her lips curled into a mischievous smile, "Because it looks like you're having a party with us,"

Scarlett whooped, and all three of them jumped onto my bed at the same time, crowding in around Lily and me and rolling around like hyperactive puppies.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" I groaned as Mary's foot collided with the side of my skull, but I was still smiling, my friends' shenanigans only adding to my already phenomenal mood.

"We have class today," Lily pointed out, her voice strained as she was being sandwiched in between Scarlett and Isabelle uncomfortably.

"All the best to start off the day with a bit of fun," Scarlett trilled, nuzzling her face into my sheets, "I still think Charlotte's bed is so much more comfortable than mine,"

"You know, I don't think most girls do this on a regular basis," I chuckled.

"I don't think so either," James called from the doorway, and I turned to see him standing there with a wide smile on his face, accompanied by all of the other three Marauders this time. Remus was looking slightly uncomfortable, Peter was staring at us with a wide-eyed look of fascination, and Sirius wasn't looking at any of us at all, but at the floor instead.

"You weren't invited," Mary called out to James, and his mouth dropped, feigning hurt.

"I am _deeply _injured by your lack of kindness, Mary MacDonald," he sniffed, before grinning again and striding into the room. Without a moment of hesitation, he threw himself onto Lily's bed and placed his hands behind his bed with an elongated sigh.

"You're not even going to yell at him?" Scarlett asked Lily, who was staring at James with an expression most others would have read as exasperation, but that I realized was a continuing struggle between disgust and pleasure.

"I have given up," Lily sighed in response, and James' grin widened as he sat up and pumped his fist into the air.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before we managed to corrupt you, my dear Lily, but I had no idea it would be so soon!" he exclaimed, and stared at Lily with deep admiration, "I'm so proud of you,"

"Oh, hush," Lily waved her hand, but there was a barely detectable pink blush in her cheeks.

Peter scuttled over to James, sitting beside him without taking his eyes off us, as we were still crowded together tightly on my bed. Remus glanced between everyone for a few awkward moments, before settling into a chair near the door. Sirius still hadn't left the doorway.

"Don't be so shy, Remus," Scarlett piped up, "Come sit with us," she pressed, patting the mattress next to her. I had half a mind to point out the fact that she was inviting him to sit on _my _bed, but bit my tongue when I noticed the suddenly happier expression on Remus' face as he stood up and hurried over to sit by Scarlett. I caught his eye, and he smiled softly at me.

"Sirius, you can come sit, too," I called out, gesturing towards the spot next to me that offered just enough space for him to sit comfortably. Sirius looked up, looked hesitant for a moment, then smiled feebly at me.

"Thanks," he said, and I shot him a radiant smile as he walked over towards the bed. I was just scooting closer to Lily to give him as much space as possible when he stopped at the foot of the bed, paused, then sat down next to Isabelle. She looked surprised for a moment, then her mouth twisted into a smug smile.

I tried not to let the wave of disappointment that had just crashed down on me affect my demeanor too much, but I couldn't help but frown slightly as I watched his knee hit against hers too many times for the contact to be accidental. Lily caught my eye as I averted my gaze from the nauseating sight, and she looked puzzled. I gave a minimal shrug, and it was the appropriate gesture; I had no idea what to think.

"So are we just going to ditch class today or what?" James yawned from his perch on Lily's bed, and Peter gave a titter of agreement.

"Fine by me," Sirius grinned.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Scarlett said quietly, and Remus looked at her with such an appreciative look on his face that I couldn't help but smile, despite the fact that my heart was beginning to thud in a highly unpleasant way.

"And you think _right_," Lily said, standing up, "Party's over," she announced, only to be met by a series of boos and hisses, mostly from James, Sirius and Isabelle; the latter kept glancing at Sirius' profile out of the corner of her eye and biting her lip, which was getting on my nerves so much that I was scowling continuously now.

"Let's all make a date tonight. Exploding Snap after dinner?" Mary offered, and there was a murmur of agreement around the room.

"Sirius and I can't, we have-" I began, but Sirius cut me off.

"A tutoring session," he said, shooting me a sharp look. My frown deepened; I was going to say the same thing. He was _again _assuming that I was daft. As if I would _really_ tell the others that we had detention.

"Can't you skip it?" Isabelle pouted, still staring at him, and he shook his head.

"Super important, sorry,"

"What do you all say we continue this conversation on our way to class?" Lily said loudly.

"Shoo, we have to get dressed," Mary told the Marauders, and they all reluctantly stood up and walked towards the doorway. James paused before stepping outside of the doorframe, turning around and looking specifically at Lily with a sly glint in his eye.

"Are you sure we can't stay for that?" he asked, and laughed as he dodged the shoe Lily whipped at him. He was still laughing after he disappeared, and the noise grew subtler as he and the rest of the guys walked down the stairs.

I got dressed sluggishly, the effects of my all-nighter setting in now that my euphoric mood had been punctured. My head was pounding almost as bad as it had been the day after the concert, and I had to drag my suddenly heavy feet around the room to find everything I needed for the day. I shoved each book into my bag angrily, taking out my fury on the inanimate objects.

I had been wrong about everything. He didn't like me, after all. He would still rather sit next to Isabelle than me when given the choice, even though I had very clearly meant for him to occupy the spot next to me. My cheeks burned in embarrassment as I wondered if anybody other than Lily had noticed his obvious rejection of my offer.

My childish daydreams of skipping merrily down the corridors with him disappeared and were replaced with a satisfying image of the giant squid wrapping one of its slimy tentacles around him and dangling him above the lake. If he didn't like me, why did he have to look so upset about the fact that I supposedly didn't want to be with him? He had said that he couldn't "win them all".

Ice-cold realization set in while I was pulling on my socks, and I froze, feeling as if I could pass out again, but for a much different reason this time. He didn't like me; he just wanted _me_ to like _him_. He found pleasure in the fact that girls swooned at the very mention of his name, and he was disappointed that I had seemingly eluded his trap.

When he said he wanted to win me, he didn't mean _date _me.. He just wanted to win my _affection_, so he could have another name to add to his list of the hundreds of other girls whose hearts he had broken. Maybe that was why he had been spending so much time with me in the first place; he was trying to earn his way into my heart.

Lucky for him, he had. A long time ago.

Unlucky for him, I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing it.

**A/N: Dun, dun, dun.**

**AugustSummer, since you're a guest and I can't PM you – I can see Ben Barnes as Sirius and Karen Gillan as Lily. It's not exactly how I picture them, but I totally see where you're coming from. As for Sara Paxton as Charlotte...ehhh. Not really how I picture her. But I personally think everyone that reads a book or story sees the characters differently in their minds, and that nobody's necessarily **_**wrong**_**. If you see Sirius, Lily, and Charlotte looking like those actors, that's totally cool, and if you don't, that's totally cool, too. :)**

**This next part is literally copied and pasted from my other story, so sorry if you read both:**

**I'm truly sorry that this is so late. I don't think you guys want to hear my shitload of excuses, but believe me when I say I literally have had **_**no **_**free time whatsoever the past couple days. I'm literally updating this at 2:30 AM, because it's the only time I've had to write.**

**I know you're all used to me updating every other day, but there's no way I'll be able to do that anymore. I start yoga this week, plus my soccer seasons starts Tuesday, **_**plus **_**I start school next week and I still have a book to read, six essays to write, and a pre-calculus assignment to do before the first day. Life's starting to get a bit more hectic, but I will update as often as I can. I hope you guys understand. :(((**


	24. Forget

Pretending I didn't have any romantic feelings whatsoever for Sirius proved entirely difficult.

I don't know why I was surprised, considering I had been attempting to do exactly the same thing since our first year.

Even as a mere eleven year old, I already knew that my feelings for Sirius were exceptional. They were just _different_, and it wasn't as if he was the first boy I ever liked as anything more than a friend.

There was Jasper Mitchell, whose family moved down the street from me when I was eight and who I chased around relentlessly until he told me that girls were gross and he didn't want anything to do with me. I still remembered riding my bike all the way home as fast as I could, hot tears blurring my vision. It was my first heartbreak.

Then there was Levi Allen, whom I met on holiday in France when I was ten and who was staying in a hotel room only a couple doors down from mine. We had played together in the hotel pool every day, and he brought me back a pastry when he and his parents went out for pudding. I remembered thinking it was the most romantic thing anyone had done for me, and I held his hand a lot after that. That is, until he peed in the pool and I decided I couldn't like him anymore.

I had even dated a couple of boys during my time in Hogwarts. In my third year, Ian Harrow asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him, and after that we were a couple in everyone's eyes. I had never really liked him all that much, and he eventually broke up with me because I didn't pay enough attention to him. He was admittedly correct; we'd be cuddling on one of the couches in the common room, which was about as far as my thirteen year old self was willing to go, and I'd be staring at Sirius almost the entire time. Usually I was mentally willing him to stare back, hoping that perhaps he'd be jealous of the relationship Ian and I shared, but sometimes it was just for the sheer fun of admiring his beauty.

At the end of my fourth year, I agreed to go out with Hugh Cooper, a Ravenclaw that was a year above me. It ended up lasting the entirety of six months, stretching out through the summer and into the first couple months of fifth year. I had actually liked him a lot more than I originally planned to. He was my first kiss, and the first real distraction I had from Sirius, but he broke up with me for another girl and I was crushed for the first time since Jasper's harsh rejection.

In all fairness, I probably wasn't all that faithful either. After I had cried over Hugh for a good three days, my feelings for Sirius started right back up again, which only led me to believe that they had never really disappeared at all.

That was it. That was _always _the continuity. No matter what changed, I never stopped fancying Sirius, no matter how much I didn't want to.

I never wanted to. Not as a first year, when I was intimidated by authority figures and literally keeled over when I was yelled at by a prefect for attempting to get through a blocked-off corridor I hadn't known was off limits. Sirius was dangerous, a troublemaker, and I refused to allow myself to get involved with someone that was such a bad influence.

As I got older, my reasoning changed. Sirius turned thirteen, that pubescent age in which all boys think about breasts, bums, and more breasts, and began to stick his tongue down girls' throats for the first time. It disgusted me, and that was when I decided I didn't want to be another one of the girls on his list of dozens.

I had always tried to convince myself that I didn't fancy him anymore, but now the reason why was so much more important. He had the _nerve _to be upset with me because he thought I didn't like him. As if I _had_ to like him, as if it was an absolute _crime _against womankind not to be attracted to him. I had always known he was confident in his woman-baiting abilities, but never so _cocky._

Lily had it easy. James had always been obsessed with her, and Sirius had presumably known that longer than anyone. He wouldn't dare to even attempt to woo her, or James would hex him into the next century.

But I had to deal with it, with the whole ridiculously confusing situation. It was mind-boggling: I liked Sirius, but he didn't like me, but he wanted me to like him and thought that I didn't, even though I did. It was enough to drive the sanest person mad, and I was already teetering on the edge of insanity due to my constantly shifting emotions.

One of these days, I would end up in St. Mungo's, and it would be all Sirius' fault.

I spent the entire day repeating "I don't fancy Sirius" in my head over and over. I had even caught myself accidentally whispering it out loud in Potions, but luckily Peter's cauldron had caught fire at that exact moment and nobody paid me any attention in the midst of the chaos.

I bore my eyes into every desk I sat at, refusing to let myself look up at Sirius for even a split second; I gazed into each desk so fiercely I wouldn't have been surprised if I managed to burn holes in them. When Sirius cracked a joke at lunch, I didn't allow myself to laugh even though the joke was hilarious; all that managed to do was make me choke on my apple. Lily clapping me on the back as I struggled to breathe was the best distraction I had from Sirius all day.

It didn't help that he was acting so strangely. When James said something to anger Lily between first and second period and sped up after her when she ran away, he left Sirius and me alone in the back of the group. Sirius immediately sped up as well, as if walking beside me was something he hated the idea of. He reached across practically the entire table to reach a plate of biscuits sitting beside me at lunch instead of asking me to pass it to him,.

However, in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I could have sworn I felt a pair of eyes on me, and they seemed to be coming from the front left corner of the room. Two rows in front of me and three seats to the left, to be exact, which just happened to be exactly where Sirius sat. It could have been my imagination, but I knew I felt that slight prickling sensation on my forehead, the same one I always felt when someone was looking at me.

He just _had _to pick the day I was determined to forget about him to act completely unlike himself. It was difficult not to pay attention to him when he was practically begging to be paid attention to; perhaps that was his plan and I was stupidly falling into his trap.

By dinner, my attempts had managed to exhaust me, and I picked at my food with absolutely zero appetite. Lily noticed, of course, as she never failed to be frustratingly perceptive, but all her whispers of "What's wrong?" were waved off. I was slightly embarrassed each time she attempted to talk to me; I had told her that Sirius _liked _me, but it was obvious that I had been mistaken. What was I supposed to tell her now?

After Lily had nudged Remus in the ribs and started whispering to him, not even trying to veil the fact that she was clearly talking about me, I pushed my plate away and stood up, exasperated.

"I have to go," I announced, not bothering to give further explanation, and I was about to turn to leave when Sirius pushed his plate away as well, scrambling up from his seat.

"You're right, _we _do have to go," he nodded, and, still refusing to look him in the eye, I blinked at his left ear. It didn't help much; even his ears were bloody adorable, "We want to have as much time as possible for _tutoring_,"

"Right," I said stupidly, and ignoring Lily and Remus, who were attempting to catch my eye, I stomped towards the door. Sirius was very good at joining me at the exact moment I was trying to escape him; I couldn't even count how many times he had done it now.

He caught up with me right as I slipped through the large, open doors of the Great Hall, silently falling into step beside me as I made my way to the common room.

As I drew closer to the Gryffindor tower, Sirius still hadn't spoken a word, nor had I, but his steps were beginning to slow. At one point, he stopped walking right in the middle of the corridor. Not feeling up to participating in whatever shenanigans he was up to, I shook my head and continued walking. He cleared his throat, and my pace slowed, but I still didn't refrain from continuing on my way.

"Charlotte," he finally called after me, and I stopped in my tracks, hesitantly turning around. I stared at his right cheekbone this time, which also didn't seem to be a very good idea; his bone structure was phenomenal.

"Hmm?" I asked quietly, willing him to say whatever he had to say as quickly as possible so I could go to my dormitory and sleep. The effects of my all-nighter had worn off throughout the course of the day as I grew used to my drooping eyelids and continuous yawns, but sleep still sounded delightful.

"Are you forgetting something?" he chuckled slightly, and I racked my brain. My mind seemed to be fuddled; I couldn't remember anything past our last period of the day, which was Herbology. Or was it Charms?

"Am I?" I shrugged, and Sirius hesitated. I could see the corner of his lips turn down slightly.

"Detention, Charlotte," he said finally, and I gaped at his cheekbone for a few seconds until his words sank in.

"Well, stick a wand up my arse and call me Merlin. I _completely_ forgot," I exclaimed bitterly, throwing my hands up to my forehead. I must have been even more tired than I thought; detention with McGonagall had completely slipped my mind. I was so focused on pretending Sirius didn't even exist to realize that I had to spend a few good hours alone with him that very same night. There was a moment of silence before Sirius let out an incredulous, bark-like laugh.

"_What _did you just say?" he guffawed, and, in my shock, I looked up at his eyes. They glistened with amusement, and I burned red as I realized the expression I had used without thinking. My father said it all the time, even in public; I always groaned in mortification, as it was a particularly crude thing to say. I must have caught it from him at some point, as it had slipped out of my mouth, and in front of Sirius of all people.

"My father says it sometimes," I mumbled under my breath, wishing that Sirius would stop laughing so that my cheeks could go back to their usual color. The unwanted heat in my face was beginning to get on my nerves.

"Your father's got some colorful language. As do you, apparently," he said when he finally calmed down, and I rolled my eyes, not the least bit amused.

"It happens," I said, more sharply than I intended, and turned down a separate hallway leading off of the corridor we had been standing in. Sirius stood frozen for a few moments, but soon I heard his footsteps behind me, slapping against the stone floor until they landed beside me. We continued in silence, and, out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sirius glancing at me every once in a while. I couldn't read the expression on his face, as per usual, but he seemed almost worried.

We reached the door to McGonagall's office, and I was lifting my hand to knock when Sirius wrapped his hand around my wrist, stopping my fist a mere fraction of a second before it made contact with the door. He didn't lower his hand, and I stared silently at his fingers until he finally dropped my wrist. There were slowly fading white marks where the pads of his fingers had dug into my skin; I gazed at them instead of looking at Sirius, though I could feel his eyes on me.

"Charlotte," he said quietly after a few moments of silence, and I finally looked up at him. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. The second time, he had just barely managed to part his lips when the door in front of us came swinging open.

McGonagall stood in the doorway, looking startled to see us standing so close to it, and she glanced between us several times with a half-embarrassed, half-disapproving look on her face. I realized that Sirius was less than a foot away from me, and I shuffled to my right to increase the distance between us before clasping my hands at my waist and looking up at McGonagall innocently.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked, and I frantically shook my head.

"No, Professor," I told her. Sirius remained silent at my side.

"I was just going to wait for the two of you at the end of the corridor, but you seem to have beat me to it. Follow me," she advised, and I obediently trailed along behind her as she walked briskly in the direction Sirius and I had come from. She stopped at the doorway to a classroom, knocked on the door, and, when she didn't receive a response, turned the doorknob and walked inside.

Sirius and I followed behind, and I looked around to see a large classroom I hadn't been in before, filled with rows of desks as in most other classes. A teacher I recognized only from ceremonies in the Great Hall sat at the desk in the front of the room, leaning back on his chair. He was asleep, his mouth slightly agape, and there was a quiet snore emitting from his lips every few moments.

"Quirinus?" Professor McGonagall said, but the man didn't stir, "Quirinus. PROFESSOR QUIRRELL!" she practically yelled, and Professor Quirrell finally jerked awake, jumping a good few meters into the air and looking around with wide eyes.

"Wha'?" he asked stupidly, his eyes landing on first Sirius, then me, and finally on Professor McGonagall. When his gaze fell upon the latter, he immediately sat up straighter, attempting to look professional, but the slight droopiness in his eyelids ruined the effect.

"These students are here for their detention. A couple of Slytherins and a Hufflepuff are on their way as well," she said, "I presume you will be fit to watch over them until their three hours are up?"

"Yes, Minerva. I'll keep my eye on them, you can be sure of it," he attempted to say firmly.

"Right, then, I'll be on way. I'll be back to collect these two later," McGonagall said hesitantly, and gave Professor Quirrell one last suspicious look before whipping her robes around her and leaving the classroom. The second she was gone, Professor Sprout appeared, with a large, burly Hufflepuff boy trudging along behind her.

"Hello, Quirinus," she said kindly, "I've brought Darren here for you,"

Before Professor Quirrell had a chance to speak, Professor Slughorn's voice came drifting in through the open door, and seconds later he appeared, followed by two lanky Slytherins. He was chattering happily and animatedly, but they seemed to be ignoring every word he was saying. They appeared to be younger than Sirius and me by a few good years, but the look the taller one of them eyed me with was still intimidating enough to cause me to avert my gaze.

"Got more for me, eh?" Quirrell asked Slughorn, who ended his story about what sounded like a very eventful Quidditch World Cup mid-sentence, and beamed at the teacher, thrusting out his chest and looping his fingers through the loops on his pants.

"Sure do. These two have gotten themselves in quite a bit of trouble, but I had no problem putting them in their place. It's your turn now," Slughorn boomed, and smiles finally appeared on the two boys' faces, though their grins were considerably more malicious looking than their Head's.

"Very well," Quirrell nodded, and Slughorn left, taking Professor Sprout with him. He continued with his story from where he had left off, even though the Herbology teacher hadn't heard the beginning of it, and I could still hear him yelling "_One thousand _Galleons, can you believe it?" from all the way down the hall.

My attention was diverted when Quirrell stood up suddenly, rushed over to the door to lock it, and hurried back to his desk as if worried one of the five of us had managed to wreak havoc in the two seconds that he was gone. He stood upright, staring at us, then cleared his throat.

"Right. Wands, please," he said. I opened my mouth to argue, not understanding, but the four boys all immediately reached into their pockets and willingly placed their wands into Quirrell's outstretched hand. He turned to me, blinking impatiently, and I did the same, feeling unsafe and slightly worried without my wand on me.

We stood there for a few awkwardly silent moments, and I decided to break the tension in the room.

"So, er, Professor Quirrell, what subject do you teach?" I asked. The Hufflepuff boy snickered, and the one of the Slytherins whispered something to the other one. Sirius was still silent.

"Muggle Studies, but I have to ask you to refrain from talking," Quirrell said, then gestured towards the empty desks in front of him, "Have a seat, all of you,"

The Slytherins immediately headed for the far corner. Sirius chose a desk on the right side of the room by the windows, and I hesitantly sat in the desk next to him. The Hufflepuff boy sat right behind me, and I could feel his unpleasant breath on the back of my neck.

"Want to know why I'm here?" he whispered, and I whipped my head around to look at him. He leered at me, revealing several missing teeth, "I was talking to a pretty girl like you and she went and said that I was _harassing _her. Isn't that just mad?" he chuckled, and I felt a cold shiver run down my spine.

"I suggest you go sit somewhere else before I knock the teeth you still have out of your mouth," Sirius hissed from my other side, and I looked over at him in surprise. He was narrowing his eyes angrily at the boy, and his nostrils were flaring the way they always did when he was upset about something.

The Hufflepuff scoffed, but there was fear in his eyes as he stared back at Sirius. He stood up, pushing the desk he had been sitting in out of the way; it made a loud, piercing shriek as the metal legs scraped against the floor.

"Quiet!" Quirrell yelled from the front of the room, lifting his head from the book he had taken out of his desk. Darren took one last look at Sirius and me before staggering to a different seat several rows away, at which point he placed his head down on the desk and began to snore.

I looked around the room, away from the nauseating sight of him drooling all over his hand; the Slytherins were huddled together in the corner, whispering quietly. Quirrell was reading again, but his eyes were closing and snapping open over and over again as if he was trying hard not to fall asleep. Sirius was resting his chin on the palm of his hand and gazing out the window at the darkening sky. Suddenly, he turned to face Quirrell and thrust his hand into the air.

I watched as he waited for several moments, but Quirrell's eyes were now closed more often than they were open and he didn't notice Sirius' attempts to get his attention.

"Professor?" Sirius finally said, losing patience, and Quirrell again jumped, dropping his book onto his desk with a loud thud.

"Yes?" he blinked rapidly, staring at Sirius as if he had never seen a teenage boy with a question before.

"May I work on homework?" Sirius asked, and I gaped, marveling at the fact that Sirius was actually asking _permission_ to work on an assignment, as he normally waited for the last possible moment to complete his homework. He had uttered "Why do today what I can do tomorrow?" so many times it was a wonder he ever got anything done.

"Er, well, I'm not sure if you're really supposed to…" Quirrell trailed off, looking uncomfortable, "As long as you stay quiet, I guess I don't see why not," he said finally, and Sirius grinned. My mouth dropped even farther. Why was Sirius _smiling_ about doing _homework_? I knew I had been slightly delirious due to my lack of sleep, but I didn't know I was _that _out of it.

Sirius pulled a quill, an ink bottle, and a piece of crumpled up parchment out of his pocket. I watched warily as he smoothed out the paper, uncapped the bottle of ink, and began to write. It appeared as if he really _was _doing homework.

Raising my eyebrows in pleasant surprise, I shook my head and turned away, deciding that, since I didn't conveniently carry around assignments in _my _pockets, I might as well sleep if I had nothing better to do. Sighing, I rested my head on my arms, closed my eyes, and began to drift off. My mind already felt lighter, as if grateful that I was finally letting it rest.

I was just about to completely fall asleep, right on the edge of consciousness, when I was rudely awakened by something bouncing off of the top of my head.

**A/N: Thanks for being so understanding about my lack of time to write, hahah. You guys are the absolute best.**

**Thanks also for the reviews, as always, and please keep it up! :)**


	25. Notes

**A/N: If you're wondering why I disappeared for I don't even know how long, it's because my family and I went on an impromptu camping trip and I had absolutely no internet connection. Sorry to keep you guys waiting!**

I raised my head angrily, upset by the interruption from what could have been a very pleasant nap, and looked around for whatever it was that had hit me.

The only things I could see on the floor were various ink stains, sweet wrappers, and stray quills. My eyes landed finally by the toe of my shoe, next to which was lying a crumpled piece of parchment. I looked around the room to find the culprit; the Hufflepuff boy was still sound asleep and the Slytherins were still immersed in a hushed conversation.

I reluctantly turned my head towards Sirius. He was staring out the window again, but mere seconds after I had shifted my gaze over to him, he glanced over his shoulder at me and gestured with his head towards the paper ball on the floor. Before I had a chance to react, he looked back out at the darkening sky, seemingly finding the trees of the Forbidden Forest suddenly fascinating.

Sliding down in my seat, I grabbed at the ball of parchment with my hand, wrapping my slightly trembling fingers around it before scrambling back up to a seating position. I practically fell out of my chair in the process, and cast a nervous glance up at Professor Quirrell only to see that he was asleep again, his face pressed against the pages of his book.

The Slytherins in the corner sniggered, and my face burned red as I nervously smoothed out the paper, running my hand over it to flatten the creases. It was probably unnecessary to even it out as well as I did, but, in all honesty, I was stalling, struck with anxiety to see what Sirius could have to say that was so important he couldn't wait to say it in person.

Once Sirius began to glance at me again, this time with a strange look that seemed to say "Why the bloody hell haven't you read it yet?", I finally gulped down the nerves creeping up my throat and read the note on the parchment to myself.

_Are you angry with me? _

I scanned over the paper several more times, wondering if there was something I was missing, or if perhaps he had written the remainder of the message in some kind of invisible ink that I had to figure out how to reveal.

After flipping the parchment over several times, which earned me nothing but a loud noise and more sniggers from the Slytherins, I was forced to admit that those five words were the entirety of what Sirius was so desperate to say.

It seemed juvenile, like what a little girl would ask her friend on the playground after they got in a fight over who got to go down the slide first. But if Sirius had gone to the trouble to write it on a note and throw it at my head in detention, it must have been important.

I looked over at him again, this time inquisitively. He was staring back at me instead of out the window, and there was a nervous look on his face. I blinked at him a couple times, and he seemed to hesitate, then offered me a feeble smile.

It was my mind's first response to keep my face straight, not to betray any emotion whatsoever. I struggled for a second, concentrating all my effort into keeping the corners of my lips from turning up in the slightest. Sirius' smile faltered, then turned into a scowl, but he didn't look cross. The sudden droop of his eyes made him look more like a sad puppy than anything else.

My heart, traitorous as it was, wavered in my chest, and it forced my mouth to curl into a reluctant smile before my brain even had time to fight back. Sirius immediately brightened, and he excitedly gestured towards the parchment still lying in front of me, using his other hand to pick up his quill and pretend to write something.

Catching on to what he was trying to say, I pulled a Self-Inking quill I always carried around in case of emergencies out of my pocket, as this definitely qualified as an emergency, and tapped the feathered end against my chin, trying to think of how to respond. A simple "no" didn't seem as if it would be enough, and there was no way I would tell the truth and say "yes".

If I told him that I _was _upset with him, he would want to know why. And that would cause us to delve into an awkward conversation I was definitely not willing to have.

"I like you, even though you're hurt because you think I don't, which is why I'm angry, because I hate that you want me to want you even though you don't want me" was the most truthful response I could think of, and if I scribbled _that _onto the parchment and handed it to him he would think that I had gone mad. He wouldn't be that far off; I was inching dangerously closer to insanity each day.

I cursed myself for acting so obviously cross; it was obvious that he would sense my negativity and bring it up somehow. Life would have been so much easier if I had any control over my emotions. If I had been able to act as if nothing was bothering me, Sirius wouldn't have known anything was wrong and I wouldn't be spending detention wondering what to say to him by means of secretive note-passing.

Inspiration struck after what seemed like hours but was probably little more than a minute. After my stroke of genius, I hastily scrawled my response right underneath where Sirius had written his note:

_Why would I be angry with you?_

It was one of my more brilliant ideas, if I do say so myself; it wasn't a confirmation or declination, but a way to understand why he asked what he had. Clearly he must have thought he had done something wrong if he was worried that I was irritated with him. It was sneaky, but answering a question with another question was quite often the way to go.

At least, it worked when my mum came home from the grocery store and asked why I hadn't washed the dishes, and I responded with: "Did you do something new with your hair? It looks wonderful!"

I crumpled the paper back up, re-wrinkling all the creases I had worked hard to smooth over, and threw it lightly at Sirius. It landed in the middle of his desk (James wasn't mistaken when he said I was a decent Chaser) and sat waiting for Sirius to open it.

He gave me one last strange look, then unfolded the parchment and scanned over it. Without so much as a glance in my direction, he dipped his quill into the ink bottle already open on his desk and began to write. I impatiently attempted to glance at the words, but his hand covered them up and I didn't get a chance before he again formed a paper ball and threw it back over to me.

_I don't know. I was wondering the same thing. _

I again reread the message several times, feeling a mixture of exasperation and indignation. So he _didn't _think he had done anything wrong. It was both a good and bad development; good that it helped me avoid embarrassing responses to potentially uncomfortable questions, but bad in the fact that he believed himself innocent.

As if telling a girl that you're upset about her not liking you, and then proceeding to reject her offer to sit next to her the next day in order to sit next to a _different _girl was a completely gallant thing to do.

Boys.

_I'm not angry with you. _

I threw my response back to him with a bit more force this time. How was I supposed to convey my feelings without revealing information I definitely did not want him to know? My only option was to lie, straighten my shoulders, and act as if nothing had happened. Otherwise, I looked much too suspicious.

_What's wrong then? _Sirius' next message said. My heart, so inclined to commit treason whenever Sirius was around, floated again in response to Sirius' concern.

_Nothing. I'm fine. _

_I heard that when a girl says she's fine, it doesn't really mean she's fine._

I cursed Remus under my breath, certain it had been him that shared my advice with Sirius. I had decided to lie; I couldn't turn back now.

_Normally, yes. But I really am fine._

Sirius looked at me through narrowed eyes, as if scrutinizing me. He raised a single eyebrow, smirked, then began to write a response. This time, after the ball of parchment bounced off my left elbow, I felt a slight sense of dread. Anything he could say that he found that amusing couldn't be very pleasant.

_Girl problems?_

I scoffed out loud at his nerve, causing Quirrell to shift slightly in his sleep. Of course he would blame my moodiness on the one thing he most certainly didn't understand about women; the fact that he happened to be correct in his assumption of my current condition was completely irrelevant.

I was about to answer with a completely capitalized "NO", complete with more exclamation points than necessary, but hesitated. It _was _a good excuse, and would definitely get him to shut up on the matter.

_Maybe. _

Sirius read my response with a wrinkled nose, and I resisted the urge to laugh.

_I hope you feel better soon. _

Damn my heart to the depths of the lake. Again, it expanded with joy at Sirius' kind words, though I was determined not to feel anything remotely close to affection for him. It was so difficult when, even with his disgust, he still wished me a quick, er, recovery. Sirius' sweet side was all too irresistible.

_Thanks_.

Sirius was just biting his lip in an infuriatingly attractive way, seemingly thinking about what to write next, when a shadow passed over my desk. I tore my eyes from Sirius' mouth and lifted my head slowly, only to look straight at Professor Quirrell.

He couldn't have been much older than us, very obviously in his early twenties, but the stern look on his face was surprisingly intimidating coming from someone who had been cowering under the gaze of Professor McGonagall not too long ago. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was looking between Sirius and me with a look of mingling disapproval and exasperation.

"I don't believe passing notes is an activity worthy of detention, do you?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"No, sir," I mumbled, hearing the Slytherins in the corner laugh cruelly again. Darren had awoken as well, and he was looking over at us with a satisfied smirk on his face.

"And you, Mr. Black?" Quirrell turned to Sirius.

"No, sir," Sirius repeated after me, and he was wearing a curious expression, "How do you know my name, sir?"

"Oh, every teacher in this school knows your name. You and James Potter have had quite an effect here," Quirrell said dully, but Sirius was grinning, looking pleased with himself, "Now if I could ask you to hand over that note, please," Quirrell continued, gesturing towards the parchment still sitting flattened on Sirius' desk.

Sirius calmly handed the parchment to Quirrell, who scanned over it, his eyes travelling down the page. Once he reached the end, he glanced at me uncomfortably, then lowered the paper and looked between Sirius and me again.

"I won't give you another detention, but I will have to confiscate this," Quirrell told us, pulling his wand out of his pocket and waving it, Vanishing the parchment in his hand, "And put that away," he added sharply, pointing towards the quill and ink bottle still sitting in front of Sirius.

Silently, Sirius shoved the items back into his robe, then leaned back in his seat and folded his hands on his desk, looking up at Quirrell expectantly.

"Anything else, sir?" he asked sweetly, and Quirrell's nostrils flared at the obvious sarcasm in Sirius' tone.

"You," he wheeled on me, then gestured towards the other side of the room, "Go sit over there,"

"But, sir, shouldn't you be making him-" I started to say, but Quirrell cut me off.

"Go," he repeated, then wordlessly turned on his heel and walked back over to his desk.

Grumbling under my breath, I pushed my chair back and walked around to the line of desks next to the opposite wall. Still huffing angrily, I plopped down into a chair and slumped as low as I could, glaring at Quirrell over the top of the desk. He looked back at me, and there seemed to be a slightly apologetic look on his face.

I softened, sitting upright. It wasn't his fault; Sirius had gotten on his nerves. I knew all too well what that felt like, as Sirius had no trouble being frustratingly cheeky. He had driven some teachers near the point of hysteria in the past.

Quirrell didn't fall asleep again, but seemed to have his eyes trained unfalteringly on Sirius for the remainder of the detention. I did the same; Sirius had resumed his sudden inclination to stare outside again, though I still couldn't see anything other than trees, grass and the occasional owl flitting over the tops of the tree beds. I figured he was just thinking, but I had no idea what could possibly be on his mind.

Probably a girl, by which I meant whichever member of the female population of Hogwarts he had last seen fluttering her eyelashes and making kissy faces at him.

Though I looked over at him every few moments, trying to gauge what he was pondering so deeply about, he not once glanced over at me. It was mostly his fault I was stuck on the opposite side of the room, but he didn't think to mouth "Sorry" or even give me a pitying look. He seemed to have completely forgotten about my existence.

Whatever he was thinking about, it definitely wasn't about me.

**A/N: This was super short. I suck. I'm sorry.**

**The next one will be longer, I promise. **


	26. Right

I gained a newfound appreciation of alone time the next day.

Lily, though I loved her dearly, got on my nerves quite a bit with her never-ending questioning in the morning, in between classes, and even _during_ class. It was practically impossible to concentrate when she was constantly leaning towards my desk and whispering when we were supposed to be working silently. "Any developments with Sirius?" turned into "Do you still think he fancies you?" and was then replaced with an exasperated "Why don't you want to tell me anything?" after I replied with "If you ask me one more question about Sirius, I'm going to purposely insult a hippogriff". It was especially irritating that she became all red and flustered and refused to say a word whenever I tried to reverse the roles and ask her about James.

Remus asked about Sirius almost as much as Lily did, and every moment he wasn't pestering me about his farfetched theory about Sirius liking me, he was talking about Scarlett. My initial happiness that he had confided in me was replaced with the wish that he had never told me in the first place, because it became increasingly difficult to hear him rant about how great Scarlett was when I still saw her incessantly staring at Sirius in class. Her offering for Remus to sit next to her on my bed seemed to have given him false hope that I didn't have the heart to shut down.

Scarlett wasn't the only one still harboring feelings for Sirius. Mary and Isabelle still acted the same way towards him as they always had, though the latter became considerably flirtier after the incident in the dormitory the previous day. This had always frustrated me, but, for some reason, it became almost unbearable as I listened to the two of them sigh when he ran his hand through his hair in Transfiguration.

Sirius chose to sit next to me at lunch after two seemingly eternal class periods, which wasn't exactly a very exciting development as it was basically the only seat left open; Lily and Remus, however, exchanged grinning looks that annoyed me to no end. Scarlett, Mary and Isabelle's faces all momentarily betrayed their jealousy, which also bothered me. I decided at that moment that James and Peter were my new favorites, as they had yet to do anything to irritate me that day.

As if reading my mind and trying to tell me I had made the wrong the decision, James chose that moment to tell one of his dirtiest jokes to date; it involved the use of the term "Whomping Willow" in an admittedly creative way. Peter, who was sitting directly across from me, burst into predictable laughter, spewing his chewed-up bits of pot roast all over my freshly-filled plate.

I stared down at my spoiled meal for a few moments, then placed my hands on my temples and closed my eyes, collecting myself.

"Sorry, Charlotte," I could hear Peter say.

"It's fine. I wasn't hungry anyway," I lied, feeling the sudden unexpected urge to burst into frustrated tears, "You know, I think I'm going to go spend free period by myself,"

"You can get yourself a new plate, Charlotte," Lily raised an eyebrow as Peter burned red, looking ashamed.

"Oh, no, I know. I just have a homework assignment I have to get done and I'll finish quicker if I'm alone," I lied again, looking Lily straight in the eye unfalteringly. My desperation to have some time to myself somehow led to me gaining the ability to lie without a hint of anxiety, or perhaps it was a result of spending prolonged periods of time with the sneakiest of the Marauders.

"For what class?" Sirius inquired through a mouthful of his lunch, and I repressed the urge to ask why he cared.

"Herbology," I said instead, choosing the first class that popped into my head though I was fairly certain there wasn't actually any Herbology homework.

"There was a Herbology assignment?" Lily asked with a small frown, confirming my suspicion.

"Yeah, it was that one, you know. The one with the thing," I said stupidly, and stood up hastily before anyone could say a word, "See you all in Potions,"

I wandered the corridors of the school without a set destination in mind, feeling relieved to be rid of all company. All I wanted was to not care about Sirius, but it was so difficult to do when everyone I spoke to made me think of him in one way or another. It wasn't as if I could forget about him anyway, but I would have much preferred distractions to reminders.

I attempted to think about anything but him as I travelled down countless random hallways, but all the images in my mind were punctured by memories of him, most often the one of him at the bottom of the stairs, telling me that he couldn't "win them all", followed closely by the one of him choosing to sit next to Isabelle instead of me. I managed to distract myself with the thought of Quidditch, of all things, for at least two minutes before I remembered how he had defended me from the creepy Hufflepuff in detention.

Finally coming across a seat on the fifth floor, surrounded by windows overlooking the lake, I settled into the cushion and leaned my head against the wall. I pulled the latest issue of Witch Weekly out of my bag and began to flip through it, finding comfort in the pop culture trash. It was a good diversion for all of ten minutes, before I opened to an article about the American band we had all seen over Christmas break.

Memories came flooding back, and I closed the magazine in disgust, shoving it back into my bag and pulling out a piece of parchment instead. I balanced an open ink bottle on the windowsill next to me, dipped a quill into it, and held the tip of the quill over the blank paper. I hesitated, watching as a drop of ink splashed onto the parchment and created a black circle on the otherwise empty page.

Drawing was something I rarely did, as I found it a bit of a chore and was very seldom in the mood for it. However, once I began to sketch, I found it hard to stop. I wasn't even entirely sure what I was drawing, but it became clear after a while that the figure I had created bore an undeniable resemblance to Sirius. I blinked down at the paper, hesitated, then continued, adding details here and there as students began to finish lunch and appear in the corridor, passing by me on their way to class.

My artistic ability wasn't impressive, but it would have been clear to anyone who my drawing was of. He was wearing my favorite expression of his; not a frown, a pout, or even a cheeky smirk, but a sweet, friendly smile. The kind he wore when he was actually being kind, when I felt more of an urge to kiss him than to rip all the hair out his head.

"Let's go, loser,"

I practically jumped out of my skin as a hand reached out and grabbed the paper out of my hand. I let out a cry of indignation, and looked up to see Sirius grinning down at me. I glanced from him to the drawing he was holding with horror, and he laughed, handing the piece of parchment back to me without as much as a glance towards it.

"You can have your homework back, there's no need to cry," he smirked, and I hastily put the paper in my bag, careful not to let him see what was on it. My heart was pounding and my mouth was dry, side effects of the momentary terror I had felt in the face of a potentially disastrous situation.

"How does anyone get anything done being friends with you?" I croaked, my throat still scratchy with fear.

"I know, I know, my beauty is distracting, but don't let it hold you back, love," Sirius sighed theatrically, and leaned back against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

"How'd you know I was here?" I asked, my mind still fuzzy and only worsened by the validity of his statement.

"Do you really have to ask?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, then patted his pocket. My eyes followed his hand, and I recognized the outline of an object through the fabric of his robe. I let out a huff of exasperated air through my nose; that damn map. Sirius gave me a strange look, but I cleared my throat and spoke before he had a chance to say anything.

"Where are we going?"

"Sorry?" Sirius blinked.

"You said 'let's go'. Where are we going?" I repeated, already dreading whatever his answer would be.

"Oh, right. We've got to figure out stage two of the plan," he brightened, and I repressed a scowl. I hated that he could act so cheery around me, as if his confession merely two nights before had never even happened.

"Can't we do that here?" I tried my hardest not to whine, and Sirius looked around at the otherwise empty corridor and shrugged before plopping down on the seat next to me.

It was a cushioned bench just slightly too large for one but considerably too small for two, something I hadn't thought about when I offered that we continue our conversation without moving somewhere else.

His leg was pressed against mine and our shoulders hit uncomfortably when I tried, and failed, to shift my position. I was squeezed between his left side and the wall, breathing slowly and with immense difficulty. I was positive there was a grimace on my face that contrasted deeply with the lazy smile on Sirius' as he leaned his shoulder blades against the wall and turned his head to face me.

"Comfy, eh?" he grinned, and I hugged my knees to my chest to try to minimize the amount of contact between us. I found it much easier to stop the dizzy sensation in my head when it was my foot pressed against his leg as opposed to my thigh.

"Lovely," I choked out, digging my chin into the crevice where my knees met and staring down at the tips of my shoes, wishing I could be anywhere but there. All my other friends were constantly reminding me of Sirius, but actually being with him was the worst. It was hard not to feel anything towards him when he was so close that I could hear every breath he took.

Sirius was silent for a few moments, and I could feel his gaze on me as I continued to stare at my toes.

"Shall we go somewhere else then?" he said finally.

"Sure," I responded a little too quickly, and jumped to my feet instantaneously in a desperate attempt to distance myself from him. Sirius remained where he was, seemingly frozen, but was on his feet beside me within seconds.

"You need to learn to make up your mind," he said quietly and shook his head, smiling softly, before turning on his heel and loping down the corridor. I stood, staring after him incredulously as he neared the end of the hallway, growing smaller with each step. My mind was racing with his words, and how a double meaning I didn't understand seemed to have been laced through them, "You coming?" he called over his shoulder, pausing before he turned the corner.

Shaking my head, I jogged to catch up, though my sensible half was urging me to run in the opposite direction. I rounded the corner he had disappeared behind and was about to open my mouth and say something when I came to a jarring halt, greeted by an unwelcome sight. Sirius was standing in the middle of the corridor, mumbling something to the petite Ravenclaw standing in front of him.

She was biting her lower lip and twirling a strand of her curled hair around her finger, staring up at Sirius as if he was the single most fascinating thing she had ever seen in her life. My lip curled and my stomach clenched, and I attempted to step backwards and leave silently, but my foot landed on the floor harder than I intended it to.

Sirius' head whipped towards me at the noise, and he stared at me wide-eyed as if seeing me there was completely strange and unexpected. The girl standing in front of him looked around at me as well, but the look on her face was considerably more hostile.

"Sorry, I'll go," I winced, and was about to turn around when Sirius held out his hand.

"No," he said firmly, and looked between me and the girl before extending his hand even farther. It took me a heart-stopping moment to realize he expected me to grab onto it, but I did so with shaking fingers, allowing him to pull me towards him. I almost anticipated toppling into his chest, but he let go of my palm when I was still a good distance away from him, at least compared to how close we had been a couple minutes earlier.

The girl swept a chilling gaze over me, made an unreadable expression that almost looked maddeningly smug, then turned back to Sirius, adopting the same previous look of enchantment.

"You were saying something?" she urged, batting her eyelashes. I pursed my lips and clenched my fists at my sides, feeling both uncomfortable and a, suddenly, a bit violent.

"Right, yeah. It was, er, nice to meet you," Sirius said awkwardly.

"We've met before," the girl said dully, the seductive look in her eyes disappearing instantaneously.

"Right. I meant it was nice to see you again," Sirius corrected himself, and the girl crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at me again, wearing an expression that said she was either about to cry or scream. Thankfully, she did neither, but placed a slender hand on Sirius' shoulder instead. He stared down at it with what looked like a look of panic, though I couldn't grasp why.

"Hopefully we'll see each other soon then," she smiled, then turned and flounced away to join her two friends, who I hadn't even noticed were standing halfway down the corridor. Once the girl reached them, all three of them glanced back at us before leaving Sirius and me alone.

"Who was that?" I asked once they had safely rounded the opposite corner, and I attempted to keep my voice as casual-sounding as possible.

"Her name's Josie," Sirius shrugged, not looking at me and scuffing his toe against the ground in an entirely un-Sirius-like fashion.

"She was cute," I admitted truthfully.

"Yeah," he shrugged again. I blinked at him silently, confused, before continuing with rising intrigue.

"She fancies you,"

"Well, _clearly_," Sirius scoffed, finally looking up and rolling his eyes in a manner that was much more like him, "But she was a bit pushy, wasn't she?" he added as a means of explanation to my unasked question of why he had clearly rejected her.

"Didn't seem much different than all the other girls you go out with," it was my turn to shrug, and Sirius narrowed his eyes at me in a scrutinizing manner.

"No, I reckon she wasn't," he agreed, "Why do you care?" he continued as an afterthought and tilted his head to the side, which made him appear like a curious puppy. I had never really realized how many dog-like traits he had until after I found out he truly _was _a dog. Sometimes.

"Can't a friend care about another friend's love life?" I said nonchalantly, forcing myself to look straight into his eyes in order to not appear suspicious. I even added in an amused smile, as if Sirius' female relations were entertainment for me, as opposed to a means for heartbreak, "You've asked me about Remus plenty of times," I pointed out after seeing that he didn't look entirely convinced.

"Aha!" he exclaimed, "So there _is _something between you two!" he said triumphantly, and I cursed myself before taking a deep, exasperated breath.

"_No,_" I stated firmly, struggling to keep all hints of annoyance out of my voice, "It was just an example,"

"Oh," Sirius said, then, as if suddenly remembering where we were, began to walk in the same direction Josie and her friends had gone, "Right. Well, there's nothing between Josie and me, either,"

"Good," I said without thinking, and my eyes widened as Sirius turned to look at me with an inquisitive expression.

"Good?" he repeated, smiling slightly, "Why is that?"

"Oh, you know, well, she-" I stammered, trying to find a reasonable excuse, "She didn't seem…right for you. As your friend, I wouldn't want you to be with someone that isn't right for you, of course,"

"Oh?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, "And who would be right for me?"

_Me_, every inch of me wanted to scream, but I shrugged instead, muttering something incomprehensible under my breath and staring at the ground, thankful for the sheet of hair that fell over the side of my face and hid my burning cheeks from Sirius' view.

When I finally snuck a glance at him, he was staring straight ahead again, and there was an unrecognizable expression on his face. I again wondered what he was thinking about, but remained silent as we shuffled down the corridor. I recognized the route after a short while, and was not all surprised to arrive at the door to the secret passage to Hogsmeade a few minutes later.

"Is this a good idea?" I asked nervously as he tapped his wand on the outside of the mirror again, looking around and hoping I wouldn't hear footsteps any time soon.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Sirius asked as the mirror swung open, and he didn't wait for my response before he scrambled through the opening and into the large, dim room I had hoped I wouldn't have to see ever again.

"We've only gotten one out of seven detentions done, I would have at least thought we'd stay away from here until we finished one punishment instead of risking another-" I rambled, but Sirius cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"You worry too much. Besides, we can't risk anyone overhearing anything we say. The library won't cut it anymore," he shook his head, and plopped down onto the floor, sitting cross-legged and looking up at me expectantly.

"Yeah, _I _worry too much," I grumbled as I complied with Sirius' silent wish and lowered myself down to the ground as well, sitting across from Sirius, who was grinning at me, "I still don't understand why we can't just tell the other Marauders. We could probably use the help,"

"Don't you like having our own little secret?" Sirius asked, and his smile was replaced with a slight pout. I shrugged, but my heart constricted with guilt at the disheartened expression on his face.

"I guess so," I tried to say reassuringly, but Sirius didn't seem to buy it, and his voice was considerably duller when he spoke again.

"I've been thinking that we should get this done next week," he told me, gazing over at the boxes in the corner with a half-anxious, half-wistful look.

"Isn't that a bit soon?" I asked nervously, and he turned towards me again, blinking slowly.

"It's not as if it'll take a whole lot of preparation," he replied almost bitterly, and I gaped momentarily, a bit taken aback by the unexpected shift in tone.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" I tried to take a different approach, my previous desire to get the plan done no matter what having disappeared sometime during my adoption of the unrealistic goal to not have feelings for Sirius anymore. My original emotions of dread and uncertainty again filled my stomach whenever I thought about the plan, which was fairly often.

"Don't try to tell me it's too "low" or whatever it was that you said again," Sirius warned, furrowing his eyebrows.

"But-" I started to say, but he interrupted me.

"Don't forget that these are the same people who attacked Mary last year," he pointed out, and I hesitated before conceding his argument with a sad nod, remembering how it had taken her months to get over the incident and how she somtimes still woke up in a cold sweat, screaming.

She had taken a trip to the hospital wing in our fifth year, as she was beginning to feel the first signs of the illness that had taken her out of the Quidditch game I had had to play in, and was making her way back to the Gryffindor tower when Avery and Mulciber stumbled upon her. It sickened me to even think of the details, but they did enough to traumatize her completely. If a prefect hadn't walked by and stopped them before things went too far, I shuddered to think of what might have happened. It still shocked me that the two had managed to escape expulsion.

"You're right," I whispered, and Sirius nodded curtly, a blazing look in his eye.

"I've already checked the schedules. We've got Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins first thing in the morning next Tuesday. I reckon we should do it then," he said in a surprisingly authoritative tone, staring at an empty spot on the wall as if the image was playing out in his head, "I've already taken notice of where they sit, so we'll just have to sneak into the room the night before to set up the net,"

"Sneaking around at night hasn't exactly worked out very well for us," I grimaced.

"We'll have to risk it," Sirius shrugged, then continued as if there hadn't been an interruption, "We'll put a charm on the net to make it invisible, then we'll wait until the right moment and nonverbally cast the spell that makes the snakes move. Right after that, we'll release the net. The only problem is that I have no clue how we're going to get Mulciber to eat the sweet,"

"We could just forget about the sweet," I offered, feeling a bit guilty that the whole pants-wetting idea had been mine in the first place. Dropping over a hundred fake snakes on the Slytherins seemed punishment enough for me, but the look Sirius gave me just then managed to change my mind completely, "_Or _we could put regular sweets on everyone else's desks and hope for the best?"

"That's…simple," Sirius said slowly, thrusting his lower lip out slightly like I had noticed he always did when he was deep in thought, "But it could be brilliant," he said finally, and I was grateful for the dim lighting, as it hid my suddenly reddened cheeks.

"Really?" I squeaked, and Sirius nodded.

"Yeah. I reckon some people might be a bit apprehensive of strange candy, but we'll just have to make a show out of eating ours so they know it's all right. Besides, Avery and Mulciber are probably daft enough to eat it anyway,"

"What about Professor Bennett?"

"What about him?"

"Won't he confiscate the sweets? He doesn't even allow Sugar Quills in class," I reminded Sirius, and he contemplated my words for a moment.

"He usually doesn't show up until a minute after the bell rings, but that might not be enough time…" he trailed off quietly, but his face brightened a few seconds later, "I think I might be able to earn us at least five extra minutes, which should be more than enough, don't you think?"

"Sure, but how?" I asked, not understanding, and Sirius grinned.

"You and I are going to go bribe a poltergeist," Sirius said calmly, standing up and offering his hand to me for the second time that day, though this time it was to help me up. I clutched onto his fingers as he hoisted me upwards, again expecting to fall against his body but balancing on my sneakers at just the right moment to remain upright.

"Right now?" I groaned as he headed towards the exit with a considerable bounce in his step.

"Of course not, silly. We've got to get to Potions," he chuckled, pulling the Marauder's Map out of his pocket and checking it for passerby before opening the mirror and hopping out of the room.

My thoughts darkened as I followed Sirius, who was striding along casually and whistling happily, to class.

When I had thought that the plan was too complicated, I was wrong.

It was becoming downright impossible.

**A/N: So I'm almost positive I'm going to become one of those people who only updates once a week. I don't want to be, but I started school on Wednesday and I already have homework coming out my butt. I'm sorry times a million, and I promise I will update more often whenever possible!**

**On a happier note, I just want to say WOWOWOWOOOWOWOW. Not only did this story hit TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS, which is INCREDIBLE, it also hit ONE HUNDRED followers. Over a hundred people want to know what's going to happen. A HUNDRED. That blows my mind.**

**Thank you all SO much!**


	27. Trip

"Charlotte,"

"No,"

"Charlotte,"

"No,"

"_Charlotte,_"

"I said _no_, Sirius," I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from whipping my head around to glare at the boy, who was poking me between the shoulder blades incessantly. I dug my nails into the book in my hands, trying to focus on the passage I was supposed to read for Transfiguration; Lily's constant sniggers from my right side and Remus' coy looks from the armchair across from me weren't helping at all.

"Please," Sirius whined, drawing out the "e", and I could practically sense the pout on his face.

"No,"

"_Please_,"

"_No,_"

"PLEASE!" James yelled suddenly, and his quill went clattering to the floor, "I don't even know what this is about, but it's been going on since last period and if you two don't shut up, I'm throwing you both off of the astronomy tower," he warned, raising his finger like a stern father. It was an entirely strange look for him; he was adopting so many of Lily's characteristics, it was a wonder she was still fighting her obvious urges to throw herself on him.

"What's got your wand in a knot?" Sirius teased, leaning on the back of the couch. I could feel his hair on my shoulder and I could have sworn his fingers brushed against my back momentarily, though he immediately pulled back and didn't touch me again.

"Nothing," James grumbled, picking up his quill again and angrily scribbling something on the parchment in front of him. Peter stifled a giggle, and James shot him an admonishing look.

"Do you know something we don't, Peter?" Remus asked, looking between his two friends with a look of amused curiosity.

"McGonagall found James after Potions today and told him-" Peter began eagerly.

"ONE MORE WORD, AND YOU'LL WAKE UP DANGLING FROM A QUIDDITCH POST TOMORROW,"

"-that he's failing Herbology," Peter finished with a satisfied grin, ignoring James' threat.

"You're failing _Herbology_?" Sirius asked incredulously, and James dropped his quill again, putting an exasperated hand on his forehead.

"I don't fail," he muttered, "Ever,"

"It's not as if you put very much effort into anything," Lily pointed out, sounding a bit smug, but her smirk faltered under the look James gave her. It was almost comical; usually it was Lily glaring at James, not the other way around.

"But I never _fail_," James repeated with exasperation, "I'm exceptionally intelligent," he whined.

"And incredibly modest," Remus smiled, but James continued without acknowledging his friend's sarcastic statement.

"I just haven't done very well on the past couple exams, is all," he grumbled, "I can fix it,"

"Who knew you cared so much about your marks?" Isabelle laughed from her perch on the floor where she was braiding Scarlett's long, light hair; I could see Remus glance over at the two of them every few moments. Predictably, Scarlett was not returning Remus' affections, but was blinking up at the spot above my left shoulder where Sirius' head was still hovering.

"I've always gotten the impression that you're 'too cool for school', but I must have been mistaken. Sorry, James," she giggled, though her eyes were still trained on Sirius. Isabelle must have noticed where Scarlett's head was facing as well, for Scarlett let out a loud yelp and grabbed the back of her head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pull so hard," Isabelle said, not sounding the least bit apologetic.

"I don't care _that _much," James sniffed, not having realized earlier that he was ruining his reputation of carelessness and nonchalance. He threw himself back against the armchair he was sitting in, slouching down in the seat.

"You better not be talking about Quidditch," Mary called out from the bottom of the steps to the girls' dormitory and strode over to us, with a broomstick in her hand and a sour expression on her face.

"Why would I be talking about Quidditch?" James asked with his eyes closed, still sprawled out on the armchair lazily.

"We have practice in ten minutes, James," Mary sighed, and James' eyes snapped open. He scrambled upwards, looking frantically at the watch on his wrist.

"I'm falling apart!" he wailed.

"Maybe you should get yourself a tutor or something," Isabelle suggested.

"Maybe I should," James thought for a moment, then grinned, looking more like himself, "What do you say, Lily?"

"_Me?" _Lily gaped, "Keep dreaming," she scoffed, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe he would even dare to ask her.

"Oh, I do," James said wistfully, and Lily rolled her eyes, though her cheeks flushed a barely noticeable pink. James then turned to me with a smile, "Charlotte? Care to tutor your dear friend, who has _always _been here for you?" he asked dramatically, clasping his hands beneath his chin.

"I-" I began, but was cut off by Sirius, whose voice was dangerously close to my ear. I jumped slightly, narrowly avoiding a collision with my shoulder and the bottom of Sirius' chin. Knowing how strong his jawline was, it would probably end up hurting me a lot more than it would hurt him; the awkwardness would be even _more _painful.

"Hey, she's mine, mate. Get your own," he said jokingly, though I thought I might have detected a hint of hostility in his voice as well. I again felt his hand against my back, but he withdrew his knuckles just as quickly as he had the first time. I shuddered involuntarily at the mixture of his words and his touch, wondering why he had been so quick to stop me from agreeing to tutor James.

"Message received," James laughed, putting his hands up.

"I'm sure Charlotte can manage you and James at the same time," Mary furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest, having seemingly forgotten about the Quidditch practice she had been rushing to get to on time.

"As alluring as James can be, I'm not sure Charlotte is into that sort of thing," Sirius said in false sincerity, and I finally turned around to indignantly slap him on the arm.

"You're disgusting," I yelped, burning crimson, but Sirius just grinned back at me innocently.

"That's not what I meant," Mary clarified, sounding pained, "I was talking about _tutoring_,"

"Well, in that case, I'm sure she _could_ manage, but I'm not big on the idea of sharing," Sirius smiled, and I searched his face for any hints as to why. I watched as he made eye contact with James, then glanced quickly at Lily before looking back at his friend. James appeared confused for a second, until comprehension dawned on his face and he grinned appreciatively.

I, too, realized what Sirius was doing: he wanted James to convince Lily to be his tutor instead, knowing that James cherished every moment of alone time he could possibly have with the girl. I felt simultaneously impressed and, admittedly, disappointed.

"Of course you don't. I wouldn't dream of stealing your tutor," James said solemnly, then plopped down on the couch next to Lily, wrapping an arm around her shoulder casually. She eyed him apprehensively, but I couldn't help but notice that she didn't shrug him off as she normally would. James seemed surprised as well, and he stammered for a second before regaining his composure.

"Do you _really_ need a tutor?" Lily asked dully, and James' eyes widened.

"Yes, yes! I do!" he said a little too excitedly, and Lily sighed.

"You have to promise that this will be _strictly_ educational-" she began, but her words were muffled when James wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on her cheek. He pulled back a moment later, grinning, and Lily gaped at him, clearly unsure what to say. I could hear Sirius chuckle quietly behind me.

"You're a gift, Lily Evans," James said lovingly, and Lily frowned, her cheeks considerably even darker than they had been before.

"Don't ever kiss me again," she sniffed, though she didn't seem angry at all. When she snapped her book shut and stood up, mumbling that she had to get something from the dormitories, it appeared that she was only stalking away to prove a point.

"I think you pushed your luck, mate," Peter laughed once she was out of earshot, but James shook his head, still smiling from ear to ear.

"I'm getting closer, I just _know _it," he sighed happily.

"You know what else is getting closer? _Quidditch practice_," Mary reminded him with a glance at her watch, "Two minutes. We're going to be late,"

"I don't even care!" James yelled giddily, leaping upwards running towards the stairs to the boys' dormitory to change.

"I am _not_ waiting for him," Mary scoffed with a shake of her head, then turned and climbed out of the portrait hole, leaving the rest of us behind.

"That was so clever, Sirius, getting Lily to agree to tutor James_,_" Isabelle said in a sickeningly sweet tone, and I could practically sense Sirius puff up his chest behind me.

"I have my moments," he chuckled.

"Speaking of tutoring," Remus spoke up, "Is that what you've been trying to convince Charlotte to do?" he inquired, and I shot him a look.

"Oh, yeah! I almost forgot. Thanks, Remus," Sirius exclaimed, and I resisted the urge to groan, "Please, Charlotte?" he begged again, and I took a deep breath, exasperated.

"No, Sirius, I will not write your Potions essay for you," I said bitterly. Sirius stayed silent for a moment while he adjusted to my lie, but caught on quick enough.

"I'm not asking you to _write_ it. I just need your help,"

"That's not what you said earlier," I trilled, flipping a page of my book casually though I still hadn't read the assigned passage.

"You really asked her to write your essay _for _you?" Remus asked in the judgmental tone he was so skilled in, raising a single eyebrow.

"I know, can you believe it?" I smirked, but the smile was wiped off my face when I felt Sirius' hair brush against the side of my face, his lips pausing so close to my ear that I barely restrained myself from letting out a giggle at the tickling sensation caused by his breath against my skin.

"_Now you're the one pushing your luck_," he whispered, and I clutched my book tighter, trying not to think about how, if I turned my head slightly, his lips would be dangerously close to my own.

"F-fine, I'll help…help you write your essay," I stammered, and almost released an audible sigh of relief when he leaned back, away from my face.

"What would I do without you?" he said happily.

"_My _life would be a lot easier without _you_," I muttered under my breath, reluctantly closing my book and placing it in my bag.

"What was that?" Sirius asked brightly.

"Nothing," I said just as sweetly, then hitched my bag over my shoulder and followed him to the portrait hole. I turned back to say goodbye to our friends, lingering less on the suggestive smile on Remus' face and more on the envious expressions occupying the features of Isabelle and Scarlett; it was still satisfying though there was no legitimate reason for the two of them to be jealous of the relationship Sirius and I shared.

Sirius waited until the portrait had closed behind us and there was no chance of him being overheard before turning to look at me with a grateful smile.

"Thank you for finally saying yes. I couldn't do this without you," he exclaimed.

"Oh, I'm sure you could," I waved my hand, looking at the floor to hide my pleased smile; I knew he was trying to suck up to me, and I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was succeeding.

"Well, I _could_, but where's the fun in doing it alone?" he shrugged, not turning around as he trudged down the corridor, again leading me to some destination known only to him.

"_Fun_?" I scoffed.

"You don't think it's going to be fun?" he asked, turning to look at me again. He actually sounded surprised, and his eyes were considerably larger than normal.

"_No. _I don't _want _to bribe a poltergeist," I whined childishly, then almost laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of my statement.

"I didn't realize I was such an inconvenience for you," Sirius said quietly, and the hint of hurt in his voice caused me to regret what I had said. No matter how often he hurt me, admittedly unknowingly, I couldn't handle the guilt I felt when the roles were reversed. All I had to do was remember the cruel words I had spat at him the night of our unfortunate meeting at the Whomping Willow, and I immediately felt the urge to drop to my knees and beg him for forgiveness.

He tended to be pretty good at that whole "I look like a sad puppy that needs comforting so comfort me" thing.

"Oh, no, you're not an inconvenience," I said in an attempt to placate him, "It's just…don't you think telling a poltergeist about our plan is a bit risky? What if it tells someone?"

"Nah, Peeves and I go way back," Sirius responded calmly, not at all fazed by my worries.

"_Peeves_?" I asked incredulously, stopping short in my tracks. Sirius walked a couple more steps before he realized his own feet were the only ones he could hear, and he turned to me, looking amused.

"Have you heard of any other poltergeists at this school?"

"Well, no, I guess not," I admitted, "But I didn't think you would…_Peeves_?" I repeated even more incredulously, not quite able to wrap my mind around the concept of asking possibly the only person, er, creature in the school that was even more notorious for pranking than the Marauders.

"Relax," Sirius chuckled before continuing down the corridor without another word.

I traipsed frantically after him, ignoring the laughs of the fourth year Ravenclaws who noticed me stumble over my feet as I struggled to keep pace with Sirius.

"Are you absolutely positive this is a good idea?" I squeaked.

"You ask me that a lot," Sirius shook his head, "You would think you'd trust me by now,"

"Last time I trusted you I ended up with a week's worth of detention," I pointed out, and I was afraid that Sirius would be upset by the obvious bitterness in my voice, but, to my pleasant surprise, he laughed instead.

"I can't argue with that," he smiled, "Speaking of which, we have less than an hour before said detention, so let's get this done quickly, yeah?"

"The quicker the better," I muttered, and Sirius laughed again, though quieter this time.

We walked along silently and briskly, both intimidated by the prospect of what McGonagall would do to us if we failed to show up for detention on time. Sirius could act like a badass as much as he liked, but there was no denying the fear in his eyes that day we had been caught out of bed after hours. Merlin himself would have been terrified to get on the Transfiguration professor's bad side.

"Sirius?" I asked timidly.

"Hm?"

"How exactly are we going to _bribe _Peeves?" I inquired, and, though Sirius didn't turn, I could see the corner of his lips turn up into what was inevitably a grin.

"I was hoping you would ask," he said mysteriously.

"That's not a good sign," I responded warily, and Sirius finally turned. He was indeed wearing a large grin, and there was also a mischievous spark in his eye that caused my stomach to flip, both out of admiration of his beauty and out of apprehension of whatever he had to say next.

"It's no big deal," he smirked, "You're just going to have to sacrifice yourself as his own personal slave," he winked.

"_WHAT?_" I shrieked, and, as I was a bit too preoccupied with being completely bewildered to remember the trick step in the stairs we were currently walking down, my foot got caught and I fell forward, sliding down the rest of the steps on my stomach and banging my chin against each step in turn. I landed in an ungraceful heap at the foot of the stairs, feeling intense pain and, even worse, complete mortification.

"Oh, shit, Lottie, I was kidding," Sirius exclaimed, bounding down the stairs and kneeling down beside me, grasping my shoulder lightly to turn me over so that I was facing the ceiling instead of the floor, "Bloody hell, are you okay?"

"Peachy keen, jelly bean," I mumbled, stupidly quoting the film my mother had forced me to watch over Christmas holiday as it was the first thing that had popped into my muddled brain. Musicals were so bloody _catchy. _

Sirius peered down at me with concern, and I stared back at him as best I could through the strands of hair that had fallen over my face somewhere between my unfortunate trip and my collision with the floor. I was just about to lift my hand to wipe the hair away, and perhaps sputter very attractively in the process, when Sirius beat me to it.

He softly swept the hair off my face, his fingers brushing softly against my forehead, which helped to somewhat numb the throbbing pain in my skull. I blinked, feeling awfully exposed now that my hair wasn't there to hide the inevitable scarlet color in my cheeks.

"What hurts?" he asked tenderly, and I briefly imagined pulling him on top of me and snogging him right there and then, at the foot of the stairs. I considered telling him my lips hurt; maybe he would kiss them himself in an attempt to make me feel better, "Lottie?"

"Nothing hurts. I'm fine," I lied, choosing the path of reason, and slowly lifted myself up on my elbows, smoothing out the numerous wrinkles in the front of my robes.

"You're bleeding," Sirius said softly, placing a finger under my chin and pulling it away to show the crimson liquid pooled on its surface.

"What's a little blood?" I tried to respond calmly, but my voice was exceptionally high-pitched and I was beginning to feel a bit woozy. The sight of blood tended to do that to me; my own, specifically.

"You hate blood," Sirius smiled sadly, "You almost passed out in Potions third year when you accidentally cut your finger instead of your nettles,"

"You remember that?" I asked, astounded that he could recall such a small detail that had happened so many years ago.

"Hold still," he commanded, ignoring my question.

I complied obediently as he pulled his wand out and placed it against the bottom of my chin, muttering "Episkey" under his breath. I didn't even realize I was watching him open-mouthed until he glanced back up at me; I clasped my lips together and lowered my gaze, embarrassed.

"What does that spell do?" I mumbled, staring at my hands.

"Fixes scrapes, cuts, split lips, all those sorts of things," he explained, "I've learned a few Healing spells to help Moony when he switches back from, you know,"

"Impressive," I breathed, realizing that the stinging sensation I hadn't even noticed in my chin before had disappeared and was replaced with a cool, tingling feeling that lingered for a few moments before disappearing as well.

"Thank you," he smiled, before raising his wand again, "Tergeo," I rubbed my thumb against my chin to feel smooth skin; Sirius had removed all of the dried blood.

"Wow," I breathed again, finding myself incapable of using actual words.

"All better?" he inquired, lifting up my arms as if checking for any more hidden injuries. I was tempted to pretend I was in more pain than I actually was, just to have him dote over me for longer. He was so concerned and so _sweet_, like the kind of guy my father wouldn't hex me for bringing home.

"I think so," I nodded, and Sirius sighed, seemingly relieved.

"Thank Merlin. I am _so _sorry, Lottie. I didn't mean for that to happen," he shook his head, staring at me with wide, apologetic eyes.

"It's alright. It was just a little tumble," I smiled feebly.

"You fell headfirst down half the stairs, Lottie. It was more than just a little tumble," he said. I noticed that he had called me "Lottie" quite a few times, and part of me wished he would stop; every time the name left his lips, the urge to coo at him like a love struck owl grew stronger.

"I'm tough Charlotte now, remember?" I smiled again and Sirius blinked at me a couple times before mimicking my expression. We sat there, awkwardly smiling at each other for several moments, before I cleared my throat and spoke to break the silence, "So, in all honesty, how funny was my fall?"

"Honestly?" Sirius repeated, and I nodded, "Not at all. I was terrified you'd gotten seriously hurt,"

"You were terrified?" I asked softly, and he bit his lip before nodding.

"I'd feel awful if you were hurt because of me," he said just as quietly. I wondered briefly how he would really feel if he knew how many times he _had _hurt me, though in an entirely different way, but my thoughts were interrupted when he continued speaking, "I couldn't handle it, Lottie. I love you,"

"Erbeghf," I choked out unintelligibly, every word that I could have possibly said instead completely disappearing from my vocabulary. The only thing swimming through my mind was the word "holy" and several endings to the phrase, each of which was entirely inappropriate for a school hallway.

"You're one of my best friends," Sirius continued, as my foreign outburst had evidently gone unnoticed, and I felt all the air I had been holding in escape from my throat in response to his clarification.

"You're one of mine, too," I attempted to smile, struggling to keep the disappointment out of my voice, "I l-love you, t-too," I said as calmly as I could, though I couldn't stop myself from stuttering. Sirius stared at me, smiling softly, before standing up and offering me a hand.

"I would love to say that I'm taking you back to the common room to relax, but, alas, we have a detention to get to," he said apologetically as I reached up and intertwined my fingers with his.

"What about Peeves?" I asked as he tightened his grip.

"That can wait," he shrugged with a reassuring smile, then pulled me upwards as he had done earlier that day in the secret room.

As I did then, I felt as if I was about to topple into his chest. Though I had no trouble keeping myself upright earlier in the day, this time, when I tried to put my weight on my right foot, I found that I couldn't. To my humiliation, I actually did fall into Sirius; I expected us both to end up right back on the ground, but he caught me swiftly, adopting the same concerned look he had been wearing before.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, gripping me around the waist tightly.

"I think I might have sprained my ankle," I breathed, more concerned with the fact that _his hand _was_ around my waist _than with the fact that I quite possibly had an actual injury.

"Shit. I'll take you the hospital wing," he said and, before I knew what was happening, he was lifting me up under the knees so that I was cradled in his arms like a child, my injured foot dangling over the side of his forearm.

"Is this really necessary?" I squeaked as he began to walk down the next flight of stairs, clutching me against his chest.

"I don't know how to fix a sprained ankle, and there's no way in hell I'm letting you hop all the way there," he said, and I stared up at the underside of his face, watching in fascination at the way his jaw moved when he talked. My head was swimming, though whether because of the pain I was feeling from my attempt to stand on a sprained ankle or because my nose was immersed in Sirius' musky scent, I wasn't sure, "So, yes, it is necessary,"

"Okay," I agreed quietly, choosing to no longer question a good thing and enjoy the rest of the trip. Hopefully we'd run into a herd of rampaging house elves, or a river that had conveniently decided to appear in the middle of the corridor; anything to elongate the distance between us and the hospital wing.

Though I could feel my ankle swelling more and more by the second, and though I couldn't move my arm, which was pressed in an awkward position against his body, I had never been more comfortable in my life.

**A/N: Major points to anyone who knows what movie Charlotte was quoting! This part of the story would have happened in 1977, and the movie came out in 1978, but I decided that was close enough, hahah.**

**Thanks to everyone who has been sticking with me, and thanks as well to all my new followers! I love you all.**

**_Edit: _I'm awful and forgot that one of the guest reviews for the last chapter asked about Pottermore. Yes, I do have an account, and my username is UnicornAsh109. I will warn you that I don't do much on it, especially not Wizard's Duel because I'm completely dreadful at it. But, hey, feel free to add me! :)**


	28. Bribe

The world seemed to have it out for me that day, for no sooner than Madam Pomfrey had managed to heal my ankle, I found myself nursing a sore wrist courtesy of detention.

It was a fine example of my naivety that I had assumed each of our seven detentions would be just like the first; though sitting in a silent classroom for hours was a bit maddening, it was bearable, especially after Quirrell fell back asleep and I, too, had taken advantage of the time to take a nap.

There is no time for naps, however, when one is ordered to sacrifice her wand for a sponge and scrub floor tiles for two hours straight. The prefect's bathroom on the fifth floor was absolutely sparkling, but my swollen joints and pruney fingers weren't quite so lucky.

It didn't help, either, that Professor McGonagall had bigger and better things to do than babysit a couple of seventeen year old delinquents and left Sirius and me in Filch's care instead. After only a few minutes of listening to him hum ballads to his cat, I was dangerously tempted to dump the entire bucket of soapy water over his head.

The only time he ever paused his tone deaf purrs was to snap at us when we attempted to talk. Sirius and I had to resort to communicating through facial expressions, practically all of which were of disgust or intense frustration.

There were the few dozen times, of course, that Sirius gestured towards my ankle with a tilt of his head and mouthed "Are you ok?" when Filch wasn't looking. No matter how many times I assured him I was perfectly fine, whether or not my nods and expressions of confirmation actually reached their goal or if they made me look more like a constipated Kneazle, his constant look of concern never disappeared.

If Sirius was anyone else, I would've have gotten annoyed by the third time he asked. But it _was_ him, and it was nothing if not endearing. It was if every part of me that didn't want to fancy him disappeared and the parts that did multiplied to fill the void; when he looked at me with those wide, puppy-like eyes, I found myself asking "How could anyone _not _have feelings for you?".

Not out loud, of course. That would be embarrassing.

Even if I didn't reveal my affections through spoken word, there was no denying they were in my thoughts. Along with, admittedly, a hint of frustration.

There was a sweet and concerned Sirius somewhere beneath all the male bravado. I just couldn't understand why he would hide that part of him, the _best _part of him, the majority of the time. I thought back to the day I had loudly accused him of being ridiculously ultramasculine; I wasn't entirely serious at the time, but I couldn't help but think that perhaps I had been on the right track.

I attempted to rid myself of the thoughts, as I would never confront him about my suspicions anyway. He would want to know what his actions had to do with me, and why I cared so much, and I didn't exactly have a reasonable answer. At least not one I was willing to admit to him.

It was one thing to split up his snogfest with Zara Murray in the common room under the pretense that I wanted to speak to him privately. Telling him he had to stop snogging other girls all the time _entirely _was a completely different story, and one I couldn't explain myself out of without admitting all the emotions I felt when he was engaging in his promiscuity.

I just couldn't comprehend how someone who claimed he never felt emotional attachment to girls could be so concerned about a sprained ankle.

It didn't make sense that he could break so many girls' hearts without feeling an ounce of remorse, yet he doted on me like I was a sick infant after I accidentally hurt myself because of something that was barely his fault.

If there was one good thing about detention, it was that Sirius was correct when he said it gives a person plenty of time to think, although it might have been more of a bad thing in my case. By the time we were finished, sponges and buckets stowed away and a disappointed frown etched on Filch's face, my brain was absolutely muddled with conflicting speculations; I felt as if I had been Confunded.

Filch dropped us off in front of the Fat Lady, but neither Sirius nor I said the password; we stood there, awkwardly silent, and watched as the caretaker disappeared around the corner, Mrs. Norris slinking around his feet.

We both looked up at each other the second he was gone. Sirius was wearing the same strange expression I always had trouble comprehending, and he was eerily still. Uncomfortable, I averted my gaze and nervously fingered the charm around my neck, wracking my brain for something to say.

"Remus and Lily better appreciate what we've done for them, yeah?" I finally muttered nervously, staring at the floor, and felt a wave of relief when I saw Sirius shuffle his feet. Something about how tense he had seemed was extremely intimidating. I glanced up to see him furrow his eyebrows, and he was just opening his mouth to say something when another voice cut him off.

"Done what?"

Startled, I whipped my head around crazily to see Remus and Lily coming down the corridor towards us, their faces curious and frustratingly satisfied; I already knew that they were amused with the fact that Sirius and I were together. Outside the common room. After curfew.

I flushed; if I was in their shoes, I'd be quick to make assumptions as well.

"We, er-" I faltered, unsure what to say. I cast a desperate look in Sirius' direction; he gazed back at me, unblinking, for several moments, before calmly turning towards our two friends. He stuck his hands in his pockets lazily and leaned back against the wall beside the portrait; his whole demeanor was one of nonchalance even when there was a chance that the plan he was so desperate to keep a secret might have to be revealed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Prefect duties," Remus replied, then added, without skipping a beat, "You didn't answer my question,"

"What question?" Sirius feigned ignorance, cocking an eyebrow, and I could see Lily restrain an exasperated groan. Remus gave the sort of sigh my mother used to give when I asked her too many questions at once; I could practically imagine him raise a frustrated hand to his forehead like she would, but he didn't. He, if anyone, was used to Sirius doing what Sirius does best; being maddeningly cheeky.

"What did you do that Lily and I are supposed to appreciate?" he repeated.

"Oh, _that _question," Sirius nodded slowly, "Right. Charlotte and I had to clean the prefects' bathroom," My mouth dropped, but I quickly closed it before anyone could notice.

"Why?" Lily asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

"Because Professor McGonagall told us to," Sirius blinked as if it was obvious.

"_Why_?" Remus pressed, and Sirius gaped at him as if Remus was the one being stupid.

"Did you have _detention_?" Lily practically gasped, turning to me with a look of disbelief.

"Well, I thought that much was obvious," Sirius rolled his eyes, and now it was my turn to wear an expression of incredulity, though it was directed towards him, not towards Lily. He caught me staring and gave me a quick and barely noticeable wink, telling me wordlessly that he had a plan and wasn't revealing everything we had worked so hard to conceal.

"How'd you get detention?" Remus frowned, looking between the two of us.

"We were eating in the library," Sirius grinned.

"Madam Pince gave you a detention for _that_?" Lily scoffed.

"Yeah, well, she was already in a bad mood, and the Chocolate Frog squished between the pages of one of her _beloved _books didn't exactly help," Sirius responded, and his lazy posture and satisfied smirk gave off such a credible air of cool-headedness that _I _almost believed him, even though I knew everything he was saying was complete bullshit.

"You're an idiot," Lily sighed and Remus shook his head disapprovingly, though there was a hint of an amused smile on his lips. They had bought it, and I restrained myself from giving an audible sigh of relief.

"Don't look at me! It was Charlotte who did it," Sirius exclaimed, and he shot me a wicked grin. I stammered for a few seconds, before narrowing my eyes at him and playing along with his game.

"Silly me," I chirped, and Sirius' eyes twinkled before he gave a loud theatrical yawn and stretched his arms out over his head.

"I'm beat, let's go inside. What say ye?" he offered in a convincingly sleepy tone.

Remus shrugged and announced the password, and we all clambered through the portrait hole, leaving the Fat Lady to complain under her breath about how long it had taken us to "finally piss off and leave her alone".

The common room was empty except for a few fifth-year stragglers who had already begun to stay up late studying for their OWLs. We made it to the foot of the stairs without attracting any attention to ourselves, and I was just about to follow Lily up the steps to the dormitories when Sirius gently grabbed me by the elbow.

"Are you absolutely positive your ankle is alright?" he whispered, the carefree attitude he had possessed just seconds earlier having disappeared completely.

"Oh, no, I was lying before. It hurts _so _much," I said sarcastically, smiling, but Sirius' eyes widened.

"Do you want me to carry you upstairs?" he asked, and I blinked several times, feeling a deep blush settle in my cheeks at the thought of him taking me to my bed. He stared back at me, unfazed, until I finally came back to my senses and shook my head frantically, choosing not to agree though I was admittedly very tempted to.

"I was joking, Sirius. I'm fine, really. Don't worry,"

His shoulders slackened and he smiled at me.

"I can't help it. Sleep well, Lottie," he said softly, and removed the hand I hadn't even noticed was still on my arm. I gazed at the spot his fingers had been on for a few disbelieving seconds, before whispering "Goodnight" and turning back to Lily, who was frozen and staring at us with one corner of her mouth turned up. I saw her and Remus, who was in almost the exact same position on the stairs opposite us, exchange a glance, and repressed the urge to groan.

"Let's go, I'm about to pass out," I said truthfully as I pushed past her, avoiding her knowing gaze.

"What was that all about?" she practically sang as she ran up the steps behind me.

"Nothing," I shrugged, pushing the door to our dormitory open quietly. The room was dark, and the rest of the girls were already nothing more than lumps in their beds. Grateful for the excuse to remain silent, I crept over to my own bed, desperate for some sleep to, hopefully, clear my mind. I was already undressed and crawling under my sheets when Lily whispered from across the room:

"It didn't seem like nothing to me,"

I didn't have much time to dwell on her words, for I drifted off into what was probably the deepest sleep I had had in weeks the second my head hit my pillow.

I dreamt about ankles and baths and Sirius.

* * *

The bell signifying the end of Defense Against the Dark Arts, the last class of the day, had just rung and I barely had the chance to close the textbook in front of me when a very familiar shaped shadow draped itself over my desk and Remus and Lily, seated on either side of me, both nudged me very firmly in the waist with their elbows.

"May I help you?" I asked, blinking up at Sirius, who was leaning against the edge of the desk with his hands clasped in front of him. He gifted me with such a breathtaking grin that I couldn't help but grimace; it was his "I'm being pretty because I want something" look.

"We've just been assigned an essay," he stated matter-of-factly, still smiling, and I half expected him to start batting his eyelashes.

"Nice to know you were paying attention," I raised an eyebrow, turning away from his beaming face to place my belongings in my bag. I took my sweet time, knowing perfectly well that he wouldn't continue unless I was looking at him.

"I reckon I could use your help," he said after I finally clasped my bag shut and placed it slowly and daintily on the floor before glancing back up at him. The maddening grin still hadn't disappeared and I was greeted with a light kick on the shin courtesy of Lily.

"_I _reckon you should start doing your own work," I retorted and realized my mistake as soon as the words left my mouth; the corners of Sirius' lips were already turning downwards into their signature pout.

"Please?" he widened his eyes sadly, and I sighed loudly, earning myself the view of Sirius struggling to keep himself from smiling again.

"You're a nuisance," I shook my head, and he stopped fighting and allowed his face to split into a wide grin.

"Ah, but I'm _your _nuisance," he winked, and Remus stomped on my left foot at the same time that Lily pinched me on the forearm. I winced and resisted the urge to smack them both, opting instead to push my chair back from the desk and scramble to my feet. Even putting up with Sirius' shenanigans seemed enjoyable compared to being physically abused by two people who happened to share the frustrating characteristic of reading into _everything_.

"Lily, how about we have ourselves a bit of study time as well?" James offered, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Not when you say it like that," she sniffed, and I shot James a grin; he smiled back, misreading my appreciation for the distraction as amusement with his attempt to flirt. He cleared his throat theatrically and pushed his glasses up his nose before turning back to Lily and trying again.

"Miss Evans, would you care to assist me in furthering the extent of my knowledge through study, thus earning yourself the satisfaction of knowing you played a key role in the development of my educational success?" he drawled monotonously, and I caught Lily in the act of struggling against her obvious amusement as Sirius had done just minutes before.

"As you wish, Mister Potter," she said just as dully, and James' eyes widened momentarily.

"I didn't think that would work," he whispered to the rest of us, though Lily was still sitting in the same spot and could hear him perfectly.

"Me neither," she laughed, surprising us all.

As James practically threw himself in Lily's lap in his excitement, I realized I was still standing awkwardly apart from the rest of the group, and I glanced at Sirius, gesturing towards the door with my head at the same time.

"Shall we go?" I asked, and he nodded, hitching his bag over his shoulder and leading the way out the door and into the crowded corridor. Remus shot me a smug smile and I stuck my tongue out at him over my shoulder before disappearing through the doorway.

We pushed past a group of third year Hufflepuff girls, each of which wrapped her hair around her finger and giggled nauseatingly when Sirius walked by, and a cluster of seventh year Slytherin boys who buzzed quietly under their breath when I narrowly avoided trampling into one of them.

"Ignore them," Sirius whispered to me, casting a worried glance at the scowl on my face.

"I was planning on it," I muttered back, and Sirius lifted his hand before dropping it again and curling his fingers into an awkward fist. I stared skeptically at it, wondering what he had been planning to do, before he cleared his throat and spoke again.

"Right, so, I don't actually need your help with the essay," he told me, and I stifled a laugh.

"Wow, really? I had completely forgotten about all the other times you've lied about me tutoring you," I countered, and Sirius furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"Since when are you such a smart arse?" he asked, and I shrugged, suddenly feeling a bit flustered under his piercing gaze.

"Since I started spending more time with you," I responded, and I was surprised to hear my voice sounding a bit quieter and much less sassy than I had intended it to. It was as if I had absolutely no control over any aspect of my mind or body when he was silently surveying me the way he was just then.

"Good answer," he said finally, and offered me a small smile, which I hesitantly returned.

"So…Peeves?" I asked after a moment of silence, and Sirius' grin widened.

"Look at you, being all insightful," he chuckled, and, coming from him, it sounded like a compliment.

Pleased, I trailed after Sirius like an obedient puppy as he led me down seemingly random corridors and up several flights of stairs. A couple times he stopped dead in the middle of a hallway and turned on his heel, almost smacking straight into me, and more than once, he opened doors to empty classrooms and stared into them before shaking his head and continuing onwards without a word.

I remained silent as well, trusting that he knew what he was doing. It wasn't until we had barged through a tapestry into a hidden passageway and practically collided with a couple snogging against the wall that I grew exasperated and asked Sirius what exactly he was doing.

"I'm checking all of Peeve's usual spots," he blinked at me as if it was obvious.

"Why don't you use the map?" I inquired, but he shook his head in response.

"Prongs has it, and if I asked for it, he'd want to know why,"

"Couldn't you just come up with a lie?" I frowned, confused.

"I reckon I've been doing that a bit much lately, don't you?" he asked, glancing over at me. I started to speak but faltered, recognizing that I didn't have much of an argument; he took my silence as agreement and nodded, "Exactly,"

"Why stop now?" I questioned as he stopped at the bottom of a flight of stairs and disappeared through a doorway disguised as a wall.

"All the fun is in the adventure, love," he winked, and I realized he really was enjoying himself, running around the entire castle in search of someone who clearly had the advantage, with the whole being able to fly and go through walls thing.

"I should be doing homework right now," I muttered, and Sirius froze, feigning shock.

"You'd rather be doing _homework _than spending time with me?" he gasped, placing a hand over his heart, and I rolled my eyes.

"I said that I should, not that I want to," I told him, and he let out an overdramatic sigh of relief.

"Thank Merlin, I was almost _very _insulted," he exclaimed.

"Well, we can't have that," I said just as enthusiastically and Sirius wrinkled his nose at me.

"Charlotte," he said loudly and suddenly.

"Sirius," I replied stupidly, a bit taken aback.

"Charlotte," he repeated, and was about to speak again when he was interrupted by a cackling noise coming from overhead.

"Charlotte! Charlotte! Lottie!" Peeves sang, swooping down from the ceiling, "_Naughty Lottie!" _

"Naughty Lottie," Sirius grinned at me, "I'm going to have to use that one,"

"And Mister Sirius Mysterious!" Peeves exclaimed, darting in and out between our feet, "What a lovely couple youse make, youse do!"

"Oh, no, we're not-" I began, but Peeves ignored me, pausing to bob in the air in front of us and warble:

"Blackie and Lottie giddy with glee, S-N-O-"

"Peeves," Sirius attempted to cut him off.

"G-G-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage-"

"PEEVES!"

"Then comes puppies in a puppy carriage!" Peeves roared, cartwheeling through the air and guffawing loudly, pleased with himself.

"You're not funny, Peeves," I scowled, and he froze, staring at me with his large orange eyes.

"Nasty Haughty Lottie has hurt Peevesies feelings!" he wailed and I took a deep breath out of frustration.

"I'm terribly sorry," I lied, and he went silent again, grinning at me wickedly.

"Youse two have been looking for Peevesie," he exclaimed suddenly, looking between Sirius and me.

"How'd you know?" Sirius asked, and Peeves turned to him.

"I knows everything!" he crooned, and I grimaced at Sirius, who was nodding and looking impressed.

"You sure do, Peeves," he said in his best kiss-arse tone, and Peeves bared all his teeth in what I assumed was supposed to be a smile.

"What does wee Blackie want this time?" he practically yelled, and Sirius pressed a finger to his lips.

"Not in here, Peeves. In that classroom, there," he pointed at a doorway halfway down the hallway we were standing in.

"Oooh, naughty, naughty Gryffindor is up to no good," he trilled, but did as Sirius said. Once he flew away, Sirius and I hurried to keep up with him, following through the door he had disappeared behind. Once we closed it behind us and blinked in the darkness of the empty classroom, we were greeted by a bombardment of chalk bouncing off our heads and chests.

"Cut it out, Peeves!" I yelled, covering my face with my arms just as another piece of chalk came soaring through the air towards my nose.

"Peevesies' just having some fun," Peeves crooned, but he stopped throwing the chalk. As I attempted to rub the marks off of my robes, Sirius pulled his wand out and lit it, illuminating the room in an eerie glow. Peeves placed a finger on either side of his mouth and pulled, wiggling his tongue at us juvenilely.

"How would Peevesie like to have some more fun?" Sirius asked, and Peeves closed his mouth, shaking his head frantically.

"I shan't take orders from student beasties, I shan't!" he announced.

"What if I give you some Dungbombs in exchange?" Sirius offered, and Peeves froze again.

"Dungbombs?" he repeated warily, but there was a glint of intrigue in his eyes.

"Dungbombs," Sirius nodded, and Peeves stayed silent for the longest time yet, seemingly analyzing his choices. Finally, he blew a raspberry as if trying to prove that he wasn't showing any respect to either of us, and asked:

"What does Peevesies have to do?"

Sirius barely repressed a relieved smile and immediately sprang into explanation. I listened attentively as he relayed his plan to the poltergeist, as it was the first time I had heard it as well. The longer he talked, the more skeptical I became, until he finally finished and we waited in tense silence for Peeves' final response.

"Peevesies will be here again Sunday night, and he betters find lots and lots of Dungbombs," he ordered, threw one last piece of chalk, which hit me square in the forehead, and bounded upwards, soaring through the ceiling and disappearing from sight.

"I'll take that as a yes," Sirius shrugged, before dimming his wand and leading us back out into the well-lit corridor. He turned to me, his eyes travelling up my face, before laughing out loud. I clapped my hand over my forehead, embarrassed.

"Chalk?" I choked out, and he nodded.

"Here," he said and pulled the sleeve of his robe over one of his hands, using the other to pry my fingers away from my face. I held my breath as he used the fabric of his robe to scrub the chalk off my forehead; when he'd finished, he held me away at arm's length, his hands on my shoulders, and surveyed the results.

I flushed a deep red, feeling silly under his scrutinizing stare, but he didn't seem to notice as he nodded once with a satisfied smile.

"Perfect," he exclaimed, and I averted my eyes, feeling flustered.

"That was awfully intimate," I muttered, and immediately winced, mortified that I had actually relayed my thoughts out loud. To my relief, Sirius only laughed and turned away, heading in the direction of the Gryffindor tower.

"You know what comes next, don't you?" he asked, and I eyed him hesitantly.

"What?" I asked cautiously, and his eyes flashed mischievously.

"Puppies in a puppy carriage," he winked.

I tried to come up with a sarcastic retort, but I was having a difficult time breathing, let alone thinking.

By the time my heart started beating normally again, we were already in the common room.

Sirius lowered himself onto a spot on the couch right next to Isabelle, who glanced over at him happily, and I was left to take the last remaining armchair, feeling conflicted.

Part of me dreaded the elaborate scheme Sirius kept adding on to, as the list of risks and possible consequences seemed to be growing higher by the day.

The other part, the one that was currently watching Isabelle sweep Sirius' hair out of his face flirtatiously, looked forward to it.

It was our thing, mine and Sirius'.

I couldn't say that about anything else.

**A/N: Thanks for being so patient! I tried so hard to post earlier this week but it was just impossible. This chapter is the result of like, five days in the making. I kept hoping I'd finish and be able to post before today, but that obviously didn't happen. Maybe next week, hahah.**

**And to everyone who guessed that the quote from the last chapter was from Grease – yes! I don't know why I felt the need to do that, but it's one of my favorite movies, so…why not? **

**As for the question about how long this story has left to go…I honestly don't know. I'm having an internal debate right now, because I've got two possibilities in mind. Either I can make this a **_**really **_**long fic, or I can stop it at a certain point that I have in mind and then write a sequel. **

**Let me know what you guys think I should do! Either way there's a while to go before this story ends. :)**

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm almost positive the last chapter got the largest number so far! Keep it up, I love you all!**


	29. Spill

I wished for nothing more than a peaceful Saturday morning, one full of blissful sleep and innocent dreams. After almost a week's worth of exhausting detentions taking up all of my nights, one opportunity to sleep in and just _relax _was all I craved.

Rarely had any of my wishes ever been granted, nor was my life ever relaxing since Sirius became involved in it, so it shouldn't have been much of a surprise when my obnoxious roommates began to chant "HOGSMEADE, HOGSMEADE, HOGSMEADE" over and over at the top of their lungs at nine in the morning.

"Why am I friends with you lot?" I groaned bitterly, curled up on the floor at the foot of my bed. I wrapped my sheets, which had been pulled down with me when Mary and Isabelle had each grabbed one of my ankles and yanked me off the bed, tighter around me and snuggled my head into the carpeted floor.

"Who else would you be friends with?" Isabelle teased, not at all fazed by my negativity, "Now get up, we have places to be!"

"Yes, _mum_," I muttered, picking myself up and angrily rummaging through my trunk for something to wear, leaving my sheets crumpled on the ground.

"Aren't you excited?" Lily asked, glancing at my unmade bed with a predictable look of disapproval.

I shrugged in response once she looked back over at me, and she furrowed her eyebrows and pursed her lips momentarily before opening her mouth. I braced myself, ready to hear the undeniable questioning that was about to come spewing out. She was distracted, however, when Scarlett, who had been struggling to pull her pants on, toppled to the floor with a loud thud.

"Has anyone seen my hairbrush?" I called as Lily scurried away to help her back up, and Isabelle turned from where she had been standing in front of the mirror.

"Yeah, I couldn't find mine so I used yours instead," she said, handing the brush back to me. I stared at it, my lip curling at the strands of her hair still stuck in the bristles.

"You could ask next time," I snapped, then bit my lip, slightly embarrassed by the anger in my tone.

"I should have, sorry!" she chirped happily, grinning, and any bit of remorse I had felt disappeared.

Her mood was exceedingly bright, too bright, and it did nothing to improve mine. I speculated that the source of exuberance had something to do with Sirius' recent inclination to be overly flirtatious with her. If I was correct in my suspicions, the cause of Isabelle's happiness was also the cause of my distress.

Watching Sirius and Isabelle drool all over each other was bad enough the first time around.

They had been sitting next to each other whenever possible, speaking to each other quietly enough that no one else could hear, touching each other unnecessarily on the arm, the leg, the face. It was sickening, not to mention entirely confusing. I had decided long ago to give up on my attempts to understand the inner workings of Sirius' mind, but his bipolarity was still maddening.

Isabelle was my friend, and I obviously liked her more than the girl that had been attempting to seduce Sirius in the corridor. But Sirius had explained his rejection of Josie by saying that she was "a bit pushy", and not even Isabelle's closest mate could deny that she herself was the absolute definition of pushy.

It just didn't make sense.

By the time we had all managed to bundle ourselves up in multiple layers and make our way down to the common room, my temperament couldn't be described as anything but sour. I tried my best to hide my frown behind the folds of my thick scarf, but Isabelle ruined any chance I had of inconspicuously getting through the day without suffering through any form of intense questioning.

"Be careful with Charlotte. She's been a bit touchy today," she announced cheerily the second we walked up to the Marauders, who had been lounging around the fireplace and impatiently waiting for us. My eyes momentarily drifted to Sirius, as they always tended to do when he was in the vicinity; he was stretched out on the couch, looking as if he was napping.

"I have not," I sniffed, crossing my arms over my chest, and quickly averted my gaze when Sirius opened his eyes and looked over at me curiously.

"Is poor Charlotte in a bad mood?" James pouted comically. He ruffled my hair, laughing, before I had a chance to pull my mittened hands out from under my armpits and smack him away.

"I am now," I whined, trying to flatten down the tangled mess James had created on the top of my head.

"You've only made it worse," Sirius chuckled, sitting up, and he reached out with his own, bare, hand to smooth my hair down. I couldn't resist sticking my tongue out at him, annoyed that he insisted on his intimate gestures though it was obvious his affections lay with Isabelle, and something unrecognizable flickered across his face before he withdrew his touch and dug his hand into the pocket of his robe.

"Can we go, please? I'm _dying _to have a Butterbeer," Isabelle changed the subject, and I noticed that her voice was somewhat strained and her happy tone somewhat forced.

As Isabelle was met only with wholehearted agreement, we all traipsed obediently behind her as she led us down to the Entrance Hall. I stared at her and Sirius, who were walking side by side and bumping shoulders every few moments, with what was inevitably a glare on my face. No form of distraction came until I was suddenly met with one elbow digging into the left side of my ribs and another in the right side of my waist.

"Must you two insist on harassing me?" I deadpanned, not even bothering to look at my abusers. I kept my gaze locked on Isabelle, who was now trailing her fingers down the side of Sirius' arm. I could feel the unpleasant sensation of bile rising up my throat.

"What are friends for?" Remus responded, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"We're concerned for you, is all," Lily added, and I restrained myself from letting out an exasperated sigh.

"You can show your concern without bruising me," I said, and continued, almost as an afterthought, "Besides, there's no reason to be concerned,"

"Bullshit," Remus chuckled, "You look as if you've just stepped in dragon dung,"

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically, and he patted me on the shoulder.

"It's a lovely look on you, don't worry," he smiled.

"What Remus is _trying_ to say is," Lily cut in, "It's obvious that this…this _thing_," she said, gesturing towards Isabelle, who was now laughing wildly at something Sirius was saying, with a slight frown, "Is bothering you,"

"Oh, no, I'm completely fine with it," I retorted, "As I'm sure you two would be if, I don't know, James and Scarlett decided to start snogging right about now,"

"Charlotte!" Lily gasped.

"Ergbf!" Remus sputtered at the same time.

"Oh, shit," I whispered to myself, realizing what I had done.

"Scarlett_?_" Lily turned to Remus.

"_James?" _ he responded incredulously.

"_You,_" they both hissed simultaneously, rounding on me. I cowered under their intimidating glares, shielding my face with my hands.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked.

"I can't believe you would _do _that," Lily screeched, or did the closest possible thing to a screech that she could do without anyone else overhearing, and her nostrils were flaring dangerously.

"I never told anyone _your _secret," Remus said sadly, his glare having been replaced with a look of disappointment.

"I didn't mean to. It slipped out!" I pleaded, but they both turned on their heels, shaking their heads, and stormed away, whispering rapidly to each other; I assumed both of them were shocked by the other's secret affections.

_Fantastic_, I thought bitterly to myself. It was sheer stupidity that had caused me to anger my friends, who had only been trying to be nice to me. All the secrets swirling around in my mind had become muddled by my frustration, and I hadn't even stopped to think before two of them escaped from my mouth.

"Merlin, I'm such a bitch," I muttered under my breath, scuffing my toe against the ground angrily and shoving my hands deeper into my pockets. I dug my chin into my scarf, staring at the backs of Lily and Remus' shoes as we headed out the castle and followed behind the horde of students en route to Hogsmeade.

I trailed along behind the rest of the group, absorbed in my own thoughts. I had no interest in James and Peter's conversation about Quidditch, which mostly consisted of James explaining his strategies animatedly while Peter nodded energetically, or in Scarlett and Mary's, which was about how a seventh year named Frank was _surely _going to ask out a girl named Alice "any day now".

"Sirius and I are going to Madam Puddifoot's," Isabelle declared excitedly once we had reached the heart of the village, reaching for Sirius' hand. He slowly wrapped his fingers around hers and wrinkled his nose at James, who was making suggestive faces at him.

"We'll catch up with you lot later, yeah?" he asked once he had successfully flipped his best friend the bird, looking around at the group before resting his gaze on me, as if my word was final.

Flustered by the sudden prickling sensation behind my eyes, I stared down at the snow-covered cobblestones beneath my feet and shrugged noncommittally.

Of _course_ they were going to Madam Puddifoot's. Of course they were going to the frilly pink shop full of cuddling couples, where people snogged over their over-sweetened tea. I could just imagine Isabelle crooning into Sirius' ear, suggesting the two of them go off alone to the place where she could easily plop herself down on his lap and receive no strange looks whatsoever.

I blinked a couple times until all the potential tears stopped warning of their presence, then reluctantly looked back up at Sirius.

He smiled at me hesitantly, and I tried to smile back reassuringly, but my frown seemed to be frozen in place. The corners of my lips refused to turn up in the slightest, and I ended up sending him a strange, pained expression instead. His smile faltered, and he squeezed Isabelle's hand before bidding the group farewell and turning towards the side street that led to the tea shop.

"Peter and I have…things to do," James announced, smirking, and blew Lily, who was avoiding his gaze and Remus' at the same time, a quick kiss before turning on his heel and rushing up the road towards whatever shenanigans he was getting himself and poor Peter into.

"I have to go the bookshop and get myself a new journal," Scarlett said.

"There's a new book I want to get. I'll go with you," Remus said quickly, shooting a quick glare at Lily's smug face, and Scarlett smiled uncertainly at him before looking at me.

"You said something about a book the other day, Charlotte, do you want to come?" she offered. I took one look at Remus, whose face had hardened, and shook my head frantically.

"No, thank you," I said quietly, and was disappointed to see Remus' expression soften.

"Oh. Well, alright then," Scarlett's eyebrow etched together, and she turned to Remus, "I guess it's just you and me then," she shrugged, and his eyes brightened. The two of them headed in the opposite direction of where Sirius and Isabelle had gone, leaving me alone with Lily and Mary.

"Three Broomsticks?" Mary suggested, looking around at us, and Lily nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, I could use-" I began, but stopped at the sudden uncomfortable look on Lily's face, "Actually, I have to go buy a new, er, quill," I lied, "I'll join you when I'm finished,"

Mary, having no reason not to believe me, nodded, and she and Lily turned to leave. Lily shot me a hesitant look over her shoulder, and my heart rate quickened momentarily, but it was over just as soon as it had started and the two of them disappeared. I watched as they grew smaller, my heart pinched.

I was completely alone.

I looked around awkwardly at the gaggles of students coming in and out of shops, talking excitedly amongst themselves and huddling together in the cold. I shuffled my feet, hugging myself to keep from shivering, and tried to ignore the several curious looks I received from passersby. Deciding to walk aimlessly, just to look as if I had _some_ purpose, I headed in the general direction of the Shrieking Shack.

I turned down random streets here and there, keeping my head down and dragging my feet slowly. Once I had reached the end of one path, I turned around and went back until I found another one; I must've looked completely daft.

This continued for a while, until, on a path a couple blocks away from High Street, I noticed that there weren't very many other people around; at least, the chatter that had been constantly audible had died down considerably. I finally glanced up to find myself in front of a dingy building with murky bay windows and a wooden sign advertising the "Hog's Head Inn". I hesitated, eyeing the dirty doorknob, but shrugged to myself and pushed the door open.

The room was dark, with a dusty stone floor and several dilapidated wooden tables scattered around. There was a bar on one side, and I reluctantly stepped towards it. A grumpy looking man behind the bar grunted at me, peering upwards from under his spectacles.

"Can I help you?" he asked gruffly, and I pulled my scarf and mittens off while nervously surveying the menu on the wall, which was covered in cobwebs and was absolutely impossible to comprehend.

"Do you have Butterbeer?" I inquired apprehensively. The man gave me a strange look and my hand shot to my necklace; I turned the charm over in my fingers as he filled a dusty mug with amber liquid and handed it to me, "Thank you," I said quietly, turning to find a seat.

I surveyed the room, which was empty except for a cloaked figure sitting in the far corner and a man, who looked dangerously like the drawings of vampires I had seen in my textbooks, in the other. I chose a table closer to the door, and to escape if it became necessary, and settled myself down in the rickety chair, slowly sipping from the mug in my hand.

It wasn't quite up to par with Madam Rosmerta's, but it wasn't as bad as I expected. I swung my feet slightly under the table, taking occasional gulps of my drink and trying to avoid looking around at the intimidating inhabitants of the room. The one time I had let myself sneak a peek at the could-be-vampire, he had been staring straight back at me; it scared me enough that I kept my eyes on my mug from then on out.

Once I had drowned the last few drops of Butterbeer, I placed the empty mug down on the table a bit too hard, then buried my face in my arms. I stayed like that for more time than I could keep track of; the door of the pub opened and closed several times, but I had lost interest in who was coming and going.

I kept tracing everything back.

Lily only told me she liked James because she knew about my feelings for Sirius and it was only fair.

Remus only told me he liked Scarlett because he wanted to explain why he laughed about the idea of the two of us being together, which wouldn't have even been a concern if Sirius hadn't brought it up.

I had already had too many secrets to keep because Sirius was so determined not to let anyone know about the prank, and the only reason I knew about Remus being a werewolf and the Animagi was because planning with Sirius had made me so tired that I fell asleep in the common room.

And, of course, there was the fact that the reason why I had let Lily and Remus' secrets slip was because I was upset with Sirius and his apparently blooming relationship with Isabelle.

No matter how I put it, Sirius was the root of all my problems.

I just hoped he and Isabelle would make the most out of their three month fling, because Merlin knows it wouldn't last any longer than that. I had no idea who his exception was, but it wasn't her; that much I was sure of.

I had just sighed deeply into the sleeve of my coat and was about to go look for Remus and Lily so I could apologize for being a dimwitted git and beg for their forgiveness, when the unmistakable noise of the door opening rang through the room once again. I heard the sound of several shuffling feet, a few hushed whispers, then someone sliding into the seat across from me.

I lifted my head and blinked at the unexpected visitor several times, wondering if perhaps I finally had gone mad.

"Have you got something in your eye?" Snape drawled dully, and I immediately ceased my maniacal blinking, opting to just outright stare at him instead.

"What are you doing here?" I asked incredulously, and he rolled his eyes.

"I've got just as much right to be here as you do," he replied.

"I meant _here _here. By me," I clarified, and Snape glanced at something over my shoulder. I whipped my head around to see the last group of people I wanted to run into.

Regulus, Avery, Mulciber and several of their menacing Slytherin friends had pushed a couple tables together and were crowded around them. Most of them were glaring at me, while Avery and Mulciber were leering at me with ominous grins; Regulus, on the other hand, was wearing a completely neutral expression, save the narrowed eyes he was using to scrutinize me.

Feeling uncomfortable and slightly intimidated, I turned back to Snape, who, I was surprised to see, looked just as uncertain as I felt.

"Why exactly are you here?" he asked, and I stared silently for a moment.

"I was just having a drink," I said slowly and reluctantly, and his face hardened.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said coolly, and I felt a surge of frustration.

"What gives you that right?" I retorted, and he shot another nervous glance at his friends before leaning forward, his long hair shielding his sallow face from the Slytherins' view.

"Look, this is for your own good, not mine," he whispered angrily, and I felt my heartbeat quicken in what was undeniably a bit of trepidation.

"Why should you care about 'my good'?" I whispered back, and his face betrayed emotion for a fraction of a second, though his lips stayed still, "You're hoping I'll put in a good word for you with Lily," I breathed, realization dawning on me, and he leaned farther forward still, the muscle in his jaw tensing.

"Stay and see what happens," he warned, before leaping up and striding over to join his friends without as much as a second glance in my direction.

I surveyed the other Slytherins; a couple of them, including Regulus, were eyeing me curiously, a couple angrily, but the rest had seemingly lost all interest in me and were constantly casting nervous looks at the door as if expecting someone important to walk in at any second.

My nerves getting the best of me, I stood up and scampered hurriedly over to the door. Though my curiosity was admittedly very strong, I didn't have a death wish and had no intention of finding out what kind of consequences Snape was referring to.

I stole a quick look back over my shoulder before disappearing, and I could have sworn Snape gave me a quick and barely susceptible nod. I froze, my foot on the doorstep.

"Close the bloody door, girl, you're letting in cold air," the man from behind the bar called out unexpectedly, and I almost jumped out of my skin.

Ignoring several snickers coming from the Slytherins' table, I made up my mind and left, letting the door slam behind me. I headed back towards the main part of town, my head racing and my hands sweating under the mittens I had pulled back on.

I had several suspicions, each scarier and more ridiculous than the last. A group of students known to be interested in Dark Arts meeting in a dark and practically abandoned pub could never be a good sign, and I wondered if the fact that I had happened to be there would come back to bite me on the arse.

Regulus' face was swimming through his mind, the strange expression he was wearing an ungraspable concept. I reckoned what made me most uncomfortable was that that expression reminded me so much of Sirius; I had never thought of them as looking _that _alike before that moment. The only difference was that Regulus' version of the look hid something sinister, something that had managed to manifest itself in me, as fear, and push me out the door of the pub.

Regulus always seemed to be a bit of a leader within his group; maybe he, like his brother, had some sort of plan as well.

I could only hope his was just as (relatively) innocent.

I had practically forgotten all the dilemmas from earlier in the day and thought nothing of hearing someone call out "Charlotte, wait!" from behind me as I strolled down High Street. It wasn't until I had turned around and saw Sirius running towards me, his scarf flapping in the wind behind him, that I remembered everything.

"Charlotte," he panted once he had caught up, "I've been looking for you _everywhere_. Moony and Scarlett said you went with Mary and Lily to The Three Broomsticks, so I went there to find them, then _they _said that you went to buy a new quill and never came back, so then I went to find you at the supply shop, but the lady at the desk said she hadn't seen you, so I ran around practically the entire village. And now I found you. And you're alone. Why are you alone? And why did you lie to Mary and Lily? Where have you been?" he spewed out, sounding eerily like my mother, and I stood still, blinking at him.

"Where's Isabelle?" I asked dully, ignoring his questions.

"I asked you first," he blinked back.

"I asked you second,"

"I…" he began, his face twisting uncomfortably, "She's a bit cross with me at the moment,"

"Why?" I asked, confused as to what he could have done to get Isabelle to pull her claws out of him.

"It was silly, really," he said quickly, waving his hand, "Your turn,"

"My turn to do what?" I asked, feigning innocence, and turned on my heel to walk in the opposite direction. Sirius stayed behind for a fraction of a second, before grabbing me by the elbow and pulling me back to face him. I glared at his hand, but he didn't drop it; he stared straight into my eyes and furrowed his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, Lottie?" he asked, his voice soft, and I stared back at him and the snowflakes cloaking his eyelashes, wishing I could just tell him everything.

"Nothing," I lied instead, and he shook his head.

"Don't lie to me," he said quietly.

"Lily and Remus aren't speaking to me," I responded after a moment of hesitation, and his eyes widened momentarily before he finally removed his hand from my arm.

"Why?"

"Because I accidentally told Lily one of Remus' secrets and Remus one of Lily's,"

"What secrets?"

"Telling you won't exactly make them forgive me, will it?" I snapped, and Sirius' face fell.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he pouted, and I sighed, raising a hand to my forehead.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just in a bad mood," I closed my eyes.

"Hey," Sirius said tenderly, "Don't worry. They'll forgive you,"

I opened my eyes and shrugged. Sirius scrutinized me, his eyes narrowed just as Regulus' had been; feeling uneasy, I stared down at the toes of my shoes and willed him to change the subject.

"So where _have _you been?" he asked after a few moments of silence, and I almost groaned; that was a change of subject, true, but one that was just as bad as the last one if not worse.

I hesitated, debating whether or not I should tell him about my trip to the Hog's Head and what, or rather, _who_ I had met there. I imagined Sirius' reaction to Snape's words, to his brother's expression, to the entire situation as a whole; I didn't think he would take it well.

"Just wandering," I lied finally, "Why were you looking for me?" I added quickly in a desperate attempt to change the topic of conversation to something I didn't mind talking about.

"We needs sweets for you-know-what," he replied reluctantly, "And Dungbombs for Peeves,"

"Oh," I said stupidly, feeling strangely disappointed, "Right,"

"Or we could go back to the castle," he offered, reading my expression, "And I can just come back tonight,"

"No," I said quickly, and Sirius tilted his head curiously.

"No?" he repeated, and I offered him a feeble smile, my first of the day.

"No. I could use the distraction,"

**A/N: So much angst.**

**Between school and homework and soccer and annoying parents, the fact that I actually managed to finish this chapter is a bit of a miracle. Thanks for your patience!**

**As for whether I should continue this story for a long time or end it soon and write a sequel…your responses were pretty much half and half, so I still don't know what to do, hahh. I'll just have to figure it out eventually.**

**Thanks for everything!**


	30. Risk

I had forgotten how much I loved Hogsmeade.

The previous cacophany of jarring voices suddenly seemed like a melodic chorus of lighthearted friendship, the annoying snow flurries that encrusted the fur of my jacket lining turned into a beautiful display of cascading crystals, and the cold air was now a perfect excuse to get Sirius to grab my hands between his.

Of course, my newly reestablished sappy adoration of the town was completely coincidental and had nothing to do with the fact that I was now accompanied by a cute boy as opposed to being left alone with my foul mood and negativity.

_Completely_ coincidental.

There was, admittedly, the fact that Sirius seemed perfectly content with Marlene's supposed distaste with him.

I remembered how I had felt when Sirius had been angry with me; I was an absolute wreck with no capability to feel any emotion other than regret and self-hatred.

It was pathetic and awful, but it was nothing if not proof of my deep-rooted feelings.

Sirius, however, was laughing and joking and acting as if he didn't have a care in the world. Either he was immensely skilled in hiding his sorrows, or he just didn't give a flying fig about his relationship with Isabelle.

Whether I truly believed it or if I simply lusted to, I opted to go with the latter.

"So what exactly did you do to tick off Isabelle?" I asked Sirius innocently as we trudged side by side up High Street towards Honeydukes. I snuck a covert glance at his profile to see his jaw tense uncomfortably.

"She was unhappy with some things that I said," he said slowly, "I reckon it was because they weren't about her. Nice girl, but she tends to be a tad self-centered," he half-smiled.

"She has a right to be," I grumbled, kicking a pile of slush and wincing as ice water seeped through the toe of my boot, "She's gorgeous,"

"Yeah," Sirius agreed thoughtfully, and I momentarily wished I could suffer the same fate as my drowning foot, "But I don't think she's my type,"

I glanced up at him, scrutinizing his uncertain expression, and debated whether or not I should voice the question ringing through my mind. The awkward silence thickened, and I swallowed the nerves crawling up my throat.

"She's not your exception?" I asked quietly and a little too hopefully, and Sirius looked confused for a fraction of a second before realization dawned on his features. He grinned at me and shook his head.

"No, she's definitely not my exception,"

"Then who is?" I asked without thinking, then nervously scrunched my fingers.

"I'm still not sure," Sirius winked, and, embarrassed, I looked away, glaring unnecessarily at the group of fifth year Gryffindor girls coming our way.

"How about Marlene McKinnon?" I offered with false cheeriness, "I've heard that a lot of blokes are interested in her now that she's grown a nice set of knockers," I told Sirius, watching as the blonde girl jokingly shoved one of her friends, her "nice set" bouncing jovially.

"Do you really think I'm _that_ shallow?" Sirius feigned hurt, placing a hand on his chest.

"Yes," I deadpanned, then giggled when Sirius shot me a sharp look.

"Oh, really?" he raised an eyebrow and smirked, then stepped quickly to his left, blocking Marlene's path. She stopped short right before walking straight into him, then eyed him with faint interest. Her friends, the majority of them Sirius' ex-flings, stared at him as if they couldn't believe he was there.

"Yes?" she asked, placing a coy hand on her hip, and I briefly wondered why Sirius had never gone after her before. She was pretty tough from what I had heard; one of those girls who didn't take crap from anybody. I smirked at the idea of Sirius being intimidated by her.

"Hello, Marlene," he said sweetly, "How are you?"

"I'm all right," she chirped back, lowering her hand and looking less certain of herself, "And yourself?"

"Wonderful, thank you. I just wanted you to know that I think you're a _beautiful_ girl. And it's _not _because you've, er, grown lately," Sirius smiled charmingly, and I clapped my hand over my mouth in a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Marlene, however, didn't seem amused in the least bit.

"Piss off," she scowled, crossing her arms over her chest, and stomped off with her friends, all of whom were attempting to conceal their snickers.

"You're awful," I squealed once she was out of earshot, and Sirius grinned wolfishly.

"It's your fault," he teased.

"That was absolutely horrid. She's never going to want to date you now," I pointed out, and he shrugged.

"Who ever said I wanted to date her?"

"Sirius Black isn't the least bit interested in a fully functioning attractive girl?" I gasped, "I don't believe it,"

"I said I didn't want to _date_ her. I never said anything about a casual snog," Sirius smiled, and I smacked him on the arm.

"You've missed your chance anyway," I sniffed, slightly bitter at the image of Sirius and Marlene kissing that I suddenly couldn't get out of my head.

"Oh, don't worry. I can work my magic on her if I really want to," he pursed his lips and made kissing noises.

"You're _awful_," I shook my head.

"You said that already," he grinned, "Now come on," he said suddenly, grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me the last few steps towards Honeydukes.

I inhaled deeply as the door tinkled to a close behind us, enjoying the mingling scents of chocolate, caramel and candy floss. The store was filled to the brim with students rummaging through piles of liqourice wands and treacle fudge. A couple of third years in the corner were watching a stream of flames erupt from the mouth of their friend, who had several empty Pepper Imp wrappers in his chubby fingers. A group of Hufflepuffs crowded around the toad-shaped peppermint cream display were clutching their stomachs and giggling at the croaking noises escaping from their throats. Rainbow colored candies lined the walls, wrappers crunched underfoot, and the entire shop gave off an aura of childish innocence and happiness.

"Wipe the drool off your chin," Sirius chuckled, "I'll buy you anything you like,"

"Oh, no," I shook my head, "I'm fine,"

"Nonsense," Sirius smiled, "What do you fancy? Fizzing Whizzbees?" he offered, scooping up a pile of the brightly-colored sherbet balls and looking at me expectantly.

"I think I'm more of a toffee kind of girl," I said hesitantly, and Sirius nodded as if it were obvious .

"Of course," he trotted over to the rows of shelves stocked with honey-colored toffee candies, grabbing a plastic bag on his way there. He shoved handfuls of the toffees into the bag until it was bulging at the top, then tied it off and handed it to me, "Your sweets, love,"

"Thanks," I mumbled, clutching onto the bag a bit too hard.

"Now we simply _must_ get down to business," Sirius said, his face solemn.

"Sorry?" I asked, my mind still preoccupied with the fact that Sirius was buying me sweets. And that he'd called me "love". And, if I was being honest, that he was still willingly gracing me with his beautiful presence.

"We've got to find some sort of candy that looks like the ones we bought for the Slytherins," Sirius said in a hushed tone.

"Right," I said stupidly, "And how exactly did those look?"

"Round and blue," Sirius replied, looking amused.

"Right," I repeated, "Like those?" I asked, pointing to a tub full of salt water taffies. Sirius followed my hand and glanced down at the sweets, picking one of the blue ones up and twirling it between his fingers.

"It's perfect," he said finally, sending me a dazzling smile, "You've got quite an eye,"

I blushed, unable to come up with a good response, and trailed along obediently as Sirius, having scooped a copious amount of the blue taffies into a separate bag, pushed through throngs of people to get to the cash register.

We were back out in the cold moments later, as Sirius had managed to work his charm on the girls standing in line in front of us and gotten us to the front of the queue within seconds.

"Toffee?" I offered, holding the now open bag of sweets out to Sirius.

"Don't mind if I do," he smiled, digging one of the toffees out and popping it into his mouth. I watched his lips move with fascination as he chewed, averting my gaze immediately and with slight mortification when he looked back over at me, "Aren't you going to have one?"

I glanced down at the bag I was still holding in my awkwardly outstretched hand and hastily pulled it back, taking one of the candies for myself.

"Thanks for buying these for me," I mumbled, and Sirius waved his hand.

"Least I can do for my partner in crime,"

"Am I your partner in crime now?" I asked, surprised and a bit pleased, "I always thought James held that position,"

"He does, sometimes," Sirius admitted, "I reckon you two will just have to share,"

"Oh, so James and I have to share that, but the two of you can't share me as a tutor?" I teased, but Sirius' face shifted and I immediately regretted my words.

"I, er, only said that because I knew he'd rather have Lily," he said, not looking at me.

"I know," I said quietly, "I was only kidding,"

"Right, well," Sirius smiled, "Off to Zonko's,"

"Right," I answered, shoving the bag of sweets in my pocket and walking alongside Sirius as he silently trudged through the ever-rising snow.

Neither of us spoke until we reached the joke shop. The store was almost as crowded as Honeydukes, with younger students crowding around displays of Nose-Biting Teacups and fifth years stocking up on Sugar Quills to get them through their OWL classes.

Sirius, without even having to look around, strode straight to the case of Dungbombs on the far wall and began grabbing as many boxes as he could possibly carry.

"Help me out, will you?" he asked, and I too began piling boxes into my arms.

"It'll be a bit difficult to get these into the school without Filch noticing, won't it?" I inquired when Sirius' face disappeared behind a staggering pile of boxes.

"Ah, but we won't be going back the normal way," he said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"You're _kidding._ It's the middle of the day, Sirius," I hissed, struggling to keep all the boxes from clattering to the floor as we hurried to pay.

The bored-looking young man behind the counter seemed completely disinterested in us even though we were buying several dozen Galleon's worth of potentially dangerous material. He even conjured up a massive bag in which all the boxes miraculously managed to fit, handing it to Sirius without even awarding him a second glance.

"What's life without a little risk?" Sirius winked, dragging the bag along behind him as he walked straight out the front door and rounded the corner of the building, not even taking a second's hesitation to make sure no one was watching.

I glanced frantically around, looking for possible eyewitnesses, before scrambling after Sirius and finding myself in the horribly familiar dusty alleyway I had been in only a week earlier. I glanced at the building to my left, my heart sinking at the light shining out from the upstairs window.

"She's home," I groaned, but Sirius was grinning maniacally.

"Risk, my dear, risk," he repeated, then dropped the bag he had been holding, pulling his wand out of his pocket with his now free hand. He waved it through the air, levitating the bag up and over the fence; we both watched as it landed with a thud in the neighboring garden, though Sirius was wearing a smile that contrasted deeply with my grimace.

"I'm not going," I shook my head as he strolled to the fence and lifted the bottom edge, gesturing for me to crawl under.

"Then at least hold the fence for me," he rolled his eyes, and I hesitated before letting out an exasperated choking noise and dropping to the ground. I squeezed under the fence, hissing through my teeth when the moisture of the ground seeped through the legs of my jeans.

"Come on, then," I said impatiently after I had hopped back to my feet and grabbed the bottom of the fence.

"I thought you weren't coming?" Sirius smiled at me, curling his fingers around the holes in the fence and cocking an eyebrow.

"I can't let you go alone," I shook my head, "Now come on," I urged, glancing over my shoulder at the lit window.

"Don't get your wand in a twist," Sirius laughed, unhitching himself from the fence and crawling under it with ease, "Your jeans are a bit dirty," he said with amusement, glancing over my legs once he had risen nimbly to his feet.

"As are yours," I muttered with a blush, feeling self-conscious.

"Ah, so they are," he chuckled, looking down at his muddied knees, "Now let's go," he stated, levitating the bag of Dungbombs once more and traipsing up the wooden steps to the back door of the red-bricked building. I stood frozen with my red cheeks, blinking up at the back of his head.

"Are you really just going to waltz straight in there?" I asked incredulously, tearing my gaze away from him to look at the window straight above us. I half-expected a witch to come crashing out of it any second, screaming at us for intruding.

"Do you have any other ideas?" Sirius asked, and I gaped at him, my mouth open.

"I..."

"I thought so," he said pompously, then turned the doorknob. It opened easily, and we were again in the long hallway, dark even though there were plenty of hours left until sundown. Light shone through a door on one side, and I nervously minded my steps, fearful that one of the floorboards would creak and our presence would be revealed.

"I don't understand you," I whispered once we had safely made it into the basement, and Sirius looked up at me curiously.

"Why?"

"Well, er," I started to say, but trailed off, "Never mind,"

Sirius gave me a strange look, but shrugged and opened the trapdoor in the corner. He sat, swinging his legs over the edge, and lowered himself onto the ladder, the bag of boxes bobbing along in the air behind him. I waited until they were both out of sight before following, making sure to close the trapdoor firmly behind me.

I thought about what I had momentarily considered telling him.

He was so confusing. One second, he acted as if putting me in any unsafe circumstances was the worst thing imaginable, yet at the next seemed to think nothing of dragging me along in his midday trespassing adventures.

I would pay every Galleon, Sickle and Knut I owned just to see inside his mind for a moment, to gain an _ounce_ of understanding.

I neared the bottom of the ladder, and, desperate to reach the ground, hastily scrambled down the last few rungs.

"Slow down, you're going to fall," Sirius called from beneath me.

"I will not," I retorted, but, as I spoke, my foot slipped on a loose rung and I toppled backwards, letting out a desperate yelp. I braced myself, expecting to hit the ground, but landed on something undeniably human.

I opened my eyes, which I hadn't even realized were closed, to find myself staring straight up at Sirius' face. His eyes were twinkling and his lips were curled in an amused smirk.

"Told you," he whispered, and I reluctantly pushed myself out of his arms.

"You did that on purpose," I accused, my pride bruised on account of the fact that I had shown off my clumsy side more times in the past week than in the rest of the year combined, and he laughed.

"Right," he teased, "I wanted to catch you so badly that I purposefully made you fall,"

"Obviously," I teased back, "You're just so deeply in love with me you couldn't help it," I said, and my eyes widened momentarily when I realized what I had done.

I _had _to start thinking about things before I said them.

Sirius' face shifted in the flickering light of the lantern on the wall, and he looked at me with a closed-lipped, thoughtful smile.

"Obviously," he repeated.

"Obviously," I said quietly, so quietly that I could barely even hear myself. Sirius took a step towards me, and for a second I almost expected him to kiss me, right there in the murky tunnel. I stood frozen as he neared and inhaled deeply when he was mere centimeters away, curling the toes of my still-damp socks in anticipation.

"The bag's behind you," he said, and all the air escaped from my mouth in what sounded a bit like a strangled cry. I scuttled to my side, allowing the bag I hadn't realized was right behind my head space to move.

"Sorry," I choked out.

"You apologizing to me or the bag?" Sirius grinned, and I scowled at him, embarrassed.

"Why would I apologize to _you_?" I asked, and he winced.

"Ouch," he laughed, "That hurts,"

"Sorry," I repeated, and he let out a guffaw.

"What happened to 'why would I apologize to _you_'?" he asked in a mocking tone, and I resisted the urge to smack my hand against my forehead.

"Sorry," I spat out, "I mean, I'm not sorry. I mean-"

"Just stop," Sirius continued to laugh, shaking his head, "Let's go before your brain bursts,"

We headed down the dusty tunnel, our feet leaving imprints on the dusty floor. Sirius was jovially whistling a tune, and I kept myself preoccupied by cursing myself over and over in my head.

I didn't know what had possessed me to accuse Sirius of being in love with me, even just as a joke.

It was awkward and strange and _impossible._

Thousands of scenarios ran through my mind. Thoughts of _What if he knows how I feel? _and, even worse, _What if he knows how I feel __and __he never speaks to me again because of it_? reverberated off the walls of my skull, taunting me.

I only stopped mentally berating myself when Sirius paused mid-song and turned to me.

"When did you get so clumsy?" he asked suddenly, and I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"Well, thanks," I frowned.

"Charlotte," he sighed, and I shrugged.

_Because I'm automatically ten times more embarrassing when I'm with you?_

"Hell if I know," I lied, "Maybe it's you,"

"Me?" he asked, confused.

"Maybe you're cursed or something," I shrugged again, and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"_Or_ maybe you're just so deeply in love with me that you can't help it," he teased, copying my earlier words.

My mind started screaming _CODE RED! HE KNOWS! HE BLOODY KNOWS! _and attempted to shut down my entire body. I could feel my limbs go numb and my throat go dry; it took every bit of self-control I had to force myself to look straight ahead, keep walking, and pretend as if I wasn't affected whatsoever by his accusation.

"Keep dreaming," I scoffed, and applauded myself on how convincing I sounded. My slightly high pitched voice was hardly even noticeable.

"Oh, I do, Lottie," he replied, and I looked up sharply, meeting his eye. We stared at each other for a split second, but the tense silence was punctured when he grinned and reached out to push my shoulder; the miniscule flutter of hope in my chest shriveled and died.

The infamous and undeniably platonic _shoulder push._

"We're here," I said in a strange tone, motioning towards the stretch of blank wall in front of us once he had come to a halt.

"Wow," Sirius shook his head, staring at me.

"What?" I asked, feeling flustered under his gaze.

"You're pretty _and _intelligent,"

"Shut up," I laughed, taking my turn to push him on the shoulder this time, but my heart secretly swelled.

Even the girl with the most self confidence in the world would feel a thousand times better about herself if Sirius Black called her pretty.

I smiled stupidly to myself while Sirius pulled the blue candies out of his pocket and placed them in the box of Bed-Wetter's sweets already hidden behind the tall stacks of unidentified boxes, while he dropped the bag of Dungbomb boxes, and while he squeezed past me to escape from the crowded corner.

I was still smiling once we had crawled out of the mirror and found ourselves on the fourth floor, empty except for a small huddle of first years on the opposite side of the corridor.

"Back to the common room until the rest get back, yeah?" Sirius offered, and my smile disappeared at the mention of our other friends.

"Yeah," I agreed half-heartedly, my stomach dipping at the thought of what Remus and Lily would say when I saw them next.

Sirius scrutinized my face, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"Remember when I was angry with you?" he asked suddenly.

"How could I forget?" I muttered, and he nodded.

"Remember how Moony made me forgive you?" he continued.

"Yes. Why?" I said slowly, and he smiled reassuringly at me.

"I'm going to get him and Lily to forgive you," he told me, and I perked up slightly.

"Yeah?" I asked, "And how do you plan to do that?"

"Oh, Charlotte," Sirius sighed, "Haven't you ever met me?"

"Yes,"

"Then you should know something about me,"

"What's that?" I questioned, not being able to stop myself from slipping out a small smile.

Sirius' grin widened, and he tweaked my nose as he said:

"I've always got a plan,"

**A/N: It's taking me longer to update every time. I'm honestly **_**so **_**sorry. My only excuse is that high school is a bitch.**

**On a brighter note, I'm sure you've all heard about Fantastic Beasts by now. I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. I thought we'd never have anything new from the Wizarding World, so this is absolutely amazing. Gah.**

**Thanks so much for all your reviews! :)**


	31. Rhyme

I accidentally-on-purpose chose a seat in the common room with a direct view of the portrait hole, so I would be the first to see my friends scramble through it, to see their faces, which would hopefully give me a clue as to how high my chances of earning forgiveness were.

Sirius refused to tell me what his plan was.

"Don't you worry, love. I rarely fail," he had said before turning his back on me and bounding up the stairs to the boys' dormitory two at a time.

I settled myself in my chair, making sure it was at a perfect angle with the entrance to the common room, and absent-mindedly flipped through the book someone had left wedged next to the cushion.

Shrugging noncommittally to myself, I turned to the first page and attempted to indulge in the tiny print, though my attention was punctured by my constant upwards glances every time I heard a creak that sounded anything like the portrait hole opening.

"What are you reading?" Sirius' voice inquired suddenly, and I lifted my head entirely, as opposed to a covert glance through lowered eyelids, to see him standing in front of me, clutching a small leather-bound book in one hand and a quill in the other. He had his head tilted at me in puppy-like curiosity, as if the text in my lap genuinely interested him.

"_A Fascinating History of Troll Migration Patterns_," I read off of the spine dully.

"Sounds captivating," Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not _really _reading it. It's just a distraction," I said quietly, and Sirius nodded in understanding before plopping down on the couch, his feet crossed at the ankles and perched next to my elbow on the armrest of my chair.

He didn't say anything, just opened his book and bit his lip, tapping the feathered end of the quill in his hand against his nose.

"What are you doing?" I asked, amused, and he silently glanced up at me with wide eyes, "Oh, so I can answer your questions, but you can't answer mine?" I teased with a smile.

"Not everything is mutual," he smirked.

_No kidding_, I thought bitterly to myself, my lips curling into a frown.

"I was joking," Sirius added lightly, seemingly noticing my shift in expression, "The answer to your question is that it's a surprise,"

"A surprise?" I repeated skeptically.

"Yes, now shush. I need to concentrate," he waved a hand at me, his eyes screwed shut.

I shook my head and recommenced my attempts to read my book about troll migration, though it could have been about the medicinal benefits of flobberworm mucous for all I knew, considering how much of my attention was actually focused on it.

Between my nervous anticipation of confrontation with the two friends I had managed to estrange in the span of five minutes, and my constant furtive glances at Sirius, it was safe to assume that my knowledge of where and when trolls decided to move their ugly selves was just as nonexistent as it was the day before.

I couldn't have stopped looking up at him if I tried. He was scrawling furiously in his book, which I reckoned was some sort of journal, sometimes pausing to tap his quill against his face thoughtfully. More than once, he didn't seem to realize he was doing this with the wrong end, resulting in several ink splotches across his nose.

Whatever it was that he was writing, it was encompassing him entirely. He had removed his feet from the arm of my chair and flipped over onto his stomach, his face so close to the parchment that the tips of his hair were brushing against the pages.

I twirled my hair around my finger as I watched him, ignorant of the fact that I was making an awful knot that made it seem as if "hairbrush" was a completely foreign term to me. I was attempting to untangle the mess, by which I meant I was angrily ripping out strands, when Sirius slammed his fist down on the surface of his book and emitted a satisfied yelp.

Jumping about a hundred meters into the air and yanking out so much hair that I was positive I would have a bald spot for the rest of my life, I looked around at him with bewilderment to see him staring at me with a wide grin and twinkling eyes.

"The surprise is complete," he announced, completely unaware of the fact that I was seething in pain and rubbing the sore part of my skull.

"Yeah?" I asked with a strained tone of vouce, and his smile widened even further.

"I wrote you a poem," he stated matter-of-factly.

"What?" I asked stupidly, sure that I had heard wrong. I sat upright, forgetting about the pain in my head entirely.

"Don't get all excited. It's absolute horseshit but I thought it might cheer you up. I don't like it when you're all sad-"

"You wrote me a poem?" I said quietly, and Sirius stopped his ramblings mid-sentence and nodded.

"It's about you. Well, us," he smiled.

"Go on then," I urged breathlessly, my heart thudding against my ribcage.

"It's not much, really. A house elf could have done better," he responded, running his hand through his hair.

"I'm not expecting anything Shakespearean," I rolled my eyes, trying to ignore the suddenly clammy sensation in my palms.

"What?" Sirius asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Never mind," I shook my head, discreetly wiping my hands off on the armchair upholstery, "Just read the damn poem,"

"I shouldn't really call it a _poem_. It's more of a story. That rhymes. I reckon-"

"Sirius,"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and _read_,"

"Yes, _Professor_," Sirius stuck his tongue out at me before clearing his throat and looking down at the book he was still clutching in his hands.

There was a moment of hesitation in which he scanned over his own handwriting and I sat, my whole body tense and my feet tapping against the carpeted floor. My fingers were clamped into tight fists and I bore my gaze into Sirius, my posture so rigid that my mother would faint with pride if she saw me.

Sirius finally cleared his throat a second time and began to read, his voice clear and steady.

_There once was a girl named Charlotte,_

_a lovely and talented witch._

_Despite her many good qualities,_

_she really could be a bitch._

"Hey!" I interjected, and Sirius shrugged apologetically.

"You've said it yourself,"

"Whatever," I scoffed, "Keep going,"

_She shared her House with a boy_

_by the name of Sirius Black._

_He convinced her to help write his essay,_

_for kissing arse he had quite a knack._

I snorted, and Sirius shot me a look before shaking his head with a smile and continuing.

_Little did he know that very same day,_

_Charlotte would be a bit thick._

_She loudly said some rude things,_

_because he was being a prick._

"I'm still sorry about that," I practically whispered, and Sirius waved his hand at me.

"I deserved it," he said without looking at me, then continued without as much as a second breath.

_He ran away like the prat that he is,_

_And she followed closely behind._

_By the time they finished their talk,_

_Sirius had made up his mind._

_He told her all about his deepest fear,_

_and how awful it made him feel._

_She made him feel so much better,_

_so the two came up with a deal._

_He'd prank the green-robed arseholes,_

_whose minds were filled with wrong._

_He'd get revenge for their nasty deeds,_

_which he had wanted for so long._

_Charlotte agreed to be his lovely assistant,_

_and help him every step of the way._

_He warned her of all the dangers,_

_but her steady resolve wouldn't sway._

_She went through hardships and struggles,_

_and even a fair bit of pain._

_But she simply refused to give in,_

_though she didn't have much to gain._

_Sirius and Charlotte had many an adventure,_

_roaming the school halls at night._

_Their friendship couldn't be broken,_

_by even the nastiest fight._

_An awful fight did ensue,_

_full of harsh words and heat._

_But it all took was a hug,_

_to get them back on their feet._

I couldn't help but let out a small cooing noise, and Sirius paused.

I clamped my lips together, praying he wouldn't comment on my strange outburst.

To my relief, he recommenced his reading.

_Now they're still kicking arse side by side,_

_and the long awaited prank is looming near._

_Sirius can't help but admit,_

_that he's filled with a small bit of fear._

_He doesn't know if Charlotte feels the same,_

_but he does know that she's sad._

Here he paused suddenly, his muscles tensing, and I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. I stared, desperate for him to continue.

When he did, it sounded strained and slow, as if he was having trouble reading what was on the page.

_It's hard to see Charlotte so upset,_

_difficult to watch her feel bad. _

_Two of her friends are angry with her,_

_so she's suffering from guilt in her heart._

_She simply can't imagine what she'll do,_

_if their friendship is torn apart._

_She wants to make her friends forgive her,_

_so now she's waiting and tense._

_Sirius feels it's his duty,_

_to give them a fair bit of sense._

_His advice to Remus and Lily,_

_before they make their last call,_

_Is to know that a life without Charlotte,_

_isn't much of a life at all._

Sirius looked up abruptly, and I stared back, lost for words.

At that moment, I couldn't care less whether Sirius secretly wanted me as much as I wanted him or if he truly viewed me as nothing but a friend. It didn't matter whether his words carried an underlying proclamation of romantic feelings or if they were simply proof of how much our platonic relationship meant to him.

It didn't matter because either way, Sirius cared about me.

_Me_, who, only a few months earlier, had only considered him a friend because we hung around the same group of people. Who never felt as if the connection we shared was anything close to the tight bond between the Marauders. Who felt subordinate compared to the girls he chose to lock his lips on while I stood off to the side and watched with envy.

_A life without Charlotte isn't much of a life at all. _

I mattered to him. My feelings mattered to him. The fact that I was upset actually bothered him to the point where he actually wrote a _poem _to make me feel better.

Sirius Black, writing a poem. It was unheard of.

But he did it for me.

I opened my mouth, trying to conjure up a sentence that could possibly sum everything I was feeling, but my mind had whirled and twisted so many times that it was left blank. I gaped silently, attempting to regain the ability to use my brain, but was interrupted by an outburst from the doorway.

"You absolute _sap_," Lily exclaimed, standing in the front of the rest of our friends. Her nose was still pink from the crisp February air and she hadn't even taken the time to remove her hat. She simply stood there, looking between Sirius and me with her lips parted.

My eyes practically bugged out of my head as I turned back to Sirius with sheer panic running through my suddenly reinvigorated thoughts. He looked as though completely unfazed by the turn of events, sitting there with a lazy smile on his face.

I raised my eyebrows so high I was sure they were touching my hairline in an attempt to relay my worries, and Sirius gave a barely perceptible shake of his head in response.

"It's ok," he mouthed, and I frowned, confused, "Later," he added silently, seeing my frazzled expression.

Before I had a chance to fully grasp the situation, my attention was again diverted.

"Sirius," James whispered, pushing himself out from behind Lily and creeping slowly over to us while I sat frozen, "I don't know how to tell you this, mate…" he trailed off, stopping in front of Sirius and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Tell me what?" Sirius smiled softly, staring up at his best friend with calm amusement while I tried my best not to have a heart attack right there in the middle of the common room.

"I think…" James closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again and shaking his head at Sirius with concern, "I think you're a girl,"

"Shut up," Sirius scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest though he was still smiling to himself, while James roared in laughter and looked over to the rest of the group for encouragement.

His laugh drowned down into quiet giggles before muting completely, as Peter was seemingly the only one who enjoyed his joke. Scarlett and Mary were too busy eyeing me with a mixture of disdain and curiosity, apparently unsure whether they should avoid speaking entirely in their angry jealousy or if they should bombard me with questions. Isabelle couldn't laugh either, as she was explicitly fuming, her jaw clenched and her nostrils flaring dangerously.

Flushing with embarrassment and a bit of guilty pleasure under her pointed glare, I reluctantly turned towards the two people I was scared of seeing the most.

Remus, who had yet to say a word out loud, and Lily, who had ceased her incredulous staring, were off to the side, awkwardly shuffling their feet and staring at the floor. I could see their lips move as they whispered something to each other, and my heart sank further down the longer I watched. It must have been only seconds, but it felt like an eternity; eventually, Lily finally looked up and her eyes met mine.

Her expression didn't betray any emotion. Her face was blank; she was gazing at me as if she wasn't entirely sure what she should do.

I was just about to give up, tears prickling behind my eyes, before I saw her puff up her cheeks slightly and exhale. She offered me the feeblest of smiles, and I practically jumped out of my seat in my excitement, my heart soaring back up past my chest and into my throat.

"You forgive me?" I choked out, and she rolled her eyes before widening her smile and walking over to plop herself down in the armchair next to me.

"I can't stay mad at you," she sighed, then leaned closer and whispered, "Besides, I think you have some explaining to do,"

"Explaining?" I whispered back, my face reddening, but she simply arched her eyebrow and smirked in response.

"Mhm," was the only form of clarification she gave me.

"How about you?" I said, turning away from her to face Remus, who had shuffled forward slightly.

"I don't know…" he said hesitantly, scratching the back of his head.

"Please?" I pleaded quietly, clasping my hands under my chin, and he eyed me reluctantly.

"I suppose it _was _an accident," he said slowly, and this time I did jump to my feet, throwing my hands around his neck and enveloping him in a hug.

"Thank you," I whispered, "And I'm so sorry,"

"He gets a hug and I don't?" Lily pouted from the chair, and I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her upwards into us.

I sighed happily, feeling the heavy burden of guilt leave my shoulders, but was interrupted when Sirius loudly cleared his throat. I looked around at him; he had stood up as well, and was now leaning against the arm of the couch with his arms crossed over his chest and a strange expression on his face.

"Right, well," he exclaimed, "You have me to thank,"

"True," Remus conceded, "If it wasn't for that awful poem, I never would have forgiven her," he grinned, and Sirius wrinkled his nose at him.

"I want to know the rest of it," Lily whined, "We only got to hear the last couple lines,"

I glanced at Sirius again.

"_Told you_," he mouthed, and I smiled, relieved.

"I'm afraid the rest of it is for Charlotte and me to know and for you lot to never find out," Sirius said to the rest of the group, snatching the still-open journal off of the couch and snapping it shut seconds before James' outstretched fingers wrapped around it.

"That's not fair," James exclaimed, and Sirius grinned again.

"That's life," he winked, and Lily groaned.

"Excuse me," Peter piped up from the armchair I hadn't even noticed he had occupied.

"Yes, Peter?" Sirius asked kindly.

"Am I the only one here who doesn't know what the _hell_ is going on?" Peter replied, and Remus and Lily guffawed.

"I'm with you, Peter," Mary shook her head, "I haven't been this confused since the last Transfiguration exam,"

"Why were you angry with Charlotte in the first place?" Scarlett asked, looking between Remus and Lily with curiosity.

"It's a long story," Lily sighed, and Scarlett frowned.

"What _I _want to know is where you two have been," Isabelle chimed in angrily, still glaring at me. She didn't cast a single glance in Sirius' direction, though I didn't have to ask to know who she was referring to.

"We, er, were bored so we thought we'd come back early," I stammered, a bit taken aback. Clearly she was angry that I had taken the precious time she thought Sirius was going to be spending with her, but it wasn't as if it was _my _fault.

Sirius had every right to spend time with whoever he wanted to spend time with, especially if that person was me.

And me saying that, when only that morning I had been the one in a foul mood while bubbly and excited Isabelle was latched onto Sirius as if her life depended on him, was _definitely _not hypocritical.

"Bored, were you?" Isabelle spat, finally wheeling on Sirius, who blinked back at her sheepishly. Before he had a chance to respond, she turned on her heel and strutted away to the stairs, which she loudly ascended and slammed her way into the dormitories.

"Now I'm even _more _confused," Peter lamented.

"She's a bit, um, _bitter_," Scarlett explained, giving me an unreadable look.

"I'm assuming it has something to do with me?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Well, Isabelle said-" she began, but Sirius cut her off.

"Isabelle says many things. I need a word with Charlotte alone, please," he said quickly, and Scarlett pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him before shrugging and turning away.

Sirius grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to the opposite corner of the common room, shooing away the group of second years huddling around a wizard's chess board.

"What are you doing?" I asked incredulously as he sat himself on the bench and dragged me down with him.

"I thought you would want an explanation," he said in a monotone voice, and I widened my eyes at him, anticipating a clarification of what had happened with Isabelle and what exactly it had to do with me.

"Go on," I pressed, and he nodded, twirling a pawn between his fingers and ignoring the fact that it was beating him with its little fists in protest.

"So, I saw them walk in-" he began, but I interrupted him.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" I asked, confused, and he furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"The poem," he said slowly and with an emphasis on each syllable, as if speaking to a child.

"Oh," I responded stupidly.

"What did you _think_ I was talking about?" he inquired, but I waved my hand.

"Never mind. Continue,"

"Right. Like I said, I saw them walk in, and I was just going to stop reading, for obvious reasons. But then I thought that I could use the whole poem thing to my advantage, so I changed the ending to make it about Remus and Lily," he explained, "I knew they'd forgive you no matter what, but I figured it might help-"

"Whoa, whoa. Wait. So the actual poem has a different ending?" I asked, and Sirius bit his lip.

"Yes," he said reluctantly, and my heart resumed its erratic thundering.

"Can I hear it?" I asked quietly, and Sirius scrutinized my face.

"No," he said finally, and I scowled.

"Why not?" I demanded, and he smirked.

"Maybe some other time,"

"That's not fair! If they hadn't walked in, you would have read it!" I exclaimed, and he laughed.

"Life's not fair," he repeated.

"Trust me. I know," I grumbled, and Sirius stopped laughing.

"I'll read it to you eventually. I promise,"

"Good," I said uncertainly, not sure what else to say. Another thought came into my head, and I added, "If you didn't know when they were going to come, then that couldn't have been your original plan,"

"You just get smarter and smarter, don't you?" Sirius grinned.

"Then what was?" I asked, ignoring his mockery.

"My plan was to not have a plan," he responded, and I gaped silently for a few moments.

"That's absurd," I stated finally.

"Nah," he countered, waving his hand, "I was just going to wing it, make them talk to you and have it play out on its own. I said it before – they were sure to forgive you,"

"What makes you say that?"

"It's impossible not to," he gave me a small smile, "I did,"

"Are you saying that I'm just so irresistible no one can possibly hate me?" I teased, expecting him to joke back, but his face remained straight.

"Yes," he stated matter-of-factly, and I blushed, "Although I think Isabelle might break that rule,"

"What _did _happen with her?" I asked, grateful for the change of subject and also genuinely curious.

"Er…" Sirius hesitated, rubbing his hand against the side of his neck and staring over at our friends, who were all still seated where we had left them and kept looking over at us not-so-sneakily, "When she and I were together earlier today, she became upset with me,"

"You told me that already," I nodded, "but why?"

"She had this _crazy _idea that I, um, talk about you too much," he grimaced, and it took all the self-control I had not to let my jaw drop to the floor.

"About _me_?" I squeaked.

"Yeah. I just, you know, brought up things you had said, or done. I reckon she was just angry that all of my attention wasn't focused on her," he shrugged, staring down at his hands.

"Oh," I breathed, and he looked up at me with one corner of his lips turned up.

"Don't get any ideas," he warned, and I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling as if I might throw up.

"I wasn't going to," I lied quietly, and he stood up suddenly.

"Good," he said just as quietly, then held out his hand to me. I stared at it, shell-shocked and confused, "I just want to help you up," he clarified, sounding slightly amused.

Hoping he couldn't tell that my fingers were shaking uncontrollably, I slipped my hand in his and let him pull me to my feet. Whether it was reality or just deliria, I felt him give my palm a subtle squeeze before dropping it and loping over to the couches without as much as a backwards glance.

Once he was out of earshot, I let myself release a few frantic breaths before collecting myself and following. As I walked the short distance, which felt more as if it was hundreds of miles, a small smile appeared on my face, widening with each step I took.

By the time I appeared in front of Peter, who was still occupying the seat I had originally been sitting in, I was wearing a broad grin that probably made me look crazed and most likely explained the apprehension on the small boy's face.

"Excuse me, Peter, but I believe you're sitting on my trolls," I exclaimed.

"S-sorry?" he asked, looking downright perplexed.

"The book," I explained, and his mouth formed a small "o" before he reached a hand under his bum and pulled out the book I had been reading, still opened to the same page though now slightly flattened.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, handing it to me with a wince.

"No matter," I chirped, taking the book from his hand and settling into a chair, still smiling like a loon.

For some strange and incomprehensible reason, I suddenly _really _wanted to learn the migration patterns of Northern European trolls.

**A/N: I wrote this instead of doing my APUSH homework. Oooops.**

**So, I'm ashamed. This is so late. I'm truly really deeply sorry. **

**I don't even know what to tell you guys anymore. I don't think my updates will ever be on time anymore, at least not until winter break. School just takes over everything, to be honest. I wish I could change that but I can't. Poo.**

**Hopefully you guys stick with me.**

**Thanks, like always, for all the fantastic reviews. I love you all!**


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